I want to breastfeed my second child until she is around 1 year old but my partner doesn't agree

Mel - posted on 11/25/2009 ( 22 moms have responded )

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With my 1st baby I unfortunately couldn't breastfeed because I was very unwell and also lost alot of blood during the labour. I'm now pregnant with my second child (a girl) and i really want to breastfeed her until she is around 1year old but my partner thinks its far too long, he believes even 3months is too long. any advice?

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Katrin-Anna - posted on 02/02/2010

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It is highly recommended to breastfeed for as long as you feel comfortable. Breastmilk can provide a lot more benefit than formula in that it also contains anti-bodies with the correct nutrients for baby. I breastfed my 1st for 1 year and really wanted to with my 2nd too but he had other ideas and at 6 months i gave up. Having used both methods, i must admit i'm going to try for 1 year with my 3rd baby as it's so much easier than bottle feeding.

Kelsey - posted on 02/01/2010

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Most literature will say that a year is the good goal, but as everyone else has said it's a personal choice. Why does he feel like 3 months is too long is it him wanting them to himself, because if it is really that important to him maybe you'll need to come to a compromise, but you still get to breastfeed, that first year as you know with your first goes by too fast anyway!

Paula - posted on 02/01/2010

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Babies aren't supposed to take solids till 6 months now so personally any point from there would be ok, I agree that teeth can be an issue to - they kinda scare me!! I breastfed our son till he was 8 months and he is on hypoallergenic formula milk still (he's 2.5 years) cause he has dairy and soya allergy which we didn't discover the extent of till I stopped. We haven't decided how long to breastfeed the new one yet (am 17 weeks pregnant) but my boyfriend has always supported my decision his only request was that I did it for as long as I felt comfortable (bottle fed my 1st 3 - different partner).

Delia - posted on 01/27/2010

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First off, it's your choice and second where ever he's getting his information from is wrong. The longer a baby is breast feed the less likely they develope certain illnesses. You also have to consider the cost of formula. I don't know if your guy is a reader or not but there is information out there that shows how important breastfeeding is for you and your baby. As for the it hurts comment below... I breastfeed both of my babies and it never hurt.. If the baby latches properly nothing sould hurt. Better latch more milk.. Whatever decison is the best for you and your baby...

Marialisa - posted on 01/27/2010

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Do what suits your life style. Some plan and when it comes to it the answer certainly comes to them :) a few of my friends had the same plans but after a week they gave up. Some it was the situation, some their babies were colic. So if i were you just see how it goes. Sit down with your partner and go through all the reasons why he thinks its best shorter time. You also have to be prepared for how your baby goes from you to a bottle when your wanting some space to go out with out baby. I had four and all breast fed and each one was different. Two of my children i bought every bottle i could get and they would not drink the milk from it so things like this you will have to think of. You also have to prep yourself if your up for the idea of waking up to every feed if the baby just wants you only. In health wise its best to feed your baby till their 6 months but best is as long as you can but i always think its best to what suits your life style as baby wont benefit from a stressed mom and home. Hope this helps :)

Sara - posted on 01/26/2010

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I breastfed my first (5 mos preggo with my 2nd now). I nursed her until she was a year! My husband was overseas for her first 6 months, but he never had an issue with it after he got home because he got to help by feeding her the solids.
As everyone else said, studies show that the first 6 months is when its the most beneficial. Theres also a correlation between intelligence and breastfeeding (not to say that formula fed babies are mentally deficient in any way!!) But there are a lot of beneficial things in your breastmilk that just cant be duplicated in a lab. Ive also read that children eat better because they get different tastes of what you've had, through nursing! Go to www.breastmilk.com - theres a lot of different information there if you want something to show him. But he shouldnt force you or guilt you into quitting any earlier than you want to!

Susan - posted on 01/26/2010

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If my partner was trying to control how long I nursed my baby, it would send up yellow flags for me. Does he try to control you in other ways as well? Otherwise, I recommend what many others have said... try to educate him about the benefits of breastfeeding. Good luck!

Chelsey - posted on 01/24/2010

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I say do what you know is right and what you want. The W.H.O reccomends breastfeeding for 1 year and then as long as you are comfortable/able to go on. I breast fed my son and then I dried up around 10 months although I was aiming for at least 12 months. Also whether you plan to breast feed for 12 weeks or 12months I highly reccomend investing in a tube of Lansinoh it will help you get through the first painful 6 weeks by soothing dry skin and it is perfectly safe for baby. You could also use some other cream for breastfeeding too, but I liked this best.

Sheryll - posted on 01/24/2010

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Hey Mel, Im sorry to sound rude but tell him to get over himself.If you want to breastfeed your baby that long then Is up to you and your baby.He should want the best for your baby and breastfeeding is it.I breastfeed my son but because he was a hungry baby I gave him formula at night cause he would wake like every 2 hours at night and he ended up self weaning at 2 months I was gutted.So with my daughter she is 4 months and Im still feeding her.So do what you think and feels right.

