How long can a boy and girl share a room?

Rachel - posted on 03/04/2010 ( 18 moms have responded )

49

19

3

I have a two bedroom home, and selling and moving isn't an option right now. My son is 3yrs old, and I'm expecting a girl in 2+weeks. What I'm curious about is how long can/should I let them share a room. I realise that at some point, they really need their own space, but would love to hear some feedback on what you think! :) Thanks!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Rachel - posted on 06/27/2013

49

19

3

An update...My son is now 6 and my daughter is 3. They have been sharing a room since my daughter was born, and they actually do very well. The only thing is when one want quiet time, the other tends to invade so I had to concede and let one go in my room sometimes for their quiet time. Thankfully, as they have started fighting more, I know they need more space. Their own space. We are giving up our home for a considerable financial loss to move into a 3 bedroom. The kids are very excited to get their own rooms! So, in somewhat of an answer, they can share till one starts to not like the situation or is wanting more of their own space!

Jennifer - posted on 06/26/2013

1

0

0

I am stumped on this same issue but it is a little different. My husband and I have a 3 bedroom house. We have a 7 yo boy and a 2yo girl. They had their own rooms. Then my stepdaughter age 12 moved in last November. She moved into the girls room. This seemed logical but has been difficult. My 2yo has trouble sleeping now. She wakes up at night. I can only guess that my stepdaughter moving on the top bunk may wake her. Also, when my 2yo is trying to nap or go down for the night, my stepdaughter often wakes her going into the room for things, playing music so she can sleep--hiphop is not all that relaxing for me but my 2yo has gotten somewhat used to that at least but it irritates me. I felt I had no choice but to endure it for now because we do not have the money and it is not the market to sell and buy a bigger house. My stepdaughter has been bugging us about wanting her own room. We told her it isn't appropriate for the boy and girl to share a room. Now my stepdaughter is on a visit with her mom and my son begged to sleep on the top bunk. My son and daughter have been sharing the girls room this week. He wants that to be his bed. He says he likes it "up here". They all seem to like the idea, plus my 7 yo is surprisingly much quieter than the 12yo most of the time. The problem is, I don't know if it is ethical, legal, wise...... Stumped. Anyone?

Joyce - posted on 03/12/2010

1

10

0

i know here in indiana they can share a room till one turns 5 yrs old after that they have to have their own room

Lisa - posted on 03/04/2010

6

19

4

Hi Rachel,

I am not in your situation personally but have worked with kids for over 10 years, mainly your son's age. There is not much you can really do other than have them share a room unless you have an office space you could sacrifice? I generally encourage parents to let the kids be your guide... It depends totally on your children's personality and how much they clash/get along. It is great that your son is at an age when it is easier to reason with them and explain why he needs to share with his sister... A tent in the loungeroom might be a good way to give him a sense of space when there isn't much to be had... My mother in law is always telling me how her daughter and my husband shared a room for years and had no problems, it can work! Good luck with everything!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

18 Comments

View replies by

Apple - posted on 04/25/2014

90

0

3

As long as they what too. Your neighbors need to keep their nose out of it. The mother does not need to be talking about this with any other moms. As long the children are respectful, caring, loving to each other it can be a great experience of learning. They can share a room as a teenager.

Mikila - posted on 03/13/2013

20

59

1

I think the law says they need their own space starting at 12. Until then, your kids are fine sharing.

Lorraine - posted on 03/13/2010

323

28

39

Hi i was in a simuler situation myself but mine was my partners office we have a three bedroom house with my son, and now i'm pregnant with my second he was allway's saying that he would never give up his office, i was thinking i was gonna have to do the same but then he finally agreed to move his office outside in the shed. so we turned the shed into an office and insulated and lined the inside of the shed and now he has more room pluss as you say they will live in our bedrooms for a while untill they grow out of there bassinet and as you said the baby can sleep in your walk in robe or even in the laundry if you have the room or a section in the living room just a curtain around the cot can divide that part but either way you still have plenty of time before your son will not want his sister with him but no matter what happens as long as there happy and have a roof over there heads and food on the table that's the most important thing for them good luck.

Tarren - posted on 03/12/2010

3

6

0

i have that issue too but i figured that when they get to be like 6-7 id split them

Jennifer - posted on 03/11/2010

8

20

3

ck with the health dept and find out. if u only have a 2 bed home, there's nothing they can do about it. they can sleep in same room until they r starting to be teens and when they do, take the door off and put up curtains to divide their room, like one half is his and the other half is hers.

