How long were you married before you had children?

Jamie - posted on 11/30/2009 ( 338 moms have responded )

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My husband were married for 5 years before we had our DD. I am glad that we had waited before we had her, it allowed us to discover who we are as a couple and get settled in life together.



Do you think it makes a difference on the marriage having children right away or not?

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Angela - posted on 05/13/2012

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My son was born 15½ months before I married his father. His 2 brothers and his sister came along after we were married. We split up just before our oldest boy turned 10.

My second husband and I married at the age of 50. So we won't be having a family!!

Tina - posted on 08/08/2011

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Yes it does, but age of the couple at marriage is also a factor. As it was in my case, I didn't marry early, though I would have tried to do that it wouldn't have worked out right. So we didn't waste any time and have now 3 grown children one who is a father and he is the youngest, so he got married early because he wanted to . I have a daughter now engaged to be married and she is planning all the things to be done that are needed . Age of the couple at marriage is an important factor. If you want children early then you do need to plan as much as possible ahead of time. If you can afford to wait a little bit then be sure you have the things that you will need at the time of birth, and so on.

Decolua - posted on 04/22/2010

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I don't think the having kids make a difference, but the people involved. My husband an I had one child a year before we got married! I am 25 and we started dating when I was. 17 engaged at 19. Married June 8th 2007. We now have our second child who was born dec 18 2009. Everything is so great and getting better. No big issues with having kids or marriage. I will soon be a doctor and my husband is almost done with his bachelors.

Gemma - posted on 04/22/2010

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My husband and I will have been married 2yrs in may, and are expecting our first baby in August. I think for us as we got together so young (me-19, him-20) it was good to have time to grow together (3yrs dating, 2yrs engaged, 2yrs married) before we take on the responsibility of a baby. It has been nice to learn how we each respond to different situations, and cope with stress; and how we can cope better together.
I don't know if it makes a difference? It works well both ways I'm sure. But for me I'm pleased to know where we stand with each other before tackling the stress of a baby.

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Tina - posted on 04/07/2014

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If we had met early and been ready for marriage early we probably would have waited as well. But as it was we didn't meet until later and waiting would not have been smart for our planning process. So we got busy right away as a result. That's what worked for us.

Hema - posted on 11/23/2013

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5 years before conceive we actuly waited every month 4 our little one and when I got pregnent we dint knew till 6 weeks but after an ultrasound we know opsss the thing which we waited 4 we actually have and we both havnt any words that time when we knew it thanx god

Jenn - posted on 11/22/2013

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We were married 9 months to the day before our son was born. My period came 2 days after the wedding and we conceived a couple weeks after that. Lil guy was born 9 days early. Ppl assume we rushed to get married because I found out I was pregnant but that's just not the case! Lol

Jenn - posted on 11/22/2013

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Our son was born 9 months to the day after our wedding. We conceived about 2.5 weeks after saying "I do." We had dated 3.5 years before marrying and I have two children from my previous marriages that have always been a big part of our relationship as they live with me 80% of the time. MY husband and I first started dating when my older children were 4 and 15 and so having a baby wasn't so much of a transition for us because we are accustomed to having kids around and we love it! Of course we do wish for more alone time occasionally but that's just part of life. We love our big blended family!

Rachel - posted on 09/26/2013

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I had a son from a previous relationship so we've always had a child in our marriage.
I happened to be 2 months pregnant when we got married. It's not why we got married though. I decided to come off my birth control and thought it would take a little time to get pregnant after coming off. lol, I was so wrong! I got pregnant right away. So, we've always had children.

Lynsey - posted on 09/25/2013

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My husband and I conceived one month after we married and had our son before celebrating our first anniversary. Three months after baby one we conceived baby two... We'll now we have been married for ten years with six children. Needless to say we have been busy since the day we said, " I do."

Teagan - posted on 09/10/2013

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We were married for 8 months before conceiving (dated 5 years before we got married though).

