Sex IN Marriage........

Gloria - posted on 08/09/2009 ( 26 moms have responded )

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Everything we need can be found in the Word of God;

face yourself completely through the Word. It is sufficient, having all power, instruction, deliverance, joy, understanding and everything you need. Know it, understand it and it will set you free.



Hebrews 13:4, "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." In marriage two come together as one; it is like your two hands, the left cannot commit adultery with the right. The right and the left hands are free to touch any part of the body, they are as one. In marriage the body is holy, there are some things God would not count as sin that would be repulsive or unclean to your mate.



Some women become extremely upset because they feel that their husband lusts after them, but there is no such thing as an evil lust of a husband for his wife. A power exists in a woman's life to keep her marriage together, and she must use it through love and not through obligation. Never cheapen yourself by using sex as a bargaining agent to get something you want, a prostitute does that. Sex should not be considered a duty, when two people love each other it is natural for them to have sex, God planned it that way; it brings a closeness in marriage that nothing else can, a holy union completely lacking in guilt. Sex, if used the way God planned, creates a tenderness in the heart of the husband that can be found in no other way. The holiness of God brings about such a tenderness that it is almost unbelievable.



1Corinthians 7:2,5 ".......to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Defraud ye not one the other except it be with consent for a time that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency." The Word of God emphasizes the role of sex before and after marriage; however, some women, because they are afraid of enticing their husbands, hide in closets to dress. It makes no more sense than the right hand hiding from the left. How can two people be comfortable when they feel they must hide from each other: "Oops, here comes my husband. I've got to hide!" God did not intend for barriers to be placed between couples, it robs them of any true closeness. There should be no strangeness between the husband and the wife, God has made you as one, Jointly'

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26 Comments

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Tonia - posted on 11/12/2009

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Quoting Billie Gail:

I love this but, I am one of those women that just can't do it. I can't even have sex during the day or with the light on. I don't let my past control my future, but I was molested and raped repeatedly throughout my young life and nothing in all of my 39 years has ever been able to change the ugliness I feel when it comes to sex.

My husband loves me anyway.... Thank God. I know that God brought him into my life because of his understanding and unconditional love and I will be forever grateful. However, I know that we are humans are weak and I pray that he is able to deal with me for the rest of our lives regardless.

I want to change things for him, but I gave up on that a long time ago. I have not even thought to pray about this matter until tonight when I read that posting. So, THANK YOU Gloria. I just never thought to put it in God's hands even though I put everything else in his hands. I can't promise that I will physically start trying to do things in the daylight or anything else but... If it happens it happens. I'd be overjoyed to be able to present myself to my husband as God made me. It would freak him out but I'd be overjoyed. LOL

God bless
Billie


I just want to say that I can some what relate to this not quit to the extremity of repeated rape but I have the same the issues that still haunt me. I don't deal with it quit the same way though when I was younger I was very premiscuous. I have also questioned my sexuality at different times. I was able to identify that was not the way to go. I got myself under wraps and married a great guy. I have been up and down with my sexual drive and where our relationship has been. The thing have struggled with more as a consequence of what happened to me is rage. Not to the extreme of being a full fledged abuser but to the extreme of losing self control. I hate that my kids have a mother who s not more confident and sure. i hate that I have so much inside of me that comes out in the wrong ways. It is really painful and hard to address. It is something I struggle with every day and it is hard. I know the problem! I just do not know how to fix it! I try counting and spacing and prayer. I keep trying but it has been a lifelong struggle. Anyways I just wanted to say to you that I know the trials of dealing with these issues. If anyone knows a solution to this problem that she and I are facing but in different ways I would love to hear from someone that hs either over came it or studied in it.



 



Aside from that I just want to say in direct response I agree with the Poster! 

Krystal - posted on 11/12/2009

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Billie Gail....wow....readin your post really hit home. I was also raped and moletsed thru the years and I got married at 19 and it was hard. A few things still trigger my hurts when it comes to sex and stuff. When I first got married and NEVER had sex during the day and NEVER with the light on. Now I don;t care. But it's because I have really prayed and asked God to heal those tings from the past!! Try it. It really works. Things are not going to change right away. It takes time! But atleast give God a chnace. He gives us so many!!

