Ridiculed for being happy

Teresa - posted on 07/09/2009

We have been married for 23 years. I also do not like to hear husband bashing. My husband is a wonderful man who has always been there for me. I'm glad there are so many other happy couples out there.

Stacey - posted on 07/06/2009

WOW! A support group for happily married women is a great idea!
I may start one myself!

Sonya - posted on 07/05/2009

Congrats to you on such a great turn out! I've been hitched for 13 years with a 12 and 10 year old. I have the same feeling often. Being a stay at home mom seems to just magnify it. My hubs and I just find our own road through it all and it's great to hear others are doing the same happy dance with their partners.

Jenny - posted on 05/25/2009

We get ridculed all the time by my work collegues as they allways trash their men at work. When they ask me about my Keiron they say i'm lying and that no ones that happy. No we're not happy all the time and we do have little blips but thats life and things aren't all rose tinted glasses. It's hard work being in a good relationship and people should stop being imature and jealous of wht we have. If they put the effort in they would have it too x

Heidi - posted on 05/25/2009

No need to be sorry for being a passionate person. I think its great. You are right the world is full of divorce and the happy marriages are becoming less and less. I know for a fact I am very happy with my marriage. We have been married for just over 8 years. I still get the butterflies when I hear my husbands voice on the phone when he calls from work and when I hear the garage door open when he comes home from work. Its the best feeling in the world knowing that you are happy and in love. So yes we are the minority, but embrace it for all its worth!

Robin - posted on 05/22/2009

I can't believe how many women I know who complain about their husbands & put them down. I can't chime in with the conversation... not because my husband is perfect but because I love & respect him!

Beth - posted on 05/19/2009

So as of Sundaymy husband and I have been together for 15 years!!!! Our wedding anniversary is December but our "we have been together" anniversary is in May. A lot of our friends think that we still act like newlyweds. We are really and truly in love with each other. I always tell them it has not been without it's ups and downs. We worked and we worked harder at some times than others especially when we were newly married with tweo babies in two years. Now the work is not that hard at all..... we love each other and our family. We have eliminated the negativity from our life and not allowed others to influence our love for each other and our family. I actually have even been blessed with my first grandchild (my oldest step daughter had a baby). These last 15 years have been a trip and I can't wait for the next 15. I hope you all are deeply loved today and every day!!!!!

Rosa - posted on 05/18/2009

Don't know that I'll find this again, so had to throw my hat in the ring.



We just celebrated 13 years and he is truly my best friend. We think the same...we do that crazy thing where we can complete each others sentences and say and respond to things at the same time in the same way. I know, totally cheesy.



I do wonder if people sometimes think we do home and poke each others eyeballs out, but nope, not really.



What a refreshing forum. Usually, I get the feeling people are thinking, "C'mon, I know there's something! Dish." LOL

Sonja - posted on 05/17/2009

Hi Beth, it is sometimes a little strange to be the one that is happy and not complaining about my husband in the midst of so many who do. However, I have not been ridiculed for being happy. We have been married for 24 years now. During our 16th year we went through a really hard time, but came through it and are stronger and more in love than ever now. He truly is my soulmate. It is all good. It makes my heart sing to see so many women post about their happy relationships with their husbands here. What a joy!

Kristi - posted on 05/17/2009

I would have to agree that it seems our type aren't found very often. About 6 months ago I started watching my friends marriages or long-term relationships start falling apart. My husband and I have only been married for a little under 2 years but have been together for over 6 years and still have yet to have a real true fight. We still flirt, play around, and have a great give and take relationship. Now that we have our daughter our love has only increased and has actually improved our relationship. Seeing my friends the way they are makes me even more grateful for the type of relationship my husband and I have and wish that everyone could have a relationship like ours...well as happy as ours anyway.

Anita - posted on 05/17/2009

Quoting Tracie:

Hi Patti,

You are so right about having God first in your marriage...My Husband and I are born again Christians as well and we live by the bible. I think we don't do whatever it takes to make it work so you can have a happy marriage. Marriage is work and you have to work at it everyday, but the reward is so fulfilling...I love being married and making my husband happy. I think the most important thing is if some of us as wives understand that we are called to help and serve our Husband, that will be half the battle.

