Augusta - posted on 04/28/2010 ( 58 moms have responded )
Augusta - posted on 04/28/2010 ( 58 moms have responded )
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Savannah - posted on 01/10/2013
12 years but we have been together for 5 years married for 1 year. We have a 4 year old 3 year old and 8 month old. I hate doing every thing on my own and feel like a single mom and if I knew it what I signed up for I would of rethought every thing but I love my kids and it's not fair on them.
Annie - posted on 06/12/2012
Yes, for 13 years. You are NOT alone!
Milla - posted on 05/28/2012
Danielle, it is hard doing it all on your own when hubby is away for so long, the girls need attention and you need attention, and were not counting out your husband too. It is not healthy to be away from family for such long periods of time, from any aspect that you look at it. Is there a reason why your beloved can't be home more often? Does he work for somebody? Maybe he should look into other options available to him within the industry that would allow for some hometime.
As much as paying for bills and making a living is important, not of less importance is spending time with family, especially children that are growing and in "NEED" of our attention and guidance. And also spouses could grow estranged if being apart for too long, too often. Although it may seem like the demand on our time is too high, sometimes it is. But that is just how life is, there are things, especially relationships that are too important to neglect. What we will invest in today, that we will reap in tomorrow. And family is most important investment we can make, it will pay off in the future.
My husband used to be dispatched by a company, and also being that were from SWFlorida, loads are harder to come by here, he would usually be out for average 3-4 weeks. We have 3 kids, daughter 8, two boys, 5 and 1. It was very hard on all of us!!! Now for the last couple months since he started to dispatch himself, he had been home on average once every 1-2 weeks, and it has been like heaven.
Sure hope Danielle, that all of you will persevere until a solution is found and your beloved husband and father could be home with all you more, that's probably what he wants more than anything too. May the Lord God bless your family with every good thing and help you to find a solution.
Danielle - posted on 05/27/2012
Mine has been since december now and its hard, weve had him home a total of 12 days since and it really sucks, we have 3 girls ages 10,7,4. I have moments where I hate it and cant stand it, then again happy and supportive of him because its just as hard on him and the bills get paid, I'am now getting used to it, but christmas, new years, valentines day, easter..etc spent apart its not always fun, I try to keep busy as best as I can, try not to get depressed or upset, spend alot of time with the kids doing what we can and gardening, its nice to know your not the only one out there
Minetta - posted on 05/21/2012
yes i do..my husband has been an otr driver for 6 yrs and before we had children he drove otr and I was ok with it in the beginning. I still am however there are days and nights that he is gone that I really need him here. He is usually home everynight now but when he is gone for a few days the kids and I get our own groove and when he gets home of course he dont know our routine and we all have to readjust to everyone again. It makes times hard and takes time to get use to.
Amy - posted on 05/01/2012
i do for 6 yrs now
Sarah - posted on 08/25/2011
My husband decided to quit his job in retail and become a truck driver when I was 8 months pregnant. I'm lucky he happened to be home when I delivered. Mason is only 5 months now, and I absolutely hate my husband being gone all of the time. I feel like he is missing out on every aspect of our baby's life and I miss my husband like crazy. I guess I should be lucky he isn't gone for weeks at a time, he leaves Monday early morning and gets home Friday evening. I guess I'm still mad at him too for deciding to make this major change weeks before our first child was born. I am very much in love with him, but the more I have to be a "single, working mother", the more resentful I get. It's not really getting any easier for me.
Jessica - posted on 07/13/2011
I do! We own our own truck and trailer and the business too! DH has had his CDL since he turned 18 and has driven for other's here and there before we started the company in March 2011.
Shelina - posted on 06/29/2011
i do and i hate it he just started and it really sucks
Sara - posted on 12/16/2010
My hubby has been for 15 years....
Michelle - posted on 10/07/2010
Teri you really seem like you have found a way to cope. Keep it up. If you want to talk you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Hope to here from you. Michelle
Teri - posted on 10/06/2010
My husband has been driving for about 4 months now. We'll be married 13 years this month, and we have 3 boys, ages 10, 9, & 7.
