Chrystal - posted on 03/04/2009 ( 71 moms have responded )
Almost four years ago I had to choose to terminate or continue my pregnancy with a child who would most likely not live.
My daughter, Kaitlyn, had a birth defect where the back portion of the skull didn't fully develop. This caused a large portion of her brain to grow outside her skull. We were told that she only had a 3% chance of survival and that if she lived the best case scenario was that should would be able to breath and swallow on her own. This was only a 1% chance.
If we chose to continue the pregnancy they would deliver her C section and take a portion of my hip to form the back of her skull. They would have to remove all or most of the brain portion that was outside of the skull. This would eliminate over half of her brain mass.
We were also told that she would be just as aware as anyother person as the frontal portion of her brain was fully intact. This was not info they offered but was an answer to my question.
We could also choose to terminate the pregnancy. If we did this they would place a needle into her heart and inject a medication that would instantly stop her heart.
We chose to let our daughter go knowing only the wamth and comfort of my womb.
My sister-in-law told me that I needed to give God the time to heal my daughter and that by letting her go I had not giving him this time.
Since this was all a converstion two years after the fact it made me again worry about the choice I had made to stop my child from a life of pain and suffering.
When I called my Grandma she told me something that was very helpful to me.
"In order for there to be good in the world there is also evil. God is not responsible for all the pain and suffering in our lives. Sometimes his gift to us is the strength to make the awful choice to send our child to be forever in his care."
I hope this helps others who have made the difficult decission to let go.