I need some advice, my husband never helps!

Stephanie - posted on 05/25/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I am a stay at home Mom to my daughter who is 28 months old and I am 30 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child. My husband was laid off his job in March and has still currently not found a job. My husband is home most of the time but he is always in our bedroom on the computer or watching TV. He never helps me with the house or with OUR daughter. I am so... stressed out right now, I am very pregnant and I stay tired all of the time. It would be differant if he was working 40+ hours a week and he was tired after work, but right now he isn't working so I think he should be doing just as much as I do. I bathe, feed, play, dress and put our daughter to bed every night alone. Not to mention that she is 2 and is having her moody independent phase right now and is difficult to work with sometimes. I clean the house by myself and cook every meal. I have tried to talk to him about him helping me alot more, but of course I'm just nagging him. I am so frustrated with him right now and I just don't know what else to do. I find myself yelling at my daughter sometime just b/c I am so stressed. I never get a break, I never even leave the house except for going grocery shopping which I have to take her with me even when he is at home doing nothing. He just doesn't appreciate anything I do and today I was putting away laundry and my daughter got the cell phone off of the counter and he got mad because "I wasn't watching her" I can't watch her every second when I have chores that need to be done, that's why he should be in the living room with her while I am cleaning around the house. I don't know what I should do to get through to him, I really need some advice from other Moms!

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Shay - posted on 09/03/2012

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My husband and I both work so we split all duties.of our two kids but my husband was stqrting to slack off during the evening and try to put all kid duties on me and Ive talked with him about for a few days but out the ear it went. Then sat morning I woke up got ready and walked out the door and left the kids with him. i spent the day relaxing and doing me time which was greatly needed. By the end of the day he apologize and said he was sorry for not helping with kids and understood how I was feeling and to talk out our differences. Men at times forget to show appreciation for to there wife and.end up taking us for granted at time until we put our foot down.

Kassidey - posted on 05/26/2010

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Last time my husband did that crap, I told him EXACTLY how I felt about it and then I packed a bag for me and the baby and went to stay with my sister for the weekend (but made it clear I was NOT leaving him). I told him when he decided to see reason and to talk to me about what had him so depressed (because depression is usually at the bottom of that kind of behavior... especially when he's out of work), he knew where to find us. My husband didn't even last 24 hours. Men love their wives, they just sometimes forget to appreciate us.

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Meagan - posted on 05/27/2010

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your husband is probably going through a lot emotionally right now too. I know thats hard to hear because it doesnt seem like he is doing a damn thing lol. But it sounds to me like he might be depressed? Men are weird creatures. Most men thrive on providing for their families. If he is usually used to holding down a job and being the bread winner and then goes to doing nothing but staying at home and has no schedule it could be a blow to his ego. Try talking to him about this and maybe suggesting little things he could help you out with, and let him know you know he isnt motivated, but you arent either. Invite him to cook dinner with you or try a new recipe. And always be sure no matter what the situation to keep your romance alive. get a baby sitter and go on a date. make him feel like your man and maybe he will start crawling out of his hole and get motivated to get a job or maybe at least help you out around the house more. Financial stress and depression are traumatic to relationship. If you catch it now you might be able to work through it together instead of leaving. :)

Kelina - posted on 05/26/2010

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My husband works but now he helps out with the house as well. Right before my son was born we bought a house with his sister and her husband and by the time my son was six months old I knew we needed to get out. I tired everything. I had already threatened to leave my husband because he wouldn't help out with the baby and if i tried to get some relief from the screaming baby and get some me time, i couldn't because our son wouldn't go to my husband. AFter i had tried talking to him, reasoning with him etc, etc, I finally ended up losing my temper one day. When he (finally) called me from work I told him i was going out and I would call him when I knew where I was going. I packed a bag and ended up staying two nights at a friends with the baby. I think it was the biggest wake up call he'd gotten since i threatened to leave him if he didn't start acting like a father. Unlike Kassidey I made it clear to him that I would do what was best for me and my son and if that meant raising him on my own I would. But Kassidey is right, men love their wives, but soemtimes they don't realize what they have until it's not there for a time.

Kelly - posted on 05/25/2010

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I went through that. what i did in the end was grab my bag and keys and left my son with his dad and said i'm giong out for me time see you when i get back. I went for a drive and went to have coffee with a mate and came back 5 hrs later, he was stress to the max but he came to realize that he was taking advantage of me. it will be hard at first to do it but it the best thing i ever did.

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