Kaylea - posted on 08/29/2013

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We had a child after 2 years of dating then weren't married for another 3 years after lol

Lynn - posted on 05/27/2012

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just something that was kinda funny the other day.... I have one child. My husband and I decided we only want one, so my hubby got snipped... Well i love kids, so I do daycare. I take the children with me to the store sometimes if i have a wild thought of going on a picnic or something, and we need to pick up goodies.
Well anywho, the lady at the cash register seen all the kids and told me "you must be a busy mom." I just kind of laughed and said "they keep me on my toes" it was so funny since I had five kids with me, three which are 5 years old and two which are 2 years old and NONE of them look alike.

Kristie - posted on 05/25/2012

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We were actually pregnant when we got engaged. I didnt know I was pregnant, I was in the Army so lots of physical activity and didnt noticed I had missed. Atleast I can say that my son was at our wedding as I was almost 2 months along. So Scot was born 8 months after getting married

Cyndel - posted on 05/14/2012

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4 months before conceiving, I was 10 days away from being 9m when we celebrated our 1st anniversary. Needless to say I was huge and exhausted.

Lynn - posted on 05/13/2012

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My parents got married when I was 5 years old. And they were divorced by the time I was 18. Whats funny is they are better friends now, then they were when they were married.

Heather - posted on 03/17/2012

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Me and my husband were married for 14months when I got pregnant w/my DD. My husband would have liked to have waited but I was ready.

Lydia - posted on 03/07/2012

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we were married 2 years when we had our daughter, will be married 4 years now with our second arriving this summer.



i have a few friends who got pregnant on their honeymoon and they were surprised, but they did want children in general just not so quick... so far i know their marriages are good, I suppose if you never get settled into being alone as a couple you just work it out being a family straight from the beginning.



i don't think that in general you can say one way is better than the other it all depends on the two as couple.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 12/30/2011

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I know I said this before. But I had my 2nd daughter 2 weeks before I married my husband. I also had my older daughter 3 years before I met him.

Brittany, congratulations :)

Brittany - posted on 12/29/2011

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We were married 5 years before we had our first son now we are having our second any day now!

Proud - posted on 12/22/2011

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We got pregnant 2 months after we got married.

We started trying on our wedding night

Teresa - posted on 08/18/2011

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my hubby and i were married about 9 months and one week ;) we had a "honeymoon baby" literally concieved during our honeymoon.
we had already been living together for over 3 years and were planning to have kids right away, but i wanted to wait until we were officially married before we started having kids. i'm glad we had our son right away, it was hard enough to wait until after the wedding.

Nicole - posted on 08/11/2011

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We had our first son 16 months before we got married. We only had been dating 4 months when I got pregnant and then got engaged when our son was 7 months old. We got pregnant with #2 on our honeymoon! We had kids fast, but it worked for us!

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/10/2011

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I was married for just over 2 years before I had my older daughter with my ex husband.

I was engaged to my current husband when I had my now 5 month old daughter. We were married the 30th of March :)

[deleted account]

My daughter was born 2 years after I was married first time and my son was born 5 months after second marriage.

Michelle - posted on 08/08/2011

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we were married 3 years before having my daughter and then waited almost 4 more years to have my son

Holly - posted on 08/06/2011

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We thought we couldn't have kids, due to different health issues...After 9 years we got our first surprise!

Jody - posted on 08/04/2011

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Marisa, being a neat freek and being with one who is not can really work to advantage of the family. Let it be understood that "neat" will always pick up after "not" and then "not" can do some kind of favors for "neat". You will work it out. You can spend HOURS working it out and that is when the FUN slips in.

Samantha - posted on 08/04/2011

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My husband and I were married for all of four months when we fell pregnant but we had been together 10 years before we married. I think if it feels right for you as a couple to have children straightaway after getting married and you've talked about it and both know how the other one feels I don't think it matters and no one should make you feel that you are doing the wrong thing.

Marisa - posted on 08/04/2011

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We got married in '06 and were apart until Oct. 07.. So we got preggies right away in April '08.. It was a difference bcause we were apart that first year when you get used to living with someone.. But after that it's been smooth sailing.. We love each other even without flaws.. He's a neat freak and I'm not..

