Do i celebrate my angels 1st b'day when he fell asleep 2days later?

Jacqueline - posted on 09/16/2009

I'm so sorry 4 ur loss. That is the hardest thing to go through in life. I know, Ive been through it. my son passed away when he was 2 months old. S.I.D.S. Its a traumatic thing and things will never be like how they were but the key is to look 4ward to the future and know that god is keeping him safe. Its completely okay 2 celebrate the birth of your son. There are a number oft things u can do. Planting a tree is 1 of them and each year U can plant flowers. I dont know if u have a store in ur area called "things Remembered" but u can have a candle holder made with ur childs name engraved on it and light it whenever u feel like it either 4 birthdays or xmas or anytime u want to have ur sacred moment about him. Hope this helped. Take care and stay positive.

Brooke - posted on 09/15/2009

My daughter was a stillbirth and for her first birthday, my mom and i went out and put balloons all over her grave with a banner that said first birthday... We decorated everything. We also bought balloons and wrote happy birthday, Rylee and let them go.
My second daughter passed away at 19months and my son, husband and i will be going out to her grave in November to decorate her stone and surrounding area. We will most likely also have a cake and a party for her too.
Your child will always be YOUR child, no matter what! You will never forget anything that relates to your children. I celebrate my daughters birthdays the same way i celebrate my sons. Even if they are gone.
Just think...when you're celebrating your son/daughters birthdays here on earth...They're getting an even bigger one in heaven!

Carolann - posted on 09/14/2009

I just read a few notes to you and it has been over 20 years and I still remember Emmanuel's day. mm I remember everything that was said and done that day. Cry? not always mostly just think and am sad. love christmas lights n all,but from thanksgiving on I just am down,try hard to make the holidays nice for my three girls n now 2 year old Grandson now down to 2 grils and my Grandson. And there isnt much good to say but that you wont forget and u can't help it. get over it? ya so easy to say n may be ment to be helpful depending on the tone but as I said it just doesnt work that way be nice if it did. My Mom with my daughter? Oh so sweet I am still heavy on doctor depression med's and mom said I need to grow up and take it like an adult,yes it hurt but grow up n move on. oh that being just a few days later.I was hurting so bad I said well with all the love in this family all I can say is I only asked God that if any of my little family had to go at any time I wanted us to all go together and she eyed me and said really well I wish I could die as well but that hasnt happened. I said well you know u r old and about now I could help you out if you really want to die so bad you know with all your meds u take now it would be considered an accident if u happen to take 2 many. She walked out of the room.That was over a year ago and wont even take a cup of coffee from me unless she can see me making it.lol.what I didnt need was her ignorance again nore her mean nasty eyes beating on me. I didn't even have my baby buried yet. One thing you don't want to mess with a Mom hahaha! You know if they mean well deep down. But anyways you are Mom and so am I. my baby turned 23 in June and I fixed up her site on tagged with angels and bday ballons and put in her favorite songs. Was I happy? uuhhh yes I was doing it all and crying tears of joy just as I was told. no and u may not be happy,but if u feel better doing something then u go and do it dont care what anyone says that is ur baby and u have the right. U had ur baby no one else did,so give flowers and or ballons,sit and cry or cry tears of mixed emotion from ur hurt to ur memories aftre all that child is part of u and always will be and there is an empty spot there,but try not to forget the lones u have left. That can be hard at times. And ur pain for the one child hard at times on them,but they have to understand u love em the same and if u lost them the hurt would be just the same. Each of our babies have our skin,our blood,a piece of our heart and that will never change not for anyone. I have lost 2 and am scared to death literally for my last 2. God has a warped sence of humor.