My hubby is typically out 2 weeks, home 2 days, but sometimes its out 3, home 3. This is one of those weeks. I'm trying to focus on the blessing of having 3 days of him home and it's helping me.
We live in California and our families live in Oregon & Washington, so we don't have family to rely on.
This is really tough. I've had to really step out of myself to become a stronger me.
Michaela Renee - posted on 08/16/2010
yes honey, i have been a trucker's wife for 20 years...
Stephanie - posted on 08/12/2010
I do.We made the choice for him to do it after we had our daughter and wanted a better life for us.
Milla - posted on 06/08/2010
Thanks Sandy! I like that last line, "You are strong, your a truckers wife, you have to be!" Only a truckers wife would know!!! =) When I was young and single, met my hubby never in my wildest dream have I thought that this is what it means to be a truckers wife! So, silly how when we love, we don't notice any negatives, we kind of loose our head even to the reality and how it's gonna be. =) One day 5 few years into the marriage with kids now, I was gonna ask God why/how I ended up with a trucker? And God simply asked me in return, well, wasnt he a trucker when you married him???? Taaa daaaaa!!! Wake up calll?!??!? Yes it was. =)) And here we are, nine years later, 2 kids (Angelina 6, Nicholas 3, baby #3 on the way) hubby is still trucking, although now like never before he is thinking of ways how to get off trucking and be here for and with the family, even to the point of moving to a larger city, another state so that he can be home, he knows I need the help. I'm glad kids are older, and they have volunteered to help once baby is here, so thats good =))
Yes I do have a great church family, they are wonderful, and I'm sure that if I said anything, they would come and help. I was able to get by on my own, until now, not having any family here, except hubby would take some weeks off work to be home once baby arrives. Well, I have had the luxury of young cousins, teenagers to come and play with my kids, and help out with some minor things, which is a great help. Now they've gotten older, they haven't been around much, but I've been blessed to have my sis with her children 10 and 8, and my mom moving here and living here the last year, It's been great having them here, they've been soo much help. Too bad they are thinking of moving back out of florida, but then so are we, hopefully we will move somwhere together so that we can be there for each other.
Hubby came home today, will be here probably through the weekend. Kids have been hogging him, well probably have to get away one evening just the 2 of us, cuz when they are around daddy belongs to them.
Next week we plan on going on the road with daddy for a couple weeks, adventurous, yeaahh. We usually do this e very summer, and just go visit family and friends all over. Friends inMinnesota, also thats where hubbys co is basd out of, then in laws in seattle, wa, and my family in CA. Last year we were on the road for like 5 weeks, it was fabulous, went camping in CA for a few days with my aunt and her family, saw bears, swam in a beautiful mountain lake, looking forward to doing that this year too.
Thanks for the encouragement Sandy, we will just take things as they come. Usually the first trimester, and towards the end of the term is hardest for me, in the middle I fair very well, so we will just work it as need be. I've got a great hubby, he is a"Family Man". Loves me, kids, he's excited about baby, so I just need to be thankful to God for my family. And I know that some years down the road i will never regret this. We both have 4 other sibling, and know what a blessing it is to have a large family, don't want to deprive our kids of the love of brothers and sisters, although it is a sacrifice, it is well worth it!!=))
Sandra - posted on 06/08/2010
I had to go back and look at your profile to see how old yuor kids/babies were, OMGosh!! Bless your heart!!! I remember when I was pregnant with my son(13) while my daughter(15) ran wild and she was a very wild 2y/d. At 4months into the pregnancy I had to go to work. That boy was so big everyone thought I was due any day! And I was so tired!
That had to be the most draining time of my life, but I brought me the best things in my life! Focus on that, in about 5 years they'll all be in school, going potty by themselves and talking! Oh wait talking can be ummm... embarassing at times! My point is this will pass and when you look back you'll see it went so fast! Don't sweat the small stuff, if it won't matter a 100 years from now, don't sweat it.
