After loseing baby how long did it take to try again?

Alison - posted on 06/02/2011 ( 43 moms have responded )

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We lost our daughter April 26 2011 due to premature labor she was born 4 months early and only lived for 6 hours,9mins we miss her,love her dearly and will never try and replace her but once i heal we are plannin on trying again which if i try in aug after its safe to and get pregnant in aug we will have our 2nd lil one in april same month of hopes death which idk if i wanna do that i kinda wanna have april be her month but my question is after loseing your child how long did it take u before u had the will power to try again?

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Leah - posted on 09/15/2014

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I gave birth to my beautiful twins Alfie and Amelia 8
Weeks ago I was 22 wks and 3 days pregnant they lived for 1hr and 55 mins. I chose to have a postmorterm as I have 3 healthy children and.we also lost a pregnancy in January this year that's 3 babies in a year losing my twins is the worst pain iv ever felt they were so perfect and my little boy Alfie made a little cry as he was put on my.chest. I'm desperate to try again but don't know how long is.safe I can't go threw this again it's broke my heart x

Stephanie - posted on 04/08/2014

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I am wondering myself about this topic. 3 weeks ago 3/21/14 my husband and I lost our baby at 40 weeks the day after my due date. I didn't feel normal movement the day after an appointment and went in to check and found there was no heartbeat. We are still waiting for test results to see if there are any reasons that they can find that this might have happened .they said that I was having a textbook pregnancy. We didn't know before hand what we were having we wanted to be surprised . It was a 10 lb 12th baby boy. My husband and I are on the fence about trying again and how soon we should try if we do. Did anyone else have reservations about trying again. I am afraid it will happen again and scared that I won't be able to handle this situation again. But part of me is determined that I will have a baby and refuse to let this stop me. Thoughts?

Constance - posted on 06/02/2011

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Alison, Being pregnant for me was one of the hardest things for me. As my doctors all ten of them say I am a very strange and confusing case. With my first my pregnancy it went pretty smooth and preterm labor started at 28 weeks kept her in until 39wks. She was beautiful and healthy. Then we had five miscarriages. I had so many test done but we couldn't figure it out. On the sixth try my doctor said I want to try shots of progestron and hell it work. Got 3 shots shots a week for 20 wks and was on bed rest till that time. When we got to that point I had a blast started going over to friends went to see my family then at 28 wks bam preterm labor. Back on bedrest and in a ton of pain. I was induced at 37 wks and 4 hours later delivered a very big boy 8 lbs 3oz I don't even want to know how big he would have actually been if he baked any longer. He sucked every nutrient out out of me. It took me almost 18monthes to recover. 3 and 4 same ritual bedrest and shots for the first 20 wks then 8 wks of fun and 28 wks bedrest. I was lucky to have ben able to carry fullterm with all four and very grateful. After losing these last 2 I told my husband he had to have a vasectomy. I already have my tubes done and an IUD. I swear my husband only has to looked at me and I am knocked up.

You do seem like you are ready to try again. Just remember the likely hood of the same thing happening probally won't. I ama little strange like that.

You can call me nuts. I consider it a compliment. I know have 7 kids that live with me and normally about 20 more here everday and all weekend. I cook for a football team and they eat like one too. Just to let you know 3 girls 19, 15, and 7 and 4 boys almost 16, almost 14, 10, and 7. I know I am crazy but I really wouldn't have it any other way.

Mothertobe - posted on 09/10/2013

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I lost My Little Girl 09/06/2013 at 20 weeks premature Labor she lived for 3hours I miss her so much this is my second lost in November at 10 weeks there was no heart beat. Me and my husband will try agin 2months from now I am now open to talk about this and Im glad I can see that Im not alone

Lana - posted on 08/22/2013

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Hi Angel mommies!
just wanted to see how all you ladies are doing in your pregnancy! wishing you all the best! please share with us how you are coping and what gets you through the day!