Carolann - posted on 09/14/2009

nd since then have been guestioned of how I get I have 4 kids when I only had 3 when a certain someone seen it in my bible. mmm know where they r all going n can go now don't we? Yes that baby is forever a part of you. I was home and took care of myself with my son and I was home and had the police come to me n hand me her purse. Both hard. I love her so so much and I hurt to hug her again and I hurt to see my son and touch his tiny fingers,it is all the same hurt only one has more memories n stories but all the hurt is real and you ARE MOM! God be with you all. To lose at birth is hard,but to hold and love and ripped away is pure hell. See your hands never forget nore do your arms and your heart? OMG! Mom's deserve Mothersday without a doubt.and to all who says get over it I say may god bless you with the same love n pain of blessings you rightly desearve by 10. Some times people don't mean to be mean ,but mostly they do. So they are sick of u hurting well isnt that just 2 bad? like u just cryed to god to let u hurt because u just couldnt live without it. People have no right to speak if they have no idea what their mouth is running about. A real Mother never forgets,a dog even crys for their dead baby or older one taken so how much more should we? U wouldn't be much of a Mom nore a woman if u didn't remember or have hurt now would you? God bless you and remember to take care to take care!

Gina - posted on 09/12/2009

Quoting Summer:

Gina,
People who are not supportive simply do not understand, of course you should celebrate Christian's birthday any way you want to. I know the first few years, all I could manage was sitting by her grave and crying to celebrate Rose's birthday. I also brought her flowers. Each person needs to do what they feel is right. My Rose was only 12 days old when she died, I am so sorry to hear that your family is not supportive, they may not know how to be (not that it is a good excuse either way). I don't hardly remember the first year after Rose passed, I saw that on another persons post, so maybe it is normal. Just get through one day at a time and hold tight to your other son, having him will help you through this especially if you can talk to him about how you feel and how he feels.

Don't expect to feel happy for Christian's birthday, if you do then great...but if you don't, give yourself a break, it has only been a year since you went through the hardest thing in your life!

My heart goes out to you!
Summer

Summer

It seems us angel mums only know the true pain,Like you, i find my self most days still criying over the cem on my own, or just sitting there, so i can be together, yes i am trying to deal 1day at time,but feel i have to push myself, because of family. I feel i cant grieve around them,as i get told i'm mad!!! Snap out of it.

I am sorry for your loss of rose, i bet she was a beautiful baby girl.Massive hug to you.

Thank you for your help.

love gina xx 

Gina - posted on 09/12/2009

Quoting Summer:

Gina,
People who are not supportive simply do not understand, of course you should celebrate Christian's birthday any way you want to. I know the first few years, all I could manage was sitting by her grave and crying to celebrate Rose's birthday. I also brought her flowers. Each person needs to do what they feel is right. My Rose was only 12 days old when she died, I am so sorry to hear that your family is not supportive, they may not know how to be (not that it is a good excuse either way). I don't hardly remember the first year after Rose passed, I saw that on another persons post, so maybe it is normal. Just get through one day at a time and hold tight to your other son, having him will help you through this especially if you can talk to him about how you feel and how he feels.

Don't expect to feel happy for Christian's birthday, if you do then great...but if you don't, give yourself a break, it has only been a year since you went through the hardest thing in your life!

My heart goes out to you!
Summer

Summer

It seems us angel mums only know the true pain,Like you, i find my self most days still criying over the cem on my own, or just sitting there, so i can be together, yes i am trying to deal 1day at time,but feel i have to push myself, because of family. I feel i cant grieve around them,as i get told i'm mad!!! Snap out of it.

I am sorry for your loss of rose, i bet she was a beautiful baby girl.Massive hug to you.

Thank you for your help.

love gina xx 

Gina - posted on 09/12/2009

To all the mums that replied thank you very very much with your kind words and ideas, i know when the time comes i will be in bits, but i will be sending lots off balloons off, and put balloons in my babies special garden, i think i will make a tiny cake 3" by 3" and leave it in my babies garden, so christian knowsi havnt forgot him. Thank you all again so much for your help, kind words and understanding. His b'day isnt till 30th nv and then he went to be an angel 2days later, but i will let you know how it went. thank you again. love to everybody xxxx gina xxxx

Gina - posted on 09/12/2009

Jennifer that is lovely, i too have a special garden. xx

Gina - posted on 09/12/2009

Karen,Thank you for your reply, yes i know i am going to be so mixed up and not very sociable, Yes i will remember his b'day and ignore comments if people think i am wrong, he was and still is my precious baby son. xxx

Gina - posted on 09/12/2009

Dear vicki thank you, for your kind words, i am so sorry for your loss, but i will take on board what you have said. thank you. x