When the kids nap, you nap! Naps are awesome! Ask for help and don't be ashamed or afraid to ask! I love helping people and most of the time I'm just waiting to be asked! You sound like you have a church family that would be there in a minute if they knew you needed help. Someone has been there, where you are now, and someone gave them a hand. We are all Moms and we all know what it's like! You are strong, your a truckers wife, you have to be!
Milla - posted on 06/07/2010
I have not been very productive lately, now about 7 weeks pregnant and can hardly believe what effect it is having on me already. As usual though, first trimester is probably hardest for me, my energy is totally drained, I feel like a wrung out rag. Can't wait for hubby to get home and spend time with kids so I can get some rest and quiet, cuz I feel like thats all i need at this time. Come january( thats when baby is due)! =)) Can't wait to feel like myself again, I am usually like the energizer bunny, and now.......pluuufffffppp
Milla - posted on 06/07/2010
Sandy, you go girl. After reading your post i am just like speechless. Sounds like you and hubby are having a great time and doing a great job! Keep up the good work! You sounds like the get it done type, and that is awesome, it wouldnt do any good to sit around moping =)). Your kids are blessed to have such loving, caring and giving parents. What a great example you are to them.
Having driven team with my hubby for a while, I know what it's like driving, and I've seen quite a bit of what can happen, so just like you everytime my hubby leaves, kids and I pray for God to keep watch over him and bring him home safely, which He has been doing and we are so greatful.
Keep on keeping on girls, this will payoff if it hasn't yet! =) Great is th reward for those who are faithful till the end!
Sandra - posted on 06/07/2010
Hi I am Sandy, My husband Terry, aka, the most handsome truck driver alive, is OTR! This is most definatly a life that most folks just don't understand. Terry hauls nothing but haz-mat, he's been driving for 26years, we have been married 6 1/2! We have 7 kids combined he has 3 boys, I have 2 girls and 1 boy and we have 1 girl together. The younger 3 are here at our home 15, 13 & 6y/ds, a 19y/d a few minutes away, 21 & 18y/d 2hrs away and the oldest 28, in south LA. So we have 7, but they are not here all at once, all the time! The good Lord knows what I can handle! My present occupation is domestic Goddess. My CB handle is "Supermom" & yes I have one in my car!! Terry starts his run on Sundays from Dallas, to New Jersey Tuesday morning, then to Port Authur, Texas Friday morning and back to Dallas Friday afternoon. I honestly don't know how he does this.
I was reading these post and honestly I have to thank God for my husband and all he does. He has some really good friends and a son, in south LA, he hangs out with them Thursdays before he delivers Friday. That's where he's from. When he gets home if there is a half a chance that he can get here in time to pick up the kids from school, he'll give it all he's got. Cause that little one gets so excited that her Daddy's picking her up! When he's home he's all about home! He wouldn't go anywhere with out us. The hardest part for us, is to find time for just us. We have started to make a point, once a quarter, getting away just the 2 of us! This has been really good for us!
Thank God for Cell phones and mobile to mobile minutes, we talk all the time. He has a headset and I have a bluetooth. Holding on to cell phone driving a car is NOT safe, TEXTING is extremely Dangerous! Girl go to Walmart get him a headset $16.99, it's got boom on the mic and works awesome. Tell that man to talk to you! It keeps us connected, it keeps him connected to home. It is not a leash, or you tracking him, it's connection!!
Durring the week I am all about the kids and the house or our home. When he comes home I want it to be absolutly perfect. The house is clean, really clean! When he pulls up to the house, the outside so beautiful it's breath taking. The kids are clean, feed and happy! This is what I want him to come home to and I wear myself out doing it! I want him to know that I love and appreciate all he does for us. But don't think he always appreciates my efforts. I think he just forgets to say it! I did a major clean on his truck Satuday and it wasn't till this morning that he said thank you.
If I'm not doing that I'm doing that I am running kids everywhere, I volenteer alot with the youth in our church, I have teenagers at the house, lots of them, all the time! It's great, I love it!! Now that summer it here I feel guily cause I'm at the pool playing, while he's out there dealing with the traffic.
I don't know how to deal with that.
