Any tips on how to prepare my toddler for a new baby?

Hope - posted on 08/29/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

34

15

1

First of all, I am so excited that my husband and I have decided to try for baby number two that I could burst, so I am so glad I have a place where I can "spill the beans". :)
I have some concerns about preparing my two year old son for becoming a big brother. I have heard that if you don't get big milestones, such as potty training and moving to a toddler bed, out of the way a while before a new baby comes along it can make things a lot more difficult in the future because the huge change can set them back. I'm also concerned about how to help my son understand what is happening when mommy starts to look different and we're getting things ready for the baby. I want to make sure he understands mommy and daddy still love him just as much and that he can be involved to. Obviously, I have plenty of time since I am not even pregnant yet, but I am the type of person that stresses easily. I just want to get as many ideas as early as possible so it can be as stress free of a transition as possible. So, if any of you mommy's that have gone or are going through the same situation have any good suggestions I would really appreciate it! Thanks!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Sarah - posted on 08/30/2010

312

30

92

Hi Hope! :D Congrats on forethought of baby number 2! haha I know how you feel, when my daughter was 2, I started aching for another baby so it was exciting when we did finally get pregnant again! She was about 2 1/2 at that time :)
I agree with Alyssa, just keep your son completely in the know! My daughter was actually in the bathroom with me when I read the test result, she was technically the first to know. I told her We're pregnant! We're going to have a baby! And we both jumped up and down squealing. lol
I also bought her a doll she could "mommy" and she was excited about that, especially after her brother was born. I was giving him a bath in the baby tub one morning and she was helping me. And then later that day I went to her room to see her "washing" her baby in the sink of her play kitchen. LOL made me laugh. :D It wasn't always perfect, she would get jealous sometimes, particularly when I was nursing her brother, but I think its all part of growing as a parent.
And you're right, don't start any major goals or milestones like big bed or potty training while changes are happening. It confuses them and DOES set them back, I had been in the process of potty training my daughter when I got pregnant and I kept trying all through pregnancy but it didn't happen. I think because she just wasn't ready though. I think thats amazing and incredible when kids are trained after 2. My daughter didn't "get it" until a few months after her 3rd birthday. Which seemed just right for her because once it clicked and she was that age, it was just natural. She never had an accident or needed anything at night at all. As far as bed, just like alyssa, both my kids were in toddler beds by 2 years old. I think it makes it easier to train them to stay there when you start younger than when they're older. lol

Alyssa - posted on 08/30/2010

47

40

9

Hi!! My name is Alyssa, and I just had my second baby! To prepare my son to be a big brother, we got him a stuffed animal. We had him name it.... He named her maggie after his favorite cartoon. Anyways, we started teaching him how to change the diaper, to feed her, wrap her up, just take care of her in general, so he would realize how busy mommy would be when the new baby arrived.... and how important being a big brother really is. He caught on really quickly, and LOVED taking care of his "maggie". We sat him down and told him what was going on, several times to make sure he understood that "mommy is growing a baby in her belly" to "mommy is growing your sister in her belly" and she will soon be here and mommy will have to take care of her. He grew excited as my belly started getting bigger and bigger, and when my labor started and we were off to the hospital, he was prepared and just as excited as we were. I believe that "maggie" helped my son cope with being a big brother, and teaching him how time consuming a baby really is.

Also, we had him potty trained by 2.5 and he was in a big boy bed at 2. but its all at your own pace and of course your sons as well.

Also, feeling mommy's belly and going to some of the appointments, especailly the ultrasounds helped him understand that there really is a baby in there! also, we weened him of being played with ALL of the time, and recieving ALL of our attention, so when the baby arrived it wouldnt be a total shocker that mommy couldnt get on the floor and play hot wheels or something like that. He has had no jealousy issues and loves his sister unconditionally. our son was 2 as well... when we found out we were pregnant with the second our son was only 2 years 3 months old.

I hope this helped you. or helps you. if you ever need any more advice or what not, im more than happy to help.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

7 Comments

View replies by

Hope - posted on 09/18/2010

34

15

1

My son has always been fine with me holding other babies. I worked in our church nursery a lot so he has seen me taking care of other children there, and when he was about seven months old I started babysitting a little girl that is 4 months younger than him. That lasted for a year so he was also used to having to share my attention a lot since I baby sat her while both of her parents worked full-time jobs. I'm hoping that will also help him adjust. He has always been great with other kids, older and younger. We've never had problems with him not sharing or being mean or getting jealous. Hopefully that will still be true when he has a sibling!

Jessica - posted on 09/18/2010

11

11

0

I have a 2 year old daughter, and i am expecting my send in January. I decided to get her a baby doll that cries and she has to feed it, shes been doing good with the doll. But, when i hold my friend's 3 month old she still gets very jealous and wants nothing to do with the real baby.

Ivy - posted on 09/16/2010

10

0

0

I am due in Nov and my son's about to turn three next month. I have been checking out books for toddlers/preschoolers from the library and videos that deal with a new baby in the family and pregnancy. I talk about the baby in my belly and why I have to be careful when picking things up, etc., and he's gone to several of my midwife appointments (baby doctor as he calls it) and sees all of the pictures of pregnant bellies and talks about the babies in their bellies. He wanted his own little baby (doll) when we were at the thrift store- he calls it his little sister and will hold it every now and then and put it to bed with a blanket- I think it's great to expose even little boys to this kind of thing- hopefully one day he'll grow up to be a nurturing father....

Hope - posted on 09/02/2010

34

15

1

Thank you so much for the advice everyone! We have already started potty training and he seems to be doing well. He's very interested in the potty and doesn't have many accidents anymore, so that is encouraging. I'd really like to have him completely potty trained, or at least to the point where he only needs training pants at night, before we have another baby. He is also very interested in babies now that he realizes that they're smaller than him. Hopefully that will help get him excited about having one at home!

Anna - posted on 08/31/2010

5

7

0

i had my second son the day before my son turned 2 and in my experience you just have to get them as excited as you are about the new baby and the fact they they are going to be the big brother or sister.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms