dealing w/ teenage girls who want peircings?

[deleted account] ( 68 moms have responded )

My teenager wants to get a piercing on her lip. I am not approving this, but made the comment that she will do it anyway. "Whats the worse u can do to me.. ground me" Help...

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Jake - posted on 10/31/2012

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i am not a parent and to be honest i dont know how i ended up on this site but il offer you my opinion :)



im 16 and i have quite few piercings, facial and in my ears, as the parent it should be your decision weather she gets a piercing or not, in the UK u need parental permission to get a piercing when your under the age of 16 however most parlors will pierce anyone depending on the piercing and how old you look. i dont know how it works in the USA but im sure that allot of parlors will still pierce her with or without parental permission.



to my knowledge allot of the schools in the USA allow students to wear piercings, as she wont have to remove it or try and hide it the risk of things like keilod scars, infection and a internal blow out are extreamly diminished, if your worried about what other people may think of her having one or other family members frowning on it she can simply put a clear retainer stud in which will make the piercing compleatly invisible :)



in my personal opinion a lip piercing isnt so much of a big deal, she could be getting piercings that look allot worse... but if she does get it its easy to hide and after a few weeks of her having it you wont notice it much and will probably get used to it to the point where you like the piercing :)

Chloe - posted on 11/03/2013

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Hi, I'm a 14 year old girl and I want the top left side of my lip pierced. I already have my ear lobe pierced twice and my belly button done too. It was about July that I first asked her for my belly button to be pierced. She clearly said no. But to my ear lobes being pierced the second time, she had no problem with me having it done. I think that was purely because at the time I wanted to stretch my ears. And pluss she has her ear loves pierced three times herself. So I think she just let me have my seconds don't to shut me up and because she already knows that there is no harm in having them done. But when it came to me wanting my belly button pierced, that was a whole different story. She kept on saying no, but then another time she would say I'll see. I knew that she didn't want me having it don't by the look that was on her face every time I asked her. She only let me have it done because one day, her friend from work came round and they was talking about how her son has lots of piercings, then my mom told her that I wanted my belly button pierced. And her friend says that she doesn't see what was wrong with having it done. So then that is why she let me have it done. So I had that don't for my birthday. That is still healing now because I be only had it done 15 days.
So basically, this is coming from a teenaged girl herself,"let us do what we want to our own bodies, it's our own body so I don't see why you should tell us what we can and can't do to it. If you get a facial piercing, the hole isn't that big so we won't end up with a big hole in our face. And anyway you can get studs that you can't see you then when you have it in, you won't be able to see it. Just please understand where I'm coming from". Thank you for reading xxx

Angela - posted on 05/21/2013

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Well in 14 ima a girl well i asked my mom if i can get my nose peirced at 9 nd she agreed and said yes a year later at age 10 i wanted 2 on my upper lips nd she said no so i did it myself i showed up tht day with them nd she wasnt mad then 2 years later at age 12 i asked for 2 rings on my lower lips nd sh said yes nd i got them done at age 13 i got my tongue and septum (the one tht looks like a bull piercing) nd now tht in 14 i have my eyebrow nd cheeks peirced and 1 tattoo of a cancer sign
I took out my nose hoop and it closed fine no scars jst let her nd eventually she will get tired of it nd will want to take it out like me im tired of my peircing

Angela - posted on 05/21/2013

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Well in 14 ima a girl well i asked my mom if i can get my nose peirced at 9 nd she agreed and said yes a year later at age 10 i wanted 2 on my upper lips nd she said no so i did it myself i showed up tht day with them nd she wasnt mad then 2 years later at age 12 i asked for 2 rings on my lower lips nd sh said yes nd i got them done at age 13 i got my tongue and septum (the one tht looks like a bull piercing) nd now tht in 14 i have my eyebrow nd cheeks peirced and 1 tattoo of a cancer sign
I took out my nose hoop and it closed fine no scars jst let her nd eventually she will get tired of it nd will want to take it out like me im tired of my peircing

Samantha - posted on 08/25/2012

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It's her body, not yours. A piercing can be taken out, if she saves up the money why not? I would tell her to wait until 16, because that's when I moved out, but just forcing your own beliefs on someone never really works.