Everytime that truck rolls out the drive I pray and ask the Lord to keep 18 angels around him always to protect him, keep him safe, and bring him back home. Ps 91:11 But as I walk in to the dentist office on a Tuesday, I catch a news clip of a fatality accident involving 18 wheeler with a hazmat load in New Jersey. My heart sinks down into my stomach and I'm calling him from the dentist chair just to make sure it's not him. I watch the national weather everyday especially in the winter. If I can't reach him I worry. I've never actualy driven a truck, but I spent a month out there with him. I know what can happen so quickly. Where is my faith??
Milla - posted on 06/06/2010
Hi Molly, glad you found us =) How is life?
Molly - posted on 06/06/2010
my husband is a otr truck driver
Milla - posted on 06/03/2010
Welcome to the club Lena! =) Having a dedicated run should be nice, his trips will be preplanned, runs usually on the same schedule, which will make it easier for you guys to plan things as a family! Where as, us living in Florida makes it very hard to plan something, as work is always unpredictable. Coming and leaving Florida is always a big deal, tough state to live in being a trucker, Due to not so many loads coming out of here, hubby is usually out an average of 3 weeks. Hoping to change that in the future, probably by moving out of state, to a bigger city with more opportunity and options. Good luck to you!
Evelena - posted on 06/03/2010
Hi my name is Lena and I have a fiancée that is a Truck driver and he has been driving almost 6 years now. He is soon going to take a dedicated route but I am still unsure exactly how much time he is going to be able to spend at home.
Lee_michelle23 - posted on 05/31/2010
my husband has been driving for 14 years i should be used to it by now but some moments are kind of rough especially with my son getting older
Milla - posted on 05/31/2010
That's right Stephanie, it's a comforting thing to know somebody out there is going through the same thing you are! =) We are here and so are you and we will all make it!!! =)
Stephanie, how long your hubby been trucking?
Lee_michelle23 - posted on 05/30/2010
i am so glad to know that you guys are out there and im not alone
Milla - posted on 05/29/2010
Thank you Danielle! We are excited! Both my hubby and I had 4 other siblings, so 5 kids in each family and so for us to have only 2 would feel like we are missing out, and especially our children. How can we deprive them from experiencing and having the love of brothers and sisters to accompany them in life. It's a beutiful thing! Yes it is a sacrifice! But it is worth it! =))
Danielle - posted on 05/28/2010
Milla - posted on 05/28/2010
More power to you gals, doesn't it feel good to know that you are not alone in this, to know that there is someone out there who is going through the same thing, they can relate, they can understand where you are coming from, they are doing it! Doesnt' that encourage you, that you can do it, you can get through this! You will survive and you can thrive, it depends on how or what you set your mind to!
More power to you ladies!
Milla - posted on 05/28/2010
Go Lori! I can totallly relate to most of what you are saying there were times when I/ we did what you are talking about and others doing right now! Had I not driven team with my hubby before we had kids I would not have known everything that he has to deal with, but having had that experience I know what it's like to deal with alll the different aspects of the business! And holding up the fort while the hubby is gone. This is hitting really close to home for me, I have more responsibility on the way having just found out that we are expecting, we did want another baby just not now, it's coming a little too soon but there is no changing that =), so I will get used to this and learn to live with it. Having to raise the kids on my own is whats hard, told my hubby and he was both shocked and excited he has been wanting this very much, He is a great dad when he is home especially, you know what i mean??!!! =) We are just hooping that hubby will be able to stay home somehow, even if we have to move to an area or a place which would offer more job options for truck drivers especially now with a baby on the way, I will need all the help I can get. Our 6 year old daughter when told about the news vollunteered to help with everything that she can, that is good news for me =), and as for her 3 year old brother, well, he''ll have to be supervised cuz he said he will give the baby candy =)
We can do it, and we must, simply because it must be done just like you said Lori!
