Need Help with dad anxiety!!!

Elizabeth - posted on 09/06/2010

Be aware that some Dads are more paranoid than others, my husband and I have been blessed with no real difficulties with our children and yet he's still very protective. My friends often joke about just how quickly he will pick up the kids when they cry, whimper, look at him!! I don't think men cope as well with babies crying, you should hear my husband when one of the kids starts crying while his driving!! I know this doesn't answer your question but I thought I'd mention it anyway, because it can be hard to get them to see what is best for the baby/family isn't always the least painful for them!!

Kylie - posted on 09/02/2010

Our young lady who decided to come 7.5 weeks early also had breathing/feeding diffculties. Our daughter was in hospital for 4wks in ICU and we didn't experience any of the issues you described in the home. She too has no health/development issues and she is nearly 3. We too had (and still do in some respects) a very over anxious Dad who takes his protective role extremely seriously. We were given many books we didn't relate too however we were given a book my husband calls "the manual" which is Save our Sleep by Tizzie Hall. I am not one to preach and I don't normal recommend books as most of them are just s$%t. The routines and advice suited my husband and the techniques were things he adapted to really easily. Some better than me and I was home 99% of the time when she was little. Give it a go and see if it suits him, you and above all your little girl. Good luck. Note: Our experience has frightened my husband to the point of not having any more children. If you try everything and he is still anxious, I hope you seek assistance to help your relationship early.

Alyssa - posted on 08/31/2010

I'm glad to hear your little girl is doing fantastic! I couldn't imagine something like that! I would believe it being so hard on you and your husband.

If he is willing to just sit down and listen and not be biased see if you can talk to him first. Don't be pushy about it but let him know that in the long run laying down a routine now is only going to HELP your daughter later. If he has any younger siblings you might want to ask him if he remembers what his mother did. There's a chance he'll remember and she'll have done it just like every other mother. He may see it, he may not. If you can't get him to talk to you for your daughter's future (not for you or him, for your daughter) then maybe he'll need to talk with your daughter's pediatrician to understand that its OK for a baby to fuss a little when you're making changes in the daily routine.

You're absolutely right, easy is not right in the long run but don't push that on him. See if you can talk to him first. He may need reassurance from others with children that this is OK. First time is difficult and hopefully this turns out for the better for all three of you!

Sophie - posted on 08/31/2010

hi melssa, im sorry the two of you are arguing over your little one. the same way its difficult for us a mothers , im sure it is very diffuclut for your husband to deal with "his little girl" suffering , especally a scare you two had when you brought her home. here is a website , you should look into.. hope it helps.. and keep me posted....http://www.mrdad.com/ask/2010/01/06/high...