How long were you married before you had children?

Jamie - posted on 11/30/2009 ( 338 moms have responded )

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My husband were married for 5 years before we had our DD. I am glad that we had waited before we had her, it allowed us to discover who we are as a couple and get settled in life together.



Do you think it makes a difference on the marriage having children right away or not?

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Gina - posted on 01/13/2010

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we were married a year before our son arrived! We were ready we dated for like 7 years.

Sheila - posted on 01/13/2010

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I was with my future husband for 2 years before we had a child and we didn't get married for another 5 years! I wouldn't change the order of how we did things for ANYTHING!!! We knew from day one that we were supposed to be together. He was separated from his wife for a year before I met him and she expected him to pay for the divorce even though she was the one who left him.... my luck, her loss! We didn't have much money, so it took a LONG time for our marriage to come about. I love him sooooo much and I am soooooo lucky I got to him before he could find himself one of those crazy chicks that are out there!!! I guess that would make him luckier than me LOL!

Elizabeth - posted on 01/12/2010

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My husband and I have been married for 4 1/2 years and we are expecting our first. I think it was important for us to wait so we got a chance to get to know each other living together and to grow in our marriage. This is not always the case, my friend Michelle got pregnant on her honeymoon and they are doing great! It all depends on your marriage and your individual needs I think. I know for us it has been great having the time alone first! But we are now excited to share our lives! :)

Nicole - posted on 01/12/2010

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My husband and I got married 2 years after our son was born. We knew we would be together forever and getting married wasn't especially important to us. We went to Vegas. I don't think you have to be married to be committed to a person. We got married because our families kept asking us when it would happen. If not for them and their pressure, we still wouldn't be married. I plan to here by his side for the rest of my life, as he does too.

Frances - posted on 01/12/2010

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My husband and I have been married for 5 years and just decided to have our first child together. I think that couples need to make sure that they are well in tuned with each other before bringing another life into the world.

Chloe - posted on 01/12/2010

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I had Mackenzie and THEN got married. she was 7 months old when I married her daddy. By the way what is DD?

Julie - posted on 01/11/2010

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I waited about two years and that was awhile for us because we did want to start having children right away, we tried and tried. Then we started worrying that we were not going to be able to have children. Once we stopped worrying is when I got pregnant. Our other bundle of joy was unexpected, she came when we had just gotten out of the military and we both were looking for jobs and everything that could be going wrong was, she was the only joy out of that period of my life!!! My children are about 18 months apart and would not want it any other wy

Julie - posted on 01/11/2010

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Just over 5 years when my daughter was born and I too am glad we waited to have children.

Jody - posted on 01/11/2010

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Hi Lisa,
WOW! You must have set some kind of record!
You say "first son". How many children did you have in all?
Jody

Lisa - posted on 01/11/2010

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My husband and I were married only a week when i found out that i was pregnant with my first son.

Jody - posted on 01/11/2010

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Hi Jamie,
My first child was born a week before our first anniversary. We had been married for three months when my husband came into the living room and announced to me that I was pregnant and he had made an appointment for me to see the Doctor the following day. I was shocked because that wasn't how it was supposed to be. What happened to making him a wonderful meal and then over a bowl of Cherries Jubilee, you take his hand and whisper softly that this little family will soon be adding a new member. It was like that in all of the books I had read and in most of the movies I had seen. We went on to have 3 children in the first 5 years that we were married and he told me each time that I was pregnant before I had made the discovery for myself.

We were married 53 fantastic years before he was taken from us. I was so grateful that we had had our children early in our marriage. We were able to enjoy the physical rough and tough play with them when they were young and then we settled into a more steady, quiet form of life as they grew into their adult years.

I would vote for having your children early in a marriage.~~JC

Ingrid - posted on 01/11/2010

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We dated for 2yrs., got married in April, found out I was pregnant in May (on his birthday) and our daughter was born 9mons. to the date of our wedding.

Yolanda - posted on 01/10/2010

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We had our son a year before we were married. I think it's better to be married for a while before having kids.

Kara - posted on 01/10/2010

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Had our son a week after our one year wedding anniversary! It worked for us. It always seemed right for us.

Pat - posted on 01/09/2010

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4 1/2 years after we were married we had our wonderful son. We had a plan going into the marriage and we moved the time table up by a half of year.

Dcen - posted on 01/09/2010

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Engaged 2 years before our daughter was born, Married 1 year after our daughter was born, had our 2nd child 1 year after marriage and loving every minute of it..wouldn't have it any other way (diff strokes for diff folks ;-) )

Michelle - posted on 01/09/2010

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We got married in July of 1993.