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Britney - posted on 06/17/2014

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Hi Alison, you might try getting pregnant as soon as when you are ready. Pregnancy will surely depend on your body and your recent condition, and women with insufficiency have to wait 2 to 3 months to slowly heal after suffering from miscarriage. If I may suggest, please try out the methods on "The Getting Pregnant Plan" book from this link http://aboutgettingpregnant.com . The book also contains information on how to avoid miscarriage repetition, and how to conceive a baby after miscarriage/failure, or ectopic pregnancy. You won't have to worry about. Good luck

Wanda - posted on 06/16/2014

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Yes I've been through a lot myself and don't worry about anything you'll be fine sweetie sometimes bad things happen for a reason but far between so don't be afraid just go for it you and your next baby will be just fine pray God hears all and he will bless you believe in him you'll see you'll be okay and blessed

Wanda - posted on 06/16/2014

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The joy and happiness of seeing my baby boy for the first time and getting to hold him for the first time too in just a couple of weeks I've been through so much this pregnancy I'm so anxious it's almost time for him to come home to be with mommy daddy 2 brothers and 5 sisters who are so excited for him to finally be here

Wanda - posted on 06/16/2014

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Yes its way too soon you con develop vascular blood deseizes and it can result in death of your own life as well as your baby's if you get pregnant too soon wait at least 6 more months to a year your body needs healing time I've been going through this process for 8 and a half months now fighting for my life and the baby's I've almost lost both of my legs 2 times my baby and my life I lost a baby at 3 days before I was 4 months pregnant got pregnant 2 months after and had never been sick a day in my life til it happened to me and I am on my 24 pregnancy my 8th full term child I the doctor doesn't know if the blood deseizes have harmed the baby or no til he is born in 2 weeks so pizza be careful what you do

Wanda - posted on 06/16/2014

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I believe that you will be fine sweetie sometimes the Lord works in mysterious ways but what is meant to be will be don't give up your instincts will let you know so follow them you'll be fine and so will your next baby good luck

Wanda - posted on 06/16/2014

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I lost my 8th child in July of 2013 I got pregnant 2 and half months later 2 months after my body flared up blood deseizes lupus and an unidentified I've been fighting for my life and baby's for 8 and a half months and don't know if it has harmed my baby I almost lost both of my legs and my baby and my life docs think it's because I got pregnant 2 soon after I lost my baby in July and recommended me to wait for at least one year for the body to heal but everyone is different I've never been sick a day in my life til this happened to me so just be cautious your body will likely let you know but be smart and don't try to rush it it can and sometimes will kill you

Esther - posted on 10/10/2013

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Hi, everyone, we lost our son at 22 weeks due to inevitable miscarriage, I took the contraceptive injection so that I don't fall pregnant soon. two and a half years later I fall pregnant in April and again on 16/09/2013 at 22 weeks I start having labor pains and I put to birth, baby only survived few hours and died. am so heart sore but life goes on. we are planning on getting pregnant again immediately and its only been 4 weeks since we lost our second son is it safe to get pregnant again that soon. thanks look forward to your reply.

Kandy - posted on 08/18/2013

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I just lost my twin girls about 2 weeks ago due to pretum labor at 21 weeks. And yes I want to try again as soon as possible but I'm afraid and it still hurts.my husband and I has 2 year old now but she is the one that has been help us get though this.i hope maybe in a year or two we could try again.right now my husband is 23 yrs oldand I'm 24 yrs old

Jo - posted on 07/18/2013

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hey all beautiful mummas...
we lost our daughter on the 8th july, not long ago...
she was born at 28 weeks, and lived for 6 weeks in NICU...
she was such a fighter, but after around 5 weeks up there they found out she had turners syndrome.. to my surprise from reading the internet seems not to many survive, are mostly born stillborn, or miscarry..
she was such a beautiful girl, she was my first and im only years old, but was ready to be a mumma, have always wanted to...
i want to try again soon, so i can hold beauty in my arms... share all this huge amount of love i have in my heart with another little soul, as my little girl is now untouchable..she wil forever be in my heart, my mind, my footsteps, and my dreams. she is in a much better place, a much less painful place..
after only 1 week and 1/2 from pregnancy bleed finishing, my period has returned..
dont think we will try as such, but am so open to getting pregnant as soon as possible...
so much beauty was had in that short 6 weeks with our girl, im so excited to find out what years can bring..
bless to all mummas in the world..
we will forever have our little angels with us!!

Melissa - posted on 07/07/2013

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I lost my son after preterm labor november 2012, 10 weeks later I was pregnant with my daughter. But in june 2013 I was in preterm labor again, and our daughter died to :( Now we wan't to wait a couple months because there is a big change I will have a preterm labor again, and we will lose another baby.. But I can't give up.