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Heidi - posted on 07/01/2014

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Hi, I'm an eleven year old girl turning twelve in 28 days. I see were your coming from. I want my belly button pierced, but i never asked my parents that I want it because they will react as if I've gone crazy. So what I have doing is researching everything about the piercing. So when i ask them they will see how much i really want it. So when you bring up the subject with your dad and he starts to say no tell him all you have researched and he will see how mature and how much you want it. I hope this helped. :)

Angel - posted on 02/09/2014

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Hi, im a 12 year old girl, and i want two lip piercings, and my mom said maybe but my dad said that face piercings look disgusting... How can i get him to change his mind? I really want those lip piercings...

Amanda - posted on 06/18/2013

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I've had my first holes in my ears since I was a baby. That led to me getting my second holes done, wanting my belly button pierced, getting the cartilage on my left ear pierced. Now thanks to Hannah on LA ink I want the middle of my bottom lip pierced, and as many tattoos as Hannah. I don't know if I'd gauge my ears like hers though, if I did I wouldn't go any bigger than hers. My mom always said only ear piercings until I was an adult. Now that I am I don't think I could go through with a belly button piercing because I'm too ticklish on my stomach.

Jennifer - posted on 01/05/2013

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I can only tell you what I did. This morning my 13yr old daughter claimed to glue a magnet earing ring to here lower lip to see what it look like...I gave my honest opion.I thought it took away from her face. Later this evening even i tried to rip it off realizing she lied. She is ok she knows now that momy loves her how i made her.im given her highlight extenions..witch is fun and can be taken out.the whole in her face will heal fast.Just like my oldest sons face did when he came home with a tatto on his face. .that tatto was gone the same day he got it.

Josie - posted on 11/04/2012

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Let the girl live!!! Peircings are always removable, and strict parents make sneaky kids.

Rachel - posted on 11/01/2012

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I have no problems with piercings. My son wanted his lip pierced at 13. I had no issues with it. I would rather take him to a clean place to get it done than to have him do it himself (which is what he wanted to do)

Helena Bandit - posted on 10/03/2012

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just let her get the freakin piercing. nothing is gonna happen to you if she gets it. my daughter asked me if she could get a lip piercing, and when i said no she asked one of her friends to do it for her. now she is stuck with an ugly scar on her lip.

Malebese - posted on 09/09/2012

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I am not sure that i really like piercing at all especially on the face or the tongue. However after reading your comments i think maybe it is not right to judge. I am staying with my niece and she did. She did not even ask me and I only noticed a month later when it was pointed out to me at one of family gathering. I do not think it looks good to have piercing on the face.

Shea - posted on 08/15/2012

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let her get it done... im not a mom im only 14 but my mom said no to my lip and nose piercing so i just seached on the internet how to do it and i found out i needed a special needle and other things so i dont know how im gonna do it without getting caught but my friend pierced her own lip it never got infected so your daughter might just pierce it with a piercing or safety pin its not bad she will probably keep it in till at least 18 and you wont have to be responsible for it anymore and to all the parents that say piercings arent cute or would rather get there daughter a bellybutton piercing think about how much of a hoe she will look cause she will have her shirt up showing it off i think lip piercings are way better then bellybutton piercingss

Tracy - posted on 03/29/2012

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I have allowed my 15 and 13 year old to get the funky ear peircings...and trust me there are plenty different kinds!! I have said No to facial peircings, mainly because its such a trendy thing. Get it done when your a lil older was my suggestion to my then 14 yr old...and shes 15 now and glad she didnt peirce her lip. I think some of them dont look as nice as others, and gosh some of those nasty infections they can get. The 2 of them have had enough issues with ear peicings, never mind what else comes with peircing your ace if you have an issue. look up keloids, a scar like build up that happens around peircings(not just peircings, but happens, its yucky!!) I beleive in self expression and being an indivual, facial peircings are not original,, just another fad for the times. just like tribal tattos, and lower back tats...all a fad for the time being. At least peircings arent a forever choice if you change your mind your left with a small scar.



I think I would be more concerned about your kids attitude towards your expectations.

"the worst I could do is rip it out of your lip" and "how would that look?" I know its graphic words, but sometimes a taste of their own attitude sometimes also sets things straight!

