Can you get past the fear?

Loura - posted on 04/01/2010

Hey there, I have not lost a pregnancy, but I lost my baby girl in 2003 the day after she was born to heart defects. I am so sorry for your losses. For me, I have dealt with and sometimes still battle fear. Elizabeth was our first, and we have since had two other perfectly healthy children, but fear of losing either of them or both sometimes overwhelms me, even though I know it is illogical and pointless to worry (it may not happen, but even if it does, what could I do about it?). Not to sound trite or overly simplistic, but I usually take some deep breaths and pray to God (sometimes out loud) about what I'm feeling and why. That mostly helps to either relieve it completely or at least somewhat. Trying to occupy yourself either mentally or physically may also help get your mind on something else.

Erica - posted on 03/30/2010

I had a miscarriage, then had a little girl who died at two days old due to a heart defect. When I got pregnant again after those two pregnancies, I was very scared and I had to come to peace with the fact that there is absolutely nothing I can do to change the outcome. Life and death are in God's hands and not mine. I had a doppler I used to listen to the heart beats but would freak out if I could not hear it for some reason and caused myself more stress! Even when my son was finally born, his umbilical cord was around his neck (thankfully his hand was on his cheek and it kept it from hurting him) and I felt like everything was terrifying! I think that those of us who have experienced the loss of a child no longer have the bliss of worry-free pregnancies. What is important to remember is that even with all the losses out there, MOST pregnancies are uncomplicated. It is still more common to have a normal pregnancy than to experience loss. Keep your faith and know that you are not alone!

Dana - posted on 03/29/2010

My Daughter Chloe was still born at 34 weeks 5years ago due to my placenta abrupting I was rushed in to have an emergancy c-section, I lost 4litres of blood and almost had to have a historectomy and almost lost my life. I have since had 2 gorgeous girls 3year old Isabel and 1years old Jasmine, I was extremely scared thoughout both pregnancies and prob drove my doctors mad but if you have any concerns voice them, you know your body better than anyone, dont worry if you think your being a pain thats why they are there. I was scared right up until both my girls were born (both by c-section) and even after I got to hold them for the first time. I dont think the fear ever goes away, but just try to stay positive my thoughts and hopes are with you.

Cecilia - posted on 03/25/2010

i miscarried a baby girl at 20 wks and then again the next time i fell pregnant at 10 weeks... i found out that i had a condition with my blood, do u know why you lost the first three? you can hire a dopler that way wen u get worried u can check babys heartbeat. but what did u miscarry the first 3 too

Melissa - posted on 03/22/2010

I am so sorry for your losses. I lost my son 5wks ago at 18wks and Im having the same fears as you. I am not pregnant yet, but have really been struggling with whether or not to try again. I mean I want to, I desperately want another baby, but Im stuck in fear. Im hoping that in time I will be able to let go of the fear bc being pregnant is such a miracle and I want to enjoy it. I know thats so hard for us moms who have lost an unborn baby, but try to relax and take it one day at a time. Enjoy every moment of your pregnancy and your baby. I pray that you will have a healthy miracle in your arms in 9 months. Keep your head up.