[deleted account]

I always thought lust was bad period but I guess not if it's for your husband/wife. I knew that I wanted to be married at 25 but didn't REALLY think it was gonna happen. People though I should've waited or that I wasn't ready but I KNOW that I was when I made that commitment in front of God. He knows me and he knows my heart and he's the only one that I have to prove that to. I thought I was in love before with old boyfriends but it's NEVER been like this! I'm so thenkful that I was able to receive true love with my husband! I am so dedicated to my vows and have such a strong fear of God in me- my husband's lucky-he has NOTHING to worry about! lol

Adriane - posted on 11/09/2009

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Thank you so much for the post. After sometime in marrige alot of women tend to forget the intimacy that can only be shared between a husband and wife. The union that is shared is so special and emphazied in the eyes of the Lord. But we tend to think of our inperfections first, but we never stop to remember that the only one who thinks of our flaws is our self. We cannot give the devil a chance to have a part in our relationship with our husbands. We must give ourselves fully to our husbands and put our own selfishness aside. thank you for shining light in my eyes.

Kim - posted on 11/08/2009

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LOVE IT !!! Mahalo for posting !

I have heard it said in the past that each & every time you share yourself in a sexual manner with someone, you are each exchanging a piece of yourselves. And that when you have multiple partners, you have given yourself to many, and basically received nothing in return ... but when you and your spouse share that experience, each time you exchange a part of yourselves, giving yourselves to one another, and in time, being a part of each other, being one.

Many in their teens-20's go through the "play the field" phase of their lives, and whether it's only 1 or 2 partners before they marry, or a dozen+, they have still shared themselves and got nothing for it ... in those relationships, sex was merely an act of lust, or experiment.
In marriage, sex becomes making love, sharing love, creating love - and becoming one with each other.

In all the time I have known/been with my husband, we have shared, grown & loved together. That connection we have is unbelievable, it's like magic. And instead of dissipating over all these years - as so many claim happens - it's deepened. So much of the time we feel as though we are still on our honeymoon, teasing one another, chasing and catching, and just loving - and not just sexually, but sensually. Many times just cuddling or "making out" with kisses & caresses is enough - and yet other times we desire each other so completely, we simply cannot get enough.
Between a husband and a wife, that's as it should be.

Again, thank you for posting such insightful advice.

Jennifer - posted on 11/07/2009

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this is all true sex in the marriage should only be in the marriage and when a husband and wife have there relationship between each other it should be out of love not lust and like with me and my husband i feel its a connection between us that only the 2 of us can share and i love him with all my heart and since he was my one and only ive been with thats a connection no one else has of me but him :)

Lynn - posted on 10/26/2009

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As for my husbands lust towards me, I take it as a complement. I am glad that even though since our marriage i have gained about 40 pounds and lost about 40 percent of my energy, he is still attracted to me. I am glad that having a child, and having extra stress, has not ruined our love life.
And I know my husband just does it to make me feel better..... But every pretty girl i see on tv, he will point out something negative or fake about her. It makes me smile that he is even trying.
I believe sex is something very important in a relationship. I believe if a sex life dies, there is a connection that would die, i feeling of love, and being wanted. and being needed would all die.

Tina - posted on 10/26/2009

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This was a great piece...thanks so much for sharing...was wonderful to see a subject of such great influence in this world...SEX...almost the most used yet dirty word the world has disgraced and destroyed what it was meant to be...so refreshing to see you write so passionatley about it and so real about it...and it was clean and proper...and a huge reminder to me of how Holy is really is and suppose to be...THANKS AGAIN...

Lynn - posted on 10/19/2009

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I just love it when I see someone end their statement with Leaving the Rest to God!

