so scared of hurting my unborn baby

Merry - posted on 08/31/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )

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Ok so Hi! first off, my name is Laura I am 21 married, and mom to Eric who is almost 1 1/2 I am 5 weeks pregnant. Both Eric and this baby were desperately wanted and planned. Eric will be breastfed until he grows out of it presumably around the age of 4. I am looking forward to tandem nursing both. I stay at home with Eric and babysit a friends 1 year old 2-6 weekdays.

Ok so that me, now for my question.
I am so obsessed with not 'hurting' the baby inside me. I worry when I sit with my legs up to my chest, i worry when eric lays on my belly to nurse. I worry when I sleep on my belly. I worry when I jump. I worry when my seatbelt or pants is too tight on my belly.
I know the baby s only 1/4 inch now and barely has a beating heart so I know its ridiculous to be this scared. I wasnt like this with Eric I dont think but maybe I was but I was able to just cator to my belly all day instead of having a toddler to care for. I wonder when I have to stop sleeping on my belly and back and when I should keep pressure off of my belly. I mean how can the baby grow well if its getting smushed so much? wow I know the facts and I knnow this isnt that big of a deal but I cant help it. I just want to do the best I can for this baby and I feel like I could be compromising its health.
I also feel helpless to do anything for this new baby. I can take prenatals and eat right and sleep enough and exercise. But thats all stuff I have been trying to do in general. So I guess maybe I just dont want to forget about this child so the only thing I can do is worry.
Now its not a blinding worry, its not affecting my life, its just always in my mind how the baby is doing and if Im doing things right by him/her.

am I the only one?

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Alyssa - posted on 09/07/2010

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I've actually got some similar feelings which is very strange to me. With my first, I was coaching a high school dance team. I was dancing with them 2-3 hours a day 3 days a week and then working on choreography outside of that. I was 6 months when the season ended. I was also working in a restaurant at the time and was constantly reaching way too high for things, carrying items that were far too heavy for me to carry, bumping into counters and tables... Nothing I did ever crossed my mind, it never dawned on me I might be hurting the little thing growing inside.

Now, my son is 15 months old and I'm 13 weeks along. I'm worried about him and his climbing all over me. I worry about the cats climbing all over me... I worry about some of the smallest things and I never worried about it with my son!!! I keep reminding myself that I did much worse when I was pregnant with my boy but its still, like you said, a nagging feeling in the back of my head to be careful.

Serena - posted on 08/31/2010

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You'd be surprised how strong that baby bump really is. But I do understand your fear and honestly the hormones are not helping. I know when I was pregnant I had an overwhelming fear of harm coming to my oldest. Maybe it was watching way too much Criminal Minds and Law & Order SVU...
But it sounds like you are doing a great job...Good Luck

Hillary - posted on 09/04/2010

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Women all throughout history have done physical labor, tended other children and breast fed while pregnant. It's normal. When I was pregnant with my first child, I tap danced until I was about 7 months along. I also often went hiking through the woods. And I worked full-time as a nurse up until the day I had the baby. My first child was a toddler when the second was born. I still worked full-time up until the last minute and I had to take care of the first one on my own because my husband started working in the evenings. The second was only 20 months old when the third was born. I was breast feeding and lugging around a very heavy baby while I was pregnant. Like you, I love to sleep on my stomach. It's the only position I'm truly comfortable in. With each pregnancy I simply slept on my stomach until I was too uncomfortable to continue. With the third child I slept on my stomach for the first six months or so of the pregnancy because I hardly gained any weight and I was still comfortable. I have three very happy healthy, strong and smart children.

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I don't think any of that can harm the baby I was super clumsy my first pregnancy so I asked if tripping and landing on my tummy would hurt him he said that even at 9 months it is highly unlikely to cause harm it would have to be a car accident force to hurt him inside his safe place and that usually even after that baby is fine... try not worry. The only thing I could think of is nursing in the 3rd trimester if you have any risks for preterm labor or high blood pressure but my doc thinks its completely safe in an uncomplicated pregnancy. I'm 21 wks with #2 and I was really nervous in the begining too. I figured I was so lucky to have one healthy baby so how likely is that to happen again but once you feel movements again you will relax. congratulations!

Merry - posted on 09/07/2010

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Thanks Alyssa, it really helps to see other moms have the same experiences!!! Maybe we just realize more how precious this baby is, and how fragile they are at birth makes us think they are even more fragile inside us.

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Cait - posted on 10/12/2010

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the baby is in a bubble of water, relax..stress will hurt you more than worrying about things you cant control :)

Kelina - posted on 09/05/2010

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I wish my son had nursed longer! when he hit 14 months he was no longer interested and i really miss it!

Roni - posted on 09/04/2010

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Definately not the only one! I did this as well but I knew that I was not hurting him! It is the same things you did when you were pregnant with your first (well it was with mine) I nursed all the way through my second pregnancy and closer to the end I did have to be careful due to my daughter nursing and I would start contracting So I would have her stop for a bit and then she could resume after I calmed my body down. If something is wrong or you feel like you shouldnt do it then dont but try not to let it drive you crazy!

