Does time really heal the pain after losing your child???????

Misty - posted on 02/17/2010 ( 94 moms have responded )

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My daughter has been gone for 2.5 yrs and the pain is still so very raw. The whole in my heart is forever going to be with me ans my family. My now 7 yr old, misses her sister so very much, they are only 13 months apart and are best friends. She talks about her everyday and puts special thing in her cedar chest. I was just wondering if other mom's are still feeling the way I do. Our family went to therapy for over an year after we lost Maci. Losing her wasvery traumatic and the procedures and pain she had to go through was very hard to watch, but she was such a trooper and took it like a champ. She was boorn with HLHS and died due to major complications after her final heart surgery......she has a carepage at carepages.com macimommyslovebug if you would like to read about her journey and ours. I am new to circle of mom's.

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Heather - posted on 04/28/2013

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I just lost my 2 baby boys 9 and 6 April 7 2013 in a house fire. My husband and I haven't been married a year till may and together we have 6 kids, him 3, me 2 and us 1. Our daughter is only 7 months. That night there were 8 kids and the two of us in the house,my god kids came to stay the night for the first time 5 yr girl and 4 yr boy. Only 5kids and my husband and I made it out. my oldest son almost was out and turned around for his little brother and my god son. I wasn't breathing when they pulled me out and was brought back with mouth to mouth and taken to icu. I feel so many things, I'm pissed off,I'm sad, I'm confused,I'm jealous of my husband bc MY kids didn't survive,I feel guilty I did wake up sooner and get dveryone out. All I do is cry, my boys were my life, the last 9 years they haven't left me but long enough to go to school. I'm so lost without them and I don't think I can ever get through this!!!! Any advice is appreciated I just need to hear from moms who know the pain from losing their child or children ...

Karen - posted on 01/17/2014

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I came here hoping for a little something to help me. I lost my oldest boy to a drunk driver 5 years ago. He would be 30 this year in just a few days. I see the topic is will the pain go away. For me the answer is no, but yet at the same time it is not as time consuming and as raw. I still think of him daily that will never change, I can smile now when I remember things and events where as before they would bring me to my knees crying. I love to hear his name spoken out load. that is something people do not do . I think they believe by not speaking of him it is easier-It is not. It actually hurts when people try to avoid stories and memories trying to save me the pain- he was and is my life and I want to speak of him, the memories others have of him help me thru the day so I want others to remember with me tell me stories of him. His name is Richie and he was here and will always be here!!! For other Mothers and Fathers going thru a lose like this I have no promises that things will be better- We all heal at different paces . But you will form a scar tissue over this. I have kept myself so busy the last 5 years and when I do take time for myself to relax is when the reality hits and I am at the same place I was 5 years ago. I want so much to believe he is away at college or on deployment anything except for the reality of him being dead. Not sure how long I can post but I hope you all find some peace and learn to go on- There are still people who need you and love you. Try to be strong

Connie - posted on 09/05/2013

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Hi! I too, lost my loving daughter, Christina due to HLHS at the age 22.5 years old. It's been 3 years now. Christina is a Norwood Baby, stage 4. Dr. Norwood actually saved her life and I have had the most fabulous life any mother could ever dream of. I never, ever took life (especially Christina's) for granted. This is what I hold on too and I never look back to second guess any decisions that I have had to make. I know I did everything I could to give Christina such a fabulous life. She is my rock. Although "sometimes" hard, I keep everything in a positive perspective. Not a day goes by that I don't thank Jesus and Christina for what they have taught me in life. I've been in counseling for many years and I don't think I'll ever leave. I believe in God and I believe that one day I will be with Christina again. I love and miss my baby very much.
Connie

Tracey - posted on 02/06/2014

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Hello Linda, I reply to yours because we have something in common. My daughter also died in a ATV accident on September 30, 2013. She was 13 years old and my only daughter. She was precious, smart, beautiful, and a kind loving heart. My precious baby. She hit her head and damaged her brain stem. She died from traumatic brain injury. She was riding on an embankment on our property and it flipped. It was a Polaris ranger. I know how you feel. You and all the other mothers. I can barely function. The pain is soooo bad it almost feels like my arms and legs are paralyzed. There are a lot of days I don't get out of bed. I'm a stay home mom and she was my life. I can't look at her pictures because it hurts too bad. Her bedroom takes my breath when I go in there I scream and cry out in agony. I think of her from the time I get up till I go to bed. I know she's in heaven but I'm selfish and want her here with me. How do we survive this? Life is dead to me. I ache for her. God help all us mothers that have lost children.

