Going out of my mind with doubt!

Rabaab - posted on 04/29/2009

yeah i know how you feel. we me it is the same. My hubby travels like say 1-2 weeks of the month. when he is back from work, he spends more time with my kids then with me. He wants to go and meet his friends which more or less i have to tag along with the kids. I feel that he does not spend enough time with me . I think you just have to be patient and tell him to spend more time with you..

Pam - posted on 04/28/2009

Thank you Dawn, I will certainly check into that book. (when I get time) Sorry I have not been on as much of late. My 13 yr old has a 40 plus game schedule for baseball and without my husband home practice and games fall on my shoulder. I am in the wee hours of Wed. morning and I have had baseball since Sunday afternoon without a break. Game Wed. night, Fri. night and a double header on Saturday to complete my week. I am happy to report that on Friday I am taking my son to the game and my other son to work and then heading out for some "me" time to catch up with old friends. I have informed my husband he needs to be home and on pick up duty. Keeping my fingers crossed that I will not be disappointed and have to cancel at the last minute to accomodate his schedule. Thanks everyone for comments and suggestions.



I should clear up that I am very thankful for my husband. I do live in a wonderful home and even though I really do miss working outside of the home at times I am very fortunate to be able to stay home.

Michelle - posted on 04/28/2009

Quoting Pam:

I know he is under tremendous pressure with work and the last thing I want to do is add to it you know.

That's very considerate of you!  But bear in mind, you're under a tremendous amount of pressure and by keeping your thoughts and feelings inside, you are adding to it!  At least he'll have a better understanding of what's up on your end, even if he doesn't try to resolve anything.

Vivienne - posted on 04/28/2009

Is there any positives? Is he making money to support his family? When he gets back you need to forget house work and the house and do family things. In saying that my husband has been working away for the past 6 years. Sometimes I hate him for that...I get no time off, the boys are older now. I just try and focus on the good things, but boy, it was tough..

Dawn - posted on 04/05/2009

I know how you feel except my husband is bipolar and away all the time. When he comes home he's moody and miserable. I basically raise 3 kids on my own and don't know what to say when they want their Dad. I resent his time away and his mood when he gets home. I am so tired of dealing with his moods and his attitude that we should all be grateful when he's home even though he does nothing.
Try talking to him. At least he is happy to spend time with the kids. Maybe he just needs to know that you need him too.
For your son. I bought an awesome book called "Loving someone with bi-polar". It is practical and deals with how to handle the illness as a part of life. Good luck. My heart and prayers are with you.

Pam - posted on 04/02/2009

I guess that was what I was afraid of doing. I don't want him to see it as nagging or put more strain on him. I know he is under tremendous pressure with work and the last thing I want to do is add to it you know. I will try to talk to him this weekend. We are actually taking the boys down to see my folks for spring break. More like a "family" break, much needed. Maybe while he is nice and relaxed I will approach the subject. Thank you.

Jessie - posted on 03/31/2009

i feel your pain pam, my DH is alot like this, all the fun stuff... this is something that i would really talk to him about... i felt this way last year and for ages i was beating myself up over it... then I finally talked to DH about it and explained how i was feeling. being careful not to make it his fault... I told him i would appreciate some time with him too (he was too busy seeing his friends and family) and i told him that this was putting a strain on me...

he was a bit nasty about it at first saying that he needs to see his friends too, and i just kept reminding him that I was his family... he now only spends one night "out with the boys" and we have a date night or some us time, while he is home... I also make sure that he and our daughter have some special daddy time (gives me a chance to have some me time too)

pam, if you start resenting things then it becomes a down hill spiral, and this is not a good thing to start... I hope that you work out what it best for you, i hope that my experience can help you along your way...