Methodist married to a Catholic....

[deleted account] ( 9 moms have responded )

Recently my best friend asked me to be the Godmother to her new born son. I was over the moon. Then my husband mentioned that it is odd for a Catholic to ask a Methodist, or anyone who isn't Catholic, to be their child's Godparent. I didn't think anything of it until my MIL said the same thing. I brought it up to my friend and she called the church and found at that it is in fact true, and that I can't be the baby's Godmother. Of course I has unhappy to hear this; but I am still happy to be an honorary "Auntie".

Anyway, I got to thinking, if they are that strict does that mean that the Catholic church wouldn't even recognize that my husband and I are married? We were married in the Methodist church that I had been going to since I was 13yrs old. He thought about it too and said probably not. My questions are, 1) does anyone know if this is true, and 2) what are your feelings on the subject?

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[deleted account]

I'm sorry but personally there are times that the Catholic church sounds more like a cult then a church. I'm Methodist, a Pastors daughter. I have studied many different religions (not in great depth, but enough to know thats crazy.) As a Methodist we may not agree with you but we can't tell you God doesn't see you as married because your not Methodist. We can't tell you that God doesn't love you or you are wrong for not being Catholic. All God cares is you have taken Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and believe he died and arose again for you sins. A Godparent is to be a helping guide in insuring your are raised in a Christian, loving enviroment. Ok off my soapbox!

(Side note: Megan said she was married in the Catholic church to a man who wasn't anything...my Greatgrandmother was excommunicated for marrying a man who wasn't Catholic. Atleast somethings have changed)

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Angela - posted on 07/20/2012

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Catholics DO recognise Christian marriages in non-Catholic Christian Churches! They only say that a couple where either (or both) is a CATHOLIC that the marriage is invalid (as in not recognised by the Church) if it took place anywhere other than in a Catholic Church. There are exceptions and as a Catholic you may be able to get the Church's blessing on a marriage taking place somewhere other than a Catholic Church if you arrange a special dispensation from a Bishop or the Pope or someone like that - before you marry.

Of course if you come to the Catholic Church as a convert (say you and your spouse both convert to Catholicism) they wouldn't dream of saying you're not truly married because you married in some other Church before you both became Catholics.

There are various loopholes for Catholics marrying in the Catholic Church after divorce ... If (for example) you married your former spouse in a civil ceremony or a non-Catholic Church, you were never truly married to begin with (in their eyes) so you can marry your next spouse with full Roman Catholic bells and whistles in their Church as long as you satisfy their other conditions!

I abandoned the Roman Catholic Church some years ago. Never regretted it.

Kristie - posted on 05/30/2012

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I am Catholic,hubby was raised Catholic, Southern Baptist, Baptist, Mehodist, you name it he probably was that. He isn't affliated with any church or religion now, but believes in GOD. I don't go to church(although if I did I'd be kicked out), a Catholic marrying non Catholic. The church did that to my MIL. If we were to get married in a Catholic church hubby would have to take classes to switch to Catholicism. My step mom did that before marrying my dad. Mind you my grandpa was an Irish catholic and him and Grandma went to church every week and were involved in church socials and things. As my mom doesnt go to church I guess my Grandparrents won out and walla my brother and I are raised Catholic. My kids are not baptised nor go to church(unless hubby's uncle takes the kids), they enjoy church alot. DOn't know what religion to raise them. I guess they will choose for themselves

Maria - posted on 05/26/2012

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Well, that's one for the books! I'm Catholic and my husband is non-practicing Methodist and we were married in a Catholic Church. The only thing that was required of us is to go through what is called a week-long seminar as a couple, since we were already married by a judge at a city hall prior to a church wedding a year before, since we were saving up money for the church wedding. That was 22 years ago. Our best man is Jewish, he was never kicked out of the Church, if that's what you mean. He's also my oldest son's Godfather. And the priest was told beforehand. He didn't see any reason to turn down what would considerably be a gift to our son, be the second parent.

[deleted account]

Yes it is true. My husband and I got our marriage blessed about a year and a half after, so that it would be reconginized with the church. The only reason we weren't married in the church is that most of our family wouldn't go or would have been very uncomfortable there.

The reason for the Godparent part, is that the Godparent is supposed to be the example of what a good Catholic is. You can't really do that without being Catholic. It has nothing to do with guardianship if something were to happen to the parents.

Alexandria - posted on 11/17/2011

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My family is Jewish, though I have had a personal relatonship with Jesus since I was very young, but still proud of my family heritage. My husband's family is Catholic. We fell in love when we were kids and no difference of religious background was going to come between that. We took flax on both sides for it back before our families realized we were so serious about each other and how good we are together. I even had a Catholic priest that I had befriended tell me I was going to ruin my husband if I married him, when we were engaged. The thing is, it's a technical issue that matters other people, not to us. We feel God's grace brought us together. We both respect where the other comes from. I would love to learn more about his religion and he's expressed a desire to know more about Judiasm though I've never been in a Catholic church ever in my life and he's never been in a temple. Love is love. If it lasts forever, does it matter that we come from different up bringings? I think not. But if it really matters to you, I guess one of you could convert! lol ;) ? Good luck! Dont stress it!

On the God mother issue, you could still be named as legal guardian of the child in the event that the parents couldn't take care of the child, which is an important thing for your friend to establish in writing, who ever they pick. I would chose the person I trust most in the world to be my child's guardian, regardless of their religion. I'm sure my old friend the priest would quickly correct me here. To each their own I suppose.

[deleted account]

I wasn't worried if my marriage would be recognized or not. I was mostly just venting. I just find it silly that even though I have almost the same beliefs as my friend, because I am Methodist and not Catholic I can't be the Godmother to her child.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 10/27/2011

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I was raised Catholic and my first husband was nothing and we were married in the Catholic Church. Our Marriage was valid by the rites of the Catholic Church. In fact as far as I know marriages performed by one church are still recognized and you'd have to get the first one anulled before being married again in the Catholic church.

I don't see the point though in worrying if your marriage is valid by someone's religion. As long as your marriage is valid to you and your spouse. My Catholic church marriage lasted as long as a sneeze IMO. I was remarried in March by a Justice of the peace because my 1st marriage was never anulled and my DH is an atheist.

Lynn - posted on 10/16/2011

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gosh this is a touchy subject.... There are all different beliefs in each religion. So I am sure that even though some churches have the same title, their beliefs and opinions may differ. I lived in a small town for a good bit of my life in minnesota. and there were several churches in each town and even out in the country. there were two Lutheran churches in a small town a few miles away from where i lived and one supported homosexuality and one did not. And this is a major subject! so I think a lot of churches share a title but have different beliefs they chose to follow.

I grew up in a Pentecostal church.... But i married a man that was just starting to believe in God... And when we had our son, we decided to have a dear friend of mine be his Godmother, and she is Baptist. But our view of her being our sons Godparents is simply that if something were to happen to my husband and I, she would raise our son. We trust her to bring him up and try to lead him in the right direction.... When I looked up the definition just now of what a "Godparent" is, it explained the role of a godparent, and it even pointed out "In the Roman Catholic Church godparents must be of the Catholic faith."

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