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Jeanne - posted on 08/18/2014

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I'm sorry I know exactly how you feel. Don't let anyone tell you any of those usual; I'm sorry;it will get better, etc, I understand it's not truth. It takes a long time. My world is literally incomplete so if someone told me I would get through it they have never been through it themselves'. I'm not living this world I'm Just existing. So I'm sorry I know I will see my son soon. The only thing that gets me through this!

Jeanne - posted on 08/18/2014

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My son would of been 24 years old tomorrow. He has left this world almost 3 years again (homicide) with no future in getting him prosecuted. I will not give up. I believe I will see him again. If I didn't have that knowledge and faith I probably wouldn't be coping. I'm Christian and feel I have let my son down and this is crushing me!

Darlene - posted on 07/30/2014

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I lost my son at 24 to cancer, almost 3 years ago. Aaron was such a wonderful young man. He was handsome, strong, kind, loving, intelligent. Played college football and was a chemistry major as well. I can't say I'm dong well, in fact, I think it gets more difficult with time. You realize if's not a nightmare, this is just the new reality, and you miss them more and more. I've contemplated giving up and letting the grief overtake me but how would that affect my family. I know how terrible it is to be the one left behind. I just want to encourage you to seek out Compassionate Friends near you. They are a world wide organization for parents that have lost children.

It is unnatural to have a child predecease you. It should never happen. It is a parent's duty to protect their children and I feel like I let Aaron down somehow.

I wish you all inner peace, I hope we all get there.

Lungi - posted on 07/30/2014

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Lungi

Hi everyone, I lost my son on 30 June 2014, I had premature labour, I was five months pregnant when my body said it's time to deliver him, he died because he was too small and his lungs had not fully developed. I have no words to express the pain I feel in heart, a part of me has died along with him. I don't know how I will ever survive this pain. There days when I struggle to get myself out of bed, I have no appetite for food at all, I try and force myself to eat. All I want is my son

Cannhaywood - posted on 07/23/2014

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I lost my only child May 23 2014. He had just turned 17 he was killed by his friend in driving drunk. There was 5 kids age 15 to 17 in truck. My boy was only one killed. He was killed 3.9 miles from his own home. I was at scene of accident within 10-15 minutes. I will never get the picture of scene out of my mind. The last time I seen my precious child. I am so lost' angry . How could god take a mothers only child. He was so smart and Handsome. My best friend . Who do I share my heart with now. Its broken into. I hate people telling me he is in a better place. He was happy and so loved. By family and Friends. I am lost . Hoping that someone who has been through this can help me

Heather - posted on 07/16/2014

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my expereince was much differant i don not even know if i have a right to comment on this my son only lived a hour after birth that was 14 years ago i still cry every night and my 15 year old ask questions about him but since he was not even a day old i can't tell him much but what happened

Sheri - posted on 07/08/2014

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I do feel your pain. I felt like I was I on auto pilot for dso long after myndi's death. Someone asked me today if it has gotten easier. It would hive been her 32 birthday I said Mimi, I just believe I've learned how to hide the pain better through these lady few years. I've always been pretty good about putting on the happy fave enemy when I'm dying inside I'm many different isituations. I just feel so alone even when I'm with people.

Dot - posted on 07/04/2014

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Hi, I just needed to see if anyone is feeling like I do and yes you are. I lost my eldest daughter to cancer in Oct 2011 . I hate October and I hate 2011 . I find it unbearable to even look at her photo, it cuts me up. She has left behind a loving and caring husband and two boys, now 12yrs and 15yrs, and a devastated younger sister. She was just 38 yrs old when she died from an overdose of chemotherapy and neglect from the doctors who did not realised she had cancer even though she had been going to them for five years with night sweats. Yes I feel angry, but my grief overwhelms me and anger doesn't help me as it won't bring her back. I thought that I should be feeling better, but I don't even though my friends would like me to say I am. I have felt like taking my life as I feel the pain is unbearable, but I couldn't put any more pain on my husband, daughter, grandchildren and son-in-law who needs me. I suppose just reading your reviews helps me to see I am normal and NO, the pain never goes away and I function like a wind up toy. I have a faith in God, and that helps, but I still have to carry on trying to live my life without her which at this moment in time I cannot.