Christina - posted on 03/11/2012

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depends on her age. my daughter turns 16 in june and she has said something about getting her nose done for her birthday. i have no prob with this because i feel if the state feels she is mature enough to get a liscense at 16 and can become amancapated then she should be mature enough to decide if she wants a peircing

Jennifer - posted on 03/01/2012

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I have this same question so I started looking up info and came across little help. Leviticus 19:28KJV and wikipedia state that 31% have complications. My daughter will be 14 this month I simply told her I 'm not ready for her to do this believe she's still a little young and we'll talk about it again when she turns 15. She seemed to be okay with that and wears a fake one right now.

Toni - posted on 08/29/2009

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my daughter wants to have piercings done so I told her that at her next check up she needed to talk to our family Dr....so she did and he told her what ones where better to have done then others....which ones hurt more which ones where healthier etc.... he also advised her to go to someone who is reputable, clean etc....she took all this into consideration and decided to wait a little while before she puts any holes into her...while we were there we also talked about getting tattoos...lol he told her the same thing...

Bernadine - posted on 08/27/2009

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Quoting Fleur:

dont think me stupid but is a snake bite?



it is a double lip piercing, think of fangs....

Bernadine - posted on 08/27/2009

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O'kay, I am prolly gonna upset some people but here's what I've come to know. Both of my daughters have facial peircings. My oldest (16) has an industrial and a lateral targus in her right ear. My younger just got a central labret. Both required a legal photo ID, not a school ID, and parental permission. It must be a passport, driver's license, or driver's permit. Piercing under the age of 18 (in Alaska) is strictly up to the piercing professional. As I am both pierced and tattooed, I stressed the importance of health and safety. A lot can go wrong and quickly. Do research with your child, learn the proper names, common issues, and got to studios. Right now it sounds like she wants one because you are saying no. Most teens that get pierced young end up removing them by the time that they hit college.

I am a firm believer in knowing yourself before society tells you who you should be. I am also ex-military and did the 'white bread America' thing. It is actually very hard to be different. Both of my girls have had goofy colored hair during middle school. They learned quickly who their real friends were and how judgemental people can be. Should you think about it, being different is hard. It was a huge eye opener for them on our society norms. I now have two very confident, mature young ladies who will both hold hands or link arms with me in public.

I will not allow plugs or stretching due to the more permanent effects. I remind them that certain employers and social situations will find the jewlery to be offensive and they may need to remove it. By making it a controlled decision I have forced them to look beyond the trend and into what can come from a simple ring. Honestly by removing the challenge I have defused many teen angst issues.

I doubt that it will matter but I was 25y/o when I got my first tattoo and 27y/o for the first piercing. Both required a lot of thought and planning as body modification HURTS. It is a short pain but it is pain. As the three of us can attest, it's a pain that reminds you that you need to pee. ;}

Debra - posted on 08/21/2009

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when shes 18 she can decide. i made my oldest wait til then and she now has 1 piercing and 3 tattoos and we are going to get one together today. my first, its there body when they are 18 before that its ours. if you don't let them make their own decisions, and deal with the consequences, how will they function in life?

[deleted account]

Quoting Lisa:

I think everyone is making too big a deal out of it... Piercings do heal...ive had a nose ring for 20 years...and still wear it... and a belly ring.. i tried the lip,,didnt like it took it out after a year and now i dont wear it.. big deal... my daughter has her nose (she did it herself like i did) and her belly and her lip.... when she gets tired of it she will take it out...a scar? okay how big do you think the scar will be ? and okay than....lesson learned.


also do you make a big deal out of the hairstyles your kids prefer? my son had a mohawk for a year.. and his self esteem shot thru the rooof.. my mother refused to go out with his hair up..cause he also colored it at times blue.... BIG DEAL.. he was expressing himself.. and HES the one who is wearing it NOT ME. he wore the gothic clothes too.. he was going thru a stage that eventually passed...... expression comes in many many forms......you just have to give them the opportunity to express and learn on their own sometimes....these phases pass....and piercings are extremely popular right now...and its a safe trend..better than tattoos that are permanent !!

