he's eating out and socialising and i'm at home eating a cold dinner

Karina - posted on 01/06/2009 ( 59 moms have responded )

179

14

38

does anyone else feel resentment towards their husband when they come home?



he comes home from a conference and tells me about the nights at the bar or about the dinners hosted by such and such and i have been at home negotiating with a three year old who wont eat and who thinks everytime the phone rings...is it daddy?



sometimes i dont want to here about the stories when he gets home.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jackie - posted on 01/31/2009

1

14

0

I absolutely do..... I thought it was just me!!! Good to know someone out there feels the same way. My husband also promises to call and forgets while out having dinner and or out at the bar. Thats kind of hard to explain..... I have a 7 and 8 year old home .... It's seems like sometimes we don't matter !!!! And the best oh his job is more important than mine .... Stand Strong !!!

Dianna - posted on 01/27/2009

2

0

0

It has taken years for my husband to understand that I really don't want to hear about all the fabulous food and great places he went while he was gone, because I was home eating a bologna sandwich. Finally years later he gets that I am sooo tired when he gets home because I can't sleep while he is away plus all of the parenting duties fall to me while he is gone that I am  as tired as he is!  I understand that he needs to travel for me to live the life I do, but I don't need to hear about it. He doesn't volunteer the information anymore unless I ask!

Gayle - posted on 01/22/2009

10

3

1

I am glad to hear all of this. I am with you ladies on this "Husband that travels". I have four kids at home, 10, 7, 5, 3. What has helped with me.... four times now I have traveled with him, Florida, Hawaii, Vegas and London. I have had to beg and beg on grandparents and even hired a stay at home sitter for 3 night and 4 days for $500. It was well worth it. I made those trips "very very" ;) exciting for him. We still talk about those trips when it has been years ago. It has helped with the lonely nights.

Also doing things for "YOU". Ive been working out at a gym, kids go in a child care room. I did a 5k run and going to do a 8k in March. Two of my kids are going to do the fun run. I hire a baby sitter for a night ($25, 5 hrs) and go "girls night out ". Ive got plans to take a hip hop class, skiing, going to rock climbing gym and a canoe/kayaking race and other things this summer with the kids. I don't expect him to join me on any of these plans but if he can that's GREAT!.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

59 Comments

View replies by

Shelly - posted on 01/31/2009

4

6

0

Quoting Kim Marie Ford:



Quoting Shelly:




Kim








That is funny about peeing by yourself.  My kid are now 16 and 13.  When they come home from school the only time they want to talk to me is if I'm on the toilet.  Not to mention that our new dog is never far from my side, so when I'm in the bathroom he is too.










So you mean I may never pee by myself again!!! LOL





I think when the kids go to college you'll have the bathroom to yourself.  Maybe?

Tiffany - posted on 01/31/2009

40

46

9

This was a conversation I really need to find and read - it covered everything I've been trying to get across to my husband for 2 years now! I made him read the postings so he could understand that it wasn't just me - it's happening to other moms!

I spent 6 months with him in Alabama 3 to 5 days a week and my son was just 8 months old at the time. I have no family in the area - they are at least an hour away and couldn't be bothered helping out or even offering to help. We were new to this area as well, so there weren't any friends to help out too. It's a rough go on your own and it was hard to communicate that to my husband. I don't think he has ever realized how much work it was - and I was working at the time as well. I went through teething, pneumonia, colds, snotty noses, etc. on my own. But, I also got to see my son take his first steps and surprise Daddy when he got home. I felt bad for all the things he missed out on and still misses out on. He doesn't travel as much, but can be gone for almost 3 weeks at a time. My son is almost 2 now and things are a little easier.

Thanks to all you ladies who posted here - you helped me out alot! (and my husband too!)

Dianna - posted on 01/27/2009

2

0

0

Quoting Kim Marie Ford:



Quoting Shelly:




Kim








That is funny about peeing by yourself.  My kid are now 16 and 13.  When they come home from school the only time they want to talk to me is if I'm on the toilet.  Not to mention that our new dog is never far from my side, so when I'm in the bathroom he is too.










