How to get 2 year old ready for new baby? Once baby is here, how to make toddler feel ok about it?

Daye - posted on 04/09/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Hello all,
I am due in late October and by then my daughter will be just 2 years old and 2 months. I know; they are close together in age, but we will almost certainly only have 2 kids and we live overseas so I can be a stay home Mom. When I return to the states I will have to work outside the home again.

Anyway currently my toddler is 19 months old. How can I get such a young child ready for her new sibling??? She has a very strong personality and thrives off of lots of attention. Is there a way I can spread myself so that she does not feel neglected and resentful??

How else can I prepare for this HUGE event? I'm good on the stroller situation but I'm sure there are many things I haven't thought of.

Please help! I'm starting to think this was a very bad idea!

Thank you so much!

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Carrie - posted on 04/13/2010

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My son was just 2 yrs 4 months when my daughter was born. I talked with him all the time about being a big brother and Mommy's helper but the real helpful item was getting a gift for Christian from his new little sister. I gave it to him when I brought Cassidy home from the hospital so the attention was turned onto big brother :) When I nursed Cassidy I would read a story to Christian or make it our special time to watch a video he chose - I would point out that these are things a big brother gets to do while we wait for little sister to grow so she can join us. We have had very few problems with sibling rivalry and the two play together so well - Soon both of my little ones will have birthdays turning three and five and a new sibling as well :) I really try to ensure that we have special one-on-one time with each child and point this out without creating a competitive atmosphere. Oh and be prepared for some regression - Christian wanted to nurse and I let him try it out along with his new sister - It didn't last long because it was too slow - he asked for a cup. He also wanted a binkie and to try out her toys etc. I didn't make a big issue of any of it as long as he wasn't going to get hurt, hurt his sister or break anything and we moved through each phase rather quickly :) Many blessings to you as you add to your family.

I guess the biggest thing would be to relax and enjoy it. There are always little hurdles to overcome but you will succeed and be talking with someone else before you know it with great tips on how you handled everything.

Jascinta - posted on 04/17/2010

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i have 2 boys... the youngest is 7wks.. and there is 14mths between them. keeping in mind that every baby/child is different, i've found that making sure that jarmayne (oldest) has always been able to touch ('gently') and interact with rylan whenever he wants has helped. while i'm feeding etc i always talk to jarmayne about what hes doing and that way he doesn't feel like all my attention is taken away from him just because i'm holding rylan. i involve jarmayne when i clean up, so that i can still get things done and have time with him ( aswell as one on one time). he has been so great- the day we bought rylan home from hospital and jarmayne saw him he wanted to give him a kiss lol and has continued to smother him with kisses every chance he get. he also 'tickle tickle tickles' his feet which is really cute! and helps me bring up rylans wind with gentle pats on the back. i guess as long as you don't assosiate 'being in trouble' with new baby, and always try to stay calm and happy with supervised interaction it should be fine. i feel bad sometimes when i haven't had much time with jarmayne some days, but the next day usually changes things. i keep reminding myself that the first three months is the hardest during the newborn stage. stay positive and have faith that your little one will hopefully just take to being a good big sister. good luck and congrats

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April - posted on 04/19/2010

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my daughter was 18 months when my second one was born we got her ready by playing nice with baby dolls and i would carry a baby doll around like i would be doing with the new baby when she came home and i let my daughter hold the dolly and we just kinda pretended it was a real baby and when my yougest was born and we bought her home my oldest was soo excited we also found that it help letting my oldest feel like she was helping mommy that way she didn't feel left out she got to help feed the baby or get a diaper for her just small simple stuff. we also mad atleast an hour of just mommy time so she could stilll get the attention she needs and feel special. Hope this helps

Michelle - posted on 04/19/2010

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My daughter is 2 yr and 8 mon. and my new son is 7 weeks old. I really didn't do much to prepare her except talk about her new baby brother and point to my belly. Whenever we would get something new for the baby she would ask me if it was for baby brother or say it was hers. Most of the time I just agreed with her because I didn't want to always be saying that it wasn't hers and have her feel like everything was for him. At the hospital she stayed on the other side of the room for the first hour or so when he was born but then all of a sudden she came over and climbed on the bed and kissed him. Now she is a big helper at home. She always gets me a diaper or the babies binky or whatever else I ask for. For the most part she could care less that he's here.
I was nervous like you because she is completely spoiled and all of the attention was always on her. She also has a huge personality and can be emotional at times. So far everything has worked out. I wouldn't worry too much. All we can do is our best and that's usually enough. Just make her a helper and don't forget to give her some mommy time :)

Daye - posted on 04/19/2010

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Thank you everyone for your tips. I am still nervous though. Many of you have sons and boys seem so much better as far as the jealousy thing goes. Like the one Mom whose son ignored his new born sibling. If only I could be so lucky! There is NO WAY my daughter would do that. But I am trying to remain positive and hopeful. I will certainly try every suggestion I have received and I am eager for any more tips that anyone has!

Thank you SO MUCH everyone for contributing! I really appreciate EVERYONE'S input!

Sunny - posted on 04/19/2010

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My son was 2yrs 3months when my daughter was born so I had the same concerns leading up to the birth of our baby. To prepare for the big day, we bought a gift that we wrapped for our son from us so he didn't feel that he was left out while we were in hospital. We also wrapped a gift from him to the new baby and a gift from the baby to our son. When my son came to the hospital we got him to give the wrapped gift to the baby and in turn he received a gift from the baby. This seemed to have worked well as we found that our son bonded with the baby quickly, he is very affectionate, gentle and loves to give her a kiss and a cuddle. I also got him to help me with the baby by holding the baby's bottle, nappy, clothes etc and would praise him for helping mummy and doing a great job. Hope this helps.

Kristin - posted on 04/13/2010

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My son ignored his brother for the first 2 months. He just didnt care, he was curious but other than that didnt care. Then he started to interact or "help" out with his brother. From watching my two I think that the kids will just come around when they are ready. Just give them time.

Janet - posted on 04/11/2010

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Definately start talking about her being mommy's helper. Have her talk to the baby while in your tummy. Get her baby doll and begin showing her how to be gentle, kiss the baby etc. Buy an item for her to give the new baby and have a little gift for the new baby to give to her. Buy a big sister shirt and a little kids photo album so she can show off the new pics of baby when he/she arrives (see the sibling section here http://www.cjkidz.com/babyresourcepage.h...). Most of all, don't PANIC when the new baby arrives and your daughter goes toward her (a mistake I made) and make sure you schedule one-on-one time WITH JUST YOUR DAUGHTER after the new baby arrives. Good luck!

Louise - posted on 04/11/2010

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it is hard when a new baby comes along but if you can get her too help, maybe with fetching nappies and wipes when it is time to change the baby, or help hold a bottle if you choose to bottle feed. this helped my little girl who was almost 2 when her sister came along. make sure you make time just for your firstborn when the baby is napping tho so she doesn't feel left out.

Aurora - posted on 04/10/2010

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Hi, I also havea daughter and she just turned two. By the time the baby is due she will be 2 years and 6 months. We read boosks on babies and I point to my tummy telling her that she has a baby sister in there. We also are scared of how she will react once the baby is born because she loves our attention. I hope this helps. But I too would like to see what others say as I am terrified that they wont get along or my daughter may not like the baby.

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