[deleted account]

I think everyone is making too big a deal out of it... Piercings do heal...ive had a nose ring for 20 years...and still wear it... and a belly ring.. i tried the lip,,didnt like it took it out after a year and now i dont wear it.. big deal... my daughter has her nose (she did it herself like i did) and her belly and her lip.... when she gets tired of it she will take it out...a scar? okay how big do you think the scar will be ? and okay than....lesson learned.

Fleur - posted on 08/12/2009

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oh christ mine is on about it.THE MADONNA i think she calls it,i have said NO,when she leaves home she may do what she wants,i let her have her ears done the second time and 1 at the top.i also said no to the nose,thankfully i had mine done against my mums wishes all the way done one ear it got infected,so i tell her all the time,and my belly button done which lasted 6 wks.i told her that you have to take it out when your pregnant and careful you dont catch it,luckily she has an outtie button and doesnt want it done.since finding out why people have their tongue done shes gone off that idea too.lol.ive managed to convince her she needs id to get anything done or her mum with her,hehe that put pay to that ,well for the time being anyway

Rose - posted on 08/07/2009

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I would ask, has she earned such a responibility? Take her to the dentist and he/she will tell her about the risks. Let the doctor tell her too. They even may have some pictures to discourage her from doing it with or without your permission. My almost 16 yrs old wants snake bites. I asked her to wait until she was 18, then deside if she wanted them.



Good Luck

Hilary - posted on 08/04/2009

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my daughter came home when she was 16 from a visit to Hastings (Kent UK) and had had her nose pierced.She had said that she was going to get one in the past and I found that by pretending to think nothing of it she just might drop the whole idea.
Anyway she came flouncing in and said what do you think then I told her I wasn't keen on it( playing it low key).
She loved it for a few weeks and then she had a new boyfriend who hated it and told her that she looked common - well I can tell you that was that she took the nose pierce out and she hasn't had it in since.
Its a form of rebellion and self expression - another friend of hers had a lip one and she had fun eating - she too doesn't have it anymore!

Kimberley - posted on 07/24/2009

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I'm a firm believer in PICKING YOUR BATTLES! My daughter wanted to get her nose pierced at 13. We told her if she could save up the money I would take her. She did and I did. Then she wanted her belly button pierced three years later. Same deal. Now at almost 21, the nose is still pierced (and I admit I think it's pretty, she's got a lovely little stud in her nose) and the belly button piercing is history. She just got tired of it catching on clothes. A piercing is one of those things that can be undone. The only piercing we've "forbidden" is the tongue because it damages tooth enamel. It's a health concern. All three of my sons have gotten an ear pierced at some point and all three allowed it to close over. It really wasn't such a big deal if mom and dad were cool with it, LOL! I really think this is one of those things that it is better to be open to your teen's views. If she wanted to get her ears pierced would you have the same objections? These days, a lip piercing isn't really considered anything odd. What are her school's rules on wearing facial jewelry? How will she handle it when she gets a job? Some places of employment forbid facial jewelry. Does she have a plan for these things? Is she willing to pay for the piercing? Has she investigated the more reputable places to get it done? Will she put in the time and effort to care for her piercing? If she can answer these questions to your satisfaction, it might be time to let her express her self with a body ornamentation.

Fiona - posted on 07/22/2009

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PLAY REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY, MY DAUGHTER WANTED HER BELLY BUTTON PIERCED WE SAID NO FOR A WHILE THEN ONE DAY OUT OF THE BLUE WE SAID OK THEN LETS GO.................HER FACE WAS A PICTURE OF FEAR.SHE CHICKEND OUT AND NEVER GOT IT DONE. I WOULD GROUND HER FOR BEING CHEEKY TO YOU, YOU ARE HER MOTHER. SIT DOWN EXPLAIN ABOUT INFECTIONS AND WHAT COULD GO WRONG WITH PIERCINGS. IF SHE STILL WANTS IT DONE , GO WITH HER AND MAKE SURE SHE DOES NOT GO TO SOME DIRTY BACK STREET PROFFESIONAL, THE LAW STATES THAT PIERCINGS ARE ILLEGAL TO ANYONE UNDER 16 SO IF SHE GETS IT DONE BEHIND YOUR BACK AND SHE IS 16 YOU CAN PROSECUTE WHOM EVER DID PIERCINGS, IT IS CLASSED AS ASSULT THE SAME ALSO GOES FOR TATOOS , YOU HAVE TO BE 18 TO GET A TATTOO, THEN ONLY BY A LICENED TATTOOIST .