So you mean I may never pee by myself again!!! LOL






NEVER! LOL

Kim Marie Ford - posted on 01/27/2009

14

20

0

Quoting Shelly:



Kim






That is funny about peeing by yourself.  My kid are now 16 and 13.  When they come home from school the only time they want to talk to me is if I'm on the toilet.  Not to mention that our new dog is never far from my side, so when I'm in the bathroom he is too.






So you mean I may never pee by myself again!!! LOL

[deleted account]

I never feel resentment. I may be a tinge jealous when he works in Florida while it's the dead of winter in Chicago, but I don't get mad about it. He knows that as soon as he arrives home, the responsibility of our 3.5 year old solely rests on him. He completely understands the psychological torture I go through being the sole provider for our son when he's gone, and he is quite sympathetic to my plight. He wouldn't dare call me from a bar after he's been drinking because he chooses not to frequent them, given they're such a ridiculous waste of money. And if I ever did feel resentment, then I'd schedule my own getaway or girls' night out on a regular basis when he was certain to be in town.



Eating three meals a day at a restaurant, stuck in a hotel that may or may not have a pool or amenities, living out of a suitcase, having to sleep in a strange bed...Resentment? No way!



www.powermama.wordpress.com

Shelly - posted on 01/27/2009

4

6

0

Kim



That is funny about peeing by yourself.  My kid are now 16 and 13.  When they come home from school the only time they want to talk to me is if I'm on the toilet.  Not to mention that our new dog is never far from my side, so when I'm in the bathroom he is too.

Beth - posted on 01/27/2009

22

36

4

Quoting Amy:

I totally understand. My husband travels 2-3 times a month and gets the A+ treatment. And he wonders why I want to be wined and dined once in a while.



yep my world exactly :)

Jacquie - posted on 01/27/2009

5

26

1

I completely agree with you Melanie.  I have been doing this for 9 years and it makes you appreciate each other more.  You see some of your friends getting divorced and most of my friends getting divorced do not get a separation like travelling.  So I guess we have to look on the bright side.  "Absence makes the heart grow founder" and only God will give us what we can handle.  For all those moms with children under 6, I remember when all 3 of my kids were home during the day.  Those are very difficult years especially with a travelling husband.  You never get to go to the bathroom alone or have few minutes peace and quiet.  They get better I promise.  Try to get a break away when he is travelling if you have someone to help or take them to workout and put them in daycare.  Any break helps to keep your sanity.

Nan - posted on 01/27/2009

11

0

2

yes yes yes...my husband is in China and all I'm hearing about is the Chinese New Year, the celebrations, the Chinese Banquetes, Steam Boats, handmade noodles!

Erica - posted on 01/26/2009

4

4

0

Omg ....took the words right out of my mouth !!!! Wow that's exactly how I feel !  I have 3 kids 11 , 5, & 3 yrs old. I'm home all week and dealing with the nitty gritty part of being a parent , When I talk to him he , tells me how boring and lonely he is in the hotel . Uhhh I wish..... I cant even use the bathroom with out kids coming in wondering what Tampax is and where I'm going to put it !! Ahhh I want to scream ! I wish i could get room service and have a nice meal that I didn't have to make every night of the week. I know that he works hard so that i can stay home with the kids but geeesh some times I want to just slap him ,,lol.    Its not that bad I tell him ! What really has been the hard part is on the weekends when he is home. I'm clawing at the door wanting to go do something and he just wants to be at home and lay around . Its a hard balance to juggle ,,, I guess that's the sacrifices we make when we have family and children. These days will go bye so fast and some day our kids will be grown and we will wish our homes weren't so silent , So I just smile and know its not forever . But very refreshing hearing that some one is going through the same daily dilemmas as me ,, and trying to stay sane and not become a dang alcoholic in the process just to cope  ..lol

Melanie - posted on 01/26/2009

6

0

1

It is all about perspective! I have been raising my children (17,15, and 11) with a traveling husband for the majority of our marriage. All those tough nights pass and only the sweet memories remain. And how lucky we are that we got to be there for every day of it while our husbands missed out. The sweetest thing my husband ever said to me is "I eat at fine restaurants and drink the finest wine, but it is nothing with out you!" I am sure muny of your husbands feel the same way.

