Is there anything to talk about??

Tosha - posted on 10/29/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I love my husband. He is the most amazing husband and I couldn't have asked for a better one. Before we had our son we had so much to talk about. Now it seems like all we talk about is about our son or bills. I try to talk to him, but it seems like we have nothing to talk about. I really get tired of hearing him talk about hunting because I used to be able to go and enjoy that with him. Now that I can't it gets on my nerves to hear him talk about it. Therefore I kinda ignore him. =S I'll ask him, "How was work?" The typical questions I used to ask and he says, "Its work." We can't seem to find anything we WANT to talk about. Any pointers on how I can get back to having an actual conversation with my husband? I miss talking to him like we used to. I miss talking to him so bad that it breaks my heart when there is a long silence. We aren't have marital problems, BTW, we just can't find that common ground for conversation. Any help at all would mean a lot. Thanks!

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Tosha - posted on 10/30/2009

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I guess you could say that I am a little jealous because I make sure he can go and do as he pleases. He works so hard for us and I want him to be able to have that relaxation time and it sucks how I haven't got to go and do that with him. Our family don't really keep our son like other families do. But, we made it clear that if they want him to know who they are, they need to be around more. Speaking of..we got a babysitter tonight! =] And you know what I have put my life on hold in some areas. I don't have many friends so I usually just hang out with my son. From now on, I am going to start doing more things I enjoy and just make my son a part of them. Thank you Shelley for opening my eyes and letting me realize what I was doing!

We actually talked a lot last night..ya know the "pillow talk" and my husband told me pretty much the same thing you said, Maria. He doesn't want to talk about work because work wears him out and being a roofer, the work doesn't change except for size. I always asked because I didn't want him to think I didn't care. And I told him that. We have talked more in the past two day then we have in a while!! All I had to do was just let it come! Thank all of you so much! I was really worried that something was wrong. I think I was worrying over it too much that it was just getting worse. I have to say that I am happier now that me and my husband talked, got everything out in the open and have had time to be together like we used to. We have decided to do this a lot more. Once again, thank you all so much for the help! =]

Maria - posted on 10/30/2009

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Sounds to me like you need to get away together and spend some quality time alone, so you can find time to talk and rekindle your romance. It's not like you have nothing in common, you just have expanded your horizon, so to speak. You have your son, it's a different priority. Cut each other some slack; it's just a phase you've never been together as a couple. We've been there, believe me, you'll find a lot to talk about again! Just keep the communications open, no matter what. Maybe your husband doesn't want to talk about work, because he's just gotten back from work, and home is his refuge from work. I know my husband refuse to bring his work home, and I like it that way. Tell him what you did or your son did for the day. I'm also a SAHM, but that doesn't bother me. Tell him how it was when you were dating or before the baby, and you'd like it if he'd call you once in awhile on his breaks, or go out on a movie date. You just need to open up to him what you need for him to know. Sometimes, when we get married, we assume that our husbands can read our minds and know what we want or need. From experience, I realized that they need a little nudge or suggestion, every now and then. Good luck!

Shelly - posted on 10/30/2009

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Tosha,

Sounds to me like there might be a little jelousy creeping in!!! So why can't you go hunting, do you not have ANYONE that could watch the baby??? I'm not sure why women seem to think they should put thier lives on hold when they start having children...You either make arrangements for the child to stay with someone or you take the child with you!!! being a mother does not mean you give up who you are or tat you stop your life to raise this child!!! No you make it so that that child fits into your life style. I have never put my life on hold for any of my children and they have thatnked me for some of the expieriances we have had. My three boys are better travled than most adults in this country. So strap on the ornage back pack and your gun and go hunting with your hubby even if it's only for the day...Quit trying to force a conversation and just let things happen the way they use to ...Just because you have children doesn't mean you are no longer lovers or friends....

Dina - posted on 10/30/2009

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My husband and I often talk about politics - we have the same views, so it's easy. I find discussion about work usually results in irritation because it's pretty much the same from day-to-day, so we don't focus on it as much unless something significant happens. We also text a lot throughout the day - and at night when my husband works. A lot of "I love yous" and a few to spice things up, if you know what I mean :-)

Tosha - posted on 10/30/2009

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We talk just fine when we are on the phone or our son is awake. Its after he goes to bed that we are kinda like, "Hmm. What should we talk about now?" A lot of people have told me it is normal and that a lot of people go through it. I just don't know if it is because I'm a SAHM and don't really talk to anyone while my husband is a work. So, when he is home I just want to talk talk talk talk talk, until we just run out of interesting things to talk about.

Simone - posted on 10/30/2009

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hi, me and my hubby have pillow talk. we call each other alot though out the day, so when he gets home, it is all about the kids and how my day has been with baby. but as soon as hte girls are settled and in bed, we either go bed early and talk about thing because sometimes thats the only time we really get to talk. you should have a time of day where it's just time for you both. we talk about the news, family and just silly things. i thought after i had are daughter are sex life would change but we put alot of time just for us, so just have time for the two of you.

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