[deleted account]

I would let my girl do this it is a fad. She knows how you feel. Let it be. She is trying to find out who she is.She is not being self-destructive.

Paula - posted on 07/17/2009

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i agree with many who have given thier kids time lines my 14 year old had decided that she wanted her lip done so instead of freaking out she was told at the end of school if you still want it it can be your passing present when the end of school came she decided that it wasnt so kool after all and hasnt had it done the supject hasnt been brought uup again i am also a fairly laid back mom when it comes to that sort of thing i have had piercings and have tatoos and have had funky coloured hair too my 14 year old is content at expressing herself with her own style in have funky hair and at this time it is purple black and pink she has had other colours too my 16 year old on the other hand is not content to express her self in this manner and has foolishly had help in piercing her ears with out getting it done professionally and even managed to go behind our backs and get her nose pierced when she was 14 so when she at 16 and a half was adement about getting her tounge done i agreed so she didnt go somewhere or get someone who didnt know what they are doing to do it she likes to hacvve piercing and has recently had her lip done aswell some people are just like that she knows that they can and probably will leave scars and had taken her nose ring out at one point bt has had it done again she has just decided she likes it in better i have forund that she becomes even more adement if i disagree so she knows my oppinion and the rest is up to her the have thier own personalities i have found for our family this isnt worth fighting over for those who dont have this same opinion you could try having them research all the possible out come s from piercings and see if 6 months from now they still really want the same thing sometimes it truly is a faze and sometimes it s not just a thought and just my opinion

[deleted account]

When my son told me that he wanted to get some piercings I informed him that as long as he lived in my house he had to follow my rules and there was a rule against girls piercing anything but their ears and no piercings for boys at all. It is a hard line but we stuck to it and none of them did anything about it until they moved out or turned 18.

Annette - posted on 07/13/2009

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They are not allowed to get a piercing with out your approval legally. But you can have remove them is she does get a piercing.

I have a tattoo and my girls said they would like one also. This is what I told them:

When you become 18 get a job, drive yourself and pay for it, but other wise no. They also asked about piercing and I told them the same thing. I really do not like piercing to many infections can occur and beside I would imagine they hurt big time!

Rebecca - posted on 07/12/2009

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weather it be a scaror not they are still going to be ur angel its not going to change them...peircings and tats are body art and can be done in good taste... im 37 yrs old and i have a 14 yr old that wants her nose done too and well our school doesnt allow it so i told her to hold off till she is out of school and she can do what ever she wants then... she hasnt fought me since but the choice is up to most weather or not they want there kids to or not and yea it is a phase i have 2 nose pierceings and 3 in my ear. i ahve 4 tats but they are all done in good taste.... what ever is best for ur kid u are the boss just remember that ...

Jaime - posted on 07/12/2009

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Just keep in mind that they (depending on age) can get it done without consent. I allowed my daughters to get piercings to an extent- nose,lip,ears. When they grow out of it then the holes will grow shut. When tattoos are involved then we have serious discussions and talk about the future and what may or may not be affected because of it.

Dallass - posted on 07/10/2009

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we all have done things when we were younger, it was how we expressed our selfs,and i find these days piercings are the way kids express themselves,when my almost 15 year old first told meshe wanted to get piercings i flat out said no but after i sat down with her and we had a good heart to heart talk i found that i had said no because it was someting that i would never do, but i amnot her she has a mind of her own and she is her own person and it is her body, now she has three we talk about the size of the piercings where they will go for about 6 months before she gets them done. she has her top right ear, her bellybutton and her li done now she wants her tounge done but she knows she has to wait untill may next year for it and she is fine with it, i say choose your battles and i think piercings is ne that is better talked about calmly then fighting over

Lori - posted on 07/10/2009

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I have three teenagers, from ages 15-18....all three have peircings, most i don't care but I made them tell me their reasons for peircings, wrote those reasons down,explained in one year I'm coming back to subject; if they had the same desire and reasons then I would compromise.. they could get it done by a professional, but they had to pay for it themselves, and no peircings unless a pro did it!!!..my kids are honor students and my oldest just got a full ride to college...not a sign of bad kids for peircings but more of I want to fit in...don't panic and agrue....compromise.. you'll get further...

