Anyone's husband a pilot??
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My Husband is a Cpt for ExpressJet in EWR. He works back-2-back 2 days and is senior enough to have at least 15 days off a month, but when he's gone -- he's really gone! If something goes wrong with our 8 month old twin boys I'm on my own. We have no family out here and it gets difficult. I'm very lucky that he is so hands on when he is home and he understands that I need a break from the chaos. It can be very stressful, but we are making it work.
Mary - posted on 07/20/2010
My husband flies internationally for Fed Ex Express. He is gone sometimes up to 3 weeks at a time. I have an 11 year old son who is entering a crucial time where his Dad will be key. I also have an 8 year old special needs daughter who takes a tremendous amount of energy (both emotional and physical) to deal with. One of the best things of late that has developed for our family situation is SKYPE. With Skype, Chris can be in just about any obscure country in the world and me and the kids can talk to him and (most importantly) SEE him in real time. There are smudge and goo marks all over our monitor from our daughter trying to give him kisses. This is a free service for those of you who are already aware of it. Just go to Skype.com
Yes! We have two children 2 and 6. My husband is a captain @ a major airline and his schedule is pretty cushy now. I am glad he is past the commuter days, the way the economy is going I feel like we could be back at those days anytime though. KARIN- 4 kids and he is gone 6 days at a time, kudos to you. The divorce rate is very high with pilots b/c not many women can do it by themselves. I have to say that I have girlfriends with children that their husbands are gone alot too and we get together and do dinner often and have picnics on the floor with pizza. Wine for us :) It really has made all the difference to me. Do not stay isolated find other POSITIVE MOMS and get a mommy group together and have fun!
Melissa - posted on 01/31/2011
my husband and i have a 3 mth old and my husband was just hired by skywest. Any advice for me...? Right now he works 7 days a week so going to skywest and working less days a week should be better. I do feel like a single mom most of the time. Is it going to get worse?
oh Krystal (I belive it was Crystal I apologie if not). i get it =. completely. we have almost 14 month twins and no nanny and my husband recently moved for a job. feeling like a single mom...definitely., although my mom killed me for saying that once and I guess she has a point but like you said...when something goes wrong it all lies on us (at least I think you said that). as if twins isn't hard enough. wouldn't change anything cause tha's the way it is meant to be right now (he's still beginning career) and the babies are the best but n, I don't think anyone really gets the amount of work invovled. OMG how i'd love to hire pt nanny but can't afford it at all. and work in childcare and really do NOT want to put them in it so I can go look after others children.
Nika - posted on 12/25/2010
Sorta...well hes gonna be. He does "fly" everyday he says....but for him that means as a passenger...delievering mail to soliders...hes a contractor...when hes not doing that hes doing his main job...fixing the helicopters he "flys" on. Why do you ask?
yes I AM glad I found this post. my husband moved about a month ago to winnipeg (we are in toronto if there are any canadians here). we have 13 month twins and I sooo cannot relax in the evenings. the day is finally over and I totally zone out then panic getting stuff ready for next day. our goal is to eventually move out there (or have him move back here if he can find something) but I'm not ready to go there yet and don't think I will be for awhile. he needs to get settled and move up a bit in the company. my family is here and with twins I really do need the support (twin mom above with no family near I feel for you!).
how jealous I am of you moms that have them half here/half not. then again...sometimes its easier when he's not! terrible I know but true.
Renee - posted on 11/24/2010
Nicole, have you tried a flexible retail job? I worked as a pharmacy prior to getting pregnant, and then went back when my son turned one. He knew that my schedule would be crazy but was willing to work with me. I then decided that I wanted to work from home and got certified as an intensive foster parent. That is what I am doing now. It has its good points and bad points. I don't make much money, but I am really good at being frugal and getting great deals that I definitely take home a good amount of money at the end of the month (They do consider this a job, and that people who are reputable deserve a compensation). I also don't have to put my son in daycare, which is very important to me (and saves money), or have family raise my son (saves aggravation over my MIL!). The whole system is VERY different then what I thought it would be and even though I am only 23 I am enjoying it, and can handle it mostly on my own.
Cindi - posted on 11/03/2010
My hubby is a captain with a regional airline and yes I feel like a single parent for half the month! It's tough being without him 4 days a week, but then I think about the military wives whose hubby's are deployed for years at a time and my situation doesn't seem so bad!!! Plus we have a great deal worked out where because I have to change diapers 100% of the time while he's gone, he has to change them all while he's home! :) He really does help out a lot when he's home, but I still miss him so much when he's gone!!! :( I think the hardest part about being an airline wife is that we moved across country for his job so I don't have my best friends or family here. It gets pretty lonely at times with just the baby and me. She's cute and fun and all, but doesn't really make up for no adult contact! I'm in several mommy groups, but they all have their own lives and they cant hang out on weekend or evenings because thats when their husbands are home. I think evenings are the worst!!! That's what I get for falling in love with a pilot. lol!
Elaine - posted on 10/21/2010
so great to see that Im not the only one, thanxladies! We had to pack up and leave earlier this month to Dubai...cant work here but as a moomy I suppose you work for the rest of your life! get so frustrated coz I can NEVER say..hey babe I need a 10 minute break...nooooo so sick of hearing "I had a long day so I need time to rest" in front of the tv or computer better than spending time with your son??cant remember the last time he changed a freakin simple nappy???mommy can do the crappy jobs, coz hey, after all I just do sit and do nothing at home all day scratching my nose...
