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Motherhood after the death of a child: pregnancy, infant

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a light at the end of a dark tunnel

Lisa - posted on 09/05/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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my little maeve was born 4/4/07 she lived for just 1 hour. at my 6mth scan doc asked me did i ever hear of spina bifida of course my heart sank for my little girl. after test upon test it was reveiled to us she had a very rare type sorry but i cant spell it!! basically where normal spina bifida occurs on the spine my little girl had it on the base of her neck so her brain never fully developed. she was born by c section @ 30 weeks to give her every chance yet poor angel was so weak nothing could be done. for a long time after i blamed myself which now i know is a very normal reaction. i told myself i had to be strong for my husband & 5 yr old son at the time i think it felt right for me. each yr gets a little easier & on the7/4/09 almost 2 yrs to the day i had another perfectly healthy baby boy so thinks have brightened up for me tg!! still i shall always have her in my heart & as i tell those who ask how i dealt with i say i have my very own personal beautiful angel that i'm very grateful for xxxxxxxx

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2 Comments

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Kelly - posted on 09/06/2010

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Hello Lisa, Thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry for your loss, and happy that you have 2 healthy children. I recently had a horrible experience, I lost my baby boy at 21 weeks gestation born still sleeping like an angel. I had a very high risk pregnancy a huge blood clot ending in placenta ab-ruction. I call that day the worst day of my life. I will post my story soon. Take care and thank you for contacting me and welcoming me to this group. Kelly Mother to Malcolm Angel RIP 6-18-10

Jennifer - posted on 09/05/2010

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I'm so sorry to hear about your angel! I know she is watching down on you, taking care of you from a far!
I can't say that I know exactly how you feel, but I do have an inkling. my first child Brooke Emily was born 4/4/05 with a bad heart (trunkcus arterious, interrupted arotic arch, and vsd) she also passed very shortly after birth, at 10 days old (4/14/05). Since then I've had 2 very healthy, happy and vibrate little girls who ive named Bethany, and Emily. I really believe that after such a tradgidy God makes up for it in the best way he can for us, Your little boy is such a miricle sent down just for you, Good luck in all you do, and thank you for sharing your story. I know our girls are up there having the best play date of their lives. ♥ Much love to you and your family!

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