Gina - posted on 09/12/2009

Kim, thank you i have a tree planted already, but thank you for suggestion. xx

Gina - posted on 09/12/2009

Quoting Amy:

My baby Will was stillborn on Feb 9 2008. I took his first birhday off from work and bought balloons and went to his grave and let them go in his honor. He is still your baby and you can celebrate his birthday christmas or whatever holiday you want if this makes you feel better. I take flowers and pinwheels and knick knacks to his grave. I know I will see my baby again one day in heaven because I am a christian. You will to if you are a christian. I read and am leading a book study at my church for women who have lost babies. It is called Safe in the Arms of God by John MacArthur. This book has really helped me. I will pray for you. Amy

Hi amy its gina, thank you for your kind words, i take lots off things to both my babies rexting place and there specil garden, but i think in fact i know i will let off lots off ballons with messages, thank you. can i get this book other than from church? I need all the help i can. I am soory for your loss, my first son george-paul was born still born, 17yrs ago,not a day goes by when i dont think of him, along with the loss of christian. I'm just lucky that one of my other sons, managed to fight and is here with me now, thank you for your help. Big hug gina xxx

Gina - posted on 09/12/2009

Quoting Jenny:

I have went and bought balloons and wrote a message on mine and let my other kids write a message on theirs and then we sent them to heaven for him it helped me and it also helped my other kids to remember our angel and how preciouse he is I buy him a present every year to put at the cemetary but I personally never could do the cake thing it was too hard for me to watch my other kids dig into their cake on their b-day and then have a cake for him not to be able to even touch but I have heard alot of people getting cakes for their angel I hope things start to get easier for you and if you ever need someone to talk to for support or just to talk I am always here to listen
xx

Thank you jenny, i think that is what i am going to do, get balloons, at least i know they will go to heaven and christian and his angek friends can play with them, i will put lots aroung his special garden, Thank you, for your help i will hoe to talk with you soon.

Thank you again.I am sorry for your loss too. xxx gina xxx

Kim - posted on 08/25/2009

We had a memorial sevice the first year, and now we make a trip to her grave with a small token and flowers on her bday.

Tammy - posted on 08/24/2009

Quoting Gina:

Do i celebrate my angels 1st b'day when he fell asleep 2days later?

I want to celebrate my baby christians 1st b'day on 30th nov 09, but he went to be an angel 2days later, i have no support from family,and i am getting over a mental breakdown and on anti dep tabs,i just want my christian to know he was very much loved and so very missed by me his mummy and brother.How can i celebrate his birth, any ideas, i wanted to get reausable bags made up but they cost to much to make awareness for neonatal units,or to try and be happy on his b'day. please help and advice me. thank you gina. xx

Hi Gina,

I celebrate my son Cosmo's birthday in January by going to the cemetary to release balloons for him. His sister Stellar makes a card for him and leaves it on his "love rock" (headstone). I am so sorry that you have no support from family - that is very sad. Whatever you choose to do to celebrate Christians birthday will be special - for you and his brother. Just keep in mind that there is no wrong way to grieve and no wrong way to celebrate. I believe that our children make us who we are - weather they are physically here or heavenly angels.

Take Care

Tammy   mom to Cosmo, Stellar and Elaina

Jenny - posted on 08/23/2009

I have went and bought balloons and wrote a message on mine and let my other kids write a message on theirs and then we sent them to heaven for him it helped me and it also helped my other kids to remember our angel and how preciouse he is I buy him a present every year to put at the cemetary but I personally never could do the cake thing it was too hard for me to watch my other kids dig into their cake on their b-day and then have a cake for him not to be able to even touch but I have heard alot of people getting cakes for their angel I hope things start to get easier for you and if you ever need someone to talk to for support or just to talk I am always here to listen

xx

Dawn - posted on 08/22/2009

Bless you, of course you want to celectrate yout precious Christians 1st b/day xxxx. Why not get some balloons and release them with a note on to your precious Angel. Whatever you decide to you I hope that the day is as easy as itcan be for you xxxxx.