We started trying to have a child in the fall of 1994, only because we had been told a couple years before we got married that I had a condition that would most likely cause me to have problems getting pregnant.

Our first child was born in September of 1999.



So it took us 5 years to get pregnant, but knowing what we know now, we wouldn't have changed it for the world. We always wanted them sooner, but we both think we are bettr parents now than we would have been if we had been able to have then younger.

Christine - posted on 01/08/2010

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we were married for 6 months when we found out we were pregnant. our baby is due in feb this year and we cant wait!!!! GOD IS GOOD =)

Helen - posted on 01/07/2010

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1 year and 6 months. We were both approaching our mid 30's and decided to try sooner rather than later. However we knew each other for just a bit less than 4 years before dating and we got married on the 5th anniversary of our first meeting up. We've never had a row in all the time we've been together and communicate how we are both feeling to each other.



We found out we were having Emily a day after our first wedding anniversary.

Deanna - posted on 01/06/2010

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I'M NEW TO THIS CIRCLE OF MOM SITE..BUT I JUST HAD TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION..MY HUSBAND & I WERE MARRIED IN AUGUST OF 1994 AND HAD OUR FIRST CHILD..A GIRL IN DEC. 2005...AND FOLLOWED WITH A SON IN DEC. 2006...SO IT TOOK US 11 YRS TO HAVE A CHILD OF OUR OWN..MY HUSBAND HAS 3 OLDER KIDS FROM HIS PREVIOUS MARRIAGE AND THE YEAR HIS YOUNGEST TURNED 18 I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT..IT IS KIND OF A FUNNY STORY COZ I NEVER KNEW I WAS PREGNANT UNTIL I WAS 7 MONTHS OR SO THEY SAY,LOL
I THINK I'M GONNA LIKE THIS SITE

Teresa - posted on 01/04/2010

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We got married December 24, 2000 and by July, we were pregnant. I guess that would be a year and 3 months.

Christy - posted on 01/04/2010

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I believe if two people are ment to be together it doesn't matter how long you wait to have children...I myself was married 6 days..Yes, 6 days before we had our daughter. I admit we dated 4 years and lived together a year before we got married. This April will make 22 years of us being together and I'm as in love with him now as I was the first year we dated.

Monica - posted on 01/04/2010

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Well We both knew we wanted Kids. But within 3 months of being married I became preg. Yes we both was very Happy..

Melissa - posted on 01/04/2010

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My husband and I were married 10 years and 3 months before we welcomed our daughter. We were married young. I was 18 and he was 20. So, we wanted to get our lives started in the right directions before we had children. Upmost importance to us was buying a house and me getting a teaching job. We had completed both goals before we became pregnant. It was the right choice for us.

Linda - posted on 01/03/2010

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My husband and I knew each other for 3 years before getting engaged, but were only dating for 2 of those 3 years. We were engaged for 13 months before getting married and then tried for our first baby 7 months (and succeeded) after being married! I believe that things happen for a reason.

Kristen - posted on 12/27/2009

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we were married 1 month before we had our first. then immediatly got pregnant with a second, i am due in march. even though we had children really early on, our relationship is still extreamly strong. i think it really depends on how strong your relationship is when you decide to have kids.

Fiona - posted on 12/27/2009

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We had only been married 14 months when my DS was born, but we have been together as a defacto for five years prior to that. I certainly think it influences the relationship, because we certainly struggled and our relationship was very strained the first few weeks of a colic and refulx baby who didn't sleep!

Holly - posted on 12/26/2009

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My first husband and I were married nearly 12 years before deciding we wanted a child, and I got pregnant the second month we tried. Before that, I read several books on having children, and really agree with this point from one of them: having a kid intensifies whatever is in the marriage to start with. So, if you fight quite a bit, you're likely to fight MORE; if you get along really well, that probably won't change. I was widowed when my daughter was 3 but am lucky enough to be happily married again a second time ... so my advice is, if you can, be very sure BOTH of you are ready before you get pregnant. of course, we can't always plan these things! but I'm glad I waited, even though it turned out that meant I could have only one child (as my wonderful second husband already had a vasectomy).

Lise - posted on 12/26/2009

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We were married for 5 years first and I think it was the right amount of time for us. We got to enjoy being husband and wife, got to know each other in that way... We got to be wild and crazy together, before settling down with a baby.

Emilia - posted on 12/24/2009

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Of course having children changes the dynamics of a marriage and waiting is definitely something that I recommend. I was married to my first husband for about 3 years before our oldest was born. With my current marriage we didn't really have that option as we both had children from previous marriages. Between the two of us we have 8 children and 7 seven grandchildren.

