Clingy Toddler

Helen Katrina - posted on 08/02/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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im 16 weeks pregnant and all of a sudden my 23 month old daughter has become really clingy, just wanting me to hold her 24/7. she throws a fit if i put her down or try to give her to her dad... its getting to the point were she wants to sleep in our bed hugging me all night (she's never slept in our bed previous)...
has anyone else had this problem and are there any tips on how to get her to be less clingy??

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Jeanna - posted on 09/24/2010

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I saw a really good idea on supernanny and have been using it with my daughter currently. Its the "Not now...but..." technique. or at least thats what i call it.
Basically when she asks you say "Not now but you can hold my hand" then use a distraction. or when i'm sitting on the couch its "not now but you can have a cuddle" or Not now but can you get that doll for us to play with.
Its been working quite well with my daughter. still objects sometimes but i can distract her by getting a toy or singing a song with actions.

Hersha - posted on 08/09/2010

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My daughter did the same thing when I got pregnant. She was 15 months when I got pregnant. Before then, she was attached, but not that clingy. As the pregnancy developed, she got worse. I think she can smell the pregnancy on you and it's her way of preparing herself for losing a huge chunk of your attention. I talked to her very realistically about what was happening and why she wasn't getting all my attention, that it would get even less, and told her it was absolutely ok to be upset about it. I also told her that I loved her dearly would work with her to accept the change (in a kiddy way and throughout the pregnancy). I now have a two month old son and she has really accepted him gracefully (although sometimes gets clingy when she's tired). Kids are smarter than we think, so just be open and honest... with her. She loves you unconditionally!

Another thing that helped was that Daddy magically stepped in and gave her the attention she craved, so he became her favourite person.

Good luck!

Lorraine - posted on 08/07/2010

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i'm in the same situation where my only son has had my atention all to himself because there was no one to share with, he is a mumy's boy where he doesn't even want his dad to put him to bed and allway's want's mum. i have him in creche once a week to try and help with the clingyness plus he doesn't have anyone to play with accept for me. i'm hoping it will get better as i get further into my pregnancy he will get use to it, he will be 3 1/2 when the baby arives so hopefully the age might be good gap for him good luck.

Sarah - posted on 08/03/2010

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lol yes, being a mom is so fun. haha My kids are always up my butt, so to speak. They follow me around the house, if they cant manage to dash into the bathroom before me, they wait outside the door knocking and sticking fingers under the door....my son is 20 month old and he has his moments of extra clinginess, wanting to be held and in my lap all the time. I wouldn't say I really have tips, but I smile and cuddle my kids, try to get one on one time with each of them. When your daughter cries when you put her down, I would just smile and tell her you love her and leave room. The sooner she is use to not having you 24/7, the better....I would personally say. I think, and maybe its just me, that if you give in to her whenever she wants you, she'll be use to it, making it 100x worse when the new baby comes and she has no choice but to wait her turn. I'm not saying not pay attention to her, just make sure she knows you're not at her beck and call. Maybe designate a special time every day at the same time each day where she knows she has your absolute, undivided attention. Kids remember routines and she'll most likely look forward to it and maybe that will help. Good luck!

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Jessica - posted on 11/06/2010

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i have also found that explaining to my daughter that now is not a good time has been working.

Jessica - posted on 11/06/2010

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my daughter did this for a few months, to the point i had to the baby backpack on with her in it to clean. now that im twards the end of my pregnancy shes not so bad. i believe that young children can sense when we are pregnant

NAdia - posted on 08/13/2010

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Hi Helen...I'm 29 weeks now and I have a 28 month old daughter that is also very clingy...They say it's because she can feel there is a new baby on the way. When she througs tantrums becauase I don't want to pick her up I just leave her but then she hits me. I would also like some tips on how to show her that her new brother/sister won't take her place and that she won't end up hating him/her...Thank you

Amanda - posted on 08/07/2010

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i'm due on the 24th and i've noticed that over the past few months my toddler (she'll be 2 on wednesday) has gotten more and more focused on mommy. It's always up mommy, or hug mommy. only her sister is good enough to take her if i'm unable to. she barely goes to her daddy anymore and she used to be such a daddy's girl.

Michelle - posted on 08/05/2010

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I have a 13 month old boy and Im 16 weeks pregnant too...he has become even clingy-er(sp?) than he was before and thats sayin something...but if you are a stay at home mom or even a working mom and you spend a lot of time with her, she has to learn that it can't be 24/7. My son wont even let my mothers helper feed him without completely turning around to look at me 3 feet away. he even tries to feed me while shes feeding him.

But you have to put your foot down. It only gets worse as time goes on. She is going to know that there was a time when she had your undivided attention and quite possibly be upset at the baby for taking that away. You still have several months to teach her that mommy still loves her even though she isn't on the floor with her all day. It will be a lot easier before the baby comes into the home.

Erin - posted on 08/03/2010

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Ha ha I have the same problem with my 2 year old daughter, but shes always been this way even before I got prego again and she has an older brother(4) and she is always on me like white on rice! if you find the cure let me know! lol

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