Venessa - posted on 12/06/2009 ( 76 moms have responded )
I have noticed alot that people who had kids or who were pregnant when they got married seem to be a bit embarrassed by it. I had DS when I was 18 and do not regret it for 1 moment (I wouldn't recommend having a baby that young but I don't regret it). I don't think you should be embarrassed to have had sex before you are married. I believe that for every couple it is a personal choice that should be taken together and not taken lightly. I have friends who did not have sex before they were married and they know that I did and it is not something that ever has come between us. We have discussed why we made the choices we made and respect the choices that the other made. I have friends who got married because they were pregnant which I do not agree with but I have never made this known to my friends who have done it as it is their choice and I'm sure they did not agree with me not getting married before DS was born. I decided that I was not going to get married at 18 as I could not see myself staying with the same person for life at that age but I was wrong and when DS was 4 we got married and are still very happy together but before we got married I was already trying for my 2nd baby, who didn't come till 17mths after we got married. DS is now 12 and he knows that he was born before we were married when we were very young and that's ok with him as he's been brought up to not be judgemental.
I just find it very sad that people are embarrassed by something that they did at a different time, when they were younger and it was probably what they wanted to do at the time so it shouldn't be embarrassing.
I know people have very strong views on sex before marraige and I says before it shoud always be a personal decision but I don't think people should have to defend that decision one way or the other.