Bringing Home New Baby to Toddler

Nicole - posted on 04/14/2011

Lou- I'm glad you got something out of this thread! I'm sure it will all go well for you too. I think the most important thing is to make sure your older child(ren) still get your one-on-one attention. Granted, it won't be as much as before, but it will still be special.

Tricia- I was in the hospital for 36 hours. Thankfully, Jack gets to spend a lot of time with his grandparents because we all live so close together. He had even spent the night several times before Dexter was born. When I came home and he saw me after waking up from his nap, he smiled and ran right over to me. So he was definitely happy to see me but he was also distracted with fun things while I was gone. Remember- they are usually more resilient than we are! More than likely, it will be a lot harder for YOU to be away from him than it will be for him. Even though I had been away from him before, I still missed him. So my husband and Jack's grandparents would send me pictures on my cell phone every once in a while so I felt like I still knew what he was up to. Good luck!

Tricia - posted on 04/13/2011

Congrats Nicole! Glad all is going well. How many days were you in the hospital? I like the fact that you didn't take him there, but I have to have a c-section and will be there for 3 days, or more. The most I've ever been away from him is around 18 hrs, just don't know if that is to long for the both of us

Lou - posted on 04/13/2011

Im expecting twin boys in 6 weeks time and already have a 3 year old daughter and I have been worried about how she might react to the boys coming home, I have found all the ideas above really helpful and will definatly be tryng them out so thank you.

Nicole - posted on 04/13/2011

Thank you everyone for the ideas! We decided not to bring Jack to the hospital because he doesn't understand what's going on and I didn't want him to be scared of the environment- seemed counterproductive to us. So our plan was to have grandpa at home with Jack and my husband would carry Dexter in with a present in his car seat for Jack. Unfortunately, Jack was napping when we got home so, instead, we put Dexter in his own room in his crib and when Jack got up to play, he could hear Dexter making noises and went to investigate. The present was next to Dexter in the crib and we opened it right there before taking Dexter out.

The thing that Jack constantly reminds me of is that our children are usually more resilient than we give them credit for. Often, they are more resilient than we are! :) He's adjusting very well and even starting to understand that he cannot have the baby's binkie (which has been hard work for him but I'm proud that he's trying so hard).

Our close relatives have also been bringing gifts to Jack when they come to see the new baby. Having groups of people visit at a time seems to help too because only one person can hold Dexter at a time, leaving the rest to talk and engage with Jack.

Good luck to those of you who are about to experience the same thing and I hope it goes just as well, if not better, for you!

Thanks again :)

Tricia - posted on 04/13/2011

I'm Due with #2 in a few weeks, so don't know if this will actually help. But I have overwhelmed him with "baby". Anytime we see a baby on tv or in person I tell him see baby, wheres moms baby? And he then hugs or kisses my tummy so I'm starting to think he had the concept there. I've also done the gift thing, bought a box of legos to give him at the hospital. When she is born he is going to come back into our room with his dad before any other visitors, and then I've asked anyone that will be visiting that if he is there to say hi to him first and not run to the baby, but let jc introduce the baby to them. I'm sure there still will be some issues, but I'm thinking that by trying to include him in everything will help

Louise - posted on 03/31/2011

When my second son was born I bought a large play garage and cars for my eldest son and told him it was from his brother. This really did help because it took the attention off of the baby and onto the toy. Also when people came round to see the new baby with gifts he did not feel so pushed out.

Sharon - posted on 03/31/2011

I haven't experienced it just yet, but am about to. I'm due in 3wks, and our son is 17mths old.
Xander is a 'mummys boy' and gets upset if he can't be close by me, but he is used to babies as he has interacted with them a bit at daycare.
We were advised to help make the introduction at the hospital smoother, to not have me holding the newborn when Xander first comes in. That way he can get all the cuddles & kisses he needs from me.... then he can be introduced to his new brother/sister when he's feeling calmer & not threatened by the newborn being held by me.
Then I was told to try as much as possible to include xander in all the day-to-day caring activities for the newborn, and to ensure he gets plenty of one-on-one time with both me & his dad.
In theory it sounds good, I dunno how it will go in practice, but will give it a go :-)
Good luck.