MWWH

Lynn - posted on 10/15/2009 ( 21 moms have responded )

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The reason I created this site is because I think being married to a man that is wonderful is getting more and more rare now days. It is so great when a man can be a great husband and a great father. I think being legally married to someone is something special. I think when a man is willing to stand in front of a large crowd, and announce to everyone that he wants to marry a woman, he is declaring himself as belonging just to her, and he is declaring her as his own. I think that is so great.

I am a Christian woman. And I believe that a man and woman should be married especially when they have children. I think its important for a child to have a stable home. i dont care if they are step children, foster children, or adopted children, or natural children, or blended families. I believe it is important for a child to be in a stable home, and their parents should be positive role models and encourage them to do the right thing.

I am not trying to claim to be perfect myself. My parents did not get married until I was 5. They got divorced when i was about 16. And I got pregnant before I was married to my Wonderful husband. And we married 7 months before our child was born. I dont believe anyone is perfect, but I do believe we should try to be as good as we can be for ourselves and our children.

Mothers write me when they get blocked, and ask why. Some of them are more harsh then those simple words, and some people as why, and then respect my opinion. In MY opinion, marriage is something different then any other form of relationship. So I created this website for happily legally married people. I realize that some people believe that common law marriage and being engaged and dating for 20 years is just like being legally married. But I do not agree. People write angry emails to me, about how my opinion and thoughts are wrong. But thats alright. everyone is different.

Ok, this is getting kind of long. I just thought I would reach out and open up.

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Christy - posted on 10/21/2009

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It's nice that there are still people out there who will stand up for the importance of marriage!!!!!!! And the fact that it's important in the eyes of God! I agree with your views! Stay strong sister! If we are not an example, who will be? Btw, my husband is AWESOME!!!!!!! :)

Jodie - posted on 10/17/2009

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As I just said in my "new member...hello' post, I am excited to see this community. THank you for creating it!!! I agree with you 100%. It's only through God given grace that we are blessed as we are, and forgiven for our wrong doings. It's what we do with Him and our choices after chosing to follow His ways that we have to worry about!

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Bryophyte - posted on 02/16/2014

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I have a husband who is wonderful and we have a stable home for our children. He is a great father to them and has an incredible bond with all 3 of them. We have been together for over 14 years but wait.... We are not legally married. Doesn't mean that the bond me and my husband share isn't as strong as that of a married couple. Or that our home is not as stable as that of legally married couples. We consider each other our spouse eventhough we are not legally married because for us, marriage is the bond you build with your partner not what that piece of paper says. I can guarantee that we have a stronger relationship and that our kids are in a more stable home than many families who are legally married. We are also teaching our kids to do the right thing and being good role models for them. After all, isn't what all parents want for their kids is for them to be happy kind hearted adults who have good morals and have a successful career. We are teaching them how to be kind towards others as well as teaching them the value of hard work. So please enlighten me as to why my marriage is different than a legal marriage. Why are my kids not going to grow up in a stable environment. Is my relationship then less valuable? I too have a wonderful husband. I don't think god will look down upon me for not being legally married, he has blessed our union in more ways that I could ever ask for and for that I am gratefull

Heidi - posted on 11/09/2009

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Quoting Lynn:

Its so funny how engaged people say that marriage is no different then being married except for a piece of paper. And then us married ladies show glee and are proud once we are married. There is a big difference between being married and almost married. I get hate mail all the time about blocking people from here just because they arent married. This is a site for moms with wonderful HUSBANDS. I am glad that you, Nicole, appreciate this site and know how to value a marriage.


What I don't understand about the hate mail you get is that anyone can create a site. So why don't they set up a site for common-law/engaged/dating women with wonderful husbands. What is the big deal. This is a online community.... lots of room for everyone. This section just happens to be for MARRIED women.  Sorry, but those crazy people that send you hate emails need to just start their own site! Seriously, it seems ridiculous to me! Being married is different than not. It truely is. Marriage is for some people and not for others. No one is saying that those that don't believe in marriage are wrong, it's a matter of opinion.



I am legally married, we had a licensed officiant perform a wedding ceremony (while we chose a non-religious one) we are married in the eyes of the law, our family, our friends and yes, God. That is what MARRIAGE is!



I still can't believe that people send you hate mail, Lynn. There are some strange people out there! If they don't like the site... make your own! Sheesh.



P.S. Lynn, I like this site very much! Thank you! :D

Judy - posted on 11/09/2009

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Quoting andrea:

why is it that a piece of paper makes a relationship blessed by god? can't he see inside of us and know our true thoughts and intentions? i have been a witness to what a bad marriage,and messy divorce, can do to a child. whats the big deal? if two people love each other and make a loving caring life for themselves and their children isn't that what god would want? what makes everyone think that god cares about a piece of paper?


