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Had my stillborn son last yr and sibling having terrible anxiety/trouble coping

Lindsey - posted on 09/05/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Last year my son was stillborn at 36 weeks. I went into the hospital when my water broke thinking I would go in and have my c section that i was scheduled for just days later to find there was no heartbeat. My daughter who was 5 at the time went to her grandparents in the middle of the night when this happened and came to visit me in the hospital days later and asked me the hardest question where her brother Mason was...I broke down how could I explain to her where he was one minute he is in my belly the next he is gone and not coming home with us. We explained he went to heaven he was sick and went to be an angel. Still I think she had so many questions and talks about him often but how could I answer anything when I still have no answers myself. I am currently 8 months pregnant with my miracle baby and I am terrified I try not to show it in front of my daughter but I know she can feel it. She has such high anxiety over everything making sure I am there to pick her up at school not leaving my side and its affecting her school work. I dont know what I can do. I am heartbroken for her I know its a real problem she puts herself into a panic over thinking about who is going to be there for her at school and not wanting us to do anything while shes at school so we arent late I try to explain she should have fun and its mommy and daddys job to get her and she doesnt have to worry. Please I need advise on how to make this better I am so sad for her feeling this way!

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Sharon - posted on 09/10/2012

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Hi Lindsey,first I want to say congratulations on your new journey! you have been through alot and I share that experience with you . I share a situation kinda similar, when I got the news that my son was stillborn my daughter who was 4 at the time was with me, I also had 3 older daughters who had to go through this time too. We all had anxiety but the youngest was the most devastated, she was scared to leave me, go to school all of that, she told me she was afraid I was going to be with her brother in heaven and leave her, the only thing that helped her was allowing her to express what she was feeling, constantly support her and show her that it was okay to leave me and go to school , etc. We all made extra time for her, asking her and reassuring her that we were going to be okay, then we did a project together and that helped her with the anxiety, we planted a small flower garden, we took care of it together and watched it grow, it gave her so much confidence and reassurance that we were going to be okay, hope this helps- Sharon

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