Li - posted on 06/25/2014

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Hi Tracey....my heart goes out to you. I too lost my daughter and those agonising screams helps release the pain no one but us understands..this is not an easy journeyand i wish there was an answer to all this..be strong and know that God is comfort

Pam - posted on 06/16/2014

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With each passage I read, my heart aches because I lost my son 11 1/2 years ago and sometimes I think I cannot stand the break in my heart any longer, I found him dead of a drug overdose when I went to wake him up for work. He was 26, From all of this time, I have discovered that the pain will always be with you. I carried him for nine months, I sent him to school, I watched him graduate, every milestone. But many I will never share with him. I can look at pictures, but not videos from family gatherings, I don't know why. I saw him the day before, and he was a vital handsome young man. He was six foot three and about 185 lbs. The phone rang off the hook with girls calling. I never made him leave our home. My husband and i grieve differently. I still cry every morning, and he is more private. I have two adult children and six grandchildren, and I now devote my life to them. I am very overprotective of my grandchildren, and three of them are over 18. My son had a daughter, though never married. Olivia is 18, and I see her all the time. She is part of my son that I still have. Many times the looks she gives or how she laughs looks just like my Darrin. Will the tears ever stop? God Bless all of you. Keep going for your other children and husband. That's all you can do.

Sheri - posted on 06/03/2014

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It will be 5 years this coming October since my daughter who just turned 27, died. It was a sudden death. It has definately changed me forever. People in the beginning of course were vey supportive and surrounded me with love and compassion. Of course life goes on and everyone elses does to, as it should I guess. The first couple of years I literally was in a fog. It was like she was on a vacation and would eventually be home again. I have went through so many emotions through these past years and still do. Grief, disbelief, resentment, anger, etc. Sometimes just in the most random places,, it hits me that she is really gone. I can't talk to her, be with her, nothing. It takes my breath away. My heart goes out to all the mothers and fathers, who are in this group that we certainly didn't sign up for.

Sue - posted on 05/11/2014

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Linda Iam the same - I just don't see the point in going thru this agony - his room has never been touched - can't bare to look at pics vids etc as I can't stop the tears I miss him so much why did they take our kids Linda ? Why not some person who is evil or pedo? Why why why why I hate God he has destroyed me Iam sorry not helping your pain but I'm with u in spirit and know what yr going thru take care x

Verneesha - posted on 04/30/2014

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the pain is unbearable and Im not sure I can do it much longer. I long for my own death and the only thing that stops me is not wanting to hurt the ones here who to depend on me. this MAy will be the 5 year anniversary and Im still in deep distress. I long to be with my baby! This world is so cruel!

Babli - posted on 04/29/2014

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time never heals anyhting...we used to live with pain and that is bitter reality...im passing through...every second every minute every day....

User - posted on 04/07/2014

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This pain do get better with years. But there is time when you will remember and it will hurt as a fresh cut wound. But it does get better god bless

Maria - posted on 02/06/2014

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I lost my Linda 20 months ago today. My life is not the same. People come in and out to visit eat dinner but as I am sitting there I just think of my daughter Linda. No matter how long the whole thought is we our lived our children. Children are suppose to bury us not the opposite way. Linda was turning 27 and on her birthday she was gone. Didn't gave chance to say goodbye. I was put on the earth to protect her and I think everyone feels the same way. We don't only have a hole in our hearts but we also have the guilt of our angels leaving us no any of us leaving them. I pray for all of us I know time doesn't heal I don't know what does. The only thing I can say is I pray I will see my Linda and I pray that all of you will see your angels agsin.

