Grace - posted on 10/24/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )
It's been almost three years now since Tristan passed. I have a four year old and a 10 month old, both girls. I don't know if I have some serious post partum or what's going on. I am so angry these days. I feel like I have control over nothing. I can't keep a clean home (I'm on mat. leave), I can't seem to cook homemade meals, I am tired all the time and recently I actually kicked something across the room and hit a wall with my hand. That is not like me, not at all. The things I have said to my kids are so wrong, I get so mad at them that I'm like, "is it really so hard to put your shoes on!?! I have asked you four times!?!" "Samantha (10month old) can you not just sit still for your diaper change?" "Shut the hell up?!?" What is wrong with me?!? I used to be this quiet, reserved Mom and I used to like parenting and now, now I can't do anything right. I need help but I don't want counciling with someone I don't know. I want to escape my mind, everything is tangled. I am not the Mom I want to be. I don't want to bother with the housework or cooking or anything anymore. I want to set a good example for the kids but how can I with all this frustration? I am going to see my family doctor soon. I hope it's a simple chemical imbalance or something that can be fixed. I don't want to feel like this anymore.