[deleted account]

hey you know what, those abused or women who have had life just fine- everyone has hurdles and obstacles when it comes to sex. This scripture is a reminder that satan doesnt want us to enjoy life but God does- and the creative powers of sex are very sacred and wonderful. so I just wanted to say dont face those obstacles alone- turn to God, talk to your husband, if there is someone you trust talk to them, be honest to yourself even. There are so many things to help us enjoy that very special part of our life! if you ever get stuck dont stay there, use all these resources and figure it out so that you can be happy and healthy. even reading some books can help =)

I was raped when I was just a teenager and I have spent the rest of my life facing that and fixing it. Now I am confident and happy and healthy -and I still have problems but my husband and I face them together. we are open with each other and we give each other the support it takes for us to both enjoy our lives, in and out of the bedroom. Ladies, God meant for us to be with a husband because we need them and they need us- everything about us is set off or complimented by the other and it makes for a beautiful picture. so use the resource God gave you, your loving husband. and along those lines, remember that he can get just as lost as you and be there to help him. if he messes up, dont get mad... help him instead until you both are in the place you should be! its a constant thing so dont ever think everything is 'fixed' and doesnt need any more work.
anyway, I just wanted to share the fact that my husband and I have been met with many many challenges in and out of the bedroom but with each other and with prayer... we'll always work it out. and that is why we are so very happy with each other! because we work for what we have =)
and leave the rest to God

Arielle - posted on 10/19/2009

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Its great for me to read this. Being prego has sent my hormones crazy and I'm not that interested in intercourse with my husband. I feel bad about it bc he's in the military and we're apart a lot, so I can't really blame him for wanting when he comes home. But until reading this, I have been feeling like he's being lustful. Sometimes with being prego and the hormones for me not wanting sex and yet the time apart and the prego makes him want it more. lol. So I guess I should really stop looking at his wants as being selfish. But it really is hard to find a balance for the both of us.

Jodie - posted on 10/17/2009

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This was well presented and so grounded in the scripture. I have trouble with "self image" at times, but when you look at yourself as God sees you and the way He created us to have this special union physically, it doesn't matter what you look like. I agree wholeheartedly that sex creates a tenderness in a relationship. When there isn't much action, there is a distance that tends to grow between my husband and I, I begin to miss him even when we have seen each other every day talking and even a hug and kiss every day. There is just something about sex in marriage that is so...intimate, something for you and him!

Eve - posted on 09/27/2009

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This is a great post. Thanks for the scriptures. I sometimes feel guilty about desiring my husband. I even ask him if it is lust but like you he says there is no sin in desiring intimacy with my husband. I love him soooo much! He is a wonderful, God loving, fearing man. He has taught me how to love in The Spirit, and how to love God.

Gloria - posted on 09/26/2009

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Thank you Ladies for Your Wondeful and Positive Feed-back.

Continue to be Encouraged in the Lord :)!!!

Rebecca - posted on 08/26/2009

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Amen sister, thanks for posting this, sometimes it just needs to be said to remind us.

Josia - posted on 08/23/2009

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There are no accidents. If it was posted then there is always a need for it. Sometimes you can post something random without realising it is an answer that someone desperately needed. For inspiration on the subject read billies post above. Everything is relative.

Elaine - posted on 08/22/2009

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amazing!it is my very first time to read a post completely..it lightens, yes..it helps.thanks

Billie Gail - posted on 08/21/2009

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I love this but, I am one of those women that just can't do it. I can't even have sex during the day or with the light on. I don't let my past control my future, but I was molested and raped repeatedly throughout my young life and nothing in all of my 39 years has ever been able to change the ugliness I feel when it comes to sex.

My husband loves me anyway.... Thank God. I know that God brought him into my life because of his understanding and unconditional love and I will be forever grateful. However, I know that we are humans are weak and I pray that he is able to deal with me for the rest of our lives regardless.

I want to change things for him, but I gave up on that a long time ago. I have not even thought to pray about this matter until tonight when I read that posting. So, THANK YOU Gloria. I just never thought to put it in God's hands even though I put everything else in his hands. I can't promise that I will physically start trying to do things in the daylight or anything else but... If it happens it happens. I'd be overjoyed to be able to present myself to my husband as God made me. It would freak him out but I'd be overjoyed. LOL

God bless
Billie

Lynn - posted on 08/21/2009

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I agree with Amber. And I did not just create this site for people to answer and ask questions. I also created it for people to write their thoughts and opinion on a great relationship. So i do not want posts nagging, but i do want posts that are rejoicing!

Amber - posted on 08/21/2009

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i love this...who cares if nobody had a question about it?! its a good topic to start!!!! thank you for the scripture!!

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