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My baby boy Noah was born by emergency c-section at 27+3 after me experiencing reduced fetal movement. As it turned out Noah had lost almost all of his blood and it had transferred into my bloodstream. This meant he was born with a haemoglobin of only 1.9 (normal ref range is 14+) After several blood transfusions and oxygen to help him breathe, he seemed to be on the mend. Unfortunatly his tiny little body was too tired and he gave in and went to sleep, 18hrs after he was born. Noah was our first born and we are absolutely devestated. It has only been 8 weeks but we are already thinking of trying again, not to forget about Noah but because we were so ready after an otherwise healthy pregnancy, and now we're parents with empty arms. We had an appointment with the consultants who looked after us and Noah on wednesday and they gave us the go ahead to try again and explained that we would be thoroughly looked after in another pregnancy. We will have an appointment with a consultant every week, and I can have a scan everytime. I can also have movement monitoring everyday if I feel I need to have them. This makes me feel better as I know that every step of another pregnancy will be scary as hell and we will be so paranoid. There will be so many things that will bring back the pain that we're experiencing right now. Anyway i'm waffling now and I just wanted to ask if there was anyone who has been in this situation and have gone on to have other children, and if so how long did you feel you had to wait. Also the consultant said it was no problem to try again so soon after a c-section, it may just mean that I need another section, as going into labour naturally may put pressure on the scar and scar tissue.

Heather - posted on 02/26/2013

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My Elijah was born Aug 17, 2012 @ 38 weeks. As soon as we got the go-ahead from the doctor, (@ 6months) we started trying and praise God, I am now almost 7 weeks pregnant.

Staci - posted on 01/21/2013

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My first son was stillborn Nov 13, 2001. I got pregnant for my second son around the middle of April 2002 and he was born (8 weeks early) Dec 27, 2002. After losing Connor, I was desperate to have another baby. Not to replace Connor, because no one could ever do that, but a baby to fill my empty arms and the hole in my heart. It was scary being pregnant again especially when I began having complications at 7 months along (I was at 7 months when Connor was stillborn). Even now, 11 years after losing Connor, I am not "healed" from the pain of his loss, but having Holden has helped me to keep moving forward.

Take one day at a time and find a strong support network you can lean on.

Kashish P - posted on 01/16/2013

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hi i m soni my baby is 9 year & i can try a next baby.. my baby born is o4-04-2003

pls u can tell me how can i try for next baby

pls give me reply

User - posted on 10/26/2011

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I know this is an old post, but I'm curious . . . did you get pregnant? We lost our baby about 2 months ago. We want to try again, but I"m still waiting for my first period. I almost feel like getting pregnant again will give me something positive to look forward to. Best of luck to you and your family!

Jennifer - posted on 07/13/2011

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We just lost our first and only baby 2 days ago due to preterm labor...He lived for 3 hours.... We keep talking about trying again as soon as the OB says I can (hopefully after my 2 week checkup). I know that sounds soon. We are going to focus on healing emotionally first, whatever that means...because I don't know if I will ever be able to say I'm really "healed". I don't know. It's too soon to even try to process what being "healed" truly means. But anyway, we are going to try again as soon as we feel up to it, and it will not be after 1 or 2 years. We're already 28.

Alison - posted on 07/04/2011

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yea,all im gonna do is just worry about school a job then gettin a place and see how our relationship goes and hopefully one day ill get to be a mommy again

Jessyca - posted on 07/03/2011

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well i can personally tell you it will be VERY hard on you if you have your other baby in april like hopes. I lost my son april 3rd 09 stillborn at 23wks,i was grieving terribly and wanted nothing more than my sweet cole back and decided to ttc when my dr said we could. end up pregnant again 11 wks after coles birth and had my other son(Noah) april 2nd of 2010! Now april is such a hard month for me, I feel Sad because i still miss Cole but I also have to try and be cheerful for its my ohers sons birthday on the 2nd. Its very emotional.

Alison - posted on 06/29/2011

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thanx everyone,idk if ill get the chance to try again the bf is now sayin he doesnt wanna try anymore and the main big reason is b/c hes scared i just wish he wouldnt say never and just say idk when cuz we are only 20 so we have time i just hope over time he will change his mind cuz of course i dont mind waitin just hope no later than 30 so i guess all i can do is wait and see and hope i get the chance as a women to be able to try again

Kendra - posted on 06/29/2011

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Hello,
I lost my daughter April,24,2008 and it took me 3 years to even want to try again I was scared to even want to and then scared the whole time I did end up with a baby again I really think its up to you its hard to get over the loss of a child and I never really think you do but you just need to stay strong and do not give up well that's what everyone told me.

