Does anybody ever feel guilty?

Amy - posted on 06/16/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )




When I had a stillborn, my frist son August 4th 2004, sometimes, or alot of times I feel guilty about his passing. Like I should have known something was wrong, but didn't. I even felt moving the night before! But wake up in the morning in such terrible pain and theres times where not only do I miss him so badly, I feel guilty that he's gone in the first place. Has this happend to anybody else?


Valerie - posted on 06/17/2010




I still feel guilty about losing my twins they didn't have a chance to even make it here. I had an etopic pregnancy but it still hurts that I had to end the pregnancy. I felt like I took their lives

Latrice - posted on 06/17/2010




I feel the same way, I just lost my baby on March 31 2010 she was stillborn also. She was a very active baby and she was also moving the night before, the next day there was no pain but she wasnt moving. We were moving that day (I didnt left anything) but it took me a while to realize that she wasnt moving so i went to get checked out and they told me her heart wasnt beating. Her umbilical cord got twisted up to the point to where it stopped her blood from flowing and that made her heart stop. What makes me think its my fault is that I just had a dr appt on the 25th of that month and I told the dr she wasnt moving as much as she normally does, we listened to her heartbeat and it was strong so we left it at that. But the thought that stays in the back of my mind is that maybe her cord was getting twisted up then which is why she wasnt so active, I just feel like I should have known.

Kerrin - posted on 06/17/2010




I did all the time when we found out our daughter wouldn't live.
I felt like it was my fault & that my body betrayed me because of the circumstances.

Our daughter's issues happened at conception & the docs were surprised that I didn't miscarry. Instead, none of my hormones kicked in. No sickness, no weight gain (in fact I lost weight), no movement, bled every month just like my usual period - no anything that usually alerts people to the fact they're pregnant. I even took 3 pregnancy tests in that time (and 2 more at the doctors), all giving a negative result. I was over 6 months pregnant when my hormones kicked in & I finally gave a positive & at my first scan showed to be 33/34 weeks along.

That was a shock in itself & then to be told that she was brain dead & wouldn't live because of the complications, it devestated the whole family. I blamed myself too. Felt I should have somehow instinctively known I was pregnant or that something was wrong. And I felt incredibly stupid to boot, even though nothing would have changed even if I had known earlier.

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