Does time really heal the pain after losing your child???????

Misty - posted on 02/17/2010 ( 79 moms have responded )

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My daughter has been gone for 2.5 yrs and the pain is still so very raw. The whole in my heart is forever going to be with me ans my family. My now 7 yr old, misses her sister so very much, they are only 13 months apart and are best friends. She talks about her everyday and puts special thing in her cedar chest. I was just wondering if other mom's are still feeling the way I do. Our family went to therapy for over an year after we lost Maci. Losing her wasvery traumatic and the procedures and pain she had to go through was very hard to watch, but she was such a trooper and took it like a champ. She was boorn with HLHS and died due to major complications after her final heart surgery......she has a carepage at carepages.com macimommyslovebug if you would like to read about her journey and ours. I am new to circle of mom's.

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Heather - posted on 04/28/2013

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I just lost my 2 baby boys 9 and 6 April 7 2013 in a house fire. My husband and I haven't been married a year till may and together we have 6 kids, him 3, me 2 and us 1. Our daughter is only 7 months. That night there were 8 kids and the two of us in the house,my god kids came to stay the night for the first time 5 yr girl and 4 yr boy. Only 5kids and my husband and I made it out. my oldest son almost was out and turned around for his little brother and my god son. I wasn't breathing when they pulled me out and was brought back with mouth to mouth and taken to icu. I feel so many things, I'm pissed off,I'm sad, I'm confused,I'm jealous of my husband bc MY kids didn't survive,I feel guilty I did wake up sooner and get dveryone out. All I do is cry, my boys were my life, the last 9 years they haven't left me but long enough to go to school. I'm so lost without them and I don't think I can ever get through this!!!! Any advice is appreciated I just need to hear from moms who know the pain from losing their child or children ...

Karen - posted on 01/17/2014

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I came here hoping for a little something to help me. I lost my oldest boy to a drunk driver 5 years ago. He would be 30 this year in just a few days. I see the topic is will the pain go away. For me the answer is no, but yet at the same time it is not as time consuming and as raw. I still think of him daily that will never change, I can smile now when I remember things and events where as before they would bring me to my knees crying. I love to hear his name spoken out load. that is something people do not do . I think they believe by not speaking of him it is easier-It is not. It actually hurts when people try to avoid stories and memories trying to save me the pain- he was and is my life and I want to speak of him, the memories others have of him help me thru the day so I want others to remember with me tell me stories of him. His name is Richie and he was here and will always be here!!! For other Mothers and Fathers going thru a lose like this I have no promises that things will be better- We all heal at different paces . But you will form a scar tissue over this. I have kept myself so busy the last 5 years and when I do take time for myself to relax is when the reality hits and I am at the same place I was 5 years ago. I want so much to believe he is away at college or on deployment anything except for the reality of him being dead. Not sure how long I can post but I hope you all find some peace and learn to go on- There are still people who need you and love you. Try to be strong

Connie - posted on 09/05/2013

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Hi! I too, lost my loving daughter, Christina due to HLHS at the age 22.5 years old. It's been 3 years now. Christina is a Norwood Baby, stage 4. Dr. Norwood actually saved her life and I have had the most fabulous life any mother could ever dream of. I never, ever took life (especially Christina's) for granted. This is what I hold on too and I never look back to second guess any decisions that I have had to make. I know I did everything I could to give Christina such a fabulous life. She is my rock. Although "sometimes" hard, I keep everything in a positive perspective. Not a day goes by that I don't thank Jesus and Christina for what they have taught me in life. I've been in counseling for many years and I don't think I'll ever leave. I believe in God and I believe that one day I will be with Christina again. I love and miss my baby very much.
Connie

Prudence Busisiwe - posted on 06/03/2013

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prudence

i lost my son in april he only lived for few days after he was born he was so amazing as he was my first born, i was so happy when i saw him for the first time after his death my life changed completetly the pain that i feel everyday my husband even took photo of him and kept them at our computer for memory and i cant even use the computer becouse seeing him makes me to hurt even more, he doesnt want to delete them. honestly speaking no one deserve to feel this pain i lost myself when he died my life will never be the same. i believe that God can see our pain and he is the only comfoter that we need and we will pull through even if is not knw but one day.

