Expecting and Terrified! PLEASE HELP!!

Melissa - posted on 04/16/2011

ALSO!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!

Melissa - posted on 04/16/2011

Thanks for sharing, Nichole!!

For my first experience, I knew I didn't want a c-section because of all the drugs that they use, likely for the same reason you originally wanted a natural delivery, too. I was very niave and VERY uneducated, so I basically just went with whatever doctor the clinic gave me, and that was that. I barely ever saw her through out my pregnancy. I saw her once in the beginning, then all I saw were nurses, then I had to actually request a special appointment with her because I was getting concerned because the nurses kept mentioning cesarean, even though I kept saying I did not want one. My son was large, at 37 weeks he was born 10 lb 3 oz. But I'm a big girl, I have wide hips, I wanted to at least try, you know? We have big babies in my family, and I'm the first to have "needed" a c-section. SO, when I met with my doctor to discuss this, I told her I didn't want a c-section, I told her all of my reasons, and I told her that I wanted to be induced at 37 weeks, which is considered full term, and that was that. She told me she wasn't comfortable with that because the baby's lungs may not be developed, so I told her I wanted an amnio done. She told me she wasn't sure I knew what they meant, so I explained the procedure to her (they stick a long kneedle into your stomach, into the amniotic sac, withdraw fluid and test it to determine the maturity of your baby's lungs. there is a slight risk of rupturing the amniotic sac, resulting in delivery, but that's kind of what i wanted anyways lol) She then told me it was very painful, I told her I knew that, and then she scheduled it ... for the END of my 38th week. I tried to switch doctors because I knew she was not on the same page as me, and I realized she didn't at all care about what I wanted or what was best for me, she only cared about herself and her waller. Cesareans are done much more in the US than in any other country because they're easier for doctors to schedule, they're quicker, and they make about twice as much. It sounds harsh and kind of conspiracy-ish, but if you look at a lot of the figures and compare it to even just Europe, you'll see it for yourself. So in my 37th week I had my normal check up and they determined that I had pre-eclampsia, so they admitted me and "tried" to induce labor. I say "tried", because before I was admitted I told the nurse I was having braxton hicks contractions in my back. I didn't know at the time that braxton hicks ONLY happen in your upper stomach. They'd been happening all night, they were getting worse, and it was painful. I was actually in the beginning stages of labor! AND THEY KNEW THIS and did nothing. Instead they hooked me up to pitocin to "induce" labor. What I didn't know at the time (along with not knowing I was in labor) was that pitocin, if administered after labor has set in, reverses and stops labor, and only restarts it if the dosage is upped. They never upped my dosage. I sat for three days in a bed with that stupid Non Stress Test machine attached to me from 6am to 8pm, unable to eat, I had to lay on my left side the whole time, it was so uncomfortable and terrible. Then on the third day when the doctor suggested cesarean, I just couldn't take it anymore so I said fine.

This time around, I'm putting my foot down. After having one cesarean you are at an elevated risk of uterine rupture during delivery, but the risk is only really elevated because there's NO risk if you HAVEN'T had a cesarean before lol. Also, 80% of women who try VBAC are fully successful. Luckily my son was born perfect, he scored 9.9 on teh APGAR test, even with being born 3 weeks early, and being born via c-section (normally babies born that way have respiratory issues, he had none), but I don't want to risk it for another baby. Also, we want a large family. Not now!! Lol, but someday. We'd like 4 children, and that's very dangerous to have that many c-sections. I want my child to come into this world the way they were meant to. Childbirth only became a medical thing about 100 years ago, and the process of that change was TERRIBLE!!! Even just 30 years ago for a woman to give birth in a hospital was a torturous thing. I'm actually considering getting a midwife as opposed to an OB-GYN, but I have to go through some interviewing of both to know for sure. I'll be giving birth in a hospital either way, but I just want to make sure the person delivering my baby isn't a selfish jerk like the last one!

Oh, also? I wanted to breastfeed my son, I didn't want formula. But because of the pre-eclampsia I had high blood pressure. The doctor I had prescribed blood pressure medication for me for when I went home, and I asked her if it was going to effect my milk production and she said no. Which was a lie. It dried me up, and no matter how much I pumped or had my baby try to eat off me, nothing worked. I definitely agree that in the end all that matters is a healthy baby, but I would much rather be able to enjoy the experience of bringing my baby into the world than having to worry about jerks trying to take over every decision made, you know?

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 04/16/2011

Wow hun.... so many thoughts come to my mind. I think the first one I should share is my experiance delivering my son. I was a week and a half overdue and was going to those stupid None Stress Tests just to make sure baby is okay. They had me so freaked out for 2 weeks because I was due, then overdue and OMG you're gonna just LET IT GO AND NOT INDUCE?! That's so bad!!! It's going to poop, and get sick, and blah blah blah. I ended up crying my heart out and my mom was like calm down...... that's no way to deliver a baby. I just did NOT want to be induced. Well, 24 hours later I had to anyway. I was mad because I wanted to experiance it on my own to see if I could handle it all natural. I wanted to walk while in labor and do it 'old school'. However, right when I got to the hospital they made me lay in the bed in the gown and shoved the IV in me and I couldn't walk from the moment my butt hit that bed. I was so mad. I also had to get an epidural right away or else they wouldn't give it to me later as I wouldn't be 'of sound mind'?! Legal garbage. So not only was I stuck in bed, I had to be drugged before I ever felt a contraction. I wanted to cry. But my baby came and you know what, I just don't care anymore. That's what happened, and it's been so much MORE since then, that I really don't care how the next one comes.
Now, my second thought is... what problems did you have during your first pregnancy that you needed to have a Csection? Becasue usually once you've had a Csection aren't you more prone to need another? Have you talked to a doctor about this?
If I was you, I would contact local mothers who are going to deliver all natural and ask to come along for the ride, so you know what you are in for. Call local Doulas (one name for midwifery) and ask them if you could go along with them. Ask them to ask their clients. Usually they are prepared to train new people, so there should be some that wouldn't mind you coming along and as it's an all natural experiance everyone is looking for, another helping curious loving person in the room would be welcomed.
Third...... I stress alot. I had my son 5 and a half months ago and I'm 4 and a half months pregnant. Beat ya :D hahaha so I'm also in your situation.... I wasn't able to breastfeed my son due to pain and possibly him sucking too hard being an over enthusiastic eater... this made me so sad and I was distraut for 2 weeks while I tried and tried... I finally gave up but felt bad about it for weeks and weeks. I finally could care less anymore. So I would say to try everything you want to do. If that's what you want, go for it! But don't be scared. If it doesn't work out and you would feel more comfortable in a hospital, believe and find the strength to know everything will be just fine either way hun :) afterall, your having another baby!!!!! Maybe sew a quilt instead? Haha