Merry - posted on 09/04/2010

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Sure, well first off the world average age of weaning is 4 1/2 years so it's actually quite normal to nurse that long. I researched what all the drs and scientists and anthropologist said about the normal length of nursing. When society isn't influencing, every child will naturally nurse at least 2.5 years but most for around 4-5 years and the high end children at 7-8 years. This is going strictly on how they are instinctively wired. By following the needs of the child you can see how long the child needs to nurse. Since I expect to have a third child around erics 4th birthday I think he might wean then. But I can't say. I know it sounds strange but over in breastfeeding moms group there is a thread called full term nursing and in it is stories of more then 100 women with children nursing more then 2 years.
2 years is the minimum because the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned before then. So 2 is the accepted minimum and then if you practice child led weaning it's usually going to be at least another year. The longer they nurse the healthier it is for child and for mom. More years of lactating protects mom from many cancers and osteoporosis. And the child doesn't have a complete immune system until age 8 so the closer you get to then with your milk protecting them the stronger their immune system will be. Longer nursing also widens the Childs mouth to better shape for teeth, like when kids have too small mouths and need teeth pulled it's cuz the bottles let the mouth shape small. And nursing longer protects the child from diabetes and obesity and cavities, and childhood cancers . The longer, the more protection.

Ok that's my novel :) I'll post links for the facts if you want. Thanks for asking!
Laura

Merry - posted on 08/31/2010

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aww, thanks girls! I try to keep the worrying on the light side, its just more of a nagging thought on my mid. But I hope after I hear the heartbeat I might calm down. Definately once I can feel kicks I am more confident that I could tell id somthings wrong. But thats all a way away. my drs apt isnt for 3 weeks and I wont feel kicks for at least 10 more weeks so Ill hang in there until then!
thanks, laura

Sarah - posted on 08/31/2010

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To quote an experienced mom (my aunt) as she watched me and my cousins and friends get into a car a long time ago when we were young 20-somethings to go camping by ourselves, "You never stop worrying about your children!"
Now as a mom myself, I know that to be true! lol It never ends, no matter how old they are! Fetus-age to full-grown adult, you worry. Do try not to worry though, your beautiful new baby inside of you (congrats by the way! haha) will feel all of your emotions, don't you want him/her to really only feel the good ones? lol It goes so fast too! Make sure you record in a journal the experience, I wish I had done that with my second pregnancy like i did my first. I was so busy constantly the second time around that I literally feel like I can't remember ANY of being pregnant with our son! Its sad! Plus keeping a journal might help you feel more connected to this baby, and not like you're forgetting about him/her....its easy to do, toddlers and work and life keep a mommy very occupied :) I'm now pregnant with our 3rd and it flew by even faster than the last one. (3 more months to go!) The more kids you have the harder it gets to enjoy just being pregnant. But make sure you at least try, it goes so fast and before you know it, you'll be holding your baby in your arms and wonder what happened the last 9 months. lol Cherish it and don't worry about baby, he or she is very safe and enjoying all your moving around, the best thing you can do for baby is be happy and thrilled for your growing family! Love and laugh with your son, with your husband, eat good healthy food and push all negative thoughts away, your baby will love you for it. :D

Kelina - posted on 08/31/2010

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Nope! My son is 18 months and in 3 short months is going to have a baby sister! It's been a bit of a long pregnancy cause he's a hefty kid who walked late and likes to crawl allllll over mommy. I can't tell you the number of times i've been kneed, head butted, smacked or jumped on, and that only by my son! (All accidental of course. That's what happens when you're a human jungle gym) We also have two dogs, ones a lab puppy who doesn't quite know how strong she is and get s a little over enthusiastic when being petted. It's amazing how well designed our bodies are to protect our babies and once you start feeling baby moving that should be able to ease some of your anxiety. What usually happens now when i get smacked in the tummy is she smacks back! there;s nothing like getting beaten on from the inside. TRy not to worry too muhc, baby has a nice cushiony bed right now and doesn't feel any of the discomfort that you do. Maybe try reading some pregnancy books. Even though this is your second time around it might help you feel a little less helpless to know whats going on with baby and stuff like that. Good luck and congratulations!

Tawnya - posted on 08/31/2010

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You are not the only one, I have a 3 year old boy who is still very clingy to me and also have a 1 year old daughter who likes to lay on mommy...I am currently 12 weeks pregnant and so far everything is going perfect, got to hear a healthy strong heartbeat. I worry alot to but i've just started moving my kids around my belly. When my daughter climbs on me I just pull her up closer to my chest because I know the baby is still fairly low. My son has been really good when he starts to climb I just remind him to be careful of baby and he stops. So you are not alone, it's normal to be worried but I don't think you have anything to be concerned about :-)

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