Dianne - posted on 05/24/2010
My husband just started driving about a month ago because he had to make a job change after being unemployed for a long while. I thought I would be miserable at first and I was but as the weeks have gone by it is not as bad as I thought it would be. We have four little boys together and he is the love of my life. I do get lonely and I miss him terribly but I know he is doing this so our family can have a better life. I work full time and that helps to keep my mind off him being gone sometimes until I go home at night anyway! He calls me every chance he gets everyday and he gets home on Friday or Saturday and leaves back out on Sunday or Monday. If anyone wants to talk and get to know each other email me at email@example.com.
Lori - posted on 05/19/2010
For some reason I thought driving a truck would be cool, the idea of all the places you would see... I left out all the hard work, dealing with the shippers and receivers, dealing with the companies and dispatchers, oh and don't forget all the drivers on the road that detest big trucks. Sometimes I wonder if they realize just about everything they own was, at one time, on/in the back of one of those big trucks. Not many people know how much disrespect the drivers deal with. There are times when I walk away from conversations that are discussing the trucking industry or an injustice they think the trucking industry is causing them. I may not be able to keep things in check. Some of these conversation make me really angry.
My husband has been an OTR driver since before I met him. He was given is Class A license on Sept. 11, 2001 and has been driving OTR ever since. It is not easy and there are many days that I wish he was home, even a few that I am glad he is not.
I feel like I know the frustrations from all sides. When I met my husband I was a receiver at a large store, he was a delivery guy. (I know what he has to deal with when it come to receivers.) I have been the household bookkeeper for years and have had to deal with the companies when he didn't get paid like he was supposed to. (Many of them don't want to talk to me again!) A couple of years ago he bought his own truck and became an owner-operator. Now I also keep the books for the truck and pay all the bills. Last year he decided to switch companies, now I am also his dispatcher. This means that I also have to keep up-to-date on all the changes the U.S. Government is trying to impose. One of which is the $2500 fine if you are caught texting or reading a text while driving a commercial vehicle. (Autumn- make sure that your husband knows this, maybe he will start calling more often.)
Then there is the fact that our son will be 2 on the 4th of July. He is keeping me extra busy, he is a mover and shaker!
There are many days when I long for an adult conversation or someone to watch our son so I can take a bath ALONE. I do get to talk to my husband almost everyday and that is nice but it is not always about something other than trucking.
If we got paid for everything we do while our husbands are gone, we would be millionaires by now. Keep house, pay bills, raise the kid(s), mow the yard, do maintenance on everything involved with the house and yard, somewhere we find time to cook dinner, help with homework, and play.
We do what we have to when we have because that is the way it is. We are rarely given more than we can handle. We will make it through because we can!
Becky - posted on 05/18/2010
My husband works for UPS and is gone over the road all the time, I miss him sooo much but that just makes things so much better when he come home... I LOVE SPENDING TIME WITH MY BABY... I LOVE YOU MICHAEL...
Milla - posted on 05/11/2010
Another thing....wisdom....everyone needs wisdom...especially us mothers who are raising our children on our own most of the time need wisdom. Also to know how to deal with our wonderful husbands....this is one of my constant prayers is for God to give me wisdom, and God actually says this about wisdom:
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
Need some wisdom? Ask God and He will give it to you.
Have you ever heard of King Solomon? He was the wisest, richest man who ever lived! The reason being is that when he became king, he did not ask God for riches, and welath and power, no. This was his prayer which God honored and blessed him more than anyother.
"At Gibeon the LORD appeared to Solomon during the night in a dream, and God said, "Ask for whatever you want me to give you."
6 Solomon answered, "You have shown great kindness to your servant, my father David, because he was faithful to you and righteous and upright in heart. You have continued this great kindness to him and have given him a son to sit on his throne this very day.
7 "Now, O LORD my God, you have made your servant king in place of my father David. But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties. 8 Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people, too numerous to count or number. 9 So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?"
