Are you a wife or girlfriend of a tugboat captain? Does he leave for a long time?

Princess - posted on 04/28/2013 ( 15 moms have responded )

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Hi, I've been blogging about my life as a tugboat captain's wife for about a year. My hubs goes out to sea for approximately 1/2 the year. If you'd like to connect, ask any questions, need a topic covered in my blog, please let me know.
Enchanted Seashells, Confessions of a Tugboat Captain's Wife
www.enchantedseashells.com

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Patricia - posted on 12/06/2014

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We are the same in my family. My husband has missed many holidays and we just celebrate before or after the holiday. I rather celebrate with him and our kids than on a specific date

Christal - posted on 09/29/2014

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Hello, my fiance is a tugboat engineer and he's gone every other week but right now he's been gone for a total of 3 weeks and won't be home until the 8th. This is the first time he's been gone this long and I haven't heard from him in 2 days. I'm so happy I found a group of tug wives like this:)

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Princess - posted on 12/12/2014

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Can I ask what area you're in? Unfortunately, the Merchant Marine doesn't have family/spouse support groups. I tried to start one in my area (SoCal) but there wasn't a whole lotta interest. I thought it would be nice to have quarterly meetings and meet each other for friendship/support. I always have special projects I save for the time hub is gone, and that's when I do most of my writing. When he's here, I focus all my time on him and our time together. This has worked pretty good for me, since I look forward to my own projects. I started taking photog classes too. I agree that communication is so important, it's tough when they only have a minute to check in and say hi or can only write a brief email or email is down when they're so far away. My advice would be to use the time without him to really focus on special activities with your daughter - stuff that you wouldn't normally do when your BF is there and try to think of this time as a gift to explore your own interests. I also volunteer to help animal rights groups, stopping pet stores that sell animals from puppy mills. When I feel like I'm giving back, it's not so lonely. But I agree, it's hard to be alone! Did this help? Here's my email if you'd like to chat more. urjentbiz@gmail.com

Morgan - posted on 12/11/2014

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Just need some advice from u ladies just moved in with my Bf of two years leaving my friends family to start this new life together along with my daughter . Long distance didn't bother me before bc I was surrounded with friends and family and work and school but now that I am in new location just doing school and staying home makes me miss him more and him being tugboat captain he can only talk when not busy bc it's not like desk job and he is tired alot but communication is everything for me . Advice please!!!!

Princess - posted on 12/06/2014

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Let me know if there are any topics you'd like me to cover on my blog, Enchanted Seashells, Confessions of a Tugboat Captain's Wife,www.enchantedseashells.com

Princess - posted on 12/06/2014

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How does everyone deal with their mariners being gone at the holidays? If it hasn't happened yet, it will. We manage it by saying it's just a day and celebrating either before or after. It's the being together that's important, not the day on a calendar.

Patricia - posted on 12/05/2014

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My husband has been living the tug boat life for 7 years. He started working a week gone, a week home. He has worked his way up to 3 gone and 3 gone. I know what you ladies are going through.

Michelle - posted on 09/04/2014

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I've been a tugboat wife for 9 years. I love this life! My man is gone 7 days, then home 7 days. I write a blog about the life we live. It's www.littleyellowtugboat.blogspot.com. I would love to connect with others living this life!

Enchanted Seashells, Confessions Of A Tugboat Captain's Wife - posted on 05/03/2014

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I try to look on the bright side of things; yes, it's sad to think you're living for the time they're back home, but my tugboat man says it makes him happy to think of what's waiting for him back home, so I try to look at it from his point of view too.

Patricia - posted on 05/03/2014

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Shanon you said it perfect- I feel like I live my life for him to come home. So sad

Princess - posted on 01/05/2014

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It's definitely tough. I only had a brother who was 7 years older than me so I was pretty much an only child and learned to play by myself and be happy alone, so it's not that bad for me. My son is older so I really have an empty nest. My advice is to embrace being alone and self sufficient and you'll be happier when he's home. Mine's been home for 2 months now, a really long stretch but he was gone a lot in 2013 so he deserves a long break. It's not ideal, but it really let us know that we are a team and can deal with stuff together, even being apart. Hope this helps a little. PS are you in CA?

Calley - posted on 12/16/2013

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My significant other is just starting his first trek into the Tugboat world tomorrow. They're gone for two weeks at a time, and then in the next half year he will be on the boat for three months at a time. I'm not used to not having him around, and if anyone has any advice what to do with myself in his absence, the comments would be most useful and kind. He comes from a military family and he is used to having to say goodbye to his father for long periods of time; I don't think he sees how much the change is already affecting me, and we've never been apart from each other much since we started living together. And frankly my cats aren't very good company. Please feel free to email me at crazycalley1991@gmail.com.

Shanon - posted on 11/02/2013

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I'm in Pennsylvania he works out of New York .I have searched for groups there isn't much out there .most of my family is on boats so there gone most of the time as well .he's only been on for about 2 years and I'm still not used to it,I miss him and it's so hard to explain to the kids, our youngest is four months old and he's only spent 12 days of her life home .sometimes I feel like my life has just turned into waiting for him to get home .my dad is a boat man so I know what the kids are going thru.

Princess - posted on 11/02/2013

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Hi, I totally understand and I'm not quite sure why there isn't a bigger group of us. It must be even more difficult to be the sole parent for 3 little ones! What part of the country are you in? Maybe we could create a mom's group in your area to share experiences, although in the mariner world, everyone comes from all over, hard to find people close by. Even in my area, SoCal, I don't hang out with other wives, I think everyone's hub leaves at different times on different vessels. I know when my guy is home, we spend all of our time together.

Shanon - posted on 11/02/2013

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Hi my hubby is an engineer on a tug he's gone now for a six week stretch and were halfway thru I'm surprised there is no group chats about this life we lead sometimes it's hard we are having a really hard time his relief has quit so even after this run he will only get a few days until he's back on I'm home with 3 young kids I guess I'm just looking for someone that understands -shanon

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