Problems with daughter-in-law and son

Bernadine - posted on 07/14/2011

Hi Debra, I am soo sorry to hear this.. I honestly haven't crossed that road yet. I have two boys, ages 26 and 24. My 26 yr old is getting married this weekend. I truly hope that my future d.i.l does not cheat on my son. I have gone above and beyond to get along with this girl. She's 22 and her and my son have a little girl. I have to give her credit shes a good mom. She just can't seem to communicate well. I believe she is going to just as controlling with my son as her mom is with her hubby, My mom and 3 older sisters have always told me to choose my battles. I think the best you can do is to make sure that you maintain a good relationship- communication with your son. He may need someone to talk to some day Does he have any siblings that he might confide in?? Or a good friend. You see my son has never even had a friend from work or even old school buddies over to his house. He is close to his younger brother and hopefully ( although they used to be even closer, when he first moved in with his gf. if he went shopping to the mall or to get a hair cut with his brother she would make my sons time with his brother miserable and would threaten to cut his clothes or give them awys if he didnt get home soon. He has never spent 1 night away from her as long as they have lived together, and he does not cheat. I think your daughter in law is going to be in for a very rude awakening. Your son may get tired of her behavior sooner or later, you know we all have our limits some can deal with things alot longer than others... I hope since you posted this things have changed for the better... take care

Helaine - posted on 03/27/2011

check your sources; mabye you could offer to help with the babysitting afterschool to help her get a job. It doesnt seem that they were bruised so DCF has no right to take them- did your husband hit your son? Your concept of filthy may be their concept of child friendly and lived in, have some respect- offer some help- not control freak -BS

Helaine - posted on 03/27/2011

check your sources; mabye you could offer to help with the babysitting afterschool to help her get a job. It doesnt seem that they were bruised so DCF has no right to take them- did your husband hit your son? Your concept of filthy may be their concept of child friendly and lived in, have some respect- offer some help- not control freak -BS

April - posted on 04/29/2009

I agree with Barb. Why aren't those children being removed from that home? I don't know what state you are in but call dcf or childrens protective services, the police. Whoever you have to so that these kids are not living in filth and being abused any longer. Forget about your son right now, those kids are a priority. Good Luck and God Bless You Debora

Barb - posted on 04/25/2009

Wow, what a lot to handle. If I were you, if I were able, I would take the kids myself. They don't deserve them. More families than you can imagine have the grandparents rasing the children for that exact reason. But if you can't will they be better off in foster care? You can't do anything to change your son or his wife, they only change if they want to. What is important is to get the girls to safety before they are severely injured, physically and mentally. Their home is not safe. If you can afford it call a lawyer and have him/her advise you. I hope that helps a little. It is a sad sad situation, God Bless

Barb

Barb - posted on 04/25/2009

Wow, what a lot to handle. If I were you, if I were able, I would take the kids myself. They don't deserve them. More families than you can imagine have the grandparents rasing the children for that exact reason. But if you can't will they be better off in foster care? You can't do anything to change your son or his wife, they only change if they want to. What is important is to get the girls to safety before they are severely injured, physically and mentally. Their home is not safe. If you can afford it call a lawyer and have him/her advise you. I hope that helps a little. It is a sad sad situation, God Bless

Barb