Amy - posted on 08/22/2009

My baby Will was stillborn on Feb 9 2008. I took his first birhday off from work and bought balloons and went to his grave and let them go in his honor. He is still your baby and you can celebrate his birthday christmas or whatever holiday you want if this makes you feel better. I take flowers and pinwheels and knick knacks to his grave. I know I will see my baby again one day in heaven because I am a christian. You will to if you are a christian. I read and am leading a book study at my church for women who have lost babies. It is called Safe in the Arms of God by John MacArthur. This book has really helped me. I will pray for you. Amy

Jacki - posted on 08/22/2009

my beautiful little girl passed away last week and its would have been her second bday next month, im going up to her grave with flowers and ballons to celebrate ho lucky i was to have her

Robyn - posted on 08/20/2009

of corse you do honey! i have a grandbaby who died when she was almost 3 months old, and we still celebrate her bday, and she has been an angel since 2001. but by all means, celebrate her sweet little life of the 2 days, for as long as u live! it will also help you in your jealing process

Kim - posted on 08/20/2009

Have you thought about planting a tree in his honor so that your could watch it grow and mature and have a daily reminder of him? Just a thought

Diane - posted on 08/19/2009

I bake a cake every year in memory of my son on his birthday. This really helps with my grieving. It's been 8 years but I have done this every year.

Sharon - posted on 08/19/2009

Gina,

I felt very much the same way! I spent days looking for a very special candle holder so I could light a candle in rememberance of my son on special days (birthdays, Anniversarys, Christmas, family gatherings) My son was included and remembered.

Sharon

Summer - posted on 08/18/2009

Gina,
People who are not supportive simply do not understand, of course you should celebrate Christian's birthday any way you want to. I know the first few years, all I could manage was sitting by her grave and crying to celebrate Rose's birthday. I also brought her flowers. Each person needs to do what they feel is right. My Rose was only 12 days old when she died, I am so sorry to hear that your family is not supportive, they may not know how to be (not that it is a good excuse either way). I don't hardly remember the first year after Rose passed, I saw that on another persons post, so maybe it is normal. Just get through one day at a time and hold tight to your other son, having him will help you through this especially if you can talk to him about how you feel and how he feels.

Don't expect to feel happy for Christian's birthday, if you do then great...but if you don't, give yourself a break, it has only been a year since you went through the hardest thing in your life!

My heart goes out to you!
Summer

Christine - posted on 08/18/2009

Gina, You do what helps you grieve and heal. You never forget . . . the hurt never goes away . . . but you will learn how to go on without him. It's been 22 years since my daughter drowned . . . and I have a party if I need it. I will cry, laugh, and miss her . . . and now I try to help others learn to live again.
Bake a cake, have a party with close friends and/or family that met him . . . and remember-He loves you, and he knows you love him . . . he is your son for now and always.

Vicki - posted on 08/18/2009

HI Gina, I'm so sorry for your loss, you really need to do what is right for you, ignore comments from other people if they think it's not right to celebrate, he was a little person and he was born, of course you should celebrate. My son John died not long before his 21st birthday and it was extremely traumatic but we decided to celebrate his birthday with his favourite meal, his friends and a birthday cake and we have done every year since. This year was our 5th birthday without him and we still have his favourite meal (pie & chips), and a birthday cake and we always sing happy birthday to him. John was a huge part of our life and his birthday is a very special day and I will celebrate his birth until the day I die

Karen - posted on 08/18/2009

Hi Gina, I'm sorry you have to cope with losing a precious son. There is no easier answers to the question you ask. You need to do what feels right to you, but you are likely to be extra sad around those dates no matter what you decide to do.

It is a wonderful feeling to know that you shared even a small amount of time with your little one, so doing something to memorialize his birth is quite appropriate. It may be difficult for you to be very social though, so I would keep it simple and private. I always plant flowers for my son on his birthday and tend to them lovingly the way I would have tended to him.

Jennifer - posted on 08/18/2009

We release balloons every year, plus we have garden for our son and we add a new ornament to it every year.

Siobhan - posted on 08/18/2009

I've heard lots of ideas that were suggested to me, have a cake, just with your hubby or just you yourself, afterall it is for you, not anyone else. You could release balloons for him in celebration, ect.