Taliah - posted on 05/27/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )
Words can't express how hard it is to watch your child die slowly from cancer. I never thought anything like this could ever happen to us but I was terribly wrong. I was always so careful with her never let her out of my sight, never left her with anyone but immediate family. I was over protective and turned out that her killer wasn't a sick pedophile or an accident her killer was in her own body! We found out in spring of 2008 after we took her to the doctor for headaches she was having. Turns out it was a tumor the size of a golf ball above her eye in her brain. My heart stops and I fell like the floor falls from underneath me. She goes for surgery a week later, 10 hours of surgery and I fell like my stomach is in my throat the entire time I can't breathe. Next Chemo...it seems we beat it then it comes back with vengeance and this time surgery can't help us. A year of chemo and radiation ravage her little body and I have no more tears to cry. She doesn't see them though; I smile for her knowing these could be our last moments. Praying harder then I have ever prayed in my life I become compulsive about it. I asked God to take my life for hers. I was completely helpless. Then she slipped into a coma and never woke up. On February 28th of this year at 4 pm she was taken off life support. I washed her frail body to prepare her for burial and said goodbye to her for the last time. All that's left of me is a shell. Half the time I'm mad as hell and the other half I'm desperately heartbroken. I still can't believe it and I don't think I ever will. I was suppose to see her grow up to be a beautiful young woman, have a family, have a career. Do great things for this world. So why did the lord take her?? What good has it done for anyone not to have her here? We are struggling to stay sane and functional for the rest of our families. There should be a cure for this so no one has to die like that!! She handled it with such grace and always had a positive outlook. She took her treatments without complaint. Handling better then any kid on her floor when most of the time she was doing the worst. I guess I needed to write to say to everyone here how much I love her and want her back with me. She was my first born and I can say she was loved as much as any child can be loved and still is. The only hope I have now is when I die to be with her again. Until then I will continue to live half the person I used to be. I can't be hurt anymore than I already have so I have no fear anymore. The worst has already happened to us.