Kim Marie Ford - posted on 01/26/2009

14

20

0

Tell me about it. When he calls complaining about his busy day all I ask is whether or not he got to pee by himself at all today. Because with a 4 yr old and a 1 yr old I didn't.

Jenny - posted on 01/26/2009

10

16

0

I'm with ya sista! I just tell my husband when he tries to tell me over the phone about the fun stuff he's doing..." Honey, I love you and I appreciate what you're doing for us but right now, I don't care that you got to eat your dinner on a boat in Thailand while watching girls dance in traditional thai, I had a frozen pizza, cleaned up after a dog that isn't fully house broken and took the kids to and from school. Tell me later!" Luckily I have a very understanding husband!

Shelly - posted on 01/26/2009

4

6

0

Taking care of kids IS hard work, but you seem to manage to make it fun.  Based on your previous post, it sounds like you have tons of fun with your children.  Maybe he's feeling a little jealous of all the time you get to spend with them.  Maybe he misses all of you more than you think.  Would it be possible to plan some of you fun days around his schedule?

Gayle - posted on 01/26/2009

10

3

1

My husband an I had an argument the other night about him having such a demanding job. He feels that I support him enough and that I have been complaining about my "easy" life. He said he would love for my "job". I have a easy day job and taking care of 4 kids. They have tutoring and tennis are the after school activities. He said he feels no emotion from him when he gets home from traveling. I do resent him and did not like to hear that he went out to a bar and got drunk while he was gone. I have tons of emotion just not he kind he wants. I doubt my self. Can I be more supportive?. Not be so negative?
Help any one?

Heather - posted on 01/23/2009

2

1

0

I completely agree!! I know my husband works hard during the day, but when he gets done with work he gets to go enjoy a nice meal with people from work, go to the hotel and swim, whatever! I, on the other hand, NEVER have a moment to myself! So yes, I'm resentful when he gets home and is exhausted, but expects me to be full of energy and so happy to see him!!

Tracy - posted on 01/23/2009

5

11

0

i must be the luckiest person in the world!!my husband works a month away and comes homes for a month!!! he is stuck on an oilrig in the middle of the sea and has to eat mostly curry (he is in dubai at the mo)!!he does stay in a 5 star hotel when he is going out or coming home(waiting for flights) but he loves to take over when he gets home looking out for the kids and cooking meals for us or going out so i really do get the best of both worlds!!!think he realises how much he misses when he is away !!the knack is to negiotable your terms and conditions!!!if ya don't ya spend the rest of your life nagging and bitching about it!!!aint gonna happen in my house lol!!!so come girls show em a little of that spunk you had when ya got married!!rewards are good xx

Donna - posted on 01/23/2009

9

1

2

A husband is a man who wishes he had as much fun when he goes on business trips as his wife thinks he does." Ann Landers, Creators syndicate



I LIKE THIS! THANKS Shelly. Mine is leaving in about 10 days. To fill in for someone that has a broke leg. So, I am trying to keep a up beat spirit about things before he leaves. I sorta think it would be easier if he left now. NOT that I want him to go but trying to act chipper for that amout of time is wearing me out.

Shelly - posted on 01/23/2009

4

6

0

We lived in France right after our first child was born.  The first week we got there, he had a business trip to England for a week!.  Here I was, a new mom, just quit work, and don't have my mom nearby, and can't speak French, and he leaves me alone.  We made it through 2 1/2 years in France together & it made us stronger as a couple.  We have two kids now (15 &12) and life is much different.  We just moved to Houston, and he's travels as much as ever.  When I get frustrated with his "good times" on the road (you know--great dinners, laughing with other adults, cause let's face it- what stay at home talks to lots of people all day), I just go  to my fridge where I have this quote hanging up



"A husband is a man who wishes he had as much fun when he goes on business trips as his wife thinks he does."   Ann Landers, Creators syndicate



 



It helps remind me that he would rather be home.  And please remember, as your children age, his being gone does get easier.

