Libby - posted on 03/06/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )
Ok, so here's the thing I can't figure out and I feel really bad about it. After I lost our only daughter I decided I wanted to stay home with my boys instead of working. But still needed a little bit of extra money so I decided to babysit. I watch 3 kids during the week and occasionally I'll babysit for a couple kids on Saturday nights. Anyway, the little girl I watch is going to be 4 years old this month. I watch her the most. Usually 4-5 days a week. And lately I have found myself becoming annoyed with her behavior.
For example, the other day she cried 3 times. First thing in the morning after her dad dropped her off she cried for her mom (which she has never done before). Then later that day she cried because she said she didn't like spaghettios (which she had eaten before and did end up eating that day). Then later that day she didn't want my son to play with something so she tried to take it away and I told her he was playing with it (I did not yell at her) and she ran upstairs crying. Yesterday she cried because she wanted to sit in a certain booster seat in the car. I'm also getting annoyed at her telling me she doesn't like everything. Today she didn't like the chocolate cookies I gave her for snack (before she even tried them) so I gave her a banana, and then she ate the cookies. So I told her from now on I wasn't going to change the food that I give her. She can choose not to eat it, but since I am providing the food for the kids I watch I am not going to make everybody something different, nor am I going to make them more than one meal.
I know she's just a little kid, and kids do that kinda stuff. I just find myself enjoying my babysitting more when I have the little boy over that I watch who is 16 months old. I have a few ideas about this. Perhaps because I spend the most time with her maybe that's why she gets on my nerves more. Or maybe I just enjoy the baby more because I'm missing my baby. Maybe I am irritated because I am pregnant, and things just seem mulitiplied then. Or my last theory is, maybe since I lost my only daughter maybe it is hard for me to care for a little girl.
I don't know, just wanted some thoughts. I'm sure I'll get over it. I'm sure it's just a phase I'm in. I was just feeling guilty for feeling this way about it. I don't treat her any differently but I just feel like I complain the most about her to my mom or my husband. I don't want to be a complainer. Ya know?