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Motherhood after the death of a child: pregnancy, infant

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6 yrs since my baby passed

April - posted on 01/11/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

I'm new to this community. My name is April and almost 6 yrs ago (Jan 21, 2004) my 23 hour old infant son passed away. I had a complicated pregnancy and the dr's said everything will be ok and most likely my son will need surgery on his throat. Turned out it wasn't his throat, it was his brain. He was born brain dead and had no chance of survival. I gave birth at 37 wks, his name was Shawn Alexander Martinez, he weighed 5 lbs and 2 ozs. My other son (Gabe is almost 3 yrs old) started pre-school this year and I feel sadder this year than the past couple of yrs. I was also blessed with a baby girl (Natalia, 18 months). It's hard to recover from a loss so i guess I'm looking for a support group that fully understands what I'm going through.

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Liz - posted on 01/14/2010

its goin 2 b 5 yrs 4 me since my son died he was born with really bad case of jaudiceand hosp sent him ome and he was 4 weeks early and he piked up an infection and his lungs werent mature eoungh and they shut dwn i was blessed with 3 mre daughters

April - posted on 01/12/2010

Stephanie, Thank you for ur advice. I have my good yrs and my bad yrs. this one seems to be a bad year. I keep thinking that my son should be in kindergarten and getting ready for 1st grade. I feel that my family has had enough of my mourning and probably won't support a memorial but my husband would be supportive. He goes with me every year to celebrate his b-day (Jan 20) and put a little balloon that says happy birthday by his grave stone. I'm just feeling really sad right now and I'm having a hard time moving past this feeling. I know that i will eventually, but right now, I feel sad.

Stephanie - posted on 01/11/2010

I am so sorry for your loss I hope you find this group helpful I have. I lost my daughter a little over two years ago from complications. It seems like every one goes through phases where the pain worsens for awhile but I am sure that it will pass try to stay focused on the positives in your life and maybe pick up a new hobby to occupy you or hold a memorial for your son I did that for my daughter this year it really helped to just be with family and take a few to remember her and be sad together I have felt a lot better since. Feel free to message me if you need to talk