I know I'm not the only one..

Mandy - posted on 07/16/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I am 32 weeks pregnant and have a 2 year old son. It is starting to get harder and harder just to deal with everyday life. Picking up toys, washing the dishes, even going to the grocery is a challenge. I have a fiance' but he works all the time, so its just me and my son Ethan most of the time, then I have his 4 year old daughter sometimes and she is an angel and a big help. I wish she was here more to keep my son occupied but she's not. Anyways, I guess I'm just looking for some support or maybe just to vent a minute. I hate complaining. Its rare that I do. I love my son and looking forward to a second baby, but its like the moment I complain or talk like I am actually human there is always someone to say things like "You're gonna find out!" or "You're gonna have your hands full" or "Can you imagine what its going to be like to have two of them?" UGH. For once Id like some positive re-enforcement. For once Id like to be told that it will be okay. I am nervous about having a newborn and my 2 year old. My son throws fits and tantrums like any normal 2 year old. I have fears like any mother would, I know I will deal, and I know I will be okay b/c I remember before I had my son how worried I was about this and that, and looking back it really wasnt such a big deal.

I am looking for support, maybe some ideas on what to do with a 2 year old when the new one comes, or how to deal when both children are screaming and crying. Any suggestions?

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J'Lynn - posted on 07/24/2009

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i know exactly how you feel!!!! my son just turned 2yrs old this past week and my second lil boy is 2months old. your going to do great trust me my son was always the center of attention and was the only grandchild so he was VERY spoiled and used to being the center of everyone's world. i was so worried how i was going to handle two boys and it didn't help that everyone was saying "your going to have your hands full"...or "just you wait its going to be hard".....that just made it worse. i wont lie Jerrik (my 2yr old) did have a hard time for about 2wks but now he calls his little brother his baby and whenever Beaux cry's he says "mommy my baby's crying" or "mommy Beaux needs me" he is always wanting to help and hes so protective over his baby brother. thay are so cute together and its so much fun. i am loving it especially now that Beaux only gets up 2times a night lol

one thing that helped us a lot was that we bought Jerrik big brother gifts (just toy cars nothing special) and gave him one when he came to see me and the baby for the first time and the other when we came home from the hospital. another thing we did was we never pushed Beaux on Jerrik when he was interested at looking or holding the baby we would let him of course but when he wanted nothing to do with the baby that was just fine to. we let Jerrik set the pace and its worked out great!!!!

Nina - posted on 07/24/2009

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I had that worry a couple of times. I had a 2 year old son when I got pregnant with my daughter and he went crazy because he still wanted to be the baby. Then I got pregnant a third time with my last son when my daughter was only 1. That was very hard at first, but I started incorporating a schedule into my daily routine. Now things are as they should be with naptime starting at noon and bedtime at 9 pm with meals,playtime,baths,etc. in between. My 4 month old has fallen into routine as well so try that after the baby comes! Good luck!!!!

Stacey - posted on 07/24/2009

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I am in the sae boat as you. My son will be 25 months old when this baby is born (I'm 6 weeks) and I'm dreading it as well. Like you I love my child and am excited for this one but it is hard. I dont have anyone to help me even when Daddy is here I still take care of my son by myself. My husband changed mybe one diaper this month and I'm saying "maybe" one bc I dont remember if he even changed it this month or last month. I'm only 6 weeks and finding everything hard. I am exhausted all the time and trying to keep the hubs happy with the house cleaning seems almost impossible.

He's the kind of guy where I can spend ALL day cleaning n when he gets home he'llsay "You cleaned the whole house but missed the ceieling fan." Talk bout a slap in the face. Nothing is ever clean enough. Funny how everyday I almost get to the verge of wanting to tear my hair out but when Gage (my son) is playing in the tub laughing and my house is a total wreck I still find his laughs heartwarming.

You're his whole world. You make him happy. He depends on you. When he gets scared he comes to moma because you can protect him. And finally after a long day and you look and feel like crap you look at your son and he's rubbing his eyes and yawning. You lay him down and tell him it's time for bed and give him his goodnight and tonight is the one night he falls right asleep (they rarely fall asleep that fast everyday but do have their days). Those are the days where it's all worth it. You WILL do fine. It's our nature to adapt and multi task. It's going to be a rocky road but you know it'll be worth it. Just try tokeep your eyes on the goal. And deffiantely get some mommytime. You deserve it! Keep me updated. I'd love to hear that everything is going well...maybe we can be Pushing Partners and push eachother to do our best! Good luck to you!