Angie - posted on 06/28/2011

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I am so sorry you lost your daughter. That had to be a horrible thing. Once your heart heals completely you will be ready to have your second child. I will pray for a healthy full term baby. I am going on eight weeks in the NICU and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I am so sorry for the lose of your daughter. Not that this will help but I named my 2 lb daughter Allison and she tough, I think it's the name of strong women. Be strong and when your ready you will be blessed with your miracle.

Melanie - posted on 06/15/2011

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Hey Alison!
My husband and I lost our daughter during labour, full-term, April 11, 2009 and 4 months later (August) I was pregnant with my son who was born April 4, 2010, 7 days from a year to the day we lost our daughter. It was a nervous, emotional & somewhat stressful pregnancy but I was considered High Risk and was given extra care to help insure that everything was ok. I also joined a group with mothers who have also dealt with a lost of a child, whether it was newborn death, Stilllborn, Miscarriage, & Neonatal Death. It was great to interact with others who have been through a similar situation. Do what makes you & your husband happy. Don't worry what others think or say. If you feel ready, go for it. You are not replacing your daughter, she will forever be in your heart and family. Remember you have the most beautiful guardian angel watching over you. Its been over 2 years since I lost Makayla and somedays I sit and cry as if it was just yesterday. Your allowed to do that, she was apart of you. Take care and I hope this helps ease your mind. Good Luck with the next pregnancy. Just take it one day at a time! God Bless!

Melanie

Fern - posted on 06/08/2011

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Constance no offense to you, but you CANNOT contract genital warts/hpv infection from hopping in the wrong bed! This infection is transmitted by skin to skin contact. Viruses cannot live without a host (person or animal) to live off of. I imagine you were told this to cover up how she really got them! If she told you the story about hopping in the wrong bed, she was either lying or misinformed about how you get hpv infections.

Lizbeth - posted on 06/08/2011

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I had my son at 5 1/2 month due to severe preeclampsia he was only with us 1 month and two days...im feeling the same thing u are..idk if i should try...help....

Fern - posted on 06/07/2011

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Please don't base your decision on what's right for someone else, trust your instincts and your heart! There is no right or wrong in grief. You have to figure out what will help you get through it. Be patient with yourself. Some days will be easy and you will think you are good and other days you will feel like you are loosing your mind. Just remember you will survive this and you will learn a lot about yourself and the strength you have to go on. I lost 4 babies. If you don't feel ready in August, give yourself some time or the anxiety in your subsequent pregnancy will be hard to handle. I also suggest finding a good support group whether you choose one online or one in person doesn't matter. What matters is finding support to help you get through the grief and your next pregnancy. SPALS (subsequent pregnancy after loss support) is an excellent support group and here is their website: http://www.spals.com/. Another support group is the MISS Foundation. Here is their website: http://www.missfoundation.org/ They have online message boards. And another good group is Share. They also have message boards. Here is their website: http://www.nationalshare.org/

Lisa - posted on 06/07/2011

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Thank you Melissa .. I'm happy you got your girls after waiting so long. I know its gonna take time ... but no this pain never goes away.. its all I think about!

Lisa - posted on 06/07/2011

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I had my follow up today ... the meds i was taking before I found out I was pregnant may be the reason why I lost her. I didnt stop taking them in time and thats the very reason she is not here with me now. It doesn't matter what my friends or family say.. I know it's my fault my child did not make it into this world. I have decided not to try agian, I can't go through this a second time! I won't make it if I do. I'm just thankful to have my 8 yr old son and he is enough for me to handle.

Shauneen - posted on 06/07/2011

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So sorry for your loss! i lost my daughter in dec 2007. its terrible for any mother. Well i had the willpower almost immediately but first wanted to lose my weight. That took about 3 month (i really tried HARD!) even though doc gave the go ahead at 6 weeks. it took 7 months to get pregnant. My best advise to you is not to feel pressured. You have to be relaxed about it. I fell pregnant when i least expected to. You will get pregnant when your body is ready. My daughter is 2 yrs 3 months now and i never ever felt like i replaced the first one with her.I love them both and i tell my daughter about her sister. She loves looking at her photo album. We are considering no 3 now. the pain is real. acknowledge it and give yourself whatever you need work through it. it never goes away but it does get easier.

Melissa - posted on 06/06/2011

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I am sorry for your loss. I went through the same thing 10 years ago with my daughter Emily. Shewas born at 31 weeks premature and passed away 5 days later. She was born with a right-sided congenital diaphragmatic hernia. It took us two years before we got pregnant with our second child. We tried to get pregnant soon after losin our daughter. We had a hard time getting pregnant, we finally decided to stop trying. As soon as we stopped trying it happened, we got pregnant again. I have been blessed with three beautiful children since the loss oft daughter. The pain never goes away but over time it does get easier. My daughter was born On 27 Apr 2001, my fourth child was born on 13 April 2007. My husband's birthday falls in between my girls birthday's, April is a tough month for me. Even though my other children were born after I lost my daughter Emily, she is a bi part of their lives. I keep pictures of her in the house and they all know that they had a big sister. I wish you luck, just take it one day at a time.

Constance - posted on 06/02/2011

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You can also try Complete Women's Care. Dr. DiBona delivered my first and Dr. Wright delivered my second. The whole practice is wonderful. They deliver at Beach General but they really do care about you and the baby. I highly reccomend them even at 15 they treated me like a pregnant woman. A family friend had cancer several years agao and her daughte went alittle crazy. Long story short hopped in the wrong bed and transmitted genital warts. She went to a different practice they to her in to surgery to remove them. Well they did a hack job and she ended up developing a major infection. She moved over to complete Woman's Care. They took her right in for surgery actually remove all of the warts completely and saved he fetility.

Also recommendation for a Pediatrician John DeTriquet. I love love love him. I don't want to move away because I fold him up and take him with me. He is a doctor that when something goes on it doesn't matter if you don't have your copayment he still is going to see your little one. Never tell you that you aredoing something wrong he will give other options for you to try.
We aee actually pretty close to each other. Just don't passed it around. I like being low profile.

Alison - posted on 06/02/2011

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i live in virginia,so id be goin to evms eastern virginia medical school,which is right across from where i gave birth,which was norfolk general,so im plannin on goin to evms i would love if i could get the doc that deliverd hope to be my ob but i dont believe shes a high risk ob

Constance - posted on 06/02/2011

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That defidently sounds like that is what happened. The infectin probally played a major part as well. I was always high risk as well. The only suggestion I can give you is start looking now for the specialist that you choose to handle the pregnancy. It is always better to really know your OB and the nurses. You will have more concernsand you will need the comfort of knowing they won't treat you like yu are overreacting. Where are you located? I have moved a lot and have family all over the states maybe I can make recomendatin to help out.

Alison - posted on 06/02/2011

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aww im srry u had so much trouble glad u got to have healthy babies tho,i think my pregnancy would of went fine if my ob didnt mess with the polyp i had on my cervix,most docs dont mess with it unless it bothers u and i didnt even know it was there and after he removed it when i was 10 weeks pregnant i had problems ever since then,i think either the removeal of the polyp weakend my cervix or let an infection in which made my body try and get rid of the pregnancy,cuz when i went in for my 2 week d&c check up they said the cord and everything was fully infected which prob could even of been from bein 6cm dialated in the hospital for a week,they wanna say i have an incompetent cervix which i feel is bullshit,but ill be high risk next time,im changein obs and i just hope my next pregnancy works out when that time happens

Alison - posted on 06/02/2011

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awww sorry guys,yea on 4/20 i turned 20 weeks and was in the hospital since the 19th, for another 6 days it really sucked i tried to save her but there was nothin else i could do,i dont wanna feel like im replacein her cuz im not tryin to do that and she will always be my first but i really would like to try for another and idk if its cuz i want to fill the void of losein her or not i just wish i could turn back the hands of time and fix everything so she would still be growin inside the womb

Constance - posted on 06/02/2011

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Alison, I have been blessed to have four beautiful childen. I also have had 7 loses. Five were in the first trimester and one at 16wks and one at 36weeks. Would have been my fifth. I have decided not to try to have any more now but with all my other times I just tried when I felt I was ready.
You will find the right time to try again. Don't rush and it won't be easy but you have to remain positive so that you have healthy pregnacy and baby.

You will know when it is right. Best wishes and good luck.

Lisa - posted on 06/02/2011

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On 4/20 of this year.. I had a miscarriage and I know that isnt the same as carrying it as far as you did, but it was still a baby. We are trying to have another one now, but it isnt working like i would like it too. I been told it just takes time to heal, your body and mind. I hope and pray you guys have better luck than me. God bless you and your family.

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