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Jonathan - posted on 04/07/2014

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This pain do get better with years. But there is time when you will remember and it will hurt as a fresh cut wound. But it does get better god bless

Maria - posted on 02/06/2014

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I lost my Linda 20 months ago today. My life is not the same. People come in and out to visit eat dinner but as I am sitting there I just think of my daughter Linda. No matter how long the whole thought is we our lived our children. Children are suppose to bury us not the opposite way. Linda was turning 27 and on her birthday she was gone. Didn't gave chance to say goodbye. I was put on the earth to protect her and I think everyone feels the same way. We don't only have a hole in our hearts but we also have the guilt of our angels leaving us no any of us leaving them. I pray for all of us I know time doesn't heal I don't know what does. The only thing I can say is I pray I will see my Linda and I pray that all of you will see your angels agsin.

Tracey - posted on 02/06/2014

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Hello Linda, I reply to yours because we have something in common. My daughter also died in a ATV accident on September 30, 2013. She was 13 years old and my only daughter. She was precious, smart, beautiful, and a kind loving heart. My precious baby. She hit her head and damaged her brain stem. She died from traumatic brain injury. She was riding on an embankment on our property and it flipped. It was a Polaris ranger. I know how you feel. You and all the other mothers. I can barely function. The pain is soooo bad it almost feels like my arms and legs are paralyzed. There are a lot of days I don't get out of bed. I'm a stay home mom and she was my life. I can't look at her pictures because it hurts too bad. Her bedroom takes my breath when I go in there I scream and cry out in agony. I think of her from the time I get up till I go to bed. I know she's in heaven but I'm selfish and want her here with me. How do we survive this? Life is dead to me. I ache for her. God help all us mothers that have lost children.

Patricia - posted on 01/30/2014

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Linda, I ask the same questions, why? we'll never really know will we? we all have to live with that. I have been very mad a God. It's funny for me that in one breath I'll tell God I'm so angry at Him and I can't bring myself to pray and that I don't know if I can worship again and then in the same day cry to the very God I am so mad at. it gives us just a drop of how we aren't in control but still doesn't answer our questions, but I know there is an answer. Because the soul is eternal That's where the answer lies. The body may come the body may go. that's just the philosophical method to help the mind cope. then there's the matter of the heart and it's there we feel our pain. I know exactly how you feel. I feel that too and can't convey it to those who haven't experienced it. thank God we have each other. thankyou for letting me say my peace. it helps me also.

Linda - posted on 01/30/2014

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Patricia Thank-you for your heartfelt reply .You have given me something new to think about.I have to relearn to live without him but the days just seem to be getting worse. I never in my life new that so much pain and suffering was even possible . I am scard that I will feel like this forever.I am his mom still and want to make him proud but it is so very hard .I miss him so much I can't even use words to describe how I feel .I am sad that I am questioning my faith because it was a big part of myself before I lost my son .Now questions like why, why my son ,I need to know why God would take my son I am sorry but that is always in my head. please forgive me lord. thankyou again .

Patricia - posted on 01/29/2014

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Linda, PLEASE don't loose faith in everything. I too lost the love of my life. My only best friend and daughter in 2008. I'm not one of those people that say time heals because I know time doesn't heal. But one thing I can say is that we do live on. Let me please maybe give you alittle understanding that has helped me in my anger, grief, loneliness, sadness, and again anger and above all my loss of faith. Think of your son now. And try to imagine if he could see you now and needed you, what condition would he hope to find you in. Where ever he is, he needs you to be strong for him. Pray to him, pray to the powers that be to protect him for you because you are not able to. Our children have not died. Their souls still live on and it is up to us now to be the kind of mother they want us to be. we are still their mothers. We have a responsibility to them to be strong despite the fact we miss them more than life itself. everything you're feeling is normal. just love your son and be strong for him now.