Tana - posted on 07/23/2009

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I'm 32 weeks pregnant, too (as it seems most people that replied are) and I'm due on September 15th but I'm having a c-section on the 9th (works out great because my son turns 3 on the 15th). Some days I don't know how I get the energy to do anything at all, and I think it's totally understandable that you feel rundown, tired, worried, etc, because that's part of being a mom. Sometimes I can't get up and play with my son like I want to because of pain or cramps or pure exhaustion, and on those days, my husband really helps out, and my daycare provider is super helpful. She'll drop my son off to me if I can't drive to get him and she makes sure I'm ok before she leaves my house. I'm still working a full time job and that's beginning to get tiring on me too, but I know it's all for the better good: a new and wonderful addition to our family.
Personally, I think that other people that aren't in your situation should keep there negative thoughts to themselves. The number one thing I get told is "Wow! You've got such a long way to go if you're not having a baby till ____." It's irritating to hear that for me because I feel I'm almost done and so close to holding a precious new one in my arms. I think everyone here understands how you feel, and I think that's who you should listen to rather than those people who just make you feel bad. You shouldn't feel bad if you're doing the best you can do, and it sounds like you are! So cheer up and smile, because you're almost there!!! :)

Amber - posted on 07/22/2009

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One more thing i might suggest is everyone in my family reffered to the baby as Trent's (my older son) baby. They would asked him if they could hold the baby. It made him feel important and ir made him want to help me by getting me diapers and other things to help take care of HIS baby.

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I can completely relate! I am due Sept. 15 & have a 3 yr old. It is getting harder and harder to pick him up, clean the house, even brush his teeth (as he likes to sit on the counter w/his feet in the sink). I find that I have to relinquish some things to dad! My son is getting used to Daddy having to carry him cuz mommy's tummy is too big though, so that is nice! My son absolutely loves to ride in the stroller, so if it's just the two of us we work it out that way, or in shopping carts. If my son is being a pill we just stay home, its easier on mom that way! So some things wait until dad's home to help or take care of the kid so I can go by myself, thank God for 24 hr grocery stores! I asked my girlfriend how she did it, taking care of a newborn w/3 kids (2 of which were both 2 at the time) and she said you just do. Cuz I'm mostly worried about how I'll possibly be awake to take care of #1? When I had my first son it was all I could do to stay awake...I don't even remember the first month :( So that's my concern, but I figure it'll work itself out, or nobody would have more then one! Every time my son gets someone around him to play with him he gets soo excited and this helps me when I think about having this new baby. Next year they will be able to play together, & my new one will look up to his big brother & I know there will be turmoil, but all is temporary! I had 5 siblings growing up and no we didn't always get along, but I cherish each one of them everyday as adults! We are all fairly close and knowing this helps too! I think being pregnant is the hard part right now! If it wasn't for this big belly sucking all the life from me, things would be great :) So once that's over with, and a couple weeks of no sleep, things will turn around!!! ALL TEMPORARY!

Brandie - posted on 07/20/2009

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Reading your blog looks all too familiar. However, I just had my baby on 6-25-09. My first child (Sophia) is 2 yrs. 8 months old. When I was in my last trimester of pregnancy I felt the SAME EXACT WAY! Throughout my pregnancy I got pelvic pain (cramps). I went to L&D 3 times and everything was always okay. The docs just said it's my body getting ready for the pregnancy and delivery, etc. It was slowly me way down! To the point where it was hard to just give Sophia a bath! Once I was on maternitly leave I thought, "cool, I can take Sophia to the park and we can have fun!". I did it a few times, but wasn't able to really play with her because I was so tired or in pain.



Now that I have a 3 1/2 wk old newborn and a 2yr old that will be 3 in Oct, I am still having the same dilemma. I want to take Sophia out to do stuff - it is summer, but I have my new baby to take of and breastfeed. I feel so bad because Sophia is stuck in the house or just at home with me and the baby. She will often to to her grandparents house to play and stuff though. I just wish I had the time to do more for my first daughter right now.



