Mandy - posted on 11/21/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )
well its been a year and a half since my precious boy was sent to be with god. it hurts so bad, knowing he will never have a first day of school, he will never have his first girlfriend, he will never have his first love, he will never marry, he will never have children, and I will never get to see him grow up! I always ask god why? why me? Why my baby? Was i not a good mommy to him, did I not deserve him? They say he is in a better place but what was so bad about his place on earth with his mommy? why take him so sudden, so tragic, so soon? Why give me no warning, no reason? I have so many unanswered questions that Ill never have answers too? I often wonder if god is holding him tight and giving him all he needs, does he get his favorite toys, his favorite foods, does god make penutbutter and jelly like his momma does? Does god make sure he cleans behind his ears in the bathtub, does god confort him when he skins his knees, does god have those cute little ice packs in heaven? I wonder if logan misses me, or ever wants to come home to me. The sweetest thing is when bug cries for only me and only i can make her better. Does Logan feel that too? Does he remember me, does he knkow I love him and miss him? How do I comfort my pain when it feels like a thousand knives are in my heart, how do i mend the piece of my heart that belongs to him?