Patricia - posted on 01/30/2014

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Linda, I ask the same questions, why? we'll never really know will we? we all have to live with that. I have been very mad a God. It's funny for me that in one breath I'll tell God I'm so angry at Him and I can't bring myself to pray and that I don't know if I can worship again and then in the same day cry to the very God I am so mad at. it gives us just a drop of how we aren't in control but still doesn't answer our questions, but I know there is an answer. Because the soul is eternal That's where the answer lies. The body may come the body may go. that's just the philosophical method to help the mind cope. then there's the matter of the heart and it's there we feel our pain. I know exactly how you feel. I feel that too and can't convey it to those who haven't experienced it. thank God we have each other. thankyou for letting me say my peace. it helps me also.

Linda - posted on 01/30/2014

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Patricia Thank-you for your heartfelt reply .You have given me something new to think about.I have to relearn to live without him but the days just seem to be getting worse. I never in my life new that so much pain and suffering was even possible . I am scard that I will feel like this forever.I am his mom still and want to make him proud but it is so very hard .I miss him so much I can't even use words to describe how I feel .I am sad that I am questioning my faith because it was a big part of myself before I lost my son .Now questions like why, why my son ,I need to know why God would take my son I am sorry but that is always in my head. please forgive me lord. thankyou again .

Patricia - posted on 01/29/2014

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Linda, PLEASE don't loose faith in everything. I too lost the love of my life. My only best friend and daughter in 2008. I'm not one of those people that say time heals because I know time doesn't heal. But one thing I can say is that we do live on. Let me please maybe give you alittle understanding that has helped me in my anger, grief, loneliness, sadness, and again anger and above all my loss of faith. Think of your son now. And try to imagine if he could see you now and needed you, what condition would he hope to find you in. Where ever he is, he needs you to be strong for him. Pray to him, pray to the powers that be to protect him for you because you are not able to. Our children have not died. Their souls still live on and it is up to us now to be the kind of mother they want us to be. we are still their mothers. We have a responsibility to them to be strong despite the fact we miss them more than life itself. everything you're feeling is normal. just love your son and be strong for him now.

Linda - posted on 01/28/2014

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I lost my precious son on Oct4/2013 ,I to feel like I am just existing not living, I will never live again . I am faking it for everyone else. My son was my life .He was 21 years old. He died up north while at a fly in Hydro Station. He died all alone on a dirt road from an ATV accident. I have gotten no closure and by the looks of it will get none anytime soon.I have lost faith in everything. All I have is time and time doesn,t do a dam thing for me . each day is worse just living for existing. The heartache I have is unbearable.I know what the moms are going through.

Onna - posted on 01/27/2014

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Time heals nothing.....2 years and 7 months without my son, my only child and it feels as if it was yesterday. You wake up to feeling empty and you go to bed feeling that same way. When your whole world has been torn apart, and everything you loved is gone...........how in the hell could time ever heal that?

Patricia - posted on 01/23/2014

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Thank you Karen for your post. I cry not everyday but a lot over loosing my daughter, 5 years ago also. I also like it when people speak of her and tell stories of her. She was funny, resourceful, stingy, generous, she had a temper, she was a good listener, very pretty, a good sister, a loving mother, a best friend to me and others, she had excellent taste in decorating, and above all she was forgiving. Thank you Jahnavi for giving me the blessing of having you in my life. I'm suffering without you but I will go on.

Patricia - posted on 01/23/2014

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to all us ladies who have lost our son, or I like me, a daughter. I agree with everyone that time does not heal. It is ever fresh as the day they left. My best friend and daughter has been gone a little over 5 years. Though there is time there, the pain is as if time has stopped the day she left. No one can understand this unless you personally go threw it. I get angry when others make comments about healing and so on because it's like dismissing my pain. Now, no one says it to me because I've made them aware. it helps to tell others that time does not heal the pain, and no I will never get over loosing my baby, whatever their age was. people need to respect that, even if they can't understand it.