10 The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this. 11 So God said to him, "Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, 12 I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be. 13 Moreover, I will give you what you have not asked for—both riches and honor—so that in your lifetime you will have no equal among kings. 14 And if you walk in my ways and obey my statutes and commands as David your father did, I will give you a long life." 15 Then Solomon awoke—and he realized it had been a dream. "
Wisdom and power to you MAMAS! =)
Remember you don't Get Good to Get God-You Get God To Get Good!!!! =))
Milla - posted on 05/11/2010
Autumn and Salla, stay strong do not give up in trying to convey your feelings and experiences with your husbands, just like Danielle suggested too. I have found that beneath all that manly pride and sometime what may seem as hardheartedness is a gentle, loving caring, vulnerable man who longs to be respected, and loved. I've learned that the men that tend to come across as mucho, tough ego kind of guys, they usually have insecurities and that might cause them to get offensive and close off sometimes. Open communication about everything should help to find a release from those anxieties and worries. Thankfully, my hubby and I have a great relationship, we talk about everything, he shares things with me that he struggles with, I can share with him, and knowing each others inner worries, strenghths etc....we can encourage one another. So I would urge you ladies just to be patient, respect your husbands. Here in this culture, there is not much respect for anyone anymore, and that is sad. Sometimes we demand respect without giving it. It has to be GIVE then TAKE! At the core of a mans being he longs for RESPECT from his wife! He needs her support and encouragement! At the core of a womans being we long to be LOVED, accepted and cherished. We-women long to feel secure! Peace and harmony in the home depends A LOT on the woman, The woman is the HEART of the home. All of you probably notice how the men don't usually like to dwell on negative things and problems very much, there is an urge to flee them sometimes. That's because they get over those things pretty fast, and because women are more emotional, it takes us longer to recover. But we always need to strive to keep a good atmosphere in the home, one that the kids and huby would feel secure, loved and welcomed in. I believe in what the bible says for us wives, applying those principles will help to bring health and wellbeing to our marriage. Wanted to share with you a few verses to ponder about:
"A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones."
"He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD."
"Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD."
"A foolish son is his father's ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping."
"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife."
"Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife."
"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies."
"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down."
My wish and prayer is for us women not to be the quarrelsome women that our husbands would rather live without,....but to be the wise women who will build our homes, build up our husbands and our children and we will see a great return! Although sometimes it may seem like all we do is give, give and give! And sometimes it may take that to get through the hardened heart of an individual, but LOVE is the force that has the power to break through to even the hardest of hearts!
May the Lord grace you all with His presence in your hearts, in your homes and in your lives! ♥♥♥ Peace Out! =))
Danielle - posted on 05/11/2010
:) I'm sure he will too Autumn, guys just tend to be a little slow at times, lol.
Danielle - posted on 05/11/2010
Hi Salla Bella,
I can understand where you would feel frustrated. With being gone most of the time, home time with family is essential.
I think it is extrememly important especially as kids get older.
I know with us, we put that first. Maybe you can find a compromise with him, and tell him to plan an outing with his friends in advance, every other month, but not every time that he comes home. Tell him you know it is important that he spends time with his friends, but that should be second to you and his daughter. Good luck to you, I hope you can find a way to work through this difficulty. :)
Autumn - posted on 05/11/2010
Thanks I'm sure one of these days he'll understand I'll just keep trying and keep texting.
Danielle - posted on 05/11/2010
I am sorry to hear your husband does not like to talk very much while on the road. I have yet to understand the text craze. I can understand how that would be difficult. I do not have that problem with mine, he calls me several times a day, in fact I think we talk more than some people who see their husbands every day.
Honesty is important in a marriage, and telling how this makes yu feel I think is important, tell him you understand he may be tired, and not want to get into a long involved conversation, but just calling to say goodnight to you and is all you'd like.
Maybe it somehow makes things easier for him to be out there if he doesn't actually hear you saying how much he's missed, I don't know, sometimes guys have weird ways of dealing with things. For awhile, mine would get himself in a real ticked off mood before he left, he said it made leaving easier. I talked to him about it, and said but is that really the way you want to leave us, what if something were to happen, and that was the way you left? He thought about it, and decided I was right, it was not a very good way to leave. Just keep trying to convey how you feel, and find a compromise. Good luck to you!