Heidi - posted on 09/22/2010
It runs in our blood.... My father is a Captain for a major US carrier, so in turn I became an airline pilot, so in turn I married an airline pilot?! It's a sickness I guess. I grew up with my Dad flying for both the military and the majors. I do believe that because of that I really appreciate my "alone" time when my husband leaves for his trips. He flies overseas for weeks at a time for a major US cargo carrier. Skype is really the key to keep the little ones excited about seeing Daddy when he lands. Good for the Mommy too, as I quit flying so I could be here to raise my children myself.... the nanny thing isn't for me. I always tell my husband that by being the "single" parent give me "job security." Ha! He needs me to do a good job with the home and the children and I need his head to be in the game at all times... when airborne and when on the ground in foreign cities! It takes phenomenally understanding women to do what we do. Don't think that it makes it easy for our husbands to leave.... I can't count the number of times that people would ask me in the airports, "do you love what you do?" Always yes, but there is no better place to be then home with your family, sleeping in your own bed and eating meals with loved ones!" But if you gotta leave, flying is the best gig going:) Stay Strong Wives!! You are all loved by your families for what you do more then you realize:)
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Nicole - posted on 08/18/2010
My husband is a pilot for American Eagle. Life as a pilot wife is not nearly as cushy as most people think. We have a 2 month old and at this point I'm not so concerned with the single parent-esque part of it...but of him missing out on things. How do the other husbands handle that? I get so worried that she is going to do all her milestones while he is gone and I won't be able to record them.
Kendell - posted on 07/30/2010
Kate, I do agree with you when you say that he has no clue how much it takes to care for children. We have 5. The first 2 we had when he was in the Navy. It was difficult having a newborn and a toddler while he was deployed for the first Persian Gulf war. I was young and kind of a wienie but I know that I became much more independent after that. Maybe that's why I think the airline thing is so much easier. We had 3 more children after he started flying for Delta. It is not always easy but I look at it this way...if my husband had a "regular job" he would be working 40 hours a week and when he was at home probably wouldn't be helping with the kids all that much (plus from what I hear from my friends, we get to miss the whole "I've been working all day, I need to relax for a while" mess!). That would leave only weekends to have family time. I try to take care of everything while he is gone so that when he is home we can have as much family time as possible. And unfortunately that is where I have made my mistake. My husband, who has been a commercial pilot for nearly 20 years, has become slightly spoiled and thinks it's all about him (I'm quoting all 5 of my children when I say that.). When he is off, he thinks we need to go to every Naval Academy football game. He also thinks we need to spend the entire summer at our lake house. That goes over like a lead balloon with our 14 year old daughter. We all have our burdens and the fact that my husband is more spoiled than all of my children put together is mine. I have learned to prioritize and if something doesn't get done, it doesn't get done. Make the most of the time you have together and the time you have apart.(My 2 best friends stop by once a week when my husband is gone and we call it therapy.) Find other pilot's wives and offer a babysitting exchange. They are in the same situation that you are and what are the chances that your husbands are flying the same schedule. What I'm really wondering is am I the only one who thinks, "Oh good, he's leaving on a trip tomorrow. I can get done what I want to get done. And we can have frozen pizza for dinner!"?
Kate - posted on 07/30/2010
Yes! I'm so glad you posted this! It's nice to know other pilot's wives are out there in similar situations. I apologize for the negativity this post has, but I'm very frustrated and hoping for some good advice.
My husband flies for a commercial airline, and we have a 10-month old. You think raising a child as a pilot's wife will be no problem, but you don't really know how hard it is until you do it. (Karin-I can't imagine having so many kids. You are amazing!) He works 4 days a week, but has to pick up naps or other short trips for financial reasons, so he winds up only being totally off for about 10-12 days a month. Then, when he's home, we have a bit of property that he has to tend to, which takes time away from us, also. I have had a young sitter this summer who works a couple of half-days a week so I can work, but she's leaving for college in 2 weeks! Also, I have to pay for the sitter myself, and I can't afford much more than those two half-days a week. It's like I am already mad at him by the time he comes home because I resent having to do everything myself and, since he's never home, he seems to have no clue (even though I try to keep him verbally informed) how much time, energy, and preparation go into caring for our daughter. The time my husband is home is so limited that the only time "off" I get is when he cares for the baby so I can go to work! I feel like a single mom about 75% of the time. Do you ladies feel like this at all? Thanks!
Christine - posted on 07/26/2010
Yes, my husband is a commercial pilot. He is gone about 4 x week, which makes it difficult since we are trying to conceive. I actually enjoy a few days alone each week to get housework done and shopping etc. It makes the time he is home more enjoyable when all my "chores" are done.
Renee - posted on 07/08/2010
Yep, I am married to a 747 international pilot who works for a cargo company who fly's into the worst parts of the world with military equipment as well as other locations. His schedules are always different, can change at a drop of a hat, and make it impossible to have a 'regular' relationship. Bu with out him flying, I would have to put my son in day care and work plus our relationship would not survive. When we met he was in training and away so our relationship was truly built on trust and distance.
Wendy - posted on 06/13/2010
YES here too!!! My husband flies for Kalitta Cargo Company based out of Michigan and is sometimes a month which is a long time for two little children but they are beginning to understand why he has to leave after he comes home for a week and a half! It is heart breaking but we are a strong family and Im blessed to have him and stay at home since 2003
Gina - posted on 06/08/2010
Yes! My husband is a pilot for a commercial airline. He's gone about 4 days out of the week, and it's very hard on me. I have a two month old baby boy, so I feel like a single mom when he's away. At least I don't have to work, though!
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