[deleted account]

With my husband out of town this week I've actually been sleeping on the futon in the living room while baby is in a playpen in my room... she seems to sleep better in her own space. Isn't it amazing what we are willing to do for our children... things we probably never imagined! I'm happy with my small home though. Less to clean, less space to accumulate and store things we don't need, and all the more space for my garden outside!

Melaina - posted on 03/10/2010

145

24

12

I'm in this situation too, with an almost 2-year-old boy and a girl on the way. They will have to share a room, and there isn't even room in our closet sized bedroom for a bassinet. We already moved from the master bedroom to the little bedroom so that two kids could fit in the larger room. My brother and I shared a room until we were 6 or 7, so I'm not too concerned about the boy/girl sharing issue, but I am concerned about her keeping him awake. If it becomes a problem she and I may have to bunk in the living room until she sleeps better. She and I may end up bunking in the living room sometimes anyway, so that I don't wake up my husband all the time when he has to get up to go to work early in the morning.

Rachel - posted on 03/10/2010

49

19

3

Ya..it is really difficult trying to juggle their sleep situations, and not enough space. Everyone needs their sleep, and you want your kids happy, but how do you do that without compromising their personal space. My son is a pretty good sleeper, but I have a feeling, like Rachel, I will be having my daughter in my bedroom until she can sleep through the night, or mostly. Liz, I feel for you. 3 kids, plus your husband and you in a 2 bedroom apartment. That would be a very tight squeeze! If only we could all win the lottery! :)

Liz - posted on 03/10/2010

2,013

3

445

I am in the same situation. I have a set of b/g twins and we are expecting our third, a little boy, in July. We have a two bedroom apartment, so what we're going to do is my husband and I are going to move out to the living room, and let our daughter have our room, and our sons share a room. My twins are going to be 2 in June.

[deleted account]

I am in the same situation - the older boy and younger girl are not quite 2 years apart. Though I want them to share a room it has been difficult. My little girl still wakes twice a night to nurse (she's 8 mo) and my son has started waking more at night since the baby arrived. I think it's because we've started going to him more, trying to keep his commotion to a minimum so as not to wake the baby. Every once in a while they actually sleep in the same room at the same time, but often the baby sleeps in the playpen (she outgrew the bassinet this month) in the living room or in my room. I do hold out hope that when she is sleeping through the night they will be able to share a room... but I also recognize that it may never work like I've planned.

Rachel - posted on 03/07/2010

49

19

3

Thanks...Angela I agree with the night waking, so we put a bassinet in our room until the baby is a bit older and perhaps sleeping better. I will use the crib in their room for day sleeps. But I totallys agree with the cranky toddler...my son is 3 and if he doesn't have a good nights sleep, he can get pretty aggressive and tempermental! Thanks Sarah...8 years old sounds very reasonable. They are getting to the age of exploration, and I'm sure they wouldn't want their sibling to be aware! That's our dilemma...buying a new home is hard since we bought this place at the peak and would actually lose money on a sale now. That's why we want to wait..until we can at least get our money back, and find something suitable with 3 bedrooms! :) I think the size of the bedroom is big enough for now that the sharing shouldn't be too bad!

Sarah - posted on 03/05/2010

70

10

1

I know military housing will provide a separate room for children of opposite gender over 8 years old. We're planning on having our kids share a room (don't know what gender the new baby is yet) for at least a few years until we're ready to buy a home.

Angela - posted on 03/04/2010

80

6

7

One thing I have seen on TV is families using shelving or curtains to divide the space. Depending on how much space there is of course. It the room is too small that may not be practical. I would be most concerned about the younger one waking the older. I have a little one on the way in a month and my daughter won't be even be 2 years old when the new baby arrives. We wanted them to share a room, but in the end I was too concerned about having a crabby toddler because she was woken during the night. The new baby will be living in our walk in closet for the time being. I guess as much as we want things to be perfect, they probably never will be.

Rachel - posted on 03/04/2010

49

19

3

Thanks...that has a lot of really good points! I believe I will let my son and daughter let me know when they no longer enjoy sharing space. I guess I just need reassurance that I'm making the right decision and when to expect that they will start needing space! My son is very excited for his sister to come, and actually wants to share his room with her. I just don't know how long that will last. I know I shared a room with my sister for years, and didn't enjoy it. She was a clean freak and I...not so much. There were lots of fights. We now have a very close bond, but I just hope my kids don't feel trapped, and wanting private space, and me not able to provide it. I don't have any office space or anything...I wish! Thanks Lisa...that makes me feel better about taking my cues from them! :D

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms