How do i handle my husband missing my pregnancy?

[deleted account] ( 9 moms have responded )

My husband has been gone for over three months; he works in Australia. I'm 5 months pregnant with our first and he still has not seen me (with the exception of skype). We found out I was pregnant after he left. He started travelling for work in november 2009 and i still can't seem to get used to it. I work full-time (plus some) and we have two huge dogs. It's not so much 'handling' everything (although it's been very hard), but moreso not having the love and intimacy around me.

How do I handle my husband missing my pregnancy?

i'd like to hear from the moms that have experience with travelling husband.....does it get easier?

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9 Comments

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Michelle - posted on 09/08/2012

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Oshama Bin Laden you shouldn't be on this site if your going to give stupid advise.

Carla - posted on 08/17/2010

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Albeit he may not be with you in the physical sense of the word he is always with you spiritually. The two of you share a bond that is not easily broken over space or time. My life was also full and full-filled with other family and friends before we married and after that I was constantly feeling loved by many. As wife and mother I dont think I work any less hard when my husband is not in our home. I just miss him when he is not. It is not easy, but it can be done. Remain mindful and prayerful as this is a sensitive situation in any marriage. I wish you well.

Kristin - posted on 08/04/2010

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Dani, I completely understand how you are feeling. With our Son my Husband was working in the same state where we live, but not able to drive home in the evenings. He did come home on the weekend and I do have to admit that I resented him for missing so much of the everyday feelings and physical changes I was going through. And even now I am 8 months pregnant an my Husband is gone. But this time he is on the east coast. It never gets easy, but you learn to deal with doing the everyday things on your own. Out of the 8 months, my Husband has been gone approx 4 of them. I send him pictures all the time and tell him about every little movement that I feel. I know it is just as hard on him to be missing this event in our lives, so I try to keep him updated as much as possible. Our Baby is due in late Sept, and he has already made arrangrments with work that he is not going to be traveling as of the 1st of Sept. This is comforting to me knowing that he'll be there for the birth. Maybe your Husband can do the same and this will help ease some of your feelings. Good Luck.

Christine - posted on 07/26/2010

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You could make a video diary for him and give it to him at some point. You don't have to film everyday but once a week, stating how far along you are, what is going on, how you are feeling, how your Dr. appt went etc. This would be a real treasure for him and you later to look back on.

[deleted account]

thanks ladies!! great advise. The good news is my husband will be home in three weeks; just in time for an ultra-sound. Also, he's been very involved with my pregnancy; asking about my food regiment, keeping tabs on my doctors appointments and checking in daily to make sure mommy to be and baby are ok. It feels better knowing im not the only one.

Deborah - posted on 07/23/2010

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Its hard, mine was away for 6 months of the pregnancy, and we were worried he wouldnt be home in time for the birth. he made it though! i spent a lot of time making videos of the 'bump' especially when she was kicking. also every scan i made a video and he got to see the baby moving inside me and it felt like he was there.
my husband hated being away at that time, but he said all the videos made him feel closer.
i also got him to sing twinkle twinkle little star on video - id play it every morning to my belly. later on he also made a few voice recordings for me to play to my belly before bed. it made him feel more involved.
When she was 21 months old, she sang us her first song - twinkle twinkle little star:)
i think its the little things that make it easier.
hang in there, and enjoy the pregnancy

Alissa - posted on 07/11/2010

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Well, for starts, you never get used to it, you just learn how to cope with it. Just do your best to keep him informed. Maybe express your need to be with him, maybe for him to come home for a visit if that is possible. My husband tavles too and it is very hard. They miss out on so much. I think the most important thing to remember is that, they are not happy about it either, if not more upset about it, they miss it.
Just try to find ways to be intament via the phone or skype. I know it is not the same, but at it's something.
Really tough all you can do is keep him as informed on things as possible. Maybe you can get the babies heart beat recorded so he can hear it too, and you could listen to it together! Hang in their hunie! I know it's not easy but you'll get through it.
Take it from me, as long as he gets to be there for the birth of the baby, him missing out on the pregnancy won't matter. And in a way, when they can't be there through the whole thing, and then the baby is born and they are there, it is soo much better and a little more emotional....in a good way!

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