Autumn - posted on 05/11/2010
Hi ladies, I was wondering if any of you have husbands who prefer to text than talk? My husband isn't much of a talker and when he started driving he was glas he didn't have to deal with people every day. I text him every day just to remind him I love him, but I only hear from him once or twice a week while he's gone. It makes it a little harder at times, because I want to hear his voice but he doesn't like to talk. I settle for the texts, but I wish it was more often. I've tried to tell him and he doesn't get it. Any advice?
Danielle - posted on 05/11/2010
Just want to say hope all of you mothers had a lovely mothers day, even if your hubby was away. Yes, Milla you're right, there are successful marriages even though it can be hard at times, and God does give us the strength to get through what we need to. I want to share something my husband told me a few months back.
He had went into a truck stop to get his coffee, etc... and an older woman who worked there looked at him and said you sure look worn out. At this time my husband was having a really bad week, and he said yeah, it's been rough lately, just spinning my wheels for nothing anymore. He is a owner op, and if anyone of yours is, you'll understand the rate drops, etc... that they've felt over the past year. Anyway, they had a few more words, my husband seeming withdrawn, and she told him he had that same look her husband did right before he died. My husband, laughed and said gee thanks. She said "No, what I mean is, I can tell you are homesick and want to be home with your family." My husband agreed. The older woman continued telling him that being a truckers wife, as she was, was always hard on her, but she never truly realized how hard it was on her husband too, because he would keep his feelings inside, until he died. He had been training another driver, and had went to sleep in the bunk, unfortunately the drvier had an accident, and sadly her husband was killed. When they cleaned out the truck, they had found a box in the back, and in this box were hundreds of letters that he would write to her when he was feeling lonely, only he had kept them,and never showed them to her. This made me cry, I thought how sad. I guess the thing I took from it was that, we must talk to our spouse's and let them know how we feel, even when it's sad and lonely because chances are they are feeling that way to. Let them know we love them every day, because time can be short.
Make the most of the time you do have together. I think long distance relationships are the strongest ones there are. I know people who have their husbands home every night and don't really talk for days, that amazes me. Anyway, I just want to say we are all extremely strong women, and probably take the time to cheerish the moments we do have with our husbands more because we have so few of them.
Milla, it was funny to hear you talk of your husband getting a mortorcycle, mine did the same thing last year. He had gotten a Harley, and even had a specail more comfortable seat made for me. I got a helmet with rhinestones, lol. We unfortunately, had to sell the bike, but I know we'll get another one later.
God bless all of you, and keep strong! :)
Autumn - posted on 05/10/2010
My husband has been OTR since a month before our wedding. We're about to hit our second annivessary and it works well for us. He's home 3-6 days a month at a time, and it gets really lonely. I have 50/50 custody of my daughter with my ex and it's difficult. It means I'm on my own a lot and planning to keep mayself from getting depressed. My dog is getting accostume to the quilting and not trying to play with my yran when I knit. My husband and I are trying to get pregnant with another child, and it'll be interesting since my daughter will be nine this year. She's been wanting a little sister for years now and so we'll see what happens. Church, and the other moms from my daughter's dance class are my saving graces. I am so lucky to have the people in my life that I do. Both of our famlies are close to me and my father-in-law has been OTR all of my husband's life. It helps to have the tips from my mother-in-law too. I figure that my husband's being gone most of the time helps us not argue over the little things so much. It's always sad for me when he leaves like an hour and a half ago, but I'm starting to get used to it. It takes longer for some than others to get used to it, but good friends and family helpp more than you know.
Angela - posted on 05/09/2010
Yep, mine is. He's been driving a truck since he got out of the army in 2000. I hate it, he misses everything :( We have three children, two girls that are 6 and almost 8 and one boy that just turned two. I also work full time as a nurse. My husband is typically gone 3 weeks and home for a week. I dont know what a stress free day feels like anymore!
Galina - posted on 05/07/2010
yeah.... it is hard.... we are considering moving to cheaper place and both of us working just for him to be home... but that is hard to also!! i just rented out a room just so he can be home a little longer!