When I said the paper only finishes it off...I said it wrong. The papaer is needed for SOME hearts, others no...the committment is the marriage. Sorry for teh confusion Andrea. I think we areo n the same page...BTW, we have witnessed severl marriages (without)paper, and the marriages are strong and perfect wihtout government  involvement at all!

Julie - posted on 11/06/2009

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You know, I have walked both sides of the fence....Engaged for 7 years and married for nearly three. And I have to agree with you, Lynn. Marriage is a definite plus! (Before I was married I also thought it was just a piece of paper...) My most wonderful, awesome and amazing husband was not always that way, our early years were tough and we had a child...he wanted to get married as soon as he found out I was pregnant( I flatly refuse to get married because I was pregnant!) He was going to marry me if he wanted me as a wife..Til death do us part! Point is, we fought we argued but we also learned about each other, we always listened to each other and have worked out all the things we need to and still keep working at it. Marriage is not only a piece of paper, It is a commitment( of witch I seen and felt the difference it made in my hubby) that you cannot walk away from so easily, and with faith and patience and unconditional love Marriage is special. All bets aside I prefer being married because I know my husband wants Me and is not willing to sacrifice me for any old whim....Good luck to all you girls out there and I wish that all women could have a great husband like mine, who by the way is an awesome daddy to both our kids!

Andrea - posted on 11/06/2009

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why is it that a piece of paper makes a relationship blessed by god? can't he see inside of us and know our true thoughts and intentions? i have been a witness to what a bad marriage,and messy divorce, can do to a child. whats the big deal? if two people love each other and make a loving caring life for themselves and their children isn't that what god would want? what makes everyone think that god cares about a piece of paper?

Judy - posted on 11/06/2009

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Quoting Lynn:

Its so funny how engaged people say that marriage is no different then being married except for a piece of paper. And then us married ladies show glee and are proud once we are married. There is a big difference between being married and almost married. I get hate mail all the time about blocking people from here just because they arent married. This is a site for moms with wonderful HUSBANDS. I am glad that you, Nicole, appreciate this site and know how to value a marriage.


In our faith we honor committment , not so much the paper, BUT we c  ousel all the time that the marriage is that place when you have decided in your heart and among & In front of friends that you and your spouse have become one. That's the marriage, the paper finishes it off . We atlk to each other in our group, when there is strife we talk to gether. It seems to work. I'm not down on the paper, Just reminding that you MUST come together in honest committment to form the lasting union!

Lynn - posted on 11/05/2009

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Its so funny how engaged people say that marriage is no different then being married except for a piece of paper. And then us married ladies show glee and are proud once we are married. There is a big difference between being married and almost married. I get hate mail all the time about blocking people from here just because they arent married. This is a site for moms with wonderful HUSBANDS. I am glad that you, Nicole, appreciate this site and know how to value a marriage.

Nicole - posted on 11/05/2009

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I personally love the idea of the site as a newbie. I feel guilty sometimes "bragging" to my friends about how truly great my husband is because they don't have that (most). I respect other people's decisions (which I have done at some point in time too) to live together for a ridiculous amount of time unmarried or date/be engaged for years, I do believe actually being married is completly different. It is more serious, atleast when you value marriage the way I do. My parents were married when they planned (as were my husband's) and had me and I felt my children deserved and were special enough to experience the samething. Now all marriages aren't good and aren't healthy for kids, but honestly, marriage has been relatively easy over these 5 years because when we come across issues, we deal with them together, putting God and us first. Also, what a wonderful standard to build your children's moral foundation? I'm just saying. Keep up the good work!

Judy - posted on 11/01/2009

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I'm 56 years old, been married to my wonderful(but not always) hubby for over 35 yeras. WE had our young and rebelious days, spatted, differed. But that was before we grew up somewhere around 40! Some years ago, I found I had birth defects in my intestines and would need surgery. Got...the doc botched it and my new life began. I had to find someone to fi, go thru surgery again and all that faoolowed. I have many issues to this day and could not do it without Bruce. At the drop of a hat, what ever I need, he gets. So often I have no appetite, so if anything tastes right hell make it or get it. Recently I found out I have Celiac disease along with a whole list of stuff...wheat intolerability is the latest. He gets me the flours I beed to abke...he listens to me trying to explain what hurts and how much. I feel badly telling him., don't want to be whiny...so he says, it makes it feel less if you share it, right? Yesterday he bought me(another) dragonfly(=NewLife)...I know , I know there's love between the wings!