Whenever you do things the right way (marriage included) it is always blessed. Our marriages may not be perfect, but I'm so glad to be together and to have mutual love and respect.

Marg - posted on 05/17/2009

never be sorry for being happy! wonderfull for you.

Tracy - posted on 05/13/2009

It's so great to s ee so many couples happily married couples.Divorce is too easy now.

I've been happily married for just over 12 yrs & love my husband more than life,he is my best friend.Life would be so empty without him.

We have people who comment on how sickly it is the way we are so in love but I don't care what anyone says as I love my husband & want the world to know it...

Tam - posted on 04/13/2009

My husband and I have been married nearly 13 years and while things have not always been perfect, they've certainly been worth every moment and those "moments" helped us grow and cherish each one even more. He is just awesome and a definitely answer to a prayer! Like you all, have been ridiculed or teased because they just didn't understand that we genuinely not only love each other, we like and respect each other and defer to the other when it comes to making decisions on almost everything. We took the "and the two shall become one" to heart! :) He's the other half of my heart and I'm not ashamed to say so. I LOVE MY HUSBAND and think he is AWESOME! :)

MaryJo - posted on 04/10/2009

i have been with my husband for 12 years married for 8 years. we have 2 wonderful children. We get along great together. I would be lost without him. i am glad to hear that there are other couples out there doing so well. I feel like most of my friends have horrible husbands and when i say that my husband is great they think i'm weird.

Amanda - posted on 04/09/2009

I totally feel the same way! I get around my girl friends and I am almost embarrassed that I don't have any complaints about my husband! He is so supportive and listening to the way other women's husbands are, I start to feel silly that I don't join in... This isn't actually making sense the way that I am actually feeling, but i am so happy that other people love their husbands, other people have support and kindness in their marriages!

Thanks for the post!

Tracie - posted on 04/09/2009

Hi Patti,

You are so right about having God first in your marriage...My Husband and I are born again Christians as well and we live by the bible. I think we don't do whatever it takes to make it work so you can have a happy marriage. Marriage is work and you have to work at it everyday, but the reward is so fulfilling...I love being married and making my husband happy. I think the most important thing is if some of us as wives understand that we are called to help and serve our Husband, that will be half the battle.

Patti - posted on 04/08/2009

Hi there, Beth. How true you are! What a sadly true observation. I have to say that even though marriage is not perfect, you can still be happy! My husband and I are both born again Christians and we believe that what the bible teaches about marriage (and life too!) is something lacking in most marriages today. So many couples bail out and run when their spouse is the one person they should be able to count on ESPECIALLY when things are not going perfect. I love it that there are other happy couples out there that stick together and remain happy through all the seasons of marriage.

Nadia - posted on 04/08/2009

My husband and I have been together for 15 years, married for 5. I grew up in a household with a troubled marriage. I used to wish my parents would just get divorced so that I could have some peace. They are still together to this day, which just baffles me. Why would you stay with someone that makes you so miserable? I must admit I was pretty scared to get married. Kept waiting for my happy bubble to burst. Friends kept telling me "just wait until you get married, things will change". We are still very happy. My husband is wonderful and I am very lucky. Getting married did not change anything. He is my best friend and we show each other every day how much we love each other. It is sad how many of my friends rarely get hugs or kisses or told how much they are loved. I get countless hugs and kisses every day and told I am loved several times a day. It is the little things that make us happy and the small casual gestures. Making a cup of tea without being asked, a blanket when he thinks I look like I would like one, turning the light on when I am reading, bringing me home a chocolate because he knows I like chocolate.. the little things he does every day.. :)

Laura - posted on 04/07/2009

I've been happily married for 5 years and we have two kids, a 5 year old son and 1 year old daughter. I feel the same way. And with what happened to my parents makes me mad to know that it happens more than I thought. My parents got divorced because my mom fooled around on my dad and the really crappy part was that it was the assistant pastor of my church that I've known ever since I was little. To this day my mom doesn't think she did anything wrong. She blames everything on my dad. My dad on the other blames himself and her for the divorce. He wishes he would have tried a lil harder to get her to open up, but I watched everytime he tried she ignored him. The assistant pastor is now my step dad and I have a two year old half brother that I love dearly. And there are definitely times when I feel left out because I'm so happy wouldn't give it up for the world.

