3 years, not coping very well...

Marianne - posted on 12/02/2011

Please be patient with yourself. It so so hard to go on after the loss of your baby. I lost my son at 22 weeks over 5 years ago and I still am dealing with his loss. I understand about the control issues. Everytime I feel like I am losing control over my children or my life Jared's loss come's up. Just because you have more children does not mean that you get over the loss of your child. Does one ever really get over that loss? You may have a chemical imbalance or may need to see a counsler. I saw a counsulor a about a year after I lost my son and it helped alot. My counslour was vey good, and helped deal with my loss . She did made me feel better because she also lost her child. Maybe finding a counslour who has shred a similar experianece would make you feel more comfortable. I know that I would have not receovered without the help of my counslour. I have also been on medication for anxiety since I lost my son. I have so much anxieity about my kids that sometimes it is hard for me to cope. I have mostly recovered between the medication counseling, etc. But sometimes I still get so sad that my son is not with me!!

Cindy - posted on 10/26/2011

Grace give yourself a break you are going through a lot. I was very angry when my son died. I was angry at myself, did I miss something. I was angry at the doctor, did he miss something. I was angry at God, what did I do to deserve this. I knew I needed help because I couldn't get through it on my own. I feared counseling but knew I needed to do something. I was referred by Hospice to a group session of parents that had lost children. I went there for a year and my husband and I decided that was not for me because I found myself hurting even more for my friends that I met in the group. I finally contacted a theropist that referred me to someone that specialized in the loss of a child. That was the trick, we worked for two years on putting my heart back together and trying to figure out how I could live my life and care for my two other children. I enrolled in parenting classes because I felt I couldn't do anything right. It is very hard as you know but looking at it 13 years later it was worth it for me, my husband and my other two children. So I am giving you three pieces of advice, give yourself time, be paitent and kind to you, and get help. Actually four pieces of advice, and the fourth is very important, forgive yourself and God. God Bless you are in my prayers.

Racheal - posted on 10/25/2011

give your self a break its hard work beening a mum.. think you need to have some things to look forward to some mummy time!!! good luck!! remember you are doing your best.. and thats all we can do!! its not easy!! I lost he came to early well my body decided it was time at 22wks (which I can never let go off) and its been 5 years on the 18th Feb 2012!! now I have a 3 year old and a 18 month old!! and some days I think am not good enough and that I should be so greatful.. its so hard!!!! Good luck and talk to friends and family..

Jane - posted on 10/24/2011

You are doing the right thing going to the doctor. It sounds as though you definitely have a chemical imbalance. Be aware that the medications for this will take up to 6 weeks to really work, so be patient.

You might also look into a support group. Sometimes just being able to vent to someone else can give you some temporary relief.