Linda - posted on 01/28/2014

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I lost my precious son on Oct4/2013 ,I to feel like I am just existing not living, I will never live again . I am faking it for everyone else. My son was my life .He was 21 years old. He died up north while at a fly in Hydro Station. He died all alone on a dirt road from an ATV accident. I have gotten no closure and by the looks of it will get none anytime soon.I have lost faith in everything. All I have is time and time doesn,t do a dam thing for me . each day is worse just living for existing. The heartache I have is unbearable.I know what the moms are going through.

Onna - posted on 01/27/2014

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Time heals nothing.....2 years and 7 months without my son, my only child and it feels as if it was yesterday. You wake up to feeling empty and you go to bed feeling that same way. When your whole world has been torn apart, and everything you loved is gone...........how in the hell could time ever heal that?

Patricia - posted on 01/23/2014

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Thank you Karen for your post. I cry not everyday but a lot over loosing my daughter, 5 years ago also. I also like it when people speak of her and tell stories of her. She was funny, resourceful, stingy, generous, she had a temper, she was a good listener, very pretty, a good sister, a loving mother, a best friend to me and others, she had excellent taste in decorating, and above all she was forgiving. Thank you Jahnavi for giving me the blessing of having you in my life. I'm suffering without you but I will go on.

Patricia - posted on 01/23/2014

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to all us ladies who have lost our son, or I like me, a daughter. I agree with everyone that time does not heal. It is ever fresh as the day they left. My best friend and daughter has been gone a little over 5 years. Though there is time there, the pain is as if time has stopped the day she left. No one can understand this unless you personally go threw it. I get angry when others make comments about healing and so on because it's like dismissing my pain. Now, no one says it to me because I've made them aware. it helps to tell others that time does not heal the pain, and no I will never get over loosing my baby, whatever their age was. people need to respect that, even if they can't understand it.

Raj Kumar - posted on 01/11/2014

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To Say that Time heals the pain of those unfortunate parents who lost their loving child.....it amounts to adding insult to their injuries. Love and Affection of Parents for their lost child is beyond the limits of time......Even after death of the body of those parents.....their pain remains recorded in time....by way of those tears....those cries.....those sighs.............Yes I am Still crying for my Loving Son Arpit who died an untimely death just at the age of sixteen when we met with a road accident on this day of 11th January 2009 ....my body was saved and he died.............This Pain gives a feeling as if my loving son is still with us....I love this Pain and will live with this pain till my last breath.......We Miss You Arpit.......

Shawna - posted on 01/03/2014

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Reading everyone's post. Just makes me so sad. My son was 3 years old when he passed. That was a yr and a half ago. Nothing has gotten easier. I'm still sad. I still miss him every second of every single day. I have lost my job. I have nightmares. Take medicine. People say I'm the strongest person. They know. God had a plan. I don't believe any of that. Its so sad to believe such a happy happy little boy was taken from me. He was wonderful. So smart. He wasn't sick. Why couldn't god just take me instead. I don't understand I can't understand and I will never be the same without him. Jordan I love u. We are thinking of having another baby and I am scared for it to be a boy because of the fact I don't want anyone to even try to have this baby replace Jordan. I am just still so so so so sad. I miss him always.

Clare - posted on 01/02/2014

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I lost my angel a month ago and it's getting worse to bear. I can't look at pictures my mum bought me a beautiful locket but I can't beat to get a picture to put in it or look at his hair the mortuary got me. I feel like I'm faking my life carrying on. I didn't think I could have children and he was a miracle and I miss him so much he was perfect and healthy and I feel so guilty that I'm alive and he's not. He died of cot death. I feel like I want to scream at people all the time but I have to force a smile instead so that people don't worry about me. I hate them worrying about me. What if I never get pregnant again what if I do it won't be him. All I want is him. I am empty without him.

Nesha - posted on 12/30/2013

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It will never be the same for us mom who have loss a child...they would not understand...

Nesha - posted on 12/30/2013

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I know the pain..you are going through I loss my son 1year ago...he was seven years...how my heart hurt for him...I see the family and friends celebrating the holidays and all that goes through my minds let the Christmas goes fast...I mis my son...I cry so much....