Shelly - posted on 10/30/2009

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Lynn,

Oh how right you are...The thing about being legally married is that you have stood before God and your friends and family and made a vow to love, honor, and charish each other for the rest of your lives...To were if you are just dating for 20 yrs or just engaged you have never let the world know that this is it this is the person that I'm willing to call my spouce and I feel like anyone that is just living together and makes the comment that oh a piece of paper doesn't matter is 1. lying to themselves or 2. is not as committed to the person they are with any way...

Elena - posted on 10/28/2009

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I am married to a wonderful man. We got married August 15, 2009. I know it's not a long time but we have been together for 3 years and we have been through so much. We are a young couple, he is 23 and I am 22. People my age are going out to clubs, drinking and partying but we both have no desire for that. My husband was raised by a horrible man who constantly put him down, abused him physically and stole money from on a daily basis. From my past experience, men who are raised by fathers like that usually end up acting just like them. However, I am truely blessed. My husband decided at a young age to not be like his father. He is an amazing father to our 10 month old son. My husband is working as a paramedic almost 80 hours a week and goes to school. He does this to make sure that me and my son never have to worry about anything. I do not have to work so I am able to stay home with our son and finish my teaching degree. My husband would rather be at home changing diapers and cleaning up spit up than being out with friends partying at the beach. My husband has never drank alcohol, done drugs or even gone out to a club his whole life. I am truely blessed to have found a man who loves our son and me unconditionally. It is sooo hard to find a man his age who is so wonderful and genuine. I love my husband and son and could not ask for more!!

Lynn - posted on 10/27/2009

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Thats a really good point. In a marriage, you can not just walk away. There is so much more of a commitment there. I am glad you mentioned that part. Its true, it just never came to my mind.

I feel there is such a difference between True Legal marriage, then any other status.

Maria - posted on 10/23/2009

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My husband & I have been married for a little over 4yrs(together for 11yrs), we have 2 beautiful girls(10 & 3yrs) & a son(15 that he's raised) and MANY people consider me to be a lucky woman because my husband rather me take care of kids n home(which in a way is also my choice because I don't want to bother anyone in watching my little one while others are in school)...We have our ups & downs like any couple but we try to always work it out and find a solution(especially in raising our kids). Marriage is very hard & you can't walk away from it like when you are just in a relationship. I'm glad that I lived with my husband before getting married because by that time I all ready knew his style of living. You have to work hard if you want a marriage to last because if you don't it just goes down hill and the betrayals beginning(in some).

I thank GOD everyday for the family I have.

Christy - posted on 10/21/2009

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Hi, I agree that marriage is a God given grace. I am no perfect eithe but I realize that there is wisdom that Gos gives through the covenant relationship of mariage. It is often wisdom that cannot easily be explained to those who are single. I believe that marriage and children aid us in our understanding of the character of God and the amazing amount of love he has towards us.

Lynn - posted on 10/15/2009

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Quoting Crystal :

I am common law married to my husband... not bc we have been living together for a certain amount of time but bc we actually signed for it. And if we were to get seperated we would have to get a divorce.

I do believe in common law marriage as being legally married!!
Now just being together for a long time or living together for a certain amount of time..No! That is not legally married!


You say you legally signed for it.  Do you mean like in a court?

Jenifer - posted on 10/15/2009

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I have been married to my wonderful husband for almost 8 years now and we have only gotten to this point through lots of hard work. It hasnt been easy, but i refuse to divorce. My father raised me and my mom was not around. My dad had several girl friends over the years and so my "womanly" influance was my aunt. she did the best she could to offer advice over the years. I also turned to friends moms for advice and support through my teen years.



Being married to my husband has been a challenge because i did not have a mother and a constant person to look up to, to show me the '' correct '' way to be a good wife. Not until i found the Lord Jesus Christ to be my lord and savior, did i begin really understanding what it ment to be a good wife and mother. I have made some drastic changes in my life and how i treat my husband and my children. And i have seen some drastic changes in how my husband treats me. having a good husband takes being a good wife.



I wanted to say to all the other moms out there and other wives who are struggling that you need to focus on what is important to your life. Dont be quick to give up on your marrige I almost did but i was determinded to be part of the statistic. i stuck it out and found things are now up and it has been that way for a while.



I love you John.

Crystal - posted on 10/15/2009

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I am common law married to my husband... not bc we have been living together for a certain amount of time but bc we actually signed for it. And if we were to get seperated we would have to get a divorce.



I do believe in common law marriage as being legally married!!

Now just being together for a long time or living together for a certain amount of time..No! That is not legally married!

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