Natalie - posted on 05/05/2010

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My husband & i were married for 2 years before i fell pregnant. For us, i'm glad it took so long. Although we couldn't wait to become parents, it let us get settled in life together too:)

Karen - posted on 04/30/2010

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Well, we had been together 4 yrs and actually been trying for a baby for 2 yrs BEFORE we got married but we couldnt concieve so we decided to stop trying and just concentrate on the wedding. We had booked a wedding and honeymoon package to get married in the Dominican Republic on July 27th 2006. I actually found out that i was 3 months pregnant in June so when we got married i was actually 4 months pregnant already. It must have been because we were concentrating on the wedding and not getting pregnant, that i actually managed to fall pregnant lol. My son Ciaran was born on the 9th December 2006. We have been together 8 yrs now and married for 4 yrs and have another son, Connor, born 10/01/2010.

Ashley - posted on 04/22/2010

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My husband and I are young we met in high school and after graduation we went our separate ways. We knew mutual friends. But we started dating in Aug. 2008, I left out of town to FL for training with my job. He and I got really close when I left. He would call me up just to tell me he really missed me and wanted me back home. Now i remind you we started dating in early Aug. 2008. By Nov. 2008 we got married. He asked my in taco bell with a sauce packet trying to be funny. The next day we went up to the court house to get license renewed and I joked about going to get marriage license and he agreed. We had already picked out our rings (from where i worked) and thought we had everything planned out. WE WERE going to wait but decided to jump in, so to speak!.. March of 2009 I started this new thing at the time called Nuva ring and ended up getting prego. March 09 i was 3 mnths along. We both almost fell out in the bathroom. We had her Nov 2009

Erica - posted on 04/20/2010

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my husband and i were living together just got engaged 1 1/2 mos before i got pregnant. we were together 1 mos and we just knew it was right and started trying for a baby.. We got together in august, engaged in oct, preg in dec and married in jan 09 and our lil boy was born sept 09.. it happened pretty fast but i wouldnt have it any other way..

Christy - posted on 04/20/2010

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We were married for 10 and a half months before our first baby was welcomed into the family. We've had a baby for each year we've been married.. three !



We wanted to start a family right away since we were in our early 30's when we got married. I do think it made our marriage more of a challenge. We were in the process of adjusting to married life and there were pregnancy hormones throw into the mix. It made our first year very exciting ! Now we are so happy to have three wonderful babies and wouldn't change a thing.

Maria - posted on 04/19/2010

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Although we wanted to wait longer, I got pregnant 2 years after; but now I dont regret it. We're both still very young for parents, (22 and 23) and although we could still be partying by this time- I think we're both happier raising two lovely babies :) :) :)

I do think that how long you wait to have kids matters.. it shapes your marriage in different ways. I think kids right after marriage could lead to a failed marriage, or a very amazing one- same goes for waiting a long time. It all depends on the people.

Karina - posted on 04/19/2010

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My husband and I married July 24, 1999, right out of college. We wanted to enjoy each other and put our degrees to use before we started a family - kind of a five year plan with year 1 being the engagement year. After the 4th year of marriage, we wanted to start our family. Five infertile years later (7 IUIs and 2 IVF cycles) our couple became a family with the addition of our daughter in December 2008.
The infertile years brought my husband and I closer together. We have an even more loving & caring relationship. Plus, the years of watching our friends have children, gave us the advantage of discussing what our parenting styles would be.

Brandi - posted on 04/19/2010

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We were married a year before we decided to have a child and he was born one month before our second anniversary.

Nicole - posted on 04/11/2010

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Our daughter was 18 months old when my husband and I got married.. we'd only been engaged for 7 months before the wedding. I've been with my husband 5 years this year.. and our little girl is 3.. we've since had our 2nd who is 6 months old. I don't think there is a right or wrong time just as long as your both happy and ready ;)

Hailey - posted on 04/08/2010

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I got pregnant then met my husband and we got married before I had my son. We are now expecting #2 and have been married 2 years. We love "our" son and wouldn't change anything. My husband deployed about a month after we got married so having a baby a 3 months later kept me busy. It was nice to not have to be alone while he was gone.

Denise - posted on 04/08/2010

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Thank you Jemena for your kind words. Yeah losing one baby is bad enough but 3............ Our little girl is so special to us and we can't wait to meet her x

Jemena - posted on 04/07/2010

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Denise - OH! I'm so sorry you lost 2 babies! How heart-wrenching! CONGRATULATIONS on your daughter!! THAT'S WONDERFUL NEWS!!