Heather - posted on 12/30/2013

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Gina you are so right about the stuff people say to us grieving moms especially "your the strongest woman I know!" And "your such an inspiration being as strong as you are through this!" I just want to scream at them "IM NOT STRONG im dying inside every second I have to keep living a life that my boys aren't in anymore. I FAKE a smile and conversations FOR EVERYONE else." Two of The worst things though to say to a mom whose lost a child is "least there in a better place then we are" and "everything happens for a reaso n" BULLCRAP there's no reason why my boys died in our burning home, nothing can be said that makes it ok or comforting. January will be 9 months since me and my BFF buried my 2 boys an her son and its definitely not gotten any easier if anything it's harder and the future holds nothing but more hard times of the same pain I've felt since I was told they didn't make it. Thinking about them never hugging me or kissing me night night takes my breath away the same EVERY time . I also wonder about God now too. What kind of God lets my babies die in a blazing hot burning house and doesn't step in?? My oldest was almost to safety from the house and turned around and went back to save his brother and friend but didn't make it before the smoke knocked him out like it did me. My 9 year old died a hero and sacrificed his life for another's bc I was raising him right like God expects of us when he gives us the blessing of children , so why do i deserve this punishment when millions abandon or abuse there children that they don't want yet the ones who adore there kids from the start are the ones suffering and mourning the death of there child or children!?! It's not fair I just want my boys back.

Gina - posted on 12/27/2013

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I lost my older son (14) 9 months ago in a tragic accident. I too, have a hard time with those things people say "you're strong" or "you're stronger than I would be" ...... Gee thanks. Really? You have no idea. You have no idea what I go through every second of the day, every second I miss him, walk by his room, look at his things, witness his lonely brother on a daily basis. Think of how happy our family WAS and are now destroyed. Then to be told by people "he's in a better place" or "he's in a happy place". REALLLLLY??? He wasn't sick, he wasn't suffering. He was a happy, loving, kind, compassionate thoughtful boy with a very bright future.
And he's in a happy place? You send your child to that better, happy place and let me know how that makes you feel!!!!!
It's also amazing how some people bombard you the first couple weeks after your loss. Then - they're gone. Life goes on. For them.
Thank goodness for the friends we have that have stuck around and are ALWAYS there for us. You find out real quickly who your real friends are.

I agree - I don't think time heals. If anything - gets harder as more and more realizations that he is not coming back. more plans surface that will never happen. There's a hole in my heart. My heart/chest literally hurt, every day.
It's excruciating to see a little brother missing his older brother/his best friend every single day. Now his life and who he WAS is forever changed. His happy childhood taken away as well.

I am not sure i believe there's a God any longer. Who would allow Such horrific pain inflicted on good people, happy families and children.

Stacey - posted on 12/23/2013

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I don't believe time heals.. I think as time goes on its 'easier' to put a smile on for the world but everyday I cry for my 11yr old son he died may 2012... everyone deals with things differently but the worst thing people say to me it 'your strong you will be ok' and that's rubbish as I have a heart and it belonged to my son.... and I am only here to look after my youngest son

Patricia - posted on 12/15/2013

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Linda, I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my only daughter 5 years ago to the complications of diabetes she got when she was 12. She lived to be 36. Prior to her dying she lost her legs, went on kidney dialysis and could not hold in food. She went down to below 80 lbs. A once beautiful and thriving beauty. She never lost her spirit and was an inspiration to all. I feel your pain. As mothers we all know no matter how old your child was, no matter how long it's been since they left, the pain in our hearts is felt between us. Love and blessings to us all.

Amnah - posted on 09/06/2013

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I lost my prety angle on the 16.08.13 she was my 4th child she waz born still my heart is tearing apart every day when i think of her i still think its a dream when i wake up :'(

Nakiria - posted on 05/30/2013

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i lost my presious daughter six weeks ago and the pain is still very fresh in my heart. every time i pray to God to give me the strength to move on. but when i remember the negligence of the nurses, the pain and anger just comes afresh

Linda - posted on 05/08/2013

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No. What time does is it makes dealing with everyday life easier, but the pain will be always there. My 16 year old daughter went to heaven 1.5 years ago. Not a day or a moment goes by that she is not on my mind in some form. The one gift I would love to receive is the one I cannot have. Her memory will be with me always.