Cindy - posted on 04/07/2009

When we were dating, everyone said, 'just wait until you get married'

When we got married, everyone said, 'just wait until you have been married a year'

When we celebrated our first year, everyone said, just wait until you've been married 5 years

When we celebrated 5 years, everyone said, just wait until you've been married 7 years (huh?)

When we celebrates 8 years, everyone said, just wait until you've married 12 years.

When we celebrated 12 years, some said, just wait until you have teenagers.

Now that we just celebrated 17 wonderful years together, we are still waiting, but I am not sure what for? For it to get better? :)  Can't wait!

Elsabe - posted on 04/07/2009

Ok, I have to admit something. My marriage isn't quite perfect and when I look around me it seems like everyone I've known is busy divorcing or is divorced, sadly including my own parents! I don't have any close friends and usually end up with my mom and her circle of friends instead. But they too always (and I mean always, not just sometimes) moan about their husbands.



That's exactly the reason I've joined this group, because I want the positive influence to help me become more positive in my marriage, because I truly love my hubby with every breath I take.



Can you imagine what would happen if women stopped telling each other about all the wrong and bad things their husbands do and only tell about the good and positive??



I've only been married for 2 1/2 yrs, together for 7. But I'm making a concious effort to not make the same mistakes and to be careful that I only say good things about my husband to anyone else and take the things that bother me to God in prayer.

Linda - posted on 04/06/2009

I can totally relate to what you are saying...it is almost as if people hate you for being happy and in love. I completely and unconditionally love my husband and am proud to show that love to anyone who happens to be watching.

Sharon - posted on 02/03/2009

WOW! I thought my marriage was a freak of nature. I have been with my husband 8 yrs but only married for 1 1/2. We honestly have had only 1 argument (over whether a 6 yr old should ride a BIG atv!) and even then- there was no yelling or screaming. All of our friends are always complaining about their spouses and I don't think the believe me when I say we have no problems. And it's not because we are exactly alike so there is nothing to argue over-- it's that I know what makes him mad, he knows what makes me mad and we just don't do it!

We also use a lot of patience- Yeah, he leaves the seat up, but then, I leave it down! LOL---He ALWAYS makes sure to take care of me and he truly "walks beside me" and not in front of me. This is his 3rd and my 2nd marriage and I honestly can't believe how lucky and fortunate I am to have someone like him in my life. There are times when telling him "I love you" just isn't 'good' enough & by that I mean it doesn't cover how strongly I feel about him.

I wish that ALL people could be half as happy as we are--- the world would be better off!

Kasey - posted on 01/29/2009

Jason and I have only been together for a couple of years but we also have been through a lot together! We have such an amazing bond with each other it almost feels like a fairytale.. I hear a lot of women complaing about their husbands, not in a joking manor but truly complaining about them.. I dont understand this because I am literally completly in love with Jason and thats why we are together! We work together on Parenting and building our lives together! We always communicate and we dont stress about money situations! Money seems to be a BIG issue in a lot of marriages/relationships and communication ive noticed! Props to us for having such wonderful husbands and not having to pickthrough the dead beats anymore out there to find a decent man!

Victoria - posted on 01/24/2009

i know how you feel, i know 3 years isnt very long but we get along great i know that he is my soul mate, all our friends are alway screaming at each other. i say that communication is the key. i know that i need him and he needs me, now we have a beautiful baby girl.some people find true happiness and i feel that we one of the seemingly few happy couples

Lauri - posted on 01/24/2009

I have a lot of single mom friends and they just don't get it. My husband helps with EVERYTHING and we are still so much in love after so many years, they told me they were jealous and wanted what I had..........I just don't think they are unselfish (is that a word?)enough yet. 