Raj Kumar - posted on 01/11/2014

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To Say that Time heals the pain of those unfortunate parents who lost their loving child.....it amounts to adding insult to their injuries. Love and Affection of Parents for their lost child is beyond the limits of time......Even after death of the body of those parents.....their pain remains recorded in time....by way of those tears....those cries.....those sighs.............Yes I am Still crying for my Loving Son Arpit who died an untimely death just at the age of sixteen when we met with a road accident on this day of 11th January 2009 ....my body was saved and he died.............This Pain gives a feeling as if my loving son is still with us....I love this Pain and will live with this pain till my last breath.......We Miss You Arpit.......

Shawnareid24 - posted on 01/03/2014

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Reading everyone's post. Just makes me so sad. My son was 3 years old when he passed. That was a yr and a half ago. Nothing has gotten easier. I'm still sad. I still miss him every second of every single day. I have lost my job. I have nightmares. Take medicine. People say I'm the strongest person. They know. God had a plan. I don't believe any of that. Its so sad to believe such a happy happy little boy was taken from me. He was wonderful. So smart. He wasn't sick. Why couldn't god just take me instead. I don't understand I can't understand and I will never be the same without him. Jordan I love u. We are thinking of having another baby and I am scared for it to be a boy because of the fact I don't want anyone to even try to have this baby replace Jordan. I am just still so so so so sad. I miss him always.

Clarehartnell - posted on 01/02/2014

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I lost my angel a month ago and it's getting worse to bear. I can't look at pictures my mum bought me a beautiful locket but I can't beat to get a picture to put in it or look at his hair the mortuary got me. I feel like I'm faking my life carrying on. I didn't think I could have children and he was a miracle and I miss him so much he was perfect and healthy and I feel so guilty that I'm alive and he's not. He died of cot death. I feel like I want to scream at people all the time but I have to force a smile instead so that people don't worry about me. I hate them worrying about me. What if I never get pregnant again what if I do it won't be him. All I want is him. I am empty without him.

Nesha - posted on 12/30/2013

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It will never be the same for us mom who have loss a child...they would not understand...

Nesha - posted on 12/30/2013

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I know the pain..you are going through I loss my son 1year ago...he was seven years...how my heart hurt for him...I see the family and friends celebrating the holidays and all that goes through my minds let the Christmas goes fast...I mis my son...I cry so much....

Sexymami2184 - posted on 12/30/2013

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Gina you are so right about the stuff people say to us grieving moms especially "your the strongest woman I know!" And "your such an inspiration being as strong as you are through this!" I just want to scream at them "IM NOT STRONG im dying inside every second I have to keep living a life that my boys aren't in anymore. I FAKE a smile and conversations FOR EVERYONE else." Two of The worst things though to say to a mom whose lost a child is "least there in a better place then we are" and "everything happens for a reaso n" BULLCRAP there's no reason why my boys died in our burning home, nothing can be said that makes it ok or comforting. January will be 9 months since me and my BFF buried my 2 boys an her son and its definitely not gotten any easier if anything it's harder and the future holds nothing but more hard times of the same pain I've felt since I was told they didn't make it. Thinking about them never hugging me or kissing me night night takes my breath away the same EVERY time . I also wonder about God now too. What kind of God lets my babies die in a blazing hot burning house and doesn't step in?? My oldest was almost to safety from the house and turned around and went back to save his brother and friend but didn't make it before the smoke knocked him out like it did me. My 9 year old died a hero and sacrificed his life for another's bc I was raising him right like God expects of us when he gives us the blessing of children , so why do i deserve this punishment when millions abandon or abuse there children that they don't want yet the ones who adore there kids from the start are the ones suffering and mourning the death of there child or children!?! It's not fair I just want my boys back.

Gina - posted on 12/27/2013

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I lost my older son (14) 9 months ago in a tragic accident. I too, have a hard time with those things people say "you're strong" or "you're stronger than I would be" ...... Gee thanks. Really? You have no idea. You have no idea what I go through every second of the day, every second I miss him, walk by his room, look at his things, witness his lonely brother on a daily basis. Think of how happy our family WAS and are now destroyed. Then to be told by people "he's in a better place" or "he's in a happy place". REALLLLLY??? He wasn't sick, he wasn't suffering. He was a happy, loving, kind, compassionate thoughtful boy with a very bright future.
And he's in a happy place? You send your child to that better, happy place and let me know how that makes you feel!!!!!
It's also amazing how some people bombard you the first couple weeks after your loss. Then - they're gone. Life goes on. For them.
Thank goodness for the friends we have that have stuck around and are ALWAYS there for us. You find out real quickly who your real friends are.

