do you feel bad when he helps with housework....after working all week?

Farrah - posted on 01/18/2010 ( 39 moms have responded )

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My husband is awesome....He works so hard yet he still helps do the weekend cleaning. I feel bad sometimes but oh so greatful for it. :)

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Bethany - posted on 01/18/2010

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I wouldn't feel bad about it, but definitly let him know how appreciative you are for it!

To me that is a real man! It seems to me that he understands you are a hard working mother and feels he needs to be helping you. That is love.

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Brandy - posted on 03/05/2010

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I do feel bad but I remind myself that being a mom is a full time job within itself. Even though he works I am the only one getting up a couple of times at night to change and feed our son. He doesn't complain though. He is amazing!!

Rebecca - posted on 03/04/2010

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Yes! i totally feel bad! I feel he should never have too with all he does to provide for our family! But yet im so priveledged that he is so helpful,caring,and understanding!

Courtney - posted on 03/02/2010

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My husband helps after working all week too. I am a stay at home mom and I try to get everything done so he doesn't have to do anything but when I do get behind he is right there helping. He cleaned the whole house the other day when I went to get my hair colored! I feel bad when he helps because he leaves for work around 3 or 4 in the morning and sometimes doesn't get home till 7 p.m. or later. He is always telling me I do to much and trying to get me to leave him things to do when he gets home! But when he gets home I want him to be able to relax and just spend time with me and our kids. He works so hard for us and he shouldn't have to keep working when he gets home. But I love that he does!

Jeanette - posted on 03/01/2010

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I do feel bad too when my hubby helps out, but when I mention it he just says he wants to, besides I'm "stuck" at home all day with the kids it's the least he can do. Now that is awesome to me!

Rebecca - posted on 03/01/2010

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no, i don't feel bad. the HOME is a home for everyone, and as such, EVERYONE who lives there she be involved in maintaining it and my husband agrees.... which is why he is cool!

Amanda - posted on 02/28/2010

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yes i feel bad... i know that staying at home and trying to do school in between is stressful but i know he works really hard, but hes great and does it with no complaints.. im truely blessed with a wonderful husband and terrific daddy

Sufia - posted on 02/19/2010

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I feel bad when he helps around the house. My husband is a student and he works too so he is really busy most of the time. I try to do everything before he gets home. And i make food friday for weekends so i can spend time with him. My husband is great and i dont let him do anything. I'd rather he spend time with our 14 months old daughter then help around the house. When i had baby for more then one month he didn't let me get my feet of the bed. He used to say you take care of your self and the baby i will take care of everything else. He is such a great man and i am so very greatful to have him in my life.

Edna - posted on 02/18/2010

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I know how you feel! My husband works about 50 hours a week. I work and I go to school full time so he says he wants to make things as easy as possible. He comes home and helps me with laundry and cleaning. When he doesn't have to. I must say I feel guilty when he does...but my goodness he's awesome!

Yitza - posted on 02/10/2010

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I am a stay at home mom of three. My husband works six days a week and still manages to come in after work and help with the cleaning every night. Its not that I feel bad but it makes me feel like I'm not doing my job well. On the one day he's off he does the laundry too. Thank heavens for these wonderful thoughtful men.

Sally - posted on 02/09/2010

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No I don't think you should feel bad because you are a team! You work hard to...being a mommy, wife and "everything woman." A study found that homemakers if paid (based on the amount of work we do day in and day out..) it would be about $80,000/year!

Cecille - posted on 01/28/2010

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Sometimes I feel bad... but then again, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. it's all work too, right? Sometimes, it seems like it's never ending! It's nice that my hubs pitches in around the house. I don't even have to ask. He just does it. I'm very grateful to have a helpful hubby and not one who just plops down on the sofa watching sports and drinks all day. Don't get me wrong... he gets to do that at times, but he always makes time to help me out. I love that guy!

Amy - posted on 01/28/2010

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I have a wonderful husband and he works all the time so I am able to stay home with our girls and I feel awful when I don't get something done and he helps me. He is so great about helping to get the house work done and it makes me feel bad. So I try to work harder to get the house in order before he gets home.