I think that with my second marriage it was less of an adjustment as we were both seasoned parents. We did have different adjustments though as there were many more people that were part of our marriage from the beginning, not just the two of us.

Dawna - posted on 12/23/2009

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We had our daughter at about 3 years and 4 months of marriage, but we'd been trying to have children for 3 years and we'd been together for 7 years prior to marriage. If we'd gotten pregnant right away, we'd have had children very soon after marriage, but since we'd lived together for 6 years or so, we knew who we were as a couple, so the time was right for us.

Crystal - posted on 12/22/2009

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We have been together 8 years and we waited 5 years to get married and 2 years to have our baby

Maria - posted on 12/21/2009

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We were married for two years before our first son was born, but we made up for it for the second one, who was born the year after his brother even turned his first birthday! Lol But, for us, it all turned out for the best. We wanted to enjoy our children while we can. My hubby enjoys being able to play sports with our two teenage sons while he still can, health-wise, and that means a lot to both of us.

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My husband and I had been together for 6 1/2 years before our son was born. He was born 1 month to the day before our 4th wedding anniversary. He was a big surprise but I would not change a thing. I have also lost 2 pregnancies. Hopefully one day our sweet little boy will have the sibling he's been wishing for. And we will have the children that we've been wishing for. :)

Cari - posted on 12/19/2009

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Together for 11 years & married for 6 before our baby arrived. After relocating from US to UK, we both needed time to settle in to our new home and life together, but felt 'ready' when we had our baby so it was right for us that way.

Cindy - posted on 12/18/2009

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My Husband and I were married for 4 year before we decided to have our son. I am glad that we waited it gave us time to have "Time to our selfs" and get to know each other as husband & wife.

Leanne - posted on 12/17/2009

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well i had one when i met husband and then we had one together before getting married then had one more after we got married, sso we kind of did it backwards lol

Heather - posted on 12/16/2009

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My husband and I were married for 14months when I got pregnant w/our DD. I think its different for everyone.

Donna - posted on 12/14/2009

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my husband and i were together for 3 years before we got married and it was 5 years before we had our daughter, working on another now she just turned 7!!! i loved our life before we had her but now i couldnt imagine not having her here!!

Jane - posted on 12/14/2009

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We got married 10 months AFTER our son was born (we weren't even together a year when we got pregnant). I have no regrets & everything worked out for us but I do think waiting a while after you get married to have kids can be a good idea because you can really get to know each other better. We did wait 12 years to have our 2nd baby so now we have a 13 year old & an 8 month old.

Mimi - posted on 12/12/2009

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My husband and i were together 4 years before we got married and nine months after our first son was born. O boy what a honeymoon !! :)

Brandice - posted on 12/12/2009

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I married my high school sweetheart at 19 while I was 6 months prego. We separated when my daughter was 4 months old and our divorce was final just after she turned one. I had met my current (not to mention amazing) husband a few weeks before my final court date with my ex. We've been together ever since. He's always been an amazing daddy to my little girl. We lived together for 3 years before we married in June 2008. We had planned to go ahead and try to have another one as soon as we were married, but God surprised us with me finding out I was prego 2 weeks before our wedding. At least this time, I didn't marry just because I was prego. I think having my daughter around and her being so young when we first started dating helped us be ready to have our son right away. I have two amazing kids and a loving husband and wouldn't change a thing. Everything happened just as it was supposed to.

Candice - posted on 12/11/2009

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My husband and I had our first child three months after we were married and our last a year ago.He had two before we ever got married and that gave me the mothering phase that I would get to go through from the very beginning of their lives. I am glad we had them when we were younger so that way by the time our youngest is eighteen my husband will be fifty and we will have some time to spend together and with our grandchildren as well. I wouldn't change it for the world

Myrian - posted on 12/11/2009

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My husband and I were not married when we had our son. I've been with my husband since 1995, we got married in 2002 and still going strong.

Helen - posted on 12/11/2009

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We were married in 2000, Had our little girl in 2003, and our little boys in 2005 & 2008, We had only known eachother for 4mths when we married so it was good for us to be able to go out and spend the first couple of years as 'just' a married couple before welcoming in the madness of parenthood!!! Its worked out great :o)

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I was 7 months pregnant when we were married but we were together 3 years before I got pregnant.

Jennifer - posted on 12/08/2009

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We were married for almost four years before we had our little girl. I don't think it matters if you have children right away or not.

Jennifer - posted on 12/08/2009

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We were married for almost four years before we had our little girl. I don't think it matters if you have children right away or not.

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