Is it wrong not wanting to deal with in laws?

Erika - posted on 06/18/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

This maybe a lengthy post but my "hubby" and I have been together for about 15 years. We have 4 children (all boys). When our first born was about 2 years old, we were in a bad stage in our relationship. We were very young when we got together and had our child. We were both 16. Anyways we ended up splitting up because we were both very young and weren't sure of ourselves. As my family put it we were "babies having babies" After our split things went from bad to worse. He sent me to court and filed for legal/physsical custody of our only son. He claimed I was an unfit mother and was in no condition to care for our son. I was so upset to go that route but I followed through with my own paperwork and hated him for a good 5 months. In the end we both realized it was ridiculous and we belonged together. We went ahead with court just as a precaution and settled for joint custody. It turned out his sister (whici never liked me) filed and wrote out the paperwork for him. I never wanted to see her again. Because I was in a relationship with her brother I kept it amicable but never really wanted to deal with her. She treats me liek dirt and gives "low blows" I avoided her if I could and if I couldn't I would be friendly. Fast foward to about 5 years ago when their mother died. She found Jesus! She still treated me like crap but was more holy about it (HA if that makes sense). It went from how I dressed for church to how I raise my kids, etc. When we have had get togethers, she is always telling us that we should raise the kids different and they eat too much junk food and way too much soda.

Earlier this year we went to her sons birthday dinner with the family and HER friends. When she introduced my "hubby" and I, I got introduced as his "baby momma" I was furious but kept my cool as to not spoil her sons dinner. A month later I posted a cute picture my 6 yr old drew about him praying in church on FB. She made a comment saying that they only pray in church because I don't allow them to do it at home. AGAIN I was furious but I DID NOT respond. My best friend since the first grade responded to her comment and simply wrote about how the drawing was cute and that now my son can pray for a judgemental aunt. The feud between the 2 began. I stayed out only because I found it hilarious and childish. I told my best friend and she thought the same thing. MAybe 2 weeks after that incident I saw this woman and she attacked me with words in front of our children (hers included) about my friend being so rude to her and why didn't I stop it. I laughed in her face and told her it was FB and she should get over it, it wasn't serious. She began to tell me she was very offended by my friends rude comments and how I didn't stick up for her....I took a deep breath and I let her have it! She wanted to talk about rude comments and being offended?
Ok so the point of this post is my "hubby" and I are not legally married and are not married through the church. We have our reasons why we have not done so and I don't think it is anybody's business on why we have not done so. His sister has told us we are going to hell (don't forget she is VERY religious) and our kids are going down that same path. She doesn't let her kids call me aunt because we are not married. She found nothing wrong with her filing of the court paperwork and calling me a baby momma because that's what I was. She said this to us in front of our kids. I pretty much told her she (excuse my language) can eat shit because I don't want to see her again.
Now when we have get togethers if she is there I don't want to go and my "hubby" doesn't make it a big deal but his family does. I have forgiven but this was the straw that broke the camels back. My "hubby" and the kids have gone places without me which I'm totally ok with. But they feel I am overreacting and should make amends with her. I say the hell with it she has done way too many things already. I want nothing to do with her.
I hope this makes sense as my blood still boils thinking about it.