[deleted account]

Yes, I feel totally guilty when he helps out around here. I try to get everything extra clean on Friday afternoon so that there's really nothing for him to do on the weekends other than maybe help pick up the toys with the kids when they finish playing, or something like that. Of course, it doesn't always go that way! LOL I just hate that he works long hours, goes to school full time, and then sometimes helps clean on the weekends, too. It makes me feel like a slacker, even though I know that's totally irrational since I'm homeschooling our 6-year-old and also have a very active 13-month-old who's into everything. He's really cool about it, but it still makes me feel like a slacker.

Megann - posted on 01/27/2010

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Oh yes I feel guilty when my man helps with the housework. but, he is a lot better at it than I am, i must admit! the only thing i don't feel guilty about is when he takes out the trash or feeds his very large dog (i'm only 5'1" stretching, so the dog overwhelms me at times).

Becka - posted on 01/27/2010

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I'm due any day now, and trying to just stay off my feet and look after our daughter while he's at work wears me out. He's wonderful about taking care of everything around the house when he's home. He jokes that he's going to enjoy his vacation where he's only going to help with kids and pets and house projects, and stuff that needs to be done... so really he just wants me to cook, and do dishes and laundry after I recover from having baby and we will share everything else again.
It's amazing to me that he has taken over and does everything, but not a day goes by with out me thanking him :)

Bridget - posted on 01/27/2010

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My husband helps clean on the weekends & helps get the kids ready for bed @ night. I am so grateful. Just make sure u let ur husband kno how much u appreciate his help. This is the way I feel. I know he works but he gets weekends & evenings off. Stay @ home moms dont get time off. U r always cleaning or taking care of a child so take advantage of his sweetness.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/24/2010

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No way! Is that bad? We have a 7 month old. My husband works full time, and I go to school full time. Neither of us really get any time to relax, so it's not like he's working & helping out at home all the time while I get to relax.

Charlene - posted on 01/23/2010

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Well, my husband is retired and I am off on medical leave. I have a torn rotator cuff and need surgery which could be two years of waiting. I feel bad because there is so many things I can't do (it is my left shoulder and I am left handed). It seems that over our married life he has had to pitch in and help when I can't and it makes my feel very inadequate. Silly, I know, but there it is. I get so discourage with the pain and not being able to do much. It has been a year. People say, "just don't do it" and don't be depressed. They just don't "get" it.........
Oops............sorry for the poor me...........my husband is amazing!!

Kelly - posted on 01/23/2010

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I wouldn't feel bad. To often "housewives/stay-at-home-moms" are looked at as the only ones who should do all of it because we don't hold a traditional job and pull in a paycheck. Yes, they work, but they get 15 min break, lunch breaks, days off. I understand that they are tired and I completely appreciate EVERYTHING my husband does to help around the house, but I used to work 60 hour work weeks on helicopters, and that is nothing compared to what I do now! Lol! I always try to have the housework done, food made, ect. but if there is some times when my son won't let me because he is in clingy, grouchy mood and he helps I appreciate it. He would rather do that then have to handle a grumpy child! Lol! I am blessed to have a man who usually doesn't complain about it either ;)

Becca - posted on 01/23/2010

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I do feel bad, too! I'm home more often than he is (we have two children: 6 and 4 and we both are in school full-time, he works full-time, I work two part-time jobs, but I have mostly online classes so I am home more). However, he loves to cook (he's going to school to be a chef! :) ) and I hate to cook, but he'll also do the dishes and sometimes will do laundry! (Of course I had to stop that last one because I was getting a little annoyed with drying off with a wet towel in the morning b/c he fills the dryer too full everytime... lol) But I love everything he does do even if he doesn't do it "right" lol... because well it's the thought that counts and he really is just trying to make my day less stressful! :)

[deleted account]

It's really easy for us to feel unappreciated. I figured out a long time ago that if I make a point to sincerely thank him, even for the stuff he is expected to do, but especially when he goes above and beyond, then he is more likely to make me feel appreciated. He doesn't often say "thank you," but he shows it well.

[deleted account]

I completely agree. I feel bad, especially when my asthma acts up and he has to help me more. He is so amazing and I feel so blessed to have him! :D

Ali Marie - posted on 01/22/2010

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Yes I do feel bad. I've always felt like I was a horrible housekeeper, so when I can't do it all I feel bad that he helps. Even though I know he is the kind of person that HAS to be doing something all the time...if it wasn't housework it would be something else...I think its just my own insecurities about being a "clean and tidy" person (or not lol) that make me feel bad. I do give him all of my appreciation though! I try to make all our meals together amazing, rub his back, bjs LOL etc...

