How can u forgive him ????

Vanessa - posted on 10/25/2009

All I can say, having dealt with SO much at such a young age, is... You can't force a forgiveness. You can try to forget about it, you can try moving on from it, but in all honestly you will forgive, forget and get over whatever hurt you have on your own time. And thats really just how easy it is. You can't move on until youre ready to let yourself move on. Hope that helps some!

Laura - posted on 10/24/2009

yeah thats a great book lori, there are other ones as well, power of praying parent, etc.. anyways.. my husband and i had some issues in beg of marriage as well.. hard to let go i know, but sometimes you just have to give it to God, as someone said earlier.. if you want to keep your marriage strong, you have to be as well..God bless your family

LORI - posted on 10/12/2009

It was hard to forgive my husband for many of our "beginning" problems but then i joined a bible study at church on marriage and also read "Power of a praying wife" and was able to look at my husband in a whole new light and appreciate the "new" good things he does!

Sally - posted on 08/09/2009

Am thankful 4 all of u, really thanks alot 4 ur replies and ur valuable advices :)

Allison - posted on 08/07/2009

Sally, these are very big questions with little information. I will try to answer as best I can.

If my husband hurt me? Depends, if physically, I could never forgive that. On an emotional level, that takes work. I have said things I'm sure that hurt his feelings. Not out of anger or hurt, but maybe frustration. We always take a breath and TALK, no accusing or blaming. I have the right to express my feelings and so does he. We don't always agree. But if we can walk away acknowledging each others feelings and respect those feelings than we're going in the right direction.

The bad things - - I think we all put a weight on 'things' - - You have to ask yourself, how do I weight myself against the action against me. For me, personally - - I don't know how I would handle the 'bad thing' becaused I have never been put in that situation. If your husband did one bad thing but overall is a good man, then you should focus on the good, if you love him. My only exception to this is if he laid a hand on you. There is no excuse for abuse and no forgiveness. I don't care what anyone else says. Abuse only escalates and is means to keep a person controlled.

But there is no exchange. Just because a good thing is done, that does not erase the bad.

Yes, it is very normal to be sad about the past even though you still love. That's a good thing. Just be sure to take care of yourself too.

Shelly - posted on 08/07/2009

Sally,

We are called to forgive one another!!! Trying praying about it a nd give it to God!! Trust is a big thing in a marriage and if you don't have it then your marriage is suffering!!! If you have truely forgiven not only him but your self then it would not be an issue!! Forgiving your self is harder thatn forgiving the person that did you wrong...No I'm not saying that you did any thing wrong but you know in your heart that you blame your self and question your self how you allowed this to happen and why didn't I see this coming...Sweety your not to blame so forgive yourself and move on as long as you keep holding on to the hurt you will damage your marriage even more...I will keep you in my prayers and ask the Lord to wrap you in a blanket of peace!!!

Gloria - posted on 08/06/2009

Hon let me tell you, I've had heartache and hurt in my marriage, and I said to myself am I gonna keep the hurt and move on or am I gonna let the hurt rule me, so I chose not to be sad and bitter even though I cried and cried and wanted to call it quits.......I decided to forgive him and that's how our relationship healed but of course with God's help.