Linda - posted on 04/29/2013

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I also lost my daughter to breast cancer ,she was young and had two babies ,she had triple neg breast cancer ,I`m angry and mad ,she was almost three years out ,and she went to the James Cancer center ,they didn`t do scans ,they told her if something lasted over two weeks go see about it ,she got a back ache and stomach hurt ,she went to the ER and then they did a scan and it was in her Liver lungs and Brain ,and stomachlining ,all through her ,I watched her suffer ,they gave her Radation to the Brain ,then she couldn`t walk ,and 2 Chemo treatments ,she lived a month and two weeks ,I feel like they should have watched her closer ,she was beautiful ,she thought she was healed ,I cry every day ,and her kids are having a hard time also! Linda

Robin - posted on 04/29/2013

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Firstcandle.org looks like it might be a helpful website. I was able to find type of support group thing even in my county. I'll post more about it if its useful. I found it very hard to find what I'm looking for online, when it comes to help for all this!!

Robin - posted on 04/29/2013

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I'm not sure how forums work so I apologize in advance for any mistakes I make. I guess I am sharing with whoever is on here. Heather Dear made the most resent post so hopefully we can help each other some how. I lost my 4 month old son on April 12, 2013. He was a healthy baby. He did not die of SIDS. And the state I live in cause of death takes up to six months to find out. We just had his service Friday afternoon. My son was my fourth child, and if it wasn't for God, my husband and my other three children I don't know where I'd be. My emotions are like a roller coaster. And not one I want to be on. I know God wont give me more then I can handle, so I am trying to ask God for the strength I need to get through this. I know there won't be a day that goes by that I won't hurt. But I do have faith that it will get easier to handle. When I was googling looking for help for what I'm feeling this was one of the first things I saw. And I hate that there are so many moms on here that hurt as much as I do. I wouldn't wish this pain hurt torture tragedy on anyone. I made a promise to myself and my family that good would come from us losing him!! God doesn't make these bad things happen but he can help good come from them.

Tersia - posted on 04/27/2013

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I cannot possibly give you an answer. My precious child died 100 days ago. I am so scared I will never feel better.

April - posted on 04/22/2013

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Hey it's been 6 years to the day tomorrow that I lost my son. He was still born I carried full term and was told I had a text book pregnancy when I had aske to give birth early the doctor said u can wait and my baby died I can't seem to cope with it and its been this long. Is this normal?? I'm still with his father it i feel like I can't talk to him about ANYTHING I miss my baby so much there were. Times. When I thought death would be easier. Any answers would be greatly apriciated My heart goes out to ALL you parents who have lost a child




I have one more question. Would it be wrong to shy away from my daughter and boyfriend to seek counseling?

Angela - posted on 04/17/2013

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Hello Kelly I am new on here my beautiful 26 year old daughter died last year after giving birth to my grandson she hadn't even been married a year. She had cardio myopathy peri partum but they treated her for pneumonia, I have no husband as he left two years earlier and when she passed my whole life fell apart I could not understand how people could carry on as normal did they not know what had happened. I have just read your story and my heart goes out to you and your family I don't know where the strength comes from to just carry on with our lives without our precious child but it does I can't say I care or enjoy life like I used to but my little grandson gives me so much joy and I am grateful for the blessing of him . I pray your life will get easier and more bearable and that you find peace
Bless you
Angela herdman

Angela - posted on 04/17/2013

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Hello Kelly I am new on here my beautiful 26 year old daughter died last year after giving birth to my grandson she hadn't even been married a year. She had cardio myopathy peri partum but they treated her for pneumonia, I have no husband as he left two years earlier and when she passed my whole life fell apart I could not understand how people could carry on as normal did they not know what had happened. I have just read your story and my heart goes out to you and your family I don't know where the strength comes from to just carry on with our lives without our precious child but it does I can't say I care or enjoy life like I used to but my little grandson gives me so much joy and I am grateful for the blessing of him . I pray your life will get easier and more bearable and that you find peace
Bless you
Angela herdman

Peggy - posted on 04/11/2013

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I lost my 16 year old son in jan. He was my life. He was my baby. It is the worse kind of pain you could imagineI dont think I will ever get over it