I just got over 2 wks of the baby blues and am feeling much better. The first 2wks were tough! Sophia didn't want me feeding the baby and she was just SO needy whenever I had to breastfeed the baby. She would cry for me and only want me to help her to the bathroom, get her dressed, etc. She wouldn't let my husband help her. I would cry everyday. Now I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I figure it's just a small sacrifice right now. Sophia will soon have a sister to play with. And next summer will be GREAT!



Try to think positive and don't let negative people affect you. Take all the help you can get after you get home with the newborn. Try to let other family members or friends take your toddler for the day to give you time to rest when the baby sleeps. A problem for me.....I believe in leaving all the chores so that I can sleep when the baby sleeps, well with a toddler in the picture that is hard to do. So, try to get people to take her for the day so that you can sleep when the baby sleeps during the day. GOOD LUCK! I feel ya!

Christina - posted on 07/20/2009

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I know how u feel also my son is going to be 5 my daughter is 15 months a I am due in december 3 kids at 26 oh boy I try to clean and go shopping and keep the kids busy and I get so tierd, My husband is great but he works all the time so it's me and the kids but I figure enjoy the kids get things done when I can they grow up so fast

Carianne - posted on 07/17/2009

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Hey Mandy! It's gonna be OK! I'm a stay-at-home mom and my husband works really long hours as well. I have a two year old daughter and just had my son (Ethan too :) in March. Honestly, almost everyone I talked to was on the negative side while I was pregnant... saying things like, "oh, just wait... bla bla bla" (you fill in the bla bla bla's, I'm sure you've heard them too). But looking back, it was much more difficult being largely pregnant with a two year old than having an infant and a two year old. My friend who has a two year-old and a 4 week old baby says the exact same thing. After you get back to your semi-normal self a couple of weeks or so after having the baby you'll find it much easier to deal with your son.



And get ready, because you are going to be SO thrilled when you see your son interact with the new baby! It's totally great. The good SO outweighs the bad, and you'll be really glad that you had two close together when they're older and can entertain each other. I'm looking forward to that day myself!



There will be times when they're both crying and you have to pick which one to comfort first, but you will get through it, and it will be ok! Unless one's need is definitely more urgent than the other's I usually take care of the baby first because I reason that my daughter had me all to herself the first 2 years and my son never will. Goofy, I know, but that's what helps me make the decision! Good luck! You'll be fine!

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It will all be ok!! I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 6mo old so I know what you are going through. If you have family around get help. I do not it just me and the kids most of the time their dad works long hours. If you fell overwhelmed and you need a break take it place both kids in a safe place and walk away. I do and you need that couple of minute break. They will be ok to cry for a few extra minutes I promise, just make sure it not something seriouse before walking away and taking five.

Talk to your 2 yr old about what is going to going on and explain now that mommy will not at their every wish. The first few weeks you will have some time to help break you sone in with that newbaby, because the baby will sleep alot. I hope for you sanity. I would also make sure when the trarums come inforce that time out with the 2 yr old. I have and that has helped alot with melt down and screaming. When baby is alseep take that time to play games or color with the oldest. Well best of luck all will be ok and you will make it.

Marissa - posted on 07/17/2009

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I have the same problem. I am 32 weeks also & my daughter is only 19 months. She has already got that terrible two's stage. We have a big household. Including our soon arrival there will be 8 people living in my household. My husbands brother and sister are home all day long and they see the way that i struggle with my daughter when she throws her fits because she does it when she is on my lap and it hurts! But on top of picking up after myself and my husband, I pick up after his 15 year old brother who is just like picking up after 3 kids. Since we are staying with his parents there isnt much that i feel i can say. I get no help his mother works two jobs, and when she is home she tries and help me but she is just so run down. My husband works all hours off the day just to make ends meet. & my father in law is on constant call. You are not the only one that is having the same feelings, I am scared about bringing the new baby home because of my daughters fits and since she is used to getting her way, how she will act with the new baby. But there are plenty of other mothers that we able to make it past these few obsticals and i am sure that we will be able to make it through them too. You seem like a very strong independent woman and i am sure that you can handle what ever your son throws at you, when the new baby comes. When you do get a chance just take advantage instead of taking a shower take a long hot relaxing bath. Try relaxing yourself. It may help.

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