Katie - posted on 01/23/2009

Hi Beth,

First of all, don't let ANYONE rain on your parade.  I applaud you for being happily married after 14 years, a great marriage takes a lot of care and nurturing, from both spouses. I have to believe that there are other peers in your community who feel as happy in their marriages as you do in yours. Maybe it is time to seek out a different circle of peers. Look for friendships with like-minded women who will lift you up and sustain you instead of trying to bring you down to their level of unhappiness. They are the ones who love and respect their husbands. They are also the ones who will put an arm around you and let you cry on their shoulder when things aren't fabulous- we all have those days! What they won't do is have an "I told you so" attitude. These women are out there, I am surrounded by them every day and feel very blessed. I will also say that I've had to shed some old friendships that were unhealthy in my search for quality friendships with other moms. My name is Katie and I am a HAPPILY married wife and mother of 4 great teenage kids. 

Tarsha - posted on 01/22/2009

This is a great group! I have been married for five years; but we have been together nine years. This is my second marriage (my husband's first) and I can really say this time around I am happy. There are times when my husband and I don't see eye-to-eye, but we always vowed to put God first in our lives. Sometimes I just want to call my girlfriends up and tell them all of the "wonderfulness" that my husband possesses. However, when I pick-up the phone their displeasure in their own mate just makes me keep my mouth shut. I was reading some of the other post and someone said women are busy looking at their husbands faults. But what about ours? My husband is a very simple man, who loves everything about me both good and bad. So in return, I try to do the same. Also, I realize the differences in men and women and I just allow him to be a man ( it took a lot of praying and patience, but I got there). I thank God for my husband every day. He is every thing that I ever prayed for. I always make sure that he knows that too.

Brenda - posted on 01/22/2009

Hello Beth and everyone else. I just had to join this group when I seen the name of it. I cant even tell you how we have been ridiculed for being happy. We have had comments such as "Omg, you two look like teenagers holding hands," "Why are you still holding hands, you guys make me sick" I even had my own mother who suffered through 2 failed marriages try to sabbotage my marriage. But I am happy to announce, that my husband and I will be celebrating our 19 wedding anniversary this summer. We lived together a few years before we got married. I think that may have been the key to our successful marriage, we actually got to know each other and we started out as good friends. Today we are each others best friends and still IN love with each other. My husband keeps asking me to run away with him to get re-married. We have 4 sons, 1 of which I had when we met. That didnt matter to my hubby, he accepted my son as his own very early in the relationship and has never treated him any differently.

I too have lost some very dear friends because my marriage is so strong. People dont understand when others have met their soulmate it is forever. I feel super blessed that God allowed me to find my soul mate and we are in this together till the end. Afterall, isnt that what we all said in front of God and our friends and famillies, till death us do part. In my marriage, that is something that we take very seriously. I think the problem in this world is that people are too unforgiving and it is too easy to get a divorce.

Renee - posted on 01/21/2009

Quoting Shiloh:

WE are all so lucky, good job praising your husbands everyone!  I think we all have things we could say bad about our guys but we choose not to feed the negative so our thoughts about him stay positive and in turn our lives are happier...tell all those husband bashing friends to be quite and try to get them to say something they lve about their man...hey after they go home that night they may think you! (wink wink)

I don't remember being opening ridiculed but do know that it's hard when friends are down on their marriages/relationships and say "you know...blah, blah..." and in fact, you are very happy in your relationship. I try to never take my relationship forgranted and I agree with Shiloh, that it would be so easy to begin dissing and being negative, just to be able to 'relate' with our friends that are struggling.  It's the staying positive and letting the small stuff go that helps us to have our great relationships! (and of course, having wonderful men by our side)

Lynn - posted on 01/21/2009

Not only happily marriage, but happily married too! sorry, i dont type well. i look down while i type. oh, and he is a he, not a heR

Lynn - posted on 01/21/2009

Because my husband and I are so happily marriage, everyone is convinced that our marriage is 'fake' and at home we truly dont get along. I have found that everyone will talk about us behind our back, and then everyone will rat everyone out to us. So its always "I PERSONALLY never say anything bad about you, but did you her what **** thinks and says" and then that same person that is being talked about, will come and do the same thing towards the other people. I find it rather amusing that several people seem to be two faced and jealous. And since the think our marriage is so cheesy, I make sure to rub in every little thing her does. Just to make them want to throw up more! ha!! Ok, after all the rambling.... I must say this. my husband is currently at work. After work today, he is going to drive 45 miles away to the nearest Chipotle, because he knows I have been craving a burrito from there. Ladies, isnt it great to have a wonderful husband???