I agree - I don't think time heals. If anything - gets harder as more and more realizations that he is not coming back. more plans surface that will never happen. There's a hole in my heart. My heart/chest literally hurt, every day.
It's excruciating to see a little brother missing his older brother/his best friend every single day. Now his life and who he WAS is forever changed. His happy childhood taken away as well.

I am not sure i believe there's a God any longer. Who would allow Such horrific pain inflicted on good people, happy families and children.

Stacey - posted on 12/23/2013

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I don't believe time heals.. I think as time goes on its 'easier' to put a smile on for the world but everyday I cry for my 11yr old son he died may 2012... everyone deals with things differently but the worst thing people say to me it 'your strong you will be ok' and that's rubbish as I have a heart and it belonged to my son.... and I am only here to look after my youngest son

Patricia - posted on 12/15/2013

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Linda, I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my only daughter 5 years ago to the complications of diabetes she got when she was 12. She lived to be 36. Prior to her dying she lost her legs, went on kidney dialysis and could not hold in food. She went down to below 80 lbs. A once beautiful and thriving beauty. She never lost her spirit and was an inspiration to all. I feel your pain. As mothers we all know no matter how old your child was, no matter how long it's been since they left, the pain in our hearts is felt between us. Love and blessings to us all.

Amnah - posted on 09/06/2013

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I lost my prety angle on the 16.08.13 she was my 4th child she waz born still my heart is tearing apart every day when i think of her i still think its a dream when i wake up :'(

Prudence Busisiwe - posted on 06/03/2013

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prudence

i lost my son in april he only lived for few days after he was born he was so amazing as he was my first born, i was so happy when i saw him for the first time after his death my life changed completetly the pain that i feel everyday my husband even took photo of him and kept them at our computer for memory and i cant even use the computer becouse seeing him makes me to hurt even more, he doesnt want to delete them. honestly speaking no one deserve to feel this pain i lost myself when he died my life will never be the same. i believe that God can see our pain and he is the only comfoter that we need and we will pull through even if is not knw but one day.

Nakiria - posted on 05/30/2013

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i lost my presious daughter six weeks ago and the pain is still very fresh in my heart. every time i pray to God to give me the strength to move on. but when i remember the negligence of the nurses, the pain and anger just comes afresh

User - posted on 05/08/2013

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No. What time does is it makes dealing with everyday life easier, but the pain will be always there. My 16 year old daughter went to heaven 1.5 years ago. Not a day or a moment goes by that she is not on my mind in some form. The one gift I would love to receive is the one I cannot have. Her memory will be with me always.

User - posted on 04/29/2013

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I also lost my daughter to breast cancer ,she was young and had two babies ,she had triple neg breast cancer ,I`m angry and mad ,she was almost three years out ,and she went to the James Cancer center ,they didn`t do scans ,they told her if something lasted over two weeks go see about it ,she got a back ache and stomach hurt ,she went to the ER and then they did a scan and it was in her Liver lungs and Brain ,and stomachlining ,all through her ,I watched her suffer ,they gave her Radation to the Brain ,then she couldn`t walk ,and 2 Chemo treatments ,she lived a month and two weeks ,I feel like they should have watched her closer ,she was beautiful ,she thought she was healed ,I cry every day ,and her kids are having a hard time also! Linda

Robin - posted on 04/29/2013

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Firstcandle.org looks like it might be a helpful website. I was able to find type of support group thing even in my county. I'll post more about it if its useful. I found it very hard to find what I'm looking for online, when it comes to help for all this!!