Rachael - posted on 04/07/2010

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I was 3 months pregnant on my wedding day. LoL. some times I wish that we hadn't been (like when I am tired and stressed and want to be selfish and do what I want to do instead of what I should do), but I would never give up my child, she is the apple of my eye.

Colleen - posted on 04/07/2010

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My husband and I were married 9 and 1/2 years before we had our son. Sadly, half of our marriage was spent attempting to conceive our child. It wasn't until our 3rd IVF procedure that Henry was conceived! We just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary this past October!!!

Denise - posted on 04/07/2010

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Me and my wonderful hubby were married 2 months when we found out we were expecting our little boy. Unfortunately we lost him at 19 weeks gestation and went on to lose another 2. We're now looking forward to the arrival of our little girl in 7 weeks. We didn't want to wait because time isn't on my side (I was 40 when we married, am 41 now). I think every couple's different and you should do what you feel right

Jemena - posted on 04/07/2010

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There's no perfect formula for when to have kids. I think it just depends on your maturity level, how patient you are (in regard to dealing with kids), and how selfish you are (cause you need to be pretty much unselfish to raise kids). Generally I'd say it's good to wait to have kids (have them in your 30's or later), for the reasons listed above, but some folks in their early 20's are ready for it, just as some folks in their 30's and 40's aren't. You have to admit, some people should not be allowed to procreate - you know who I'm talking about - people who abuse their kids in various ways (whether it's physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, etc.) or who just plain neglect them. It's funny how you have to jump through all sorts of legal hoops to do other things in society, but there are no tests / requirements that have to be met to bring sweet babies into this world!

Jemena - posted on 04/07/2010

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We knew after 6 months of dating that we wanted to marry each other, but my husband INSISTED on dating for 2 years - like that was some magical number that solves all problems. :-) I argued that some people date for a few weeks or months and have wonderful, fulfilling, non-divorcing marriages, others date for 10+ years and still end in divorce - there's no magical dating formula. He wouldn't budge. So my next tactic was to argue that "if we get married "now" (get engaged now and start planning the wedding), I'll wait 2 years before we start having kids (putting our first child somewhere between my 29th and 31st year, depending on how quick I planned the wedding). OR if we date for 2 years, then we're not waiting for kids after we're married. He still wouldn't budge, SO, after the wedding we never used any contraceptives and found ourselves pregnified 6 weeks after the wedding! YOWSERS!! :-) The funny thing is, is that our son was born almost 8 weeks early (after being on bedrest at the hospital for 2 months), so I could see the wheels in people's heads turning when I told them when he was born / how old he was and them knowing when we got married. HA HA HA!! My response was (to those in the know) "yeah, we spent over $100,000 at the hospital (being on bedrest there and my son's 2 week-stay in the NICU) JUST to cover up being pregnant at my wedding - which I happened to be really skinny at!" (I'm thin anyway, but I'd lost 10 lbs before my wedding, so I was SKINNY!)

Gabriela - posted on 04/07/2010

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Well, we got pregnant about 4 months after we got married, my husband and I dated for 6 months from 1st date to wedding date. I really believe each couple has a magic number, and they can't nor should they really look at other couples to model themselves after. We have been married less then 2 1/2 years and baby #2 is due this summer, I feel as though our choices have continued to grow our intimate relationship and its helped us be better parents, as we see it any way, and that's all that matters to me.

Michelle - posted on 04/07/2010

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My husband proposed to me and a week later we found out that i was a month along already. I was four months when we got married. I am glad that they worked out that way though.

Dana - posted on 04/07/2010

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Our 6 month old is a honeymoon baby, our little Hawaiian souvenir! We both wanted kids right away but I think my husband was a little suprised that 1 week after returning from our honeymoon I found out I was pregnant. We would not have it any other way but our first year of marrage was difficult. Full of life stresors, newly married, pregnant, living 3 hrs apart for the first 3 months because I was finishing my masters degree and he took a job in a different city, moved twice, bought a house and both of us took new jobs. None of what happend that year was bad, infact it was all wonderful. It was just a lot of changes one on top of another. As a result I think our relationship has only grown closer.

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