Dallass - posted on 07/10/2009

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my 14 year old daughter now has 3 piercing i find that we had alot of fights over the piercing to a point that we were hardly specking to each other, so i decided if i just let her get them done we could get back to have a good relationship and it worked for me, we talk all the time now if her having body pierings has brought us closer then it is worth it

RUTH - posted on 07/10/2009

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you can say no but, if the child wants it they will do it their selves, my step daughter did it with a sewing pin. ouch.... we made her take it out but she keeps the holes from closing up by putting pin in it every day.. ugg. good luck..

Tina - posted on 05/29/2009

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My 14 year old daughter begged for a belly button piercing. Her father and I would not agree to it. So, she asked a friend at church (who had a self-piercing kit) to do it for her. She hid it from me for a couple of days, but as soon as I found out, I made her remove it. I think she thought once it was done, I would be alright with it. We held to our convictions and let her know that was no way to go about it. Finally, when she turned 16, we felt she was old enough to get one and I took her to get it. You just have to stick to your personal convictions about things like that. We just felt that 14 was too young for a piercing.

Cindy - posted on 05/25/2009

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In the state of VA ,atleast, noone under the age of 18 can recieve a piercing without parental/ guardian approval (if she takes another adult along to pretend to be you, they will have to produce their id and sign a legal document of consent) .... If the person/ place piercing does not have this aperwork on file and a dispute occurs, they will loose their state board license if turned in. My 14 yr old didn't believe me when I told her this (she too said she could get a piercing on her own- her nose). Even though I'm a stay at home mom, I still keep my cosmetology license current and have my state board rule book on-hand - you would think that would be enough proof to change her mind right? NOPE ! I took her to get her ears pierced a while back, and she acted utterly shocked when the girl requested my id and told her the same thing...... She has not bothered me about percings since :)

Paula - posted on 05/22/2009

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when it comes to this for me with a teen daughter i let my daughter get her belly button done when she was 16' i guess the piercing is ok you just have to worry where she or he want it, i said yes to the belly cause nobody could really see it, except in the summer. they can get there piercings done behind your back my daughter who know is 17 went and got her tongue done witch i did not want her to do till she was18. good luck and i hoped i helped a little.

Julie - posted on 05/22/2009

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My daughter is 16 and she just got her belly button pierced. My ex signed the papers.She really is a good kid. If thats all she does to her self, I'm blessed. She says its a little sore, but i'm use to seeing it now. I was against it. But now I'm use to it.

Tami - posted on 05/22/2009

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Well I caved in with Haley. I went and took her to get her nose pierced. Yanno what it looks great!
She has a little stud in there and I told her that's all she wears. No rings in the nose, no lip rings nothing till shes 18, and she's agreed!!

Joanne - posted on 04/29/2009

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You really think they're attention-seeking? I just think it's the same as having your ears pierced to be honest. It's a way of showing your individuality, exactly the same as clothing or hair styles/colours.

As I said before, I reckon if they're loaded with all the facts, it should really be their choice (once they reach an age where they can understand it all!) whether to pierce or ot to pierce!

[deleted account]

I graduated in 1980 and I can't recall the "thing" that freaked our parents out. Drugs=BAD, Alcohol=BAD, Oh wait, I remember....Painters pants and stone-washed jeans!!! Piercing of the face and mouth are a WEIRD way of "freaking" out us parents. The kids are seeking attention. It's a shame their personalities and talents aren't enough for them!

Melanie - posted on 04/28/2009

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my daughter is 16 she got her lip pierced when she was 15 i let her do it why not it can always be taken out life is to short let them enjoy there teens the way they want they will feel the pain and wonder why they did it

Liz - posted on 04/27/2009

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Amen Barbi. I say the same thing about our daughter. If a few piercings is going to be how she rebels, then so be it.

