I don't know what to do

[deleted account] ( 13 moms have responded )

I quit my job to stay home to take care of my 5 month old son. It took too much gas to take him to family to be watched while I worked for $60 to $100 a week. My husband brings in about $150 a week and he's going to college. We live in his parents basement which is just a big room. His parents don't have any money either. We've gotten all his baby items from family and we are on WIC. The only food we eat is off of the WIC but my son is on more formula now so they are taking off our food since I don't breastfeed as much. We have a lot of bills and I don't know what to do. I can't breastfeed as much because I'm not eating enough.. What do I do??

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Angel - posted on 01/18/2010

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Hey Bridgett!...just checking on you....sounds like you are getting more good advice. The Sam's club and Food Saver is really good. I use those myself. It does save alot of money. At Sam's (or bulk stores in your area)...I buy things that I know I have to use daily...like: toilet paper, sugar, frozen vegetables, meat, cheese, etc...
With the Food Saver you can separate any of these (except for the toilet paper) down to make them smaller packages. Sugar you can food save and store in your cabinet. Make a list and stick to it. Try not to stray from it. I always view the ads before I go and either print a list or there is a site called Cozi.com (it's a family organizer and it's free) you can make a grocery list on it and have it texted to your cellphone (so when you are in the store you have your list with you right on your phone)...I have used it and it works great. If my husband was gone to the store and I forgot to tell him to get something, you can have it texted to his phone as well. It's really handy. Are you on facebook? I will look you up. I'll gather up some more things I use and send them to you. Have a great day!

Angel - posted on 01/17/2010

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well is sounds like you are trying your best to do what you can...that's all you can do at this point...just remember: God, Family, Others....that's how the Bible teaches us...so, your first priority is God, then your family...having food/water/shelter......then others: c/c's, cable, cellphone companies, etc...those are things we can live without if we had to (those werent around when I was growing up so its easy for me to say that)...Im in no means telling you not to pay them but Im saying to prioritize and work your way down the list of what's most important at the moment since your money is limited. The bills are still there. You are right...the extra money from the babysitting will definitely help you. I understand about the employment and everything being slow...it's the same way here where I live. My husband's company where he works has even been cutting hours some weeks and it really hurts when you have a budget you live on. Really try the budget...it will really hurt the first few weeks because you are used to having money go other places...it just takes a little patience...but then you will start seeing a difference and some of the stress will be lifted.
Oh...plan meals that will go far and that dont cost alot....like stews, chili, casseroles, you can also freeze what you dont use. Pancakes (make them smaller) and make up more at one time (freeze them for later and you have them when money is more limited again)...cornbread (you can do the same thing) it goes good with chili, stews, beans, etc...Kroger is a good store to go to because they have good sales and double coupons...utilize those coupons that you can double when something is running on sale...just make sure it is on sale when you use the coupon to get the bigger savings...if you have a walmart in your area...they will match prices on any listed add price...so that way you dont have to run to different stores. Just keep your chin up...keep a positive attitude...look at each day as though it is going to get better than it was before! :) Through Faith! :)

Angel - posted on 01/17/2010

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I am sorry I wasnt able to help you further...what about low income housing in your area?
I used to work for a c/c company...there used to be a program available called a hardship program...they normally dont offer it...you have to ask. Your c/c's have to be at least 2mths behind...then they will close the acct and offer you or negotiate with you a settlement amount...keep in mind it does report on your credit bureau report when you do this. There is also credit counseling programs (check for the "free" ones available) some of them charge a fee) but they help you create a working budget with what you have. You definitely need to get out on your own as soon as possible...not that your parent/inlaws are not doing what they can to help but it can also keep you in a depressed state of mind where your goals seem further away. If you belong to a local church...you could talk privately with your pastor...let him know how you are struggling at the moment and what your goals are...see if your church maybe willing to help with "free" daycare (if you did want to take on part time work) etc...
Another thing...when your husband is off from work, you could try to find something part time so "he" could be with your child and vice verse...just until you catch up a little and then you could end your job again. You and your husband may not see each other like you want for a little while but it could give you some extra money. Some coupon sites I go to: smartsource.com, coupons.com, coolsavings.com, bettycrocker.com, nestle.com, eclip.com, valpak.com......you can view/clip/print your coupons....try watching your sale ads and match coupons to whats on sale...if you have grocery stores in your area that run double coupons, use them at that time so you get more off your grocery bill. Well, I will keep checking on you and pass along anything else that may help you. God bless you!

[deleted account]

Thank you Angel Abel. We live in his parents basement so we do not pay for cable or internet. We have tried to apply for food stamps and were denied because we have to include the entire houses income. His parents get social security but they pay for their daughters rent too... I don't even have medical insurance. My son has Medicaid and my husband is covered by his job but I am not. Our bills consist of cell phone, life insurance for my husband and I, the Grow Up plan from Gerber for my son, three credit card bills (we cut them), school expenses for my husband. We called the cellphone company and he said they would lower our minutes so it would cut our bill down. We have one car and we don't pay the insurance on it, his dad does (it made his less expensive and he refuses our money). I know others have it so much harder but this house is awful. His mom is a hoarder. We FINALLY got the basement cleaned and FINALLY got our own refriderator that we can put something in since it isn't filled with junk. I am going to use coupons, I found a good website southernsavers.com. Thank you for your help.

