Any other newly lonely mom's?

Shelley - posted on 07/09/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My husband has a new job which requires him to travel a lot. Our daughter is almost 5 months and I feel like a single mom a lot of the time. It took a lot for us to have her and I enjoy her every second and never take her for granted. It is tough at times though when all I need is a little break. I am lucky to have my family, but it's not the same as having your best friend at home to have dinner every night & spend time with. I am okay for most of the week, but once Thursday gets here, I find I have a lot of difficulty. The computer & phone isn't the married relationship I wanted. We moved to a new town where I don't really know anyone. I don't want to be selfish, but I am truly unhappy. I am hoping that I can get use to it, but it's awfully lonely. He said he would quit, but then he'd have to go back to a job he hates. So one of us has to be miserable & I guess right now it's me. Has anyone else felt this way? How did/do you deal? Thank you for any advice:)

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Francesca - posted on 07/13/2011

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Definitely! We also moved soon after our child was born. I went back to work after 4 months, but I was working out of my home, without any face-to-face interaction with my coworkers.

The best thing I did was find a group of moms who were forming a book club. Even if we only met once a month, it was great to have other women that I could talk to about something meaningful. And very quickly that became a group of people to organize playdates or shopping trips with as well.

If bookclubs aren't your thing (although it's not hard to find one that's light on the reading / discussion) then look for a moms exercise group or maybe a church group that's doing something that interests you. You will feel better if you have local friends! Good luck.

Terri - posted on 07/12/2011

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There are soooooo many of us on here in a similar boat, I feel like we had a conversation like this a few months back but who knows maybe that was another group! I hear you on the part where it is tough to adjust. I married a pilot 3yrs ago & it didn't bother me too much that he was gone a lot until I was pregnant with our 1st. Here is what I can tell you...it gets easier but only after it gets hard. Once the baby arrived it became apparent that a few changes had to be made that I have never anticipated one of which was leaving my job. Suddenly I was cut off from socializing unless it was via phone or internet. I was alone with a baby 24 hrs a day, 3-5 days a week every week & I honestly thought I may have a break down. I usually could make it 3 days easy, day for got a little rough & day 5 I was done & ready to cry myself & almost feeling sorry for myself. Time to time I'd think this isn't what I signed up for, yet in a way it was. I took vows that stated "for better or for worse", I never thought about how not working or knowing ppl where I live would lead to worse or make me sad. Once I gained perspective & found my groove then it got easier. I wish my husband was home for dinner or to lay down at night next to me but that just isn't reality & our life is an amazing life, not traditional but amazing. All I can recommend is that if you need to meet people there are groups out there for moms. I know moms international has chapters all over the world & they cater to stay at home & part time working moms. There are story times at libraries as well as book stores that are free & children off all ages need to be read to let alone you get to interact & maybe meet people. The more active your little one gets the more there is to do such as childrens gyms with mommy & me classes (many take young ones in your little ones range). I'd look into mom groups in your areas they usually meet in public places & organize events you can attend.

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Melissa - posted on 08/27/2011

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Ohhhh I so feel the same as you. My husband got a new job where he is gone typically 4 days a week and he started that when my son was 5 months old. He's almost 10 months old now. How long has he been at the new job?

Shelley - posted on 08/08/2011

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Thank you ladies! It is nice to know I am not the only one. I am okay for about 3 days as well, but after having my daughter 23 hours every day, by day 5 I am so ready for a break! I can say that it has been a few months & I am getting use to it. I think once the baby is a bit older & I can get her out to the park, etc., I will hopefully meet some other moms:)
Thank you again! Your advice has really helped.

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