Maggie - posted on 01/21/2010

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I had the same situation with my first and second child. I wasn't able to breastfeed my first child because well let's face it breastfeeding is a two way street and my daughter wasn't cooperating at all with it. So, when I got pregnant with my second child I was determined to breastfeed her and do so for as long as possible. My situation was kind of the opposite because everyone really wanted me to breastfeed my first and pressured me about it alot. It got to the point where I was crying and cringing through the whole feeding just because I wanted to please everyone that I was sucking it up and just doing it for my daughter. In the end I gave up and went with how I felt. I was way to uncomfortable to breastfeed her and I thought it was best to just give her formula. Fortunatley I was able to breastfeed my second child and it was a joy to do it for as long as I could. I really think that you should go with your instincts. In the end it is up to you to decide how to nourish your baby. Also remember there are many ways to still breastfeed without actually having the baby attached to you, such as expressing and storing your milk. I found this to be very helpful especially when my daughter started teething. Good Luck!!

Angela - posted on 01/21/2010

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My husband initially felt the same way about nursing. He thought that 3 months was enough. Once the baby came however, and he saw how much the baby and enjoyed nursing he had no issues with it. He also realized that it was cheaper, more convenient and that he NEVER had to get up at night because I was the only one who could. I stopped nursing at 10 months and although I was sad I new my daughter was ready. I think once teeth enter the picture I would be done. She was a late teether and we stopped just in time : )

Rebecca - posted on 01/21/2010

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It is the best thing for the baby, so you should do it regardless of his opinion. if he cares about his family, and what is best for you and your soon-to-be lil one, he will come around

Theresa - posted on 01/21/2010

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You need to do what you feel is best for you and your baby. Docs say the longer you can the better it is for the baby. I had a very tough time with my first two and with my third I just really wanted to go as long as I could. i nade it to 6 months and was very satisfied with that. You may change your mind as you get going with it and he may as well. In the mean time, I'd just drop the subject. Breastfeed as long as you can if he says something a few months down the road, deal with it then. You may also want to point out the cost benefit of breastfeeding versus formula. Formula is VERY expensive. Have you asked why he's against breastfeeding for very long? Maybe he's afraid he'll be left out. If that's the case you coucld pump one or two bottles a day so he can take part in the feedings too.

Alaine - posted on 01/21/2010

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Stay strong to what you want, I breastfeed my daughter untill she was 3 and I don't think that is to long. As they say breast is best and a healthy baby is a happy baby and it makes you feel happy 2. The bonding that you get from breastfeeding is beautiful and why should you miss out on that. Has your partner told you why he feels this way? Even if you do it for just 3 months it will be benefical for you both but if you can do it for as long as you can.

Tara - posted on 11/28/2009

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You should get your partner some books and articles on how benefical breast milk is for a baby. Then simply let him know that its your body its a call he just can't make, although I'm sure its just beacuse he wants your boobs for himself, we love our men but they can be so selfish sometimes!!. Also make sure you stay open minded about the possiblities that you may not be able to breastfeed for as long as you would like. I was able to nurse my 1st for 7 mo. I would have went longer but she just lost interest and my milk dried up. Now I am expecting my 2nd in Jan. and I am working full time. I am trying to except the fact that I probably may only get to nurse for 5 mo. until I go back to work.

Lisa - posted on 11/27/2009

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i also couldnt breast feed my 1st but with my second i did it for 2 weeks, i know its not a long time but it does hurt so i expressed my milk and a week later i ran out so its up to u and how u feel when u do it. its not un common to do so. but if u feel that its right and ur husband doesnt want u too, he shud atleast agree to expressing ur milk.

Kelly - posted on 11/26/2009

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I think that he wants to have those special moments with his baby by giving her a bottle!! I also agree that 1 year is way too long, but thats personal to each person. Good luck :)

Mandy - posted on 11/26/2009

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one year is a good goal; you're baby doesn't even eat solid food til 6mo. It feels totally natural and you should definitely go for it if you want. Breastmilk is so much cheaper and easier to deal with than formula; plus it's obviously the best for your baby healthwise. you're guy will get used to it :)

Rachel - posted on 11/26/2009

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Hi Mel! That's awesome that you would like to breastfeed a full year! All statistics show that this is most beneficial for the baby and will get her off to a good start, reduce her chances for cancer and obesity, among many other benefits. Does your partner understand all these benefits? I highly recommend sharing websites (like the Le Leche League, sp?), pamphlets and books on the topic with your partner.

I know how difficult it is for a guy to go without one of his favorite parts of your body, but if he loves your child, he must be willing to deal with it for the health and well being of the child. I'm preggo w/ baby #2 and have told my husband that, this time around, bobbies are completely off limits until I'm done breastfeeding. It was just too weird with breastfeeding my son when my husband was continuing to be intimate with my breasts at the same time. I contribute that weirdness to one of the many reasons we stopped breastfeeding at only 5 months. He is disappointed, but since he is educated on the benefits of breastfeeding, he is willing to give that up for the sake of his child.

Helen - posted on 11/26/2009

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You probably will find that it not so much the idea that you want to breastfeed for so long but the fact that he wants your boobs for himself and really doesn't want to share them with anyone even his own daughter!!!!!! I also couldn't breastfeed my first as I just didn't have any milk but for my second a daughter I was determine to breastfeed for as long as I could, if I could and I have been able to and I am still breastfeeding her and she turned 1 on the 24th of Nov. I have enjoyed every minute, well not in the beginning but now I do and I don't really want to think about giving it up!!!!

Brandy - posted on 11/25/2009

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It's your body and your choice. It's not like they remember it that young if that's what he's worried about and there are alot of benefits for your baby if you do. Not to mention the cost of formula vs. breastmilk. One's free. lol.

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