Angel - posted on 01/16/2010

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sorry to hear about your situation...I do understand. Due to my own health issues, I am now a stay at home mom to my 4yr old and our household has lost money that otherwise could be helping my husband not feel such a burden...we are also on WIC but we have the food package...though you do have what you say is "alot" of bills...start with what is priority...you, your husband, and child...you have to have food/shelter/etc...make a budget of exactly what your husband brings in, budget for food/shelter first...then work on each bill little by little...some things you may have to let go if you can...we had to cut out our cellphones (even though we wanted them)...if you have cable (cut it back to the minimum or nothing at all) just until things get better...these are just examples of things that can be cut back if not all ready. some charity organizations have food banks where you can get a food basket once/month...apply with a family service program in your area for food stamp/EBT assistance...clip/use coupons to save money when going to the store (this will even help on diapers, food, household items, etc)...Notify your debt collectors and see which ones can work with you on reduced or hardship payments (we have done this and our car payment was reduced $150/mth)...there are creditors that are willing to help because they need the payments because of the banking/financial economical situation that is going on right now...I hope some of these suggestions will help in your situation. I will remember you in prayer and hope everything works out for you and your family. God bless!

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Alicia - posted on 02/02/2013

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You can also have your inlaws write a letter stating that you have to buy your own food and that should help get food stamps.and wic you can get that until your child is 5yrs old

Sandy - posted on 01/31/2013

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My brother is living with our parents in MI. He is not able to work full time, and is struggling financially. He too filled out my parents income. My mom talked to a friend that is a lawyer and used to work for social services. She said that he should only report his income. From my standpoint it seems that even if he was paying a dollar a month for "renting" a room, it would be no different that having an apartment.

Tracy - posted on 01/19/2010

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Speaking about staying at home and working........if you are interested in this a Medical Transcriptionist makes very good money. It's something you can learn at home and work from home. Doctors need them all the time. I know it's using money to get the program, but it's something you can do at your leasure and when your done, you can apply just about with any doctor. Put it on a resume and start posting for the job. Not much, but hope it helps.

Cece - posted on 01/18/2010

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It sounds like you have a lot of worry, and you have a lot going on.... I gather that you are concerned about your financial/family stability and I suspect all of it effects your breast milk. Firstly, if this is your first child... breast feeding can be very discouraging... and telling others about what your breast are or aren't doing can be frustrating... (and doctors aren't always helpful, and some WIC clinics don't care to promote breast feeding... ) So don't beat yourself up... and if you want to breast feed.. there are some tea's at the heath food store that will help... but ultimately, lots of water, and quite time to let your milk, ""let down." But again, don't beat yourself up, it may take more time to get your body, schedule and mind re-adjusted.
You got a lot of great advice... especially where the Abel Angel said how you'd have to let go of some stuff.. what may be a luxury for other families...is not for your's right now, my husband comforted me one day and said, "remember some families have a few years ahead on us..." (I got married when I was 32, w/a 9yr old.) So, when you get your basic list... pray for the peace on the rest and get through the day in joy. When your man comes home, you can encourage him, and he won't feel like everything is out of his hands... then the two of you can stand together and dream together and plow through the next day with hope!

[deleted account]

Thank you for your advice Heather. The foodsaver is a good idea but it's expensive to buy. I will think about it. And thank you Angel for the website.

Heather - posted on 01/17/2010

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I know you're down and out right now. here's a couple suggestions. Join a warehouse club such as Sams club, costco or BJ's. I know BJ's is $35 to join per year, but I do save sooo much $$ there. I also hate to say it, but invest in a food saver. it'll help the bulf foods last so much longer. We buy hamburger for usually 2.49 a lb for the 80/20% and split it up into 1 to 1 & 1/2 lb pkgs, useful for meatloaf, etc. roasts are HUGE, but you can cut them up. fruits & veggies are pretty cheap there too, as well as you can use their store coupons in addition to manufacturers. I usually spend $32-33 for a $39.00 case of diapers every time I go. I get the paper goods in bulk, using coupons, buy the All "Free" laundry detergent so I don't have to shell out for Dreft for the baby. check out local mom's groups to see if anyone needs babysitting. even an hour or 2 to go to the gym for someone else is $$ in your pocket. You have a car, can you advertise with local nursing homes & assisted living facilities to run errands for a small fee?? If you get 3 or 4 people in the same trip (don't take them with you, just their grocery lists) it could add up. Our local grocery store (Price Chopper) offers 10 cents off a gallon of gas for every $50 you spend on your loyalty card. I go to the local gas station (Sunoco) and usually get 50 cents to a dollar off every gallon of gas bought up to 20 gallons. Stop & Shop offers this, but at 10 cents for every 100 spent.

[deleted account]

I can't find any work in my area. I used to work at Kroger (my husband works there) and they are even in a hiring freeze. My parents friend is a flight attendant and she asked me to watch her kids overnight when she has to fly. She hasn't gotten any yet but when she does it's $50 a night and I can bring my son. That will help alot. My husband and I have tried all the housing in our area and we still can't afford it. We really need to work out a budget.

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