Kelly - posted on 04/11/2013

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I lost my son Nick 3 weeks ago today, he was 28 yrs old, very happily married, not even 2 yrs. with a beautiful 11 month old son and step daughter he raised since she was 1 yr old. He was being treated for pneumonia..was pumped full of antibiotics, and given more to take home. He kissed his wife, baby & daughter goodnight and slept on the sofa, so he wouldn't make them sick. When my daughter n law woke at 7 am, she found him on the bathroom floor. My sweet granddaughter had to see the paramedics working on her Daddy, he didn't make it to the hospital before he was gone. I got a frantic phone call and 5 minutes later I felt my son leave this life. I am so angry with God, my faith is gone, my heart is broken and I feel as if I'll never recover from this. My son lived 700 miles away, but we spoke everyday,we did FaceTime 3 days a week, he was born when I was 16, we grew up together. He was my dearest friend. I can't look at photos of him, I cry all day and I can barely function. I Began grief therapy today, I hope it helps. My husband is to worried about me to grieve for himself. I just don't understand how this could happen? Nick was a well loved man and a man who loved deeply, he was kind and generous. Why take him when there are so many awful people still walking around breathing? I use to be afraid of death, now I'm not..because someday I know I'll see my baby again. I know I'll never be the same, there is a hole in my heart, I just hope it heals enough that I can smile again without feeling horribly sad because my son can't smile back.

Peggy - posted on 04/07/2013

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I lost my precious son Jan10th of this year. He was 16 and it was totally unexpected. I feel like I am losing my mind at times. I know my Jesse is in heaven and I will see him again. I now have to find a way to re-invent who I am.Its very lonely.

Anita - posted on 03/17/2013

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Thank you for allowing me to read your tears. I thought i should be over the loss, emptiness of my daughters death. I cannot talk to my family about this. Perhaps i have too much time on my hands. I am a widow and do not have someone to lean on. So i thoughti would try this site. My heart bleeds for you as well. i have never been on this site before until now today March 2013. My daughter passed June 29th, 2010. I watched her slowly die at her bedside. I had to go to another place in the house because i could not see her or feel her stop breathing. I have never been to therapy or a cancer support group. I felt that they would think i was hanging on and to move on with my life. It is so difficult to move on, when she was the only person in the world i could confide my deepest feelings or concerns.

Anita - posted on 03/17/2013

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yes it was. However, i would like to hear from those who lost their daughter to breast cancer. She was my oldest. My best friend. First born of 4 daughters. My life seems to have no meaning since her death. I am a single mom

Dawn - posted on 03/04/2013

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I lost my son 6 months ago. He was a 16th yrs. We don't know what cause his death. We still waiting for the postmortem report he was a healhty boy. he complained about chest pains took him to hospital he died before we got to the hospital. I am so angry toward my husbun It feels like he took to long to get to the hospital sometime (most times) it feels like he just is visiting my fam and id back home soon

Kayla - posted on 02/16/2013

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i lost two of my sons due to a house fire Godis good but my pain is still tjer i miss them so much they were my life but i still jave their little brother Terry n that's who keeps me strong because no one can love your more than his mother i just ask god to jeal him and don't let him go through the pain that i am feeling because he doesn't deserve that he was 3 when it happened and he remember everything so god heal us please

Desirea - posted on 01/08/2013

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It's hurt, anger and recentment. It's awful and i don't think anyone should ever have to endure loosing a child. Those who have their children safely home and in their beds right now are so lucky that they don't even realize how lucky they are. because anyone who experiences it would give their last breath to have their children back@

Desirea - posted on 01/08/2013

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You don't ever get over it. It's with you everyday. It's never going to be the same again and some parents handle it differently. For me, I can't ever see myself living life normally again. It's a depression and an unfamiluar place to be in. It's complete and utter pain. It's torture and to be honest almost impossible to get out of bed. I think over time you just become numb to the pain but you never get over it.