Robin - posted on 04/29/2013

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I'm not sure how forums work so I apologize in advance for any mistakes I make. I guess I am sharing with whoever is on here. Heather Dear made the most resent post so hopefully we can help each other some how. I lost my 4 month old son on April 12, 2013. He was a healthy baby. He did not die of SIDS. And the state I live in cause of death takes up to six months to find out. We just had his service Friday afternoon. My son was my fourth child, and if it wasn't for God, my husband and my other three children I don't know where I'd be. My emotions are like a roller coaster. And not one I want to be on. I know God wont give me more then I can handle, so I am trying to ask God for the strength I need to get through this. I know there won't be a day that goes by that I won't hurt. But I do have faith that it will get easier to handle. When I was googling looking for help for what I'm feeling this was one of the first things I saw. And I hate that there are so many moms on here that hurt as much as I do. I wouldn't wish this pain hurt torture tragedy on anyone. I made a promise to myself and my family that good would come from us losing him!! God doesn't make these bad things happen but he can help good come from them.

Tersia - posted on 04/27/2013

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I cannot possibly give you an answer. My precious child died 100 days ago. I am so scared I will never feel better.

April - posted on 04/22/2013

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Hey it's been 6 years to the day tomorrow that I lost my son. He was still born I carried full term and was told I had a text book pregnancy when I had aske to give birth early the doctor said u can wait and my baby died I can't seem to cope with it and its been this long. Is this normal?? I'm still with his father it i feel like I can't talk to him about ANYTHING I miss my baby so much there were. Times. When I thought death would be easier. Any answers would be greatly apriciated My heart goes out to ALL you parents who have lost a child




I have one more question. Would it be wrong to shy away from my daughter and boyfriend to seek counseling?

Angela - posted on 04/17/2013

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Hello Kelly I am new on here my beautiful 26 year old daughter died last year after giving birth to my grandson she hadn't even been married a year. She had cardio myopathy peri partum but they treated her for pneumonia, I have no husband as he left two years earlier and when she passed my whole life fell apart I could not understand how people could carry on as normal did they not know what had happened. I have just read your story and my heart goes out to you and your family I don't know where the strength comes from to just carry on with our lives without our precious child but it does I can't say I care or enjoy life like I used to but my little grandson gives me so much joy and I am grateful for the blessing of him . I pray your life will get easier and more bearable and that you find peace
Bless you
Angela herdman

Angela - posted on 04/17/2013

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Hello Kelly I am new on here my beautiful 26 year old daughter died last year after giving birth to my grandson she hadn't even been married a year. She had cardio myopathy peri partum but they treated her for pneumonia, I have no husband as he left two years earlier and when she passed my whole life fell apart I could not understand how people could carry on as normal did they not know what had happened. I have just read your story and my heart goes out to you and your family I don't know where the strength comes from to just carry on with our lives without our precious child but it does I can't say I care or enjoy life like I used to but my little grandson gives me so much joy and I am grateful for the blessing of him . I pray your life will get easier and more bearable and that you find peace
Bless you
Angela herdman

Peggy - posted on 04/11/2013

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I lost my 16 year old son in jan. He was my life. He was my baby. It is the worse kind of pain you could imagineI dont think I will ever get over it

Kelly - posted on 04/11/2013

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I lost my son Nick 3 weeks ago today, he was 28 yrs old, very happily married, not even 2 yrs. with a beautiful 11 month old son and step daughter he raised since she was 1 yr old. He was being treated for pneumonia..was pumped full of antibiotics, and given more to take home. He kissed his wife, baby & daughter goodnight and slept on the sofa, so he wouldn't make them sick. When my daughter n law woke at 7 am, she found him on the bathroom floor. My sweet granddaughter had to see the paramedics working on her Daddy, he didn't make it to the hospital before he was gone. I got a frantic phone call and 5 minutes later I felt my son leave this life. I am so angry with God, my faith is gone, my heart is broken and I feel as if I'll never recover from this. My son lived 700 miles away, but we spoke everyday,we did FaceTime 3 days a week, he was born when I was 16, we grew up together. He was my dearest friend. I can't look at photos of him, I cry all day and I can barely function. I Began grief therapy today, I hope it helps. My husband is to worried about me to grieve for himself. I just don't understand how this could happen? Nick was a well loved man and a man who loved deeply, he was kind and generous. Why take him when there are so many awful people still walking around breathing? I use to be afraid of death, now I'm not..because someday I know I'll see my baby again. I know I'll never be the same, there is a hole in my heart, I just hope it heals enough that I can smile again without feeling horribly sad because my son can't smile back.

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