bad day

Marinda - posted on 03/30/2009

bad days, boy do we indeed have many of them, and its still so new to you, don`t be to hard on yourself, you need time to adjust, time to come to terms with what`s happened. I`m so sorry for you, knowing all to well, the emotions that you`re going through, I once sayed to a friend of mine it`s like being on a rollercaoster ride, never knowing if its a "up" (meaning for the moment you can cope with your loss)or a"down" day. I still cry every week for the loss of our daughter, and I know that it will remain that way for the rest of my life. love and hugs to you

Marie - posted on 03/29/2009

I am sorry to hear about your daughter. But I can tell you from experience that you will have great days, weeks months along with the bad. I lost my 4th son when he was 3 years old. He was special needs, but his death was actually premature. He died in 2998, it will be 11 years this April 19th, and happens to fall on the exact same day of the week as well as one week after Easter. I do have to tell you that my three older boys, his brothers, are what have carried me through all these years as well as the early years of grieving. We will continue to be mad when we thing of our angels, since they are no longer with us. I look at it now as he his my guardian angel, and no longer in any pain or discomfort, no tubes keeping him from doing what he wants. You may be on autopilot, but you will get on, it is hard I won't tell you it's not. Find somethign special for you and your son to do, he is young now, but in the years to come he will remember and that will help you continue on.

Linda - posted on 03/29/2009

Sweetie you will have many bad days before you feel like you have good ones but please please hold on because the good days are coming. When my daughter died I felt I needed to be with her because she was cold and scared but I was pregnant with my youngest daughter and I wouldn't do that to her so I waited. Since my daughter died at home the state investigated and placed my children with my mother during this period...I didn't even get to bring my baby home from the hospital she had to go to my mothers. But after she was born I thought ok now I can go say goodbye to my son and go to Nita and take care of her she needs me and he cried and screamed so hard for us as we left that I couldn't leave him I thought til he got more settled in with my mother since that is where he would be and you know as the days slowly went by with no kids at home I didn't get up til one day my sister came and dragged me out of bed and took me to her work and put me to work. They saved my life because if those 3 things had not happened I would not be here I would be gone I know this in my heart but I also know that God was not done with me and I have done many things over the last 23 years that I am soooo glad I was here to do and that includes sit here and tell you that you shouldn't feel guilty about not wanting to go out there cause she isn't there she is in your heart and in your memories. Sit in a quiet room close your eyes think of her and you will find that there she is for you and sit and have yourself a good cry and you will also find it helps. I hope this wasn't too long winded and it helped some please go with my prayers for your peace.

Shu - posted on 03/29/2009

Hi

I am so sorry for your loss, I lost my 10 weeks old son over 5 years ago and I felt exactly like you do now. I felt like I had to be there at his grave all the time and felt bad when I wasn't, but this feeling will lessen over time. I had a miscarriage a couple months after he died and then got pregnant with my second son, and like you with your son he was gave me a reason to keep going. It won't go away, but it becomes easier to deal with. I now go to his grave only on anniversaries, birthday, christmas etc.

Leanne - posted on 03/28/2009

Im sorry to hear bout your loss but i do understand as a year ago i lost my daughter Angel at 26weeks pregnent and when it first happend i was at her side every sunday then i was told 4weeks ago they were going to lay grass down and i felt all that pain and anger i had turnd off come flooding back to me. Like yourself if it wasnt 4 my 28mnth old daughter i would off given up but i cant and to help me i have a box that my step dad made and i but all the cards i was given a teddy i was given and her photos in and every bday xmas easter i write a letter and a card and but them in her box xx