[deleted account]

I have a pilot husband who works for one company owner.  He flies to his destination, then stays for 3 days and flies home.  Consequently, he gets to go to movies, sushi (I LOVE sushi) and other nice dinners.  For a long time I really resented this as well.  Last year we took a marriage course through our church, and worked through all of these issues.  Most of the time he still tells me about his days, but when I just can't handle hearing I ask him not to tell me so I don't know what I am missing.



He does get very bored, he flies essentially to three places:  Fairbanks, AK/Sacramento, CA/Sun Valley, ID.  Alaska in winter is very limited, last visit it was -52degrees.  In the summer it is more fun, but I am not sure I would want to spend 3 days at a time there.



As part of our marriage course, we learned the value of having a happy partner.  Thus, I usually get at least 1/2 day to myself when he is home, and I allow him the same because the demands of getting things done while he is at home are tough on him.  This works well and makes us a happier and healthier married couple.



 

Julie - posted on 01/22/2009

2

2

0

I am with you on that one! I know it is not his fault and he works hard but I don't want to hear about his Red Lobster dinner when he calls and all I have to look forward to is washing bottles, taking care of the dogs, filling the diaper bag, giving baths, etc. It is hard not to feel some resentment. The worst part is that he gets all the time he wants to be alone and do what he wants and I get none so he comes home and wants me to spend every second with him and I want an hour to go do something I want to do. It is hard that is for sure.

[deleted account]

Men will never understand until it is socially and economically practical for them to be the full-time stay at home caregivers. I personally think (in my partners case) that if his mother had not run around after him, doing everything for him, my life would be easier and that expectation would not be there. If I have a son, he will be able to do everything for himself like (housekeeping wise) like we seem to raise young ladies.

Donna - posted on 01/22/2009

9

1

2

Oh Geez.... having little ones have been a few years back for me. I can remember these times. Like when the 8 year old needed someone to give out spelling words and 2-3 year old had to be blocked off with chairs to keep from bothering his brother. And I was folding clothes shouting out the words. Knowing I had to work a 9hr job the next day. I quit the job and stayed home. But alone. I think I felt most alone those days because I didn't have any relief! Now I have a teen and can have some sorta kind of " teen-adult talk" That helps! And my teen helps around the house when i need him too. It has got better for me. Hope things do for you too. Those are tough years no matter whats going on.

Jacquie - posted on 01/21/2009

5

26

1

Great topic! It is great to see that I am not alone with the travels. I am the type of person that likes to be around other people. I never would have wanted to have a husband that travels. It has been good for me to have my independence, but many weeks it is very difficult. It seems like the minute my husband walks out the door my kids start acting up. I feel like I pulling my hair out some mornings or at bedtime dealing with the kids.



I understand that my husband hates to travel. He comes home tired and wants to rest and just hang out with the kids. I want a break from cleaning and taking care of the kids and I never seem to get it.

Donna - posted on 01/21/2009

1

27

0

Oh I so hear you! I've been married for 22 years and my husband has working out of town for about three years. It's only been short trips before - 13 weeks or so, this time, it's 18 months and in the Caribbean! I can't hear about the sundays at the beach and the nights out at the bars - it's driving me nuts and he doesn't get it! I've got three teenagers at home, and life gets crazy. To have to listen to his time in the sun.... It's getting harder and harder and all I wish is that he coudl understand where I'm coming from...

JuliAnne - posted on 01/21/2009

5

2

1

Been there. Done that!!!! I get soooooo frustrated that he is 'working on the road' so we have enough money to pay our bills and keep from going into foreclosure. He tells me about his eating out here and eating out there, and he and his buddies are going out to the bar...I'm here eating one PB&J sandwich a day just to make sure my daughter has enough food to fill her belly. He gripes about housekeeping at the hotel--- Meanwhile, I'm sitting here in a house that is litterally falling down around me, trying to do the repairs on my own (new furnace, rebuild part of a crumbling foundation, remove and re-hang the garage door...all since November). I keep the heat at 66 (58 at night) and have had the sattelite TV shut off to save money. He complains that he works a ten hour shift and then goes back to the hotel too tired to even call. I get up at 3:30 in the morning to work from home before making breakfast and getting my daughter off to school, then work ON the house and pay bills until I get her from school at noon. Then I chase her, do the laundry, do some more work for a paycheck, make dinner, help her with homework and get her a bath and shower and fall into bed somewhere around 11:30...I work a 20 hour shift....and I can still find time to call and leave him a voicemail every night. It's tough, and I want to gripe about it alot. But, I am thankful that he has a job (since no one else in Michigan does right now), and I am thankfull that he gets to spend a day with his daughter every couple months. And someday, when my business is making more money, he will be able to come home again.