Beth - posted on 01/21/2009

Quoting Emily:

My husband and I have only been married one year and four months and have already been through a lot together. We talk about it all the time too...if its not one of his friends complaining about their wife, then its one of my friends complaining about her hubby. It makes us sad to hear everyones horror stories of marrage, but at the same time it is nice to think we don't have to deal with that. We have also lost friends due to us just wanting to be alone and have our lovey time together and spend time with our son... and some people just don't get that... makes me wonder when someone gets so excited to get rid of their kids and husband, rather then just be with their family...its sad, but like I said, I'm glad I don't have to be that person!!

This has happened to my husband and I so many times. People cannot even understand that we "love" to be together. He has helped me through so much our relationship has only gotten stronger and stronger over the years. We have lost plenty of people and we have even had "friends" try to get in the middle of us to "prove" we weren't that in love. They al;ways failed and I look forward to proving the same thing to anyone else that tries.

Tamara - posted on 01/20/2009

I have been with my husband 6 years but married for only two and a half years. He wanted to get married long before we actually did but I was afraid, because everyone we knew was breakign up or getting divorced. There was alot of negativity surrounding us through our recently seperated friends, and the thought of what we already had changing because we were married terrified me. Over time I realized that it didnt matter what was going on with everyone else (most married for all the wrong reasons to begin with) our love and connection was strong and we were gonna make it. We, like everyone have had our ups and downs, but since we agreed that divorced wasn't and option just an easy way out (we are both pretty stubborn lol) we work through things and when we recently had a rough patch we sought help in marriage councelling. My husband is a wobderfully devoted father to our son, and my two older sons from a previous relationship, I am very lucky to have him and extremely happy to be with him. I must admit it's nice to hear from other women who know what a good man is and can praise him publically instead of bashing him for being human just because that is what everyone else is doing.

Deb - posted on 01/20/2009

Hi Beth, I have been married to my wonderful husband for 11 years now. We have been to the brink of divorce and back to being best friends. I have no idea what I would do without him. He is so helpful and caring.  He works alot and so is not home nearly as much as the kids and I would like (or he would like for that matter) so we make the time we have count. We learned as we went through our rough time that what we focus on grows - good or bad, and we made a concious decision to focus on each others good. It is amazing how our relationship turned around, and quickly too. Now, years later, I simply love him, and adore him. Yes we still argue sometimes and have bad days...but that doesn't break us anymore, we look for ways to learn from it and get stronger and closer. I am truely blessed to have such a loving and caring husband that I can rely on and trust.

Lindsey - posted on 01/20/2009

I have been married for 6 years. We recently hit a rough patch and when we began working things out and being playful again, we were accused of being "fake"!! We know how lucky we are to have eachother. He truly is an amazing husband and father! We know we need to hang out with people who have similiar interests, and will encourage us to treat eachother well, instead of falling into the mode of complaining about eachother. In this day and age people are so quick to divorce, but that is not an option for us. My husbands parents have been married for 41 years!!! We are doing whatever it takes to get to that point and be the happy couple that annoys everyone!! :)

Leslie - posted on 01/20/2009

I totally feel this. Its a rare good thing to find girlfriends that praise there hubbys and are happy. Its easy to find the ones that tear each other down.

When you find the ones that help to lift each other up its contagious, as is the opposite.

Its nice to see a post where everyone is so happy to be together! We are blessed women!

Emily - posted on 01/20/2009

My husband and I have only been married one year and four months and have already been through a lot together. We talk about it all the time too...if its not one of his friends complaining about their wife, then its one of my friends complaining about her hubby. It makes us sad to hear everyones horror stories of marrage, but at the same time it is nice to think we don't have to deal with that. We have also lost friends due to us just wanting to be alone and have our lovey time together and spend time with our son... and some people just don't get that... makes me wonder when someone gets so excited to get rid of their kids and husband, rather then just be with their family...its sad, but like I said, I'm glad I don't have to be that person!!

