Balancing it all

Jen - posted on 07/01/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hello all, I just joined and you all seem like a great group to pose this question to...

I have 2 kids who are 15 months apart (10 months and 2 yrs.) I work with an online school as a History Specialist and balance it with housework and other chores. My husband is so helpful when he is home. He really is more awesome than anything I could have wished for. My problem is I am usually so stressed from being overwhelmed all day that it is hard to turn it off when he gets home and starts to help. I am looking for advise on how to possibly do this. My husband needs lots of affirmation, which I never get from a 2 yr old and a 10 month old :). I need help figuring how to change my mentality and how to ensure that I acknowledge how awesome my husband is.

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Melanie - posted on 07/04/2009

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It is very hard to shut off the stressed mommy and turn on loving wife when dad comes home. My girls are 15 months apart also. It's kind of a chore for you to stop, take a deep breath when he walks in, and just remember to love and greet him. It is hard to change the mommy voice into sweet wife, I still have problems with it, especially when the girls are fighting. But our husbands are worth the effort and it pays off in the end.

Tanya - posted on 07/03/2009

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My husband and I have a end of the day thing we do, every evening before bed for 15 to 30 mins we will lay on the bed opposite ways and rub each others feet we will talk about everything that happened that day sometimes he'll go first and I'll listen or it'll be the other way around but we both get a turn! this way we share the good the bad and the ugly with no distractions or hessitaion (like talking about something in frount of the kids)



We do this so that way we can still enjoy our evening with eachother and our children and we know we will have a "time" to let it all out before the night is over.

Every now and then if I have and awful day and I just want to forget about it (or he does) and we will still rub each others feet the sameway just we'll watch TV or a movie instead of talk, or we play a game (scrabble is our fav.)... We know we have this time so it makes it easier not to go laying everything out right at the moment because were afraid no one will listen later.



Also sometimes there is dessisions I want to figure out because I've been home sitting with them all day and when my husband gets home I want to figure it out - What we do If we have a question for one another is we ask it with out expectaions of a quick answer. For example I'll ask "What are we going to do with the check were getting from______?" If he don't seem to be answering me I'll say "you'll get back to me on that"? and he'll say "Yes, Wednesday" - we make a point to tell them when we may have an answer to their question that way it's not a fight everyday till the other one has and answer and I won't ask again until Wednesday night.

I hope some of this you'll find helpful :)

Shelly - posted on 07/01/2009

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Jen,

Why should you have to shut nit off why can you not talk to your husband about it???Is that not a part of marriage being able to talk to our spouces about every thing??? If you are trying to be some thing your not all you are going to do by holding it is destroy your marriage b/c you will start resenting the fact that you have no one to talk to!!! Don't let it build up so long that you explode over some thing stupid....Try talking to your hubby about how your feeling!!!

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