So I've been there. But there is always hope that one day it's going to get better.

Cari - posted on 01/20/2009

3

3

0

I totally understand! My husband always says: "It is no fun eating out with work people, I much rather be eating at home with my family." Maybe so, but l would love to be able to have a dinner where I am sitting down with adult conversation, having cocktails, steak dinners, desserts (all on the company), instead of mac and cheese, homework, baths and "Max and Ruby for entertainment! I know he works hard for our family and the traveling does get old, but still hard not to feel somewhat resentful!

Shelly - posted on 01/20/2009

1,605

20

230

Get over it you choose this life with him.  You need to get your own group of baby sitters and take one night a week to go do wat you need to do.  Find a mommy group  or go out with your girl friend(s) just get over the pitty party because all you will do is damage your relationship with your husband. 

Amanda - posted on 01/20/2009

1

5

0

oh i can relate! I am a stay at home mom ages 5 and 4 months, and it drives me nuts when he calls and he is out to the bar or dinner or whatever it is. He just dont get it. I moved to the area recently and i dont know alot of people and it is hard to get out and meet people. So i just stay at home with the kids and i never get a break dont get me wrong my children our my life but every now and then it would be nice to have help or just to get a break.

Leah - posted on 01/19/2009

1

20

0

I completely understand..I have found ways to detach during the week (probably not healthy) but it works for me.  The problem is that when he comes home, I have a hard time reattaching...I think that making sure to keep myself happy is the answer!!!

Frances - posted on 01/19/2009

16

10

0

Totally relate. i used to feel like that in the beginning, not anymore now though. Now I understand that all the things he does need to happen in order for me to stay at home and not have to work.

What I do appreciate about my husband, besides him being a great man, is that he lets me have my own "girl time" when I need it.



Don't focus on what he does and what you wish you would be doing, focus on the joy that is you seeing your baby grow everyday and being able to provide for your kids. Trust me, he might secretly wish he could stay at home too!

User - posted on 01/19/2009

3

7

0

I'm right there! My husband gets to go to a lot of really nice places, but he also goes to some really COLD places...(we live in Florida). They sometimes don't get how something as simple as a hot meal or going to the bathroom uninterrupted is something to be thankful for! I also try to keep in perspective that times are tough and that I have friends with husbands not working....

Jessie - posted on 01/17/2009

23

26

4

i am hearing youy loud and clear, my man works away for four weeks, then comes home for a week and wants to go out with the boys cause he hasn't seen them in four weeks... i understand that men need men time but i would love to just have a free weekend so i could go and do whatever, see the girls and maybe i could go to the bar by myself and just sit...



i appreciate everything he does for us and i know he needs a release aswell but with not much family where we are, when he's home is basically the only time i get to relax and take a long bath...



I think the one thing that gets to me more than ever is that we still haven't had a night alone, just me and him, since taylah was born... his parents bought us a dinner voucher and even offered to baby sit (very rare) and it still hasn't happened... it's been ten months since i last went to dinner with my fiance... is it selfish to want to just enjoy him on my own for once.



 

Janet - posted on 01/17/2009

2

19

0

I can fully understanf my husband just come back ofter 7 days in America.  But I know he does miss us all, the thing is I am missing him, but he is missing ALL three of us.  I can normally do what I want when I want to .  But as he is at work he does have limitations, so who is really better off?

Amanda - posted on 01/17/2009

20

18

2

My Mister is the opposite, but still requires adjustment when he gets home. He works in the oilfield, so he is stuck on a barge, or a rig for a month or more at a time, eating nasty food, and sleeping in a bunk! When he gets home, he wants to go everywhere and do fun things, and it is nonstop! It is nice that he wants to spend time together, but after a couple weeks, I am so tired, I fall asleep really early.