Shiloh - posted on 01/19/2009

WE are all so lucky, good job praising your husbands everyone!  I think we all have things we could say bad about our guys but we choose not to feed the negative so our thoughts about him stay positive and in turn our lives are happier...tell all those husband bashing friends to be quite and try to get them to say something they lve about their man...hey after they go home that night they may think you! (wink wink)

Shiloh - posted on 01/19/2009

WE are all so lucky, good job praising your husbands everyone!  I think we all have things we could say bad about our guys but we choose not to feed the negative so our thoughts about him stay positive and in turn our lives are happier...tell all those husband bashing friends to be quite and try to get them to say something they lve about their man...hey after they go home that night they may think you! (wink wink)

Jolie - posted on 01/19/2009

We have a hard time doing things with our friends who have kids, because they all want to go out on "the weekend they don't have their kids." We don't have that - We are still head over heels in love, and have very few friends who are there with us.

Tara Lee - posted on 01/19/2009

hi everyone ! I have only been married for 5 years but have been with my husband for 14 years.  My husband and I are best friends and do everything together(even work). Alot of our friends just don't understand how we can be together ALL the time. He treats me like a princess and adores his children. I couldn't ask for a better husband, friend or father for my child .

Denyse - posted on 01/18/2009

Hi Beth,

I am Denyse and I have the most wonderful husband and friend..We have been married 31 years this October. We have one amazing 23 year old daughter and we are a normal, at times crazy family..we fight and argue like all humans in relationships but we love each other. My husband is helpful in all house areas and he treats me like diamonds and gold. He adores his daughter and my only fret is that she will not find a man like her dad...at least not yet..hopefully he will come along and love her madly and care for her wildly she desserves a great man.....thanks for this site to speak....

Wendy - posted on 01/17/2009

THANK YOU ! THANK YOU ! SOO much Beth.

I actually lost a very dear friend because she thought I was hiding something from her as my 18 year old marriage couldnt be that good. I have 3 beautiful daughters 17,14,10 who has his facial features.and when he works shifts i CAN STARE AT THEM thanking God for blessing me with such a partner.I kow him for 21 years. We even do neighbourhood watch shifts together if the guys sometimes dont pitch.There is no one else that I would rather share my innermost secrets and desires with, than him.thank you to all the others who responded as he asked me "can we prepare our "speech" for our 25th anniversary" the other day. Whilst the divorce rate is increasing...I just giggled like the first day he proposed. This year will be our 19th and growing clsoer and stronger everyday.

Laura - posted on 01/16/2009

I've been married for 20 years....and love that man to death....still!! He drives me crazy sometimes and I'm sure I drive him crazy too, but.....without him, I'm lost and he is my best friend in the whole world. He completes me... So...I say...be proud that we're all happy. It's a blessing....

Ginger - posted on 11/10/2008

It's nice to know there are other women out there who don't feel the need to bash their husbands every chance they get. Sometimes I just look at my friends and wonder why they are even married. Reading all of these posts certainly lifted my spirits! I don't feel so "odd" anymore :)

Beth - posted on 11/10/2008

I was so glad to come across such an awesome community where I feel like I can fit in and meet so many people that are also happily married and not looking for anything but friends that are also happy!!! Thank you all for being here.

Krista - posted on 11/07/2008

My husband and I have only been married for almost 2 years and have a seven month old son. people basically said our marriage was doomed since we got pregnant so soon after getting married, and seem disappointed or unbelieving that, although it is hard at times, our marriage is amazing and we truly love each other. After we got married we had a disagreement because I'm not a very neat person and my husband told me not to leave my clothes lying on the floor. When I told my friend she said "At least you found out early on that it won't work out" I couldn't believe someone close to me would say such a thing...especially over a sock on the floor...

Kristine - posted on 11/07/2008

It is great to see a site like this! I have been married for 11 years and have nothing but good things to say about my husband. When I get together with some of my friends they just bash their husbands :( I just feel bad for them. We have had our problems over the years but have overcome them. Our marriage is much stronger!