Really the only harm a piercing does is leave a scar when they take them out. They are so mainstream now it is unusual to see a teen without one. Some of the teens that are in our daughters youth group have a grip of piercings but I know first hand they are faithful to God and have taken the Purity Promise. Our 14 year old daughter has taken the Purity Promise and when she turns 16 the only thing she wants for her birthday is a piercing.

Every generation has their "thing" to freak out their parents. Ours just happens to be piercings.

Barbi - posted on 04/22/2009

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Hi I am new to this community and was just reading all of the post. I have basically the same issue going on at my house. I have a 15 who really wants to get her belly button pierced. I have been really against it since she is so young. But after reading some of the post, I am thinking about letting her do it. She is a very responsible teenager who does well in school and helps around the house more than her fair share. And she has never been rebellious. If this is her way of rebelling then I am blessed.

Liz - posted on 04/20/2009

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I totally agree with what you said about them going behind your back. That was one thing we considered with this tongue piercing. She was so bent on getting it done that I would rather just give her this one instead of her possibly doing some very bad damage to her tongue and mouth. We really wanted her to wait until she was 18. But like I said, this was just one of those battles we made the choice not to pick. We don't like the implications that people put on young ladies that have tongue piercings and that is why we wanted her to wait. She is a good girl. She has never had sex. I don't want people to assume anything about her that could damage her reputation. Sigh. We have always wondered who started piercings as the *in* thing to do. Piercings started out to be something that was ritualistic and had deep and varied meanings to many tribes in Australia, Borneo, Africa, etc. How did it become mainstream?

Tattoos were the same way. All started with different tribes from different regions of the world and they all had some meaning to them.

How did this stuff become mainstream? Who would have thought 20 years ago we would even have a discussion like this lol. I have several tattoos that are very nice and tasteful and all have deep personal meaning to them. We have really talked to our teens about the importance of having meaning to something that you are going to permanently put on your body. We have told our teens that when people ask about your tattoos you should have something better to say than "I got it when I was drunk and now I hate it."

Basically when they turn 18 they do what they want. Hopefully the things we have told them actually sunk in and they listened to us lol. Hopefully.

Michel - posted on 04/19/2009

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This is really a tricky situation your in...you have every right to want your daughter to wait because she is so young. At this age they all want what is cool and hip but they don't ever think of the long term. I have many tattoos, all of which I got after I was 18 but my kids 17 and 15 have expressed wanting to get tattooed. I have told them they have to wait until they are 18 because not only will it be their decision at that point but maybe they will have more maturity to know exactly what they want to mark their body with that they can live with FOREVER.

But on the other hand I have also said to them...if you can't wait and consider doing it behind my back, come to me...I would much rather take them someone I know is safe and will give them quality work rather than go to someone that God knows how safe they are and what kind of work they are going to do.

I think if your daughter is that determined to do it and is willing to go behind your back you have to find a compromise and at least be willing to take her somewhere she will be safe rather than just some random guy.

Oh and by the way...speaking from experience...piercings do leave scars and when and if you decide to take them out you will be constantly reminded of your decision and will be left asking yourself "why did I do that"? Good luck!

Liz - posted on 04/17/2009

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My husband is taking our daughter to get her tongue pierced tomorrow for her 17th birthday. She already has her lip done. This is just one battle I chose not to pick with her. These things heal and if she scars...it's on her not me. She first asked us at 15 to do it and you have to be 16 in our state to do any piercings. We said no when she turned 16 an allowed the lip piercing. If she still wanted her tongue pierced 2 years from the time she first asked then we would do it. She has been warned about the healing period and she still wants to do it. I am going to laugh so hard when she is walking around with her tongue in a shot glass of salt water lol. I will not be going with her to do this though. We have our grandson and a 16 month old baby doesn't belong in a piercing place. But we will for sure take pics and video it!

Tracey - posted on 04/17/2009

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My girly wanted her belly button peirced for sooo long. I told her that she could have it done when she was 13, it seemed so far away at 8. Then 5 minutes later she was saying 'you promised', so I took her and she had it done.

She is now 14 and had to take her belly bar out for a few weeks after an appendectomy, but she forced it back in and began the ritual cleansing of the newly pierced again!!

I haven't had to face it, but would not like it if she wanted her face pierced. I don't know what I would do about it though!

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