Newbie: duaghter just got married

Kim - posted on 03/31/2010

Give yourself time to grieve. Having a daughter get married is like losing them. They no longer look to you all the time for advice etc. However she still needs you to be there. Make sure that you don't withdraw from her. Text her, email her, call her and the best advice I can give you is to like her husband. Support their relationship and build him up when you talk to your daughter. She will be grateful that you do. She still loves you oh so very much and the relationship will change but you will always be her Mum.

Jennifer - posted on 02/01/2010

I totally understand. It took us about a year and a half to work through her being married. I love my son-in-law. We have known him since he was in 5th grade so it seemed natural to have him in the family but I felt a total shift of her not needing me. I felt cheated, neglected and I was not a happy person because my feelings got hurt. I know that is how it should be but we too were close while she was in college. Talking to a neighbor, it was suggested that I should act as if everything was okayI It really helped because essentially It was a form of forgiveness and was liberating.

Melody - posted on 12/27/2009

It is different. My daughter moved several hours away to go to college, and that was very hard at first. She and I have always been extremely close. We are on her second year of college, and she is home for the holidays. Boy! Did I forget all the mess and noise! lol! It does get easier. I promise. Phones, text messaging, emails -- They all help. It isn't the same. And then the contact skips a day here or there. That is when you realize you are getting used to the situation. My oldest just celebrated his 2nd wedding anniversary. It reminded me of how much I miss him being my little boy. I love my DIL, but I still want the little boy back home sometimes. As for missing him, it isn't as bad. Of course, that is mainly because he lives next door. He is here nearly every day. I can see him anytime I want. That is why it is so different than my daughter being away at school. My best advice is simply to let you know it does get easier. And you can develop a whole new level of friendship with your daughter.