I love the time with him, though, so I don't make a big deal about it, I just go to bed early or take a nap the next day :)

Christine - posted on 01/14/2009

3

28

0

Yes! I am happy that he has more of a social life now, but I wish I did too! It's not fair. When he's home and my friends want to have girls' nights he is none to thrilled b/c "that's the only time we have together". Ugh!

[deleted account]

It was like this at first.  But with this current job he is on he's eating at Quick Trip and McD's because he's so busy and has to grab and go. LOL!!! I think it's funny because he barely uses his food allowance because he doesn't have time for real sit-down restaurants.



Seriously though, ask him not to talk about all the great stuff he gets to do.  And ask him to take you someplace nice when he is home so you don't feel so left out!

Christine - posted on 01/13/2009

1

9

0

I can definately relate.  My husband can be gone for weeks at a time.  Right now he is in Holland and we have 5 more weeks before he comes home and I just started back to work last week.  It can get crazy.  I am happy when he comes home but I so look forward to sleeping in and doing nothing!!!!! 

Karina - posted on 01/13/2009

179

14

38

thankyou to each and every mum who commented on my post....even though i live in australia, its funny that we can all relate to each other....from the other side of the world!

every now and then we all have minor meltdowns and it is good that we can support and talk to each other.....stay strong, ladies.....if mum looses it, the whole household would collapse!!!

Karina - posted on 01/13/2009

179

14

38

Quoting Kristy:



My husband is usually gone all week and only home on the weekends.   I have to say, my husband complains about his "lonely" nights at the bar or eating out each night alone, or his quite boring hotel room.  I fantasize about eating out alone...just imagine a hot meal with no complaining, no fughting, and not having to cut up someone elses food or clean up their spilled food.  How nice it would be to sit at the bar alone and have a drink instead of hiding the beer/wine I want at the end of the night from my kids who learned at school that alcahol is a drug and no one should have any.  Oh, yeah and how about the boring hotel room where someone comes along and cleans up after me the next day! 






I love my husband....but we have the problem of his "oh woe is me" behavior...combined with him coming home and expecting that hotel maid to be here picking up after him.  I just wish he could enjoy his trips instead of making me (the one who is home with a bunch of picky kids and a messy noisy house) worry about him.






hi kristy, thanks for your reply, it made me laugh especially about the alcohol!!! i even have to hide the diet coke, because my son then wants it!!!



yes our husbands do not realise what it is like negotiating bath, dinner and bed time!!!



i live in australia, but sounds as though everyone has the same problem.



maybe we could keep in touch?



without other mums to talk to (and the wine) we would surely go insane.



kind regards, karina.

Venessa - posted on 01/12/2009

1

1

0

My husband goes out of town every once in a while this week is one of those times. I know what you mean they are out all week eating lots of yummy foods. What I do is plan a girls night .....so friday night i will be home to say hello and sat. night I'm going out with some friends and he will be home with the baby!!

Shauna - posted on 01/12/2009

16

19

2

I especially love when he calls and tells me what he is eating at what great restaurant that night (Hey honey I just had the best lobster in Maine!) while I am munching away on frozen fish sticks. I find I have to remind him that my entire life is here in this house while he is wining and dining. He used to bring up Morton's Steak House all the time and ask if I thought that was the best steak around, until I let him know I have never actually been there, only he has. I think I finally got through to him, and he is planning a date night for us after our 3rd child is born in the next 3 weeks. I hope we get to go somewhere more exciting than TGIFs!

[deleted account]

I sometimes resent the 5* dinners and events. Somedays I'm glad I'm home because many nights they run quite late. Sometimes he brings me treats home, like he'll order a slice of cheesecake as he's preparing to leave. I appreciate that. But what bug me even more than his fabulous dining experiences is that because he dines out so much when he's home he wants home cooked meals and has no interest in going out to dinner w/ me. 