Salla - posted on 05/06/2010
It's hard, but i think a lot of how smoothly things go depends on how the relationship is when you're both home..i really hate that hubby's gone so often/long, but what i hate more is the little time he spends with our baby when he's home. Out of the 3 days he's home after being out for 2-3 days, he spends a day delivering, the next day haggling his check, then he goes out with his buddies. On the last day, he spends a couple hrs with her then goes out to start picking up again! I'm so tired of it. And every time i bring it up, he says he's just working hard for US. And i say, I'd rather he takes a pay cut & is home a lil longer, but he never does... I'm just so frustrated! Sorry for the vent. I just saw the post & thot...I'm not alone.
Galina - posted on 05/06/2010
Hi!! Mine is and i see him a few days a month... very hard but you get used to it....
Milla - posted on 05/04/2010
Michelle, what are you studying? It's nice to have a mother who lives nearby, isn't it? I know how it is with out her nearby and having her near. Although my mom and I don't have the best relationship, we disagree on a lot of things and she likes to bring them up,. seems like all the time, I try to avoid them. Still it's nice to have her here, know she's near, see her sometimes, and for the kids to have a grandma.
My mom just moved here 1 year ago this summer, so we are happy to have her.
Milla - posted on 05/04/2010
I should say that our marriage is a testimony of God's Grace on our lives. We've been married 9 years, besides the fact that we don't get to spend as much time together as we'd like, we are happy with each other and our lives. We've been able to keep our marriage pure and clean before God first of all and before each other. That we find as such a blessing in our lives, and we give all the credit to God who gives us the strength to do that. If I might sound religious, then I am not in a sense that one might be used to. But we do live according to God's standards and His laws, and that we believe is why we have been blessed with a wonderful family.
Although it is challenging at times living life the way we do, with a daddy/ hubby who is a trucker gone for average of 3 weeks, it is possible. I have women tell me all the time, " I don't know how you do it, I could never do that, be away from my hubby for so long." To that I answer, I can do it first of all because this is the way things are right now, and I have no other choice. Second is because God knows the situation we are in and gives us the grace/strength to do it. You don't know how because you don't need it, your situation is different.
We know plenty of couples where the husbands are truck trivers, owner ops., and they have wonderful relationships with their spouses and families. Although hard, it is possible to be happy even with a hubby/daddy that is OTR driver.
Danielle, I too was thinking about finding a group like this but couldnt think of where, so I am really glad to find you guys.
What you said about hubby and not having much to talk about, see you are not alone =). We just have to recognize these loopholes, and work on fixing them. Find hobbies, things that you can do together which will help to bring the two of you together, also try to take interest in each others hobbies as much as possible, when we do that it tells the other person that you care and in return opens them up to embracing your interests and showing you the attention that you need.
My hubby has been wanting a motorcycle ever since I can remember, so I supported him in that, recently he bought one, just today pased inspection on it, and from the beginning he said that it's not just for him-as I thought, but he made sure that I understood he wants me to be active with him in it, and I thought of it and decided why not, this will help us to find common denominators that wil bring us closer. And you know what was the first thing he bought for the bike---bought me a helmet, grey/pink with butterflies....=)) how cute is that!
Well, my hubby is home now so I best run and enjoy our time together, will keep in touch.
Michelle - posted on 05/04/2010
And in return Danielle, we are definitely glad to have found you to talk to. How was your day? Mine was good. I did a lot of studying and when my mom got home from work we went over and ate dinner with her, went for a walk and now my son is in the shower. Talk to you soon.
Danielle - posted on 05/04/2010
That is so true about the talking, and there's only so much about trucking I feel like talking about.:) After the kids updates, etc...it
does sometimes become difficult. I have even found that to be the case if we go to dinner alone, I now tell my husband let's actively do something we can talk about, then go eat.
Faith also helps a great deal when it gets tough. You are right about that, and it keeps you strong. There are not many that survive the life of a trucker. In fact, I was searching once before for a site for truckers wives, and only found one that was extremely negative. They talkled about how much their husbands were out there cheating, etc.... Not a very helpful site that I wanted to take part of. So, I am very happy to have found all of you wonderful moms to talk to.:)