overwhelemed mom

Cheyenne - posted on 09/27/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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hi im 21 and i have a 20 month old and and another on the way in dec. lately ive been feeling trapped like i cant go or do anything without my son. im a stay at home mom while my bf works one full time job and one part time job. i guess i just need to vent because i dont feel its fair to me to be doing all the work for our son. i cook and feed him, do all our laundry, clean up after him, get up with him in the middle of the night, im awake with him if hes up until midnight. its always me. and i know i've had people tell me why dont i go to work and my bf stay home, but it wouldnt work. my bf CANNOT handle our son. he sleeps all the time and i have found my bf sleeping on the couch while hes supposed to be watching our son for 20 min while i take a shower or run to the store for milk. and he is a very heavy sleeper so he cant hear our son wake up. i have 1 good friend and thats all( im not joking). i had 2 other friends but i couldnt handle them blowing me off or not wanting to talk to me when i needed them. we live with my bf parents and they both work full time as well so im pretty much here by myself unless my bf is sleeping from working graveyards. i occasionally get to take the car to my moms house for a few hours but thats about it or if my son has a doc appt. im just feeloing really trapped and helpless. its a dificlt situation for me because my bf does work and he needs the gas to go to work everyday( 60 miles to and from work) so there will be times where i wont even leave the house for a week at a time. ive kinda stoped wanting to make new friends because i dont se the point if i cant even get out of the house and take my car somewhere without my bf permission. and with a new baby coming into the pic im worried things between me and my bf will get even worse. and i wont be able to handle 2 kids by myself. if anyone has gone through this please help. and i was in couseling but i had to stop because my bf didnt think i needed it so i stopped so we wouldnt break up.

and ladies, if you dont have anything nice to say about this then i would suggest dont reply. i have enough problems and i dont need to deal with aruging to someone i dont even know.

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Kelina - posted on 10/24/2011

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i wish you lived by me! then maybe i'd have a walking buddy :) I know what it's like to get blown off and how discouraging it can get when people keep doing it. Especially now we are heading into the winter months and being cooped up in the house sucks! I have a couple questions-does your son sleep through the night at all? And have you talked with your boyfriend about how you're feeling? I know sometimes other people will look at your situation and say things that don't help because they don't understand how you think and feel. A lot of people don't understand what it's like to be scared or dependent. And they don't take these things into account. I also want to know why do you live with your boyfriends parents if he works two jobs? wouldn't the point of living with them be so he wouldn't have to work so hard and could spend more time with you and the babies? Kids are a two person job and I more than applaud the moms that go it alone, they get a standing ovation because i'd go mental trying to do what they do. I do suggest you start going to the cousellor again. Maybe ask your boyfriend if he'll go with you so that he knows whats going on with you. Maybe the counsellor can give you some tips on how to keep your relationship strong with two little ones. It's hard on a relationship having children. They demand time and energy and cost money. And where once all that time and energy was put into the baby conceiving act, now that act has often disappeared and someone else is taking up all of mommy's time and energy. And where once all the extra money in the house went to dates and nights out, and fancy new things for mom and dad, now it goes to toys for the kids, diapers, wipes, and all the otehr wonderful things that babies and children need. New clothes(all the time) New shoes(cause their feet grow as fast as the rest of them) food(because they need that to grow) and everything is of course scheduled around whe they sleep. No more styaing up until midnight, bedtimes 8! I would recommend trying to get your son on a routine it'll help keep you sane. Having him stay up til midnight cause he feels like it is NOT good for you and will be even harder with a new baby. I would also go see your doctor, it's possible you have depression and might need a little help. Good luck!

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Aniesha - posted on 10/29/2011

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Poor thing, I feel sorry for you. I've got an almost 3 yr old & one on the way, & it sucks when you're at home by yourself all the time! I'm lucky that I have family that help me out a lot, & my partner has pretty good hours, but it can still get lonely! Sounds to me like your man needs to be a bit more understanding to your situation, but I don't know how you can make him see what you're going through. Best of luck hun:), and don't give up on finding some decent friends......they are out there! Though they may be few & far in between sometimes.

Marijke - posted on 10/06/2011

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Hey, I really don't know how you feel but just wanted to say my hats off to you for doing what you do. I know I felt extremely overwhelmed and didn't face the same problems you do.

I hope you find someone to talk to, even if its just an online friend who can help you escape (in mind) from time to time.

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