Lynn - posted on 01/09/2009

1

6

0

Oh!  I'm so with you !!  I have a 3 and 5 yr old.  My husband is a pilot-gone 4-5 days a week then has 3-4 days off-then off to fun places again!  I love to travel-but because he does it all the time-we don't!  I negotiated a time share 2 years ago-so at least we get that!  BUT I find myself thinking about it alot more than I should!  I start planning next years- the day I come home from this years.  It is frustrating!  I don't even have any advice!  I feel the same!  he'll get home-sometimes late at night and I'll just say "honey can we talk about it tomorrow-there's a lot going on here that I need to catch up on"  .  I've had a few-"do you have any idea what I endure when you're gone?" meltdowns.  and "I feel like a single Mom" ones too. 



The best thing for me though has been to just give in to it-I get bummed about not having a network of people around me and always being with kids, but I started todo things that don't need to involve him.  I take my kids to swimming and hang out with other stay at home moms.  I go to lunch with other Moms while the kids are at preschool.  I know moms who go to a gym nearby when their kids are at school-(I'm not a work out mom).  I started to do more things for "me", and that seems to really help.  Find places that have child play areas-like a store that you can sign your little one into a play land while you shop!  We have one GREAT grocery store here-more upscale than the others-I'll go and shop and take a few minutes to check out the bath and body aisle-buy myself some expensive bath gel-even though I may never use it-ha.  it helps me unwind a bit to not have to constantly explain why Mommy is turning right, not left, or when is Daddy coming home! 



 



It really does help if you pick a few things that are just your own, that you can do! 



I hope this helps! 



:) Lynn

Drusilla - posted on 01/08/2009

3

8

0

Yes I understand!!! My husband gets to go to nice hotels and get a full nights rest in a made bed, and not worry about being woken up in the middle of the night!!!!! He says I should be happy for him if I was a mature adult!!!! Well I'm not, I'm jealous! This is very hard on me especially since I work a 50 hour a week job, and barely get home in time to get my 20 month old and feed him and put him to bed. He says I have it easy because it's so hard to be on the road all of the time. Whatever.

Krista - posted on 01/08/2009

14

0

1

Hi Karina!



My husband is a pilot and goes out every night for dinner...with his crew..to really nice places. After about 2 years of feeling that frustration, I just asked him not to talk about it. So now, I have no idea where he eats and then I don't feel quite so annoyed! But yes, I know how it is b/c Im at home with 4 kiddos while he's out..oh snowboarding while he has a with no flying in CO this week..ugh! 

Amy - posted on 01/08/2009

1

8

0

I totally understand. My husband travels 2-3 times a month and gets the A+ treatment. And he wonders why I want to be wined and dined once in a while.

Cyndi - posted on 01/08/2009

5

12

0

I can relate as well.  My husband is an international flight attendant for AA and all he does is complain about the job.  I work also and raise our 4 year old son alone most of the time while he is in Paris, Tokyo, Maui, etc.  I handle all of the household responsibilities, the bills, our son, his school PLUS my job and when he gets home, all he wants to do is rest.  Any "me time" is out of the question and he gets to have is alone time in these wonderful places all over the world.  I just need a break sometimes and he feels that he is the one who needs to relax when he gets home from a trip.  But that could stretch out for a week before his next trip!  I don't get a day off - ever!  I am becoming a bit resentful...

Cyndi - posted on 01/08/2009

5

12

0

I can relate as well.  My husband is an international flight attendant for AA and all he does is complain about the job.  I work also and raise our 4 year old son alone most of the time while he is in Paris, Tokyo, Maui, etc.  I handle all of the household responsibilities, the bills, our son, his school PLUS my job and when he gets home, all he wants to do is rest.  Any "me time" is out of the question and he gets to have is alone time in these wonderful places all over the world.  I just need a break sometimes and he feels that he is the one who needs to relax when he gets home from a trip.  But that could stretch out for a week before his next trip!  I don't get a day off - ever!  I am becoming a bit resentful...

Kimberly - posted on 01/06/2009

6

3

0

I think that's a very normal reaction that we all share.  My husband is in the travel industry and is gone a lot, too.  Like Jami wrote, I also just want to be alone and have some time for myself when he's here and he's wanting family time.  It's such a conflict with no easy solution.  But he is missing out on a lot of the good times.  And kids do grow up so fast.  Perhaps patience is the key...  (anybody got any?)  :)

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms