Ashley - posted on 09/02/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )
Last year around this time i went to the doctors at around 21 weeks pregnant to find out the sex of my baby. Me and my bf were so excited waiting for the doctor and squirming around in the waiting room.... When the doctor was finally doing the ultrasound he said something didnt look right and referred me to a specialist right away.. He told me i couldnt wait. We went and waited for hours since we didnt have an appointment time and were scarred out of our minds... The doctor there had a bad accent so everything he was saying didnt make any sense and he was using big words... the last thing he said to me was that my baby wasnt healthy and wasnt going to live. I cried on the way out, Frustrated at not knowing what was going on. The next day i was called back to do an amniotic testing. I was sent home and said i would be called back in a week.... at 22 weeks a genetics counsler told me my babys heart wasnt forming correctly, the brain had to much fluid in it, and he had Trisomy 13. they told me i had a choice to keep him and he wouldnt live after birth or to terminate the baby. that same day i found out i was having a boy... (what we wanted) this was the worst decision i have ever had to make in my life. after talking to my family, my bf, and his family we decided it was best if we went on with the termination for the better sake of our son. i hoped and prayed that when i went to my next doctors appointment at 23 wks that they would say everything was okay, but it didnt happen. at 24 wks we got the procedure started. on october 13th, 1:13 pm i had him naturally, the nurses didnt let me see him. Its going to be a whole year next month and i still feel the exact same way i did those weeks i had to go through. my heart is not heeled and i dont think will ever be... i always thought why me? what did i do. and today i found this website in which many women have the same story.. now, i dont feel alone and like i was singled out. it kind of makes me feel better. and this helped alot.
R.I.P to my baby bot, Tristan Herrera, 10.13.11