Mary - posted on 12/19/2012

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We lost our son 4 days before Christmas. 2 19 year old kids were street racing and one lost control and went over the median to where our son was driving the car went airborne and landed on our son killing him instantly he didn't know what hit him the 19 year old was going over 100 mph. My sons daughter was 2 years old at the time. She wants her daddy. This was December 21, 2007. You think 5 years and we should have a grip feels like yesterday. Changes you forever. If we didn't have another son and granddaughter we wouldn't be here. Very stressful. It saddens me to know all the people who have lost a child. I have a sister. A friend and recently a friends sister. All lost a child. It never gets easy. I feel resentment. I was the person friends wanted to be like since I celebrated everyday every little moment I appreciated. I know we all wish we could go back in time Rob we miss you.

App+7mnejhu - posted on 08/29/2011

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For me time has made no difference...I lost my little girl 23 years ago, (she only lived for 11 hours), the pain is as raw today as it was then...I now have a wonderful 11 year old boy and we talk about her sometimes and on her birthday do something together simple quiet but special...

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I lost my only child Naythan Kenney from a accidental drug over dose ,he was 34, the day that he died i was cut off from seeing my grandson so it felt like 2 deaths, it will be 3 years Sept 20TH and i still cry every day, i miss his hugs & kisses ,, i miss his smell and i miss my grandson growing up , he was 4 when i last saw him and now he is 7 1/2 years old , he lives only 3o min away ,he was my happiness, i feel so lonely and alone at times even though i have loved ones near. . The pain does not get much easier, i was a single mother most of Nate's life and we were so close. I can still hear him say ....Hi Mama . Sometime i beg the lord to HELP ME ,, i feel so isolated and alone at times. Verlene

Kerry - posted on 04/11/2010

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The moment you give birth to your child you are linked by love, therefore you can never forget your child, the aching, pain, sadness and confusion we feel is all linked to that of love, your child could of passed yesterday or 10+ years ago and the whole in your heart will still be as fresh as the day your childs life was sadly taken away from you.

i am so sorry for for all of your losses, i have had a couple of miscarraiges and they were painfull enough for me, but as afr as holding, loving and knowing your child to end up losing them i couldn't imagine what that must be like,

my sympathy and thoughts go to you all and your families
xxx

Janet - posted on 04/10/2010

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You will never get over it but you will get used to it. For me, it was hard to talk to people about my loss but I was able to write about it. I kept the journal private and sometimes I look at it. I still cry for my lost daughters after more than 12 years and I think of them everyday but the pain has lessened. You will find ways to keep her in your heart while leaving room for joy in your life.

Tonesa - posted on 04/09/2010

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just like everyone says time makes it easier to manage but the pain, the hurt will never go away. Im not angry anymore, and there was actually one time in the last 6 years i was actually able to go through his diaper and onesie he wore and actually smile and not cry but I very much miss my Jaylin

Barbara - posted on 03/13/2010

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Melissa it is way too soon for you to be so hard on yourself. I too believe everything happens for a reson and it took me 2 years to figure it out. My son was 18 and died in a car accident. It has been 8 1/2 years. I have finally found purpose and meaning in my life. It takes TIME to find our way and what we are supposed to do with this tragedy but you will. Find the people who are your comfort people and let them help you. I hate the phrase "time heals all wounds" but I have to say after 8 1/2 years it is true. We all take different steps on our journey and you will find your way. Don't be so hard on yourself. I wish oyu peace in your heart as you continue on your journey.

Tabitha - posted on 03/13/2010

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I had a one and a half year old son named Taylor and I gave birth to my second born, Tanner. He was born on a Friday so we were stuck at the hospital until Monady, March 12th 2007. He was beautiful and healthy. In the early early hours of that monday morning, he quit breathing. The nurse came in to do a standard vital sign check and his skin was blue and he was cold to the touch. They were able to revive him and he lived on life support for about a week. The doctors finally said there was no hope for recovery and that it was time. So March 19th 2007 I held him as his nurse turned off his machines.

My pain at times is just as fresh and raw as it was the moment he passed away. Others that all seems like a distant memory, almost unreal. I would love to tell you that everything will be ok and that it eases over time, but I can't. I still cry myself to sleep sometimes, praying for one more chance to hold him.....I'm so sorry for your loss, and I hope we can all find our own ways of coping with our grief....

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