Ainsley - posted on 01/21/2010

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No I don't, Its welcomed help as we mum's (or stay home dads) work just as hard, only we don't have set hours! We are on call 24/7 (to bubs and husbands) and only get a break sometimes. I think they should help out, we are not maids we are wives and mums! Thank you so much to my husband to be he is a wonderful help. Love you babe xx

Cathlyn - posted on 01/21/2010

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I always feel bad when Brad cleans something- like I let him down by not mopping before he realized that the floor need it! But, I am a fulltime worker and a full time student, so sometimes- I just take a backseat and remember that the floor gets messy with his help too...so why should he not mop it once every three months? Then, I give him a big hug and say thanks.

[deleted account]

My husband works in Africa for 5 weeks, then he is home for 5 weeks.. He does as much as I do when he is home, although I haev never asked him to.. He sees me cleaning so he gets up and cleans also.. He rawks :)

However, when he worked in the states, I tried my hardest to have everything done before he came home.. I didn't feel right about him working so hard during thr day, then have to clean when he got home.. I rather he spent time with our daughter.. Besides, I am a stay at home mom and a wife.. It's my job :)

Kory - posted on 01/21/2010

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My husband works all week and week-ends..and he is on call 24-7.. and he still has time 4 me and the boys and he helps with all the house stuff and I feel bad alot of the times, but if he was upset about somthing or felt anyway he would come to me and we would talk it out... My man the bomb!!!! lol!

Andria - posted on 01/20/2010

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I came home today with the whole house spotless. The only thing that wasnt done was laundry. I feel bad when he does that cause I feel as though I should do it but that why we have wonderful husbands!!

Chrissy - posted on 01/20/2010

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I wouldnt feel bad,although I do sometimes also. I stay home while my hubby works long hours all week but he doesnt mind doing things around the house. He's always improving something in our house, he cant sit still. Its worse in the summer though, hes always doing something outside. I am preg. and expecting anyday so I dont feel to bad about laying around lol....

Michelle - posted on 01/20/2010

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I wouldnt feel too bad...do you get to just relax and do nothing on the wknds? or ever? Its part of being a parent, hes a dad "full time" and that includes laundry, dinner, etc! :)

Vickie - posted on 01/20/2010

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No, I wouldn't feel bad. But definitely let him know how much you appreciate his help & everything he does. And at least once a month, make him a really special meal or give him a card or something small just because. It's the little things that mean a lot.

Yannine - posted on 01/20/2010

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Hi! Right now, I am a full time student, and I work part-time, we have one daughter who is going to be 4 years old in April, and she is a handful! she can make the house look like a tornado ran through it in no time! Right now he is on vacation from school and work until the 2nd week in february, and he does ALOT of the housework and even cooks at times, he is great! I also feel bad at times, but as long I dont add to the mess, and just show my appreciation, and help when I can, i think its alright! we just need to be grateful we have such wonderful men in our lives!

Tiffany - posted on 01/20/2010

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I feel bad sometimes because I don't work. I feel like I should be able to do it all myself. He also cooks because if he doesn't he won't eat cuz' I'm not gonna' cook except every once in a while. I don't feel bad, however, when I look around and see his army crap everywhere. Or when I fold his laundry and he doesn't say thank you. I don't do his laundry either....hmmmm sounds like I have no reason to complain huh

Natasha - posted on 01/18/2010

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i feel the same way you do! my husband always says he wishes i would ask him to help instead of doing it myself, but to me that is a part of being a stay at home mom. he works so hard to put food on our table and a roof over a heads i dont want him to have to clean as well.

Tabb - posted on 01/18/2010

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My husband works a 10hr shift 6 days a week (90% of the time), and still on most evenings when he comes home, he will still pick up toys or clean up from supper. He always does the laundry; our laundry room is downstairs and since he works in the Coal Mines, that is his domain. His shower is down there, so he just takes over laundry duty like it's nothing (thank GOD for the MIlitary, huh?!) ! That is one of the biggest helps he could ever do!
He gets up at 4:30am when he is on day shift and on most nights he stays up to around 12am just to hang out and spend 